THE COMBINATORICS PROJECT
*** Pinkie Pie's Travelogue ***
WORLD 1, Day 1.
Congratulations! You have been selected to be my Travel Log! Out of all the little pink blank books in the marketplace, I picked YOU to be my receptawoggle of memories and notes as I go searching through the multiverse with Rainbow Dash for a cure for our friend Rarity! I hope you're excited! If not, I sure don't know what you were holding out for. Being an architectural notebook for the greatest palace ever BUILT?! Being a magic spell book for an ALICORN PRINCESS? I don't want to step on any dreams but those seem pretty unrealistic! Nope! You got the best gig you were gonna get. And the sooner you accept that, the better for both of us! Got it? GOOD!
This world is pretty ordinary so far as I can tell, but my nerves are still all frazzled! I'm scared that Rarity will never get better. I'm scared that Twilight and Applejack won't like us anymore now that we stole the plans to Twilight's machine and wrecked Applejack's shed! I'm even worried about Dash and me getting lost along the way. What if we can't go back or go on? What if we go so far we can never find our way back? What if we end up someplace dangerous―or worse, what if we go through so many worlds that we forget what the world we came from was like? I would hate to fall asleep seven times and wake up only six times and go for the rest of my life thinking I was awake when really I was only dreaming and then suddenly at the end―~Pop!~
Dash thinks I need to stay calm somehow, so she suggested I start keeping this travel log. I guess she has a point. If I'm doing all my worrying ahead of time on paper, maybe I'll shake all my worrybugs out and I won't worry anymore in real life! I'm thinking that frazzled nerves smooth over after a while anyway and then maybe they're prettier than ever! At least that's what I'm telling myself.
-Sincerely, Pinkie Pie
WORLD 1, Day 2
I hope you didn't mind me breathing on you just then. When I'm scared it helps to take deep breaths, and when I take deep breaths it helps to cover my face with something, so I guess you'll be pulling double duty for a while. I can see why Twilight likes books so much―they really do have a hundred uses! Tents for caterpillars, placemats, food for bookworms... don't tell Twilight about that last one.
Speaking of Twilight, it turns out this is the world where she took ME in as as a fellow researcher and now we're in crazy love together! I mean, I guess we knew we were gonna wind up in one of the worlds in the windows, except Dash had this weird idea that if she went fast enough, we'd just fly through six or seven worlds at once, bam bam bam. I told her that speed doesn't work that way―you can go fast, but if it's not in the right direction it doesn't help, and we can't even go in the directions we need to go without help from magic!
So now we need Twilight's help so we can move on to the next world, but... it's kind of weird. Twilight doesn't believe I'm really me! She thinks I'm another copy of the me that lives here already! She kept trying to catch me and make me do weird things like watch paint dry, and she wouldn't even listen to what I was telling her. Maybe Dash'll have better luck, but she's a total celebrity here and keeps getting mobbed for autographs. I told her she should just spend ten minutes in the morning signing things and take them with her to give to fans, and that way she gets all the work out of the way early. But it almost seems like she likes to chat with every random pony who gushes about her and tells her how much they love her. "Careful, Dash!" I told her. "If you get used to being treated like a Wonderbolt now, you might not have enough caring in you to really become Wonderbolt when we get back home!" But she just blew me off like I was her manager or her ex or maybe an ex-manager. Come on, Dash! Have you forgotten that we've got work to do?
Pinkie D. Pie.
WORLD 1, Day 3
Okay. I spent all morning watching grass grow and now I think I have grass stains on my retinas. But at least Twilight finally believes my story! Apparently they have some kind of mirror pool here like the one in Granny's nursery rhyme, only this one is real and makes new Pinkies—only they're defective because they can't do boring things! So I had a really boring morning! Because I had nothing else to do, I wrote about five poems in my head about grass growing, only now I can't keep them straight so I'm just going to mix them up into one big poem:
Green wave \ tidal hunger in a line \ sift sift spray
high as a knee \ the tiniest wind \ ant bungalow
And when I look again \ makes you wave like a flag \ one grain of sod
sweet and blue \ those two are the captains \ one toothy blade
Grass is a weapon of boredom \ when we step on it \ we are knights of fun!
I think that gets the point across. ANYWAY, Twilight finally started to listen to me after that, and the other me stopped inflating like a giant pickle long enough to listen too! I showed them the plans I borrowed from our world's Twilight, and they went into super science mode. I would call it mad science, but really it was the opposite of mad! But you can't just call it Happy Science, can you? So I'm sticking with super.
It was pretty amazing to watch myself talking science with Twilight and actually keep up! The other me used so many big words I'm sure at least thirty percent of them were made up, but that just makes it more impressive that Twilight followed along! It makes me think―could I study science the same way and be just as scientific? And if I studied grass, could I be a great grass farmer? It's weird to think that the only thing keeping me from being great at something is the fact that I DON'T WANT TO.
The Real Pinkie
WORLD 1 Day 4
Super science talking time is over! Now it's super science BUILDING time! I stayed over at the library in their big pink turning room with the question marks on it, and it was pretty weird. I was dizzy when I woke up, but in a good way! We went down for breakfast and they just shoveled down the sugary cereal. Spike had a tummy ache after that but Other-Me and Twilight were revving to go. That was too much sugar for even me, so I just stuck with toast with jam and marmalade and jam. And a little honey. When I'm traveling I like to eat light.
Anyway, they got to work building a new machinimabob according to Real-Twilight's plans, and they managed okay with the machine part, but the plans call for a five-sided building and they don't have one of those at the library! So we all invaded Sweet Apple Commune and forced them to build a five-sided barn for us so we could destroy it! Applejack was a pretty good sport about it. She got together everyone in the commune and we raised a barn together, except instead of singing "One, two, three, four" we sang "One, two, three, four, five"! Applejack didn't like that much because it threw off the beat, but she put up with it because she's such a good friend, even if she isn't the real Applejack (and to her I'm not the real Pinkie Pie). Twilight said something about exotic time signatures, so I guess she had a good time too!
So tomorrow morning we're going through! And then we'll be stuck again, at least for a while. Other-Me and Twilight weren't able to come up with a way for us to just keep speeding through worlds on our own, but maybe the next Twilight will! All I know is, if there's a door, we'll take it, and if there's a window, we'll break it! (Dash came up with that so now it's our motto until we think up something better.)
With hopes for a better tomorrow,
Your diarist Pinkie.
WORLD 2, Day 5
I have not ever seen flowers like these
Here, I put one in for you to smell!
Admittedly it makes you a little lumpy between these two pages, but I bet that'll smooth out after a while. This part is just two petals. The whole flower is so big I could put you inside! I can't blame Applejack and Rarity for yelling at me and chasing me with garden tools after I started jumping around in them. I mean, I can't think of a better use forgigantic flowers like these than bouncing from one blossom to another to another as if you were jumping on your bed in your sleep, but apparently they could.
Anyway, I think we'd better try and get out of here soon, because the local Applejack and Rarity don't like me much now. Apparently they're married and also apparently they have a big flower show coming up in Fillydelphia, and when I say a big flower show I don't mean a big flower show, I mean a big flower show. It may even be a [big big flower show]. I feel bad about spoiling their chances of winning, but sometimes you see something and you just have to have fun with it, you know? Normally I would make them a super-gigantic card to apologize, but Dash and I are on a deadline. What good is sparing one Rarity's feelings if another one slips away entirely?!
Twilight lives in Canterlot in this world for some reason. But I know she didn't just stay in Canterlot her whole life, because everyone here in Ponyville knows who she is! I don't know why she moved back, except that it's some sort of private princess business with Celestia. So Dash got us a chariot and in the morning we're gonna fly on over and see what's up. Maybe if Twilight can't help us, Princess Celestia can! Maybe they can even both help us! If so, I hope it adds up bigger instead of canceling out.
Your forever flower,
World 2, Day 6
Guess what?! Twilight really was in Canterlot on Princess Celestia's business. But it's not Princess Celestia's business. It's princess Celestia's busi
Okay I guess that joke only works once per world. Anyway, what I was trying to say is that Twilight is a princess here! Doesn't that just blow your papery little mind? She's got wings and a horn and a tiara and everything! Well, I guess she has a tiara at home, but she hardly ever wears it. Here, she wears it a bunch! And she wears her horn all the time in both places!
Twilight became a princess here by screwing something up and then unscrewing it again. Can you believe that? I don't think that's all it takes, though, because I've done that a bunch! Maybe that's just how it works in this world, though. Alright hold on I'm gonna check.
Nope! I smashed an egg on the floor and cleaned it up, and I'm not a princess yet! Maybe it takes a whole carton of eggs.
Well anyway, somehow Twilight made it work. So Dash and I went to see her, and first we had to fill out all this paperwork just to get an appointment! Well, I love doing paperwork, but it's one of my personal tragedies that even though I love it, I'm one of the worst paperwork doers the world has ever seen! Seriously. I once applied to be an usher at a Ponyacci show and I wound up getting, like, eighteen fishing licenses in the mail, and I don't even know what fishing is! So I really wanted to do the paperwork, but it was important, so I made Dash stop me. And so she had to do all the paperwork while holding me down with one leg, and Dash hates paperwork! I tried to make it at least a little exciting for her by struggling and trying to reach the papers. Dash likes it when you can make ordinary things into athletic events!
So to make a medium story medium, we ended up with lots of guards pouring into the room to pull us apart because they thought we were fighting, and then they stayed to help us with the paperwork because it was really hard, and eventually they were all arguing and stamping and making copies in quadruplicate and Dash and I just sneaked out of the room and left them to it.
So we went to Twilight's suite and she let us in and I had to brush her feathers for a while because they're SO COOL. I think Dash was miffed, but she doesn't let me brush her feathers, so what was I going to do? After that, we told Twilight about our situation and she said she'd talk to Princess Celestia and see if they could help us out.
Well, they can! Princess Celestia took us down a bright hallway shining with sunlight and leaf shadows and tinkling with little bells, because I think that's how she gets her wise on. She told us that she's afraid of this getting out of control and that she wants to make sure we don't cause, like, COMPLETE AND UTTER PANDEMONIUM where everyone's always going from one world to another until it's like, you have one world with all the fruit ponies and one world with all the weather ponies and one world with all the eggplants and one world where everyone just stops by to have a cupcake and one world made of rubber for nothing but bouncing. I mean it sounds kind of fun to me, but I guess the important thing is, once the worlds start getting mixed up, you can't ever go back. Princesses have to worry about important stuff like that.
Dash wanted to argue, though, so we went into a room with lots of marble stuff that was better for arguing in. Then we had tarts and orangeade. Then Twilight and Celestia talked about the sciencey stuff for a while. They're talking about whether it's possible to make a machine that only oneparticular pony can use. When they said that I threw my hoof in the air and cried "Me me me!" So I got my hoof in early and maybe that'll pay off when all the sciencing is done.
Then we had dinner in the royal court! That was a hoot. They have a royal juggling team I never saw before who ride on these weird machines while juggling, and some have one wheel and some have three and some have even five. They were pretty good, and then I went up there and taught them a few things. Then I got thrown out of the court into my bedroom, so now it's time for bed! I like the bed here. It's got so many layers I bet I wouldn't even be able to tell if I put a rock under the bottom one. I'm sure Rarity would, but we didn't have all these comforters and bedspreads and bedskirts and quilts back at the rock farm, so I'm guessing I probably won't feel a thing.
world 2, day 6 and a ½
shhhh dash is sleeping
if you listen I bet you can hear her snores they're like music
this room they gave us has two beds but it's really small. when we were going to sleep dash and i kept bumping into each other, especially when she opened her wings. our stuff is all in one big pile together and there's only one dresser and only one mirror.
so i decided, what the hay. i pushed my bed quietly up against hers.
now there's only one bed for both of us. don't tell! if i get up before dash i'll pull it back away again in the morning.
with a lowercase p,
World 3, Day 7
Okay! So! Where do I begin? With the ...No! I'll begin at the beginning! Because I read somewhere that's healthy for diaries, so it's probably true for travel logs too.
So I woke up and Dash was tossing and turning. It turned out that somehow the rock under my sheets had gotten under her sheets in the middle of the night, and I have no idea how that happened! I tried pulling the beds apart again but that's when she woke up, and from there it was all "Pinkie, what are you doing?" and "Pinkie Pie, you are so random" and stuff like that. I mean, it's not like I touched her in my sleep, right? We just shared a two-part bed and a rock. I mean in some places that's not even a second date!
Anyway, we went to breakfast in a really sunny room in the basement that looked like sunny side eggs, only there weren't any eggs! It was all porridge and little jelly tubes that you squeeze into the porridge. I made a picture of Rainbow! She just mixed it all up and ate it. But she did show me her tongue afterwards and it was rainbow-colored so at least I can respect that!
Anyway, the next thing I knew, the palace scrivener was at the door with a really long scroll that we had to sign. It was all about how we promised not to mess up the multiverse on purpose and we wouldn't let anyone else use our interdimensional transit machine under any circumstances and we'd come straight home as soon as we finished our quest and blah blah blah blah blah. Dash and I tried reading the whole thing tagteam style, but we both got bored and decided to just sign all the blank spots. To keep things interesting, I used a different name for each one―Pinkie Paste, Pronkie Pie, Prickly Pear... but it was in cursive so nopony could tell! I saved Pinkie Pie for the very end. It's not that I want to cheat and mess up the multiverse! I just want to keep my options open, just in case. You know how it is. OH NO WAIT YOU DON'T YOU'RE A BOOK
The scrivener went and got Princess Twilight and she showed us how to use our new toy! It's called a Dimensional Orifice Observational Hoofheld Instantaneous Contraption Ketchup Eeeeee Yup. Or DOOHICKEY for short! Actually I just made up that long name but I bet I had you going. Officially our thingummy is the Interdimensional Transit Doohickey 3.0, because it's the third one of these things we had to use. But unlike the other two gizmotrons, this one doesn't have to break in order to work! I always love that feature in a machine! (Except when I don't.)
So the idea is that we can use it over and over and over, so long as it's only me and Dash using it and we make sure to calibrate it after every jump. What does it mean to calibrate it? It means to turn the little toothy wheels until the pictures in the circle match up! Sometimes the pictures are just colors or clouds and sometimes they're actual pictures of stuff! I think they represent whatever's different about the world we came from and the world we wound up in, but Twilight was talking during that part so I couldn't hear what she was saying. Anyway I'm pretty good at picture puzzles so I'm sure we'll be okay.
After a lot of thank yous and bowing and goodbye kisses with the princesses, Dash and I went to a big long promenade in Canterlot and zoomed right through the world wall again! Even with the D.O.O.H.I.C.K.E.Y., you still have to go fast or it won't work! I think that's kind of neat. Dash pretended it was no big deal but I can tell she thinks it's pretty neat, too.
So when we came out, Canterlot was all done in dark blues and purples and everything looks the wrong color and the ponies are selling starcatchers instead of suncatchers and, well, it didn't take us long to figure out what the deal is with this world! In case you haven't guessed, it's this: Princess Luna is totally the Big Cheese around here. ('Cause you know―cheese moons? Yeah, I can tell you get it. I know you're laughing whenever your pages are really easy to turn!)
Dash and I have gone all over Canterlot, asking about who's in charge in clever ways that make it not totally obvious that we're from another UNIVERSE, and it's always "Princess Luna edict this" or "Princess Luna festival that". Everyone loves Luna here! Luna from our world would be so tickled to come here! I've got to get her to come and visit no wait I took a promise not to do that! Well chalkcakes. It's been less than three hours and I'm already thinking about being irresponsible with the doohickey.
Being responsible is HARD!
Throwing my head back and wailing,
WORLD 3, Still Day 7
*gaaaassp* (yes I actually wrote that)
So I found out why Princess Luna's in charge here. There is no Princess Celestia! In this world, Luna banished Celestia to the moon for like 1,728 years, and she isn't back yet! So this Luna is lonely, and a lonely princess makes for a lonely country!
You know what this calls for.
WORLD 3, Day 8
Princess Luna does not make it easy to for random ponies to throw parties for her! If I were a princess, that would be one of my top priorities. I'd have a whole wing of the palace open to the public so anyone who wants can come in and select a date and time to throw a princess party and then they would walk down halls and halls of fabrics and decorations and furniture and games and they'd pick out all the perfect stuff to throw their very own custom party for Princess Pinkie! And I'd want to have no idea when a party was about to happen, so I'd make sure my advisors would all fill up my schedule to the brink with princess business, and I'd look at it and start to cry when I saw all the not-party stuff, but then I'd blink it off and smile because that's what a princess does. But then, suddenly, out of the blue, I'd be going to my ten o'clock aglet factory dedication and BAM! A party! For Me! And I'd tear up the speech I was about to make for the aglet factory workers and make confetti out of it and everypony would cheer! And I'd dance down the the street to my next appointment with everyone following and music playing and balloons bopping back and forth... I would basically be the best princess ever.
Well. The next time they have princess auditions, I'll be all set. For now, though, I have work to do! First―more paperwork. Next, I have to make friends with like everypony in alternate-world Canterlot, which I'd probably want to do anyway, but still! That's a lot of ponies! And then I've got to find a way to cheer up the Princess of the Night about the fact that she doesn't have a Sister of the Day to keep her company, so she has to keep raising and setting the sun all the time on top of the moon, and the sun is hot so she doesn't like touching it so instead most of the time the sun here has clouds all around it! And what kind of a late autumn do you think that makes for? A somewhat less bright late autumn than normal! So it's clear that before Dash and I leave this world, there is work to be done.
Please come to my party!
Pleadingly, Princess Pinkie.
WORLD 3, Day 9
It's getting really nippy out and the red and orange leaves are getting really dark! I bet winter is scheduled to happen soon!
I've got a scroll now with a long list of ponies I've met and their cutie marks and what they're into and what kind of parties they like and whether they can come or can't come or can maybe come and I keep reading it and crossreferencing it with address books and I think the probability of this party still being a surprise party is near zero. But then again, maybe no one ever talks to Princess Luna! I don't know whether to hope she has friends who'll tell her about the party or whether to hope it's still a surprise! Actually, I hope she has friends who're smart enough to keep it a surprise. That's it!
If no one else, there's World 3 Twilight Sparkle. She's not a princess here, but she is Luna's student, and they do astronomy and magic research together. I went pssst to Twilight like seven times and ducked out of the way each time, until I felt like I'd set the mood for secrecy. Then I gave her one more pssst and told her all about the party! She's in! She made a spell to analyze all the things everyone told me they like at their parties, and now she's going down my scroll with it to see what kind of party we should have. Okay hold on, I want to see wh
It looks like we're going to be throwing a 'sexball Yahtzee dog' party! Wait, what is that even. Ooookay, I'm gonna have Twi freshen up her spell a little.
WORLD 3, Day 10
I guess it shows what we know, huh? I've been getting thousands and thousands of guests lined up for Luna's big party, but Dashie's brought in the best guest yet! It's DJ PON-3! Because Twilight-3 never went to Ponyville, nopony here's ever heard of DJ PON-3, so I know they're in for a SUPER treat!
Wait. If this world's Twilight is Twilight-3, does that mean this world's DJ PON-3 is actually DJ PON-3-3?!
Maybe that simplifies to DJ PON-6. I'll ask Twilight, she's the mathy one.
WORLD 3, Day 11
Today is the big party and I'm so excited I'm gonna draw a million balloons!
okay that's good enough
WORLD 3, Day 12
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE that party was so FUN!
Luna was the most amazed adorable astonished party victim ever! She just kept turning from pony to pony to pony and saying "You threw this party for me?!" Like no one ever heard of doing something nice for the princess before! But I guess no one here did! Luna's usually all business in this world, and I guess she doesn't ask for gifts or fancy behavior and because she doesn't ask, nopony bothers giving it! But the best gifts are the ones you never asked for! And I guess I taught that to everyone, since they brought so many gifts all wrapped up in silver sparkling ribbons over indigo and blue and gray and other moon colors like that. We had so many presents that we kind of threw out the Yahtzee dog theme and played games with the boxes, stacking them up as high as we could and guessing what was inside them and even letting some ponies other than Princess Luna keep some of them, because even a princess of Equestria doesn't need that many gifts. And Luna was just so delighted and flabbergasted every time she turned around or opened a box! Then some poet ponies I met read a whole bunch of poems in her honor―I guess they'd already written them but nopony ever bothered to read them to Luna because she never asked. So now they had dozens and dozens of poems just built up ready to come out! After all the poets had had a couple turns, I decided to have them all read all the rest of their poems at once, and we turned the lights down low except for the poets and we all just did a sort of swimming dance around the room like we were on the moon while we listened to all the poems at once. Since a lot of them had the same words over and over, it worked out great! And that was just the first course of a five course party. When Dash and DJ PON-6 hit the scene, things really got rocking!
It was loooong, too! There was a part where we all went strolling along the palace hallways like we were all dandies, and Princess Luna was the dandiest! And there was a Twenty Questions part, and a Have You Ever part, and we made up some rules for Dog Yahtzee, too. Then there was a part where the DJ played quiet music and we all lounged in Luna's private quarters eating crackers and cheese and chatting about our problems, and that's when Dash brought up the subject of how there were always clouds over the sun. I could have KISSED her! I mean I guess I could kiss her anytime and there's really nothing stopping me except for that we're not in love yet, but right then at the party I felt a little teeny tiny twingey of what might have been love. Because she started bugging the other pegasuses about how come Luna's got to hold the hot sun all by herself, and can't they come up with anything better than sun clouds to cool it down? Like, see-through sun clouds? Anyway, the discussion got really technical cause I guess it's not really clouds around the sun, it's some kind of suncorn or corona or something and the sun is actually really far away. But Luna and Dash and the weather pegasi all went into the other room and talked for an hour while the rest of us played Canterlot rules popscotch, and when they came back, they were babbling about all these ideas that had them all excited! I guess Luna never really thought to ask for help with the sun before. But now, thanks to Dash and me, the whole thing's a team project! And that just makes me feel so bright and burny and sunny inside!
Sorry about the last two paragraphs. I forget to start new paragraphs when I'm writing about parties. I hope it doesn't hurt. Maybe it's like holding your breath and it feels really good when I start a new paragraph, like you can breathe again. I'll go ahead and hold my breath for a while to make it up to you.
THERE Now we're even! *gaaassp*
So anyway, we couldn't really keep it a secret that we were from another dimension after Dash started asking all these questions about the sun that everyone already knows, aside from how I don't know the rules to Sexball Yahtzee Dog. So in the end, everyone found out we were on a quest, and Luna got all curious again, moving her neck in every which direction the way she does to look at our doohickey, and she insisted on doing some research on it. So we all went up to her private tower (which is different from her private quarters which are different from her private suite) and waited for her to use all her astronomy stuff on it! I guess a normal telescope lets you see the stars up close, but her special telescope lets her look into other worlds! At least a liiittle bit. She wanted to get us moving in the right direction to find a cure for a magical curse, so she put a little extra window on our calibrator and now if we always go in the direction where the window does a little curtain waving thing, we'll get closer and closer to where we need to be! I'm so excited already because it seems like every time we meet the same ponies we already know, they just want to help us more! I feel like we're getting closer to helping Rarity every day and it was totally worth spending almost a week here to throw a giant party.
Oh, gosh. Wasn't it? What if those six days are the only six days Rarity had left?! Now I feel really guilty, which is a shame after such a big long happy entry. I'm gonna end this with something nice so it feels okay after all.
WORLD 4, Day 13
everyone here is a ZEBRA
I'm just gonna
WORLD 5, Day 13
Okay that was weird. Maybe I should have stayed to make friends with them all, but ...whoo. Zebras are supposed to be black and white. They're not supposed to be blue and orange. Or red and gold. Or wear bowties. I mean I try to keep an open mind but even I have limits for how much I can take at once.
Dash says we did the right thing. This world seems pretty okay! Canterlot is even Cantermore than ever, with big spiry buildings everywhere and all these see-through glowing balls in the air. I just saw a mare stick her head into a light green one and now she's smiling! I think they're for making you feel better when you're sick or something like that. I'm gonna try some.
Still Day 13
Do you know that feeling you get when you're just waking up but you haven't woken up yet and you just have to streeEEEetch and it feels so good to stretch, and you remember how great it is to have muscles and legs you can stretch, and then you want to NO I forgot of course you don't, you're a book! You probably have your own weird pulpy spiny feelings I could never understand! But that's cool―you can probably relate anyway. I just was saying, that's how the lavender light ball made me feel! And the pumpkin-colored one made a stomach ache go away that was so little I didn't even know I had it! And the light green one made my sinuses all clear so it's easier to breathe! And the sky blue one cleared my head, so that's when I realized that a bunch of merchants were all looking at me and waiting for me to pay for using their light balls! But I didn't even know they cost anything until I used the sky blue one! Anyway I gave them all my money but it still wasn't enough, so Dashie gave them all her money but we still owed the merchant with the sky blue ball, so then I said I was really sorry but I didn't have any more money but I could work it off, and did she have any work for me to do?
And she asked me a bunch of questions. They were the kind of questions you would ask if your head is always really clear, things like where I came from and why I didn't know you had to pay to use the world-famous Canterlot health globes! So I told her, well, if they're WORLD FAMOUS and I still didn't know about them, then logically where must I be from? And she scratched her head and said "Outside the world?" And I leaped into her personal space and said EXACTLY! So we got to talking and eventually she said okay, I can help her sell her services. She's got a spare health globe she can get out of storage and I can help her hawk it tomorrow. Hawking is like selling, but sharper! It's like what Apple Bloom does at the market until Applejack makes her stop! I can do that. I like talking about how great things are and I like being LOUD, so I should be all set!
Buy my stuff!
WORLD 5, Day 14
I hate my brown ball.
Do you know how some mornings you get out of bed and you feel so zippy and chippy and leapy and beepy that you just can't stop shaking, and all you want to do is flop down, chill out and relax? No, of course you don't―you're a book! And I don't either, because I'm me! But apparently some ponies do. Either their nerves are all hypernervous and they get frazzled whenever a thimble drops or they can't stop being excited about their birthday in only eighty-seven days or else they drank too much of this Cameluvian drink they have here called coffee, but for one reason or another they just need to sloooow doooown, and that's what my big brown ball is for! But how am I supposed to hawk that? I love being speedy! It's like the greatest thing about life because life is motion and speed is more motion and that's why speed is life! (Dash agrees with me on that.) So if I hawk this brown slow-down ball, it's like saying "Step right up, and I'll give you less life than you had before!" That's HORRIBLE! Rarity has less life than she had before, and do you think she's happy about it? NO!
But I gave it my best go anyway, because how else am I going to earn the money I owe Miss Clear Horizon? And besides what I owe her, Dash and I need money for things like buying food! And rooms to stay in! And party supplies! And on top of all that, I promised I'd do it! So I spent today honing my pitch, or maybe homing it or both. And once it was all homed, I went up to some ponies and tried to talk them into getting The Full Clear Horizon Slo-Down Xperience. I made sure to pronounce 'slow' without a 'w' and 'experience' without an 'e', but I'm not sure they caught that! Most of my pitch involves me sticking my head in the ball and then doing things in really slow motion, like pitching a softball or pouring lemonade out of a pitcher or singing the Equestrian Anthem off-pitch. I don't know if everything you do in a pitch has to be pitch-related somehow, but I did it that way just to be on the safe side. And I have to admit it's fun to do things really slowly, but almost no one wanted to use the ball! The only customers I got were a couple of foals who thought I was funny and a goofy stallion who wanted to play slo-mo sof-bal with me. And that's after trying all day long! That didn't even earn me enough money to pay for the molasses for the lemonade! And lemonade with molasses, by the way? Ewie! Some things are just meant to be sparkly sweet, no matter how frazzledazzled your poor nerves may be.
Dash says she'll take a turn trying tomorrow. She spent today in Cloudsdale talking to herself. I can't blame her―I may track myself down in Ponyville tomorrow! If Canterlot looks like this, I can't wait to see what otherotherotherotherotherme has done with Sugarcube Corner!
Ppppppppppppiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnn nnnnnnnnnkkkkkkkkkkkkkkiiiiii―zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
WORLD 5, Day 15
I still don't know how I wrote all those z's as I was falling asleep yesterday. Maybe I sleepwrote them. It could be my subconconscious is rebelling against all this slow motion stuff, because there's only so much time in the day and I wanna do stuff! Not just wait for myself to finish stuff after I start it! That's no way to live!
But speaking of ways not to live, wait til you hear about my Pinkieganger in this world. I looked for her in Ponyville, but she wasn't in Ponyville! So I asked around, but no one had ever heard of her! I was starting to get nervous and wondering where I could have gone, since I was pretty sure there wasn't a Pinkie Pie in Canterlot, or everyone would have recognized me as her when I was there! But then I had a horrible sinking hunch (the worst kind) and I took a trip to the old family rock farm.
There I was! All grown up and still turning those rocks! My parents and sisters were all gone, but I had a husband―a really creepy quiet husband called Salt Cellar. He was gray with crazy tan hair that clashed with all the fallen fall leaves and he said he was glad to meet me in a way that made me think he probably felt like two Pinkies were better than one! But my other self was the really depressing part. Her hair was still straight the way I used to wear mine, and her cutie mark was just one yellow balloon! She asked me how I got three, and I didn't know what to say. Should I tell her I had three balloons on my butt because I worked three times as hard at having fun? Should I tell her she probably had three to begin with but the others got popped? It was the most awkward moment ever and it made me really remember how grateful I was to finally get off the old farm.
Other-me's belly was really big, and I asked her whether she'd eaten up all the cakes just before I got there and if that's why there were no more cakes. But then she surprised me completely by telling me there weren't any cakes at all in there―it was a foal! Other-me is pregnant! I wanted to say congratulations and I did say congratulations but on the inside I wanted to squirm and creep away. Me? A mother? I think I could be a pretty good mother and I even foalsat the Cake's kids a couple of times, but that's because I've had the chances I've had to find who I am! How is other-me supposed to help kids find their destinies if she hasn't even found her own? Because, I mean, this can't be her destiny, right?
They invited me in for lunch, which was peas. Just peas! They were mashed up a little in a sort of half butter sauce and I don't know if that made it better or worse. Over lunch, she told me about how she thinks her yellow balloon represents hope, and how when she and the other farmers get together once or twice a month, sometimes she sings a song that brings back hope in their hearts. She sang one for me, and it was pretty, but in a way that made me want to get on a gondola and float away forever. Then I sang her and Salt Cellar a song about having fun, and their eyes were really big and when they weren't staring at me they were glancing at each other. I told other-me all about the sonic rainboom that made me all excited and inspired when I was a filly, and about the party I threw for our family, and about getting involved with the musical hayrides and writing all those songs and meeting Cup Cake and moving to Ponyville and everything, and by the time I was done, other-me had tears in her eyes. I was afraid to ask if she was happy or sad! I just told her I thought maybe, just maybe, there was more out there for her than what she'd found so far. And then I left, because I was getting overwhelmed and I didn't know what more I could do!
Rainbow's Rainbowganger was different, but not that different. I guess in this world she's more just an ordinary jock and not so much about ambition or the Wonderbolts, and weirdly enough she doesn't take as many naps. I know because Rainbow said she kept trying to take a nap with her other self, and her other self just kept pointing out that it was still daylight, and daytime was for being awake, and didn't ordinary Rainbow know that? Rainbow-5's cutie mark is a cloud with rainbow rain falling out of it... but no lightning! Isn't that weird? I don't know what it means, unless it means that in a world where your health problems can all be solved by sticking your head in a ball, personal quirks and ambitions fall by the wayside! And I don't think that's what it means because that sounds too smart for me, but I don't have any better ideas. Do you?
I'll try flipping to a few random words I already wrote so I can see if you have any better ideas. Here we go:
]] sneaked ponies Pinkies friend getting different
Yeah, I know what you mean, Travel Log. But I don't think that's it, either.
World 6, Day 16
So! Rainbow managed to sell some brownball treatments while I was away by doing all kinds of aerial flips and things in slo-mo, and challenging everyone she saw to do the same tricks! None of them could do the tricks right, though, because the ball doesn't slow down falling, it just slows down moving and thinking. Rainbow and I both know how to fall slow but for different reasons―isn't that funny? So today we put our talents together and put on a Slo-Mo Spectacular. We did slow skateboard tricks in a palace archway, did a slow motion quiz show where the player who gave the slowest answer was the winner, and sang a song that took about sixteen minutes about how the slow life was the happy life, and that was basically all the lyrics in the song! Usually I can't sing a song about something I don't really believe in, but somehow, with Rainbow there? I kind of meant it. I was having so much fun being slow with Rainbow that I forgot that speed is life. Maybe fast speed is life, but slow speed is life, too!
Anyway, we were having so much fun that we sold dozens of brownball treatments, or as I called them, "Ball Emergences". When we paid off Clear Horizon, we had enough money left to buy a bunch more food and clothes and stuff, so now we're set for weeks! And with our DOOHICKEY calibrating which way we go, we're finally ready to zip through a whole bunch of worlds at once!
We just got to a new world where Canterlot was even weirder, so we decided to go to the Everfree Forest and see Zecora in case she has a way to cure Rarity. Now we're taking a rest in a little stone garden at the edge of the forest. It's neat someone decided to put this here! And it's neat we're about to see Zecora! And if this Zecora doesn't have the answer, maybe the next one will! I'm so excited I could step on a pomelo! But I won't. Why would I want to do that?
With best wishes to Other-me, her family, and her one yellow balloon,
Fvrther int0 World6, Lgter onDay 16
So ,the Everfree Forest is worrze her e than at home. I gves if the worlbs we're going thrugh areh ealthier and hea1thier, all the unheal thy stuff hasto hve somewhere to hide! I wish I'd thou9ht of that before we went in here andI got half turmed tostone by a cockatr ice! Dash managed to kic kit with her eyes clo5ed and it flew off, so she's f|ne, butmy tail is fr ozen in thisrealy weird curl off tothe siqe, and my back legsare frosen too and so is theback part 0f my t0rso and Im kind of woried what'll happen if Ieat anything. So if thi$ writing lo0ks meszy, it's becase I'nn half stone and I'm r1ding om Dash's back! Hopefnlly this path is saf3r andwe'1l reach Zec0ras hut soom.
World 9, Day 17, much better thanks
Okay, so, Zecora didn't have an antidote for a cockatrice gaze, so she told me we'd have to go back to Princess Celestia for help. But when we told her about our Interdimensional Transit Doohickey 3.0, she got all wide-eyed and suggested that maybe the next Zecora we met might know something. She gave us a little fancy broken piece of a brooch with a face on it and said we could show it to any other her and they'd know we were for real because it's something she made when she was really young. I asked her, wouldn't she miss it? But she said since it was broken anyway, she'd be able to remember her memories just fine with only half. Or something like that. Zecora is kind of tricky to translate sometimes, so you kinda just have to go with the flow.
And we did! We flowed from outside her hut into World 7, and then we knocked and we met this really scary Zecora, whose mane was all -WAAUAUUGGH- and whose neck rings had spines on them! And the masks in her hut were all even scarier than usual. So I was gonna excuse myself, but Dash was brave and introduced us and showed her the broken brooch, and she frowned at my stony backside and told me we'd better quickly take our leave, or else we'd soon have cause to grieve! So we recalibrated real quick and then we left for World 8.
Only I think Dash recalibrated too fast, because the next Zecora we met was wearing a black dress instead of neck rings, and she talked in a really snerky voice, and she didn't even rhyme! And instead of masks and potions and herbs and cauldrons, her hut was filled with scrolls and insects. Mostly dead insects. I guess she was an insectologist or whatever. Dash asked her why she doesn't talk in rhyme, and she said that was a curse that got put on her a long time ago, but they have cures for that sort of thing nowadays. So I figured we were getting close! But she didn't know anything about cures or medicine personally, so we calibrated again while trying to ignore all the buzzing insects, and it was on to World 9!
Then the next Zecora was all friendly and happy to see us, and her hut was a lot friendlier than the real Zecora's. There are still neat designs on everything, but there are a lot more circles, and circles are one of the friendliest shapes! And her masks are all smiley and nice and not scary at all.
Anyway, she saw my ultra-hemorrhoids and said she knew how to fix it if I could stay overnight. And I said sure, why not! So she put me in a sandbox and covered my back half with gray clay that matches the stone, and poured a whole bunch of some red potion over it until it seeped all through the clay, and while she was doing that she asked us questions. Like, was Dash done with her quest already? Dash gave her a weird look and said, no, she wasn't done, and that's why we'd come to see Zecora! It was confusing for a while. But we worked it out! Based on what Zecora-9 heard from Rainbow-9, here's our best guess. The Rainbow Dash back in World 2, where Twilight and Luna invented the Doohickey, somehow heard about us being there and went to Canterlot to investigate! And then she heard about how Rarity'd been hit with a nasty curse, and she heard about the Doohickey, and she went up to Celestia and insisted that she be allowed to go out questing too, because she cared about Rarity being okay even if it was a Rarity from two worlds away! So eventually Celestia had Twilight and Luna make a brand new doohickey and let Rainbow Dash go, and I can only assume she had to sign a bunch more paperwork. So Rainbow-2 found her way here to World 9, and she convinced Rainbow-9 to join her! So Rainbow-9 said goodbye to everyone and then went off, and that's why when Zecora saw Rainbow Dash at her door, she thought it was her own Rainbow, back from the quest! Does all that make sense? I'll flip to a random page and an odd number means yes.
Okay good. So then in the morning, we had salad for breakfast! Is that even allowed? Back home salad is a lunch thing, but I guess when you travel the spans of the multiverse, ANYTHING goes! Wo-o-0-oO-o. Then we saw it had snowed outside! I guess winter starts when it wants in the Everfree Forest! So we went outside and I sat down in the snow and Zecora carved away the stone to see if the potion soaked in enough to make my real heiney change back... and it DID! I shook my groovy booty until all the chips of rock fell away, and then I did my morning workout and now we're ready to move on. Zecora pointed out that since Dash-2 and Dash-9 are looking for the same thing we are, and they have the same machine we have, they should be going in the same direction. Except they don't have the calibrator that Luna-3 built us! Or Do They? We don't know. So we may run into them, or we may not! Either way, this Zecora doesn't know how to cure a gem curse, so it's World 10 Ho!
Zecora told me that you don't need to sign a travel log entry like you sign a letter, but I think I'll sign off one last time, anyway,
World 11, Day 18
Time to scribble a note, in case you get jealous of all these other books! First off, World 10's Zecora had a whole thick book full of ways to cure curses, so she looked up the one that sits on a gem buried underground and makes you go colorblind and then for-real blind and makes your magic give you a headache if you're a unicorn and also makes your joints all creaky. She didn't find anything, though, so when we explained everything to her, she suggested that we move on one more world in the same direction, and maybe that would do it. So we did! And that Zecora had tons of questions for us, 'cause she'd heard some out of town Rainbow Dash clones had come by, so we guessed we'd come the right way! She suggested that we go to the Royal Canterlot Library, so that's what we did!
And meanwhile, Zecora sent a message to Twilight Sparkle to come meet us here. That's good, because I'm sooo confused by this library! I don't get how B6H comes after B4H but FW748 comes after FW 76! Is a 6 bigger than a 4, or not? Or does 'B4' just always come before? If so, it'll take a Twilight to tease the twisty truth out of this terrible tower. (I hope it doesn't hurt when I alliterate. No? Goodie!)
World 11, Day 19
Travel Log, this whole business is just Cray-Cray!
Princess Celestia sent some guards to interrogate us last night. But they were nice guards and it was a nice interrogation. I've seen much worse. I've given much worse! We told them all about what we're doing and they brought us some food and some dessert and even though we had to eat it in the basement breakroom it still made the library feel a lot more homey. And in the end they let us go, and if you ask me, that's one of the key ingredients that turns a good interrogation into a great interrogation!
Then Twilight came in and Rainbow Dash came in and then Rainbow Dash came in. And that was confusing because I was like, didn't Rainbow Dash just come in? And don't we already have one? That's when Rainbow Dash came in and at that point, I basically gave up trying to make sense out of it and suggested a party instead! But the four Rainbow Dashes didn't want to have a party. They started comparing notes instead, and Twilight asked if she could see my Doohickey Calibrator Window, and I said sure! But it turns out that by 'see', what she really meant was 'study for hours under a microscope while writing constantly and grunting a lot'! So she did that, and then she went off to make new ones! And meanwhile, Rainbow-2 and Rainbow-0 and Rainbow-9 and Rainbow-11 all got done comparing theories and went off to play Four Square. And I was left with the guards and I didn't know what to do, so I started interrogating them just for fun! It turns out they have all kinds of interesting hobbies and families and dreams and things, and they just have to pretend not to when they join the Royal Guard. Which is pretty sad, but it's also pretty uplifting, so eh!
Then the librarian showed up and we went on an EPIC LIBRARY ADVENTURE. We went through six sections and four ladders and two dusty card catalogs and one non-dusty card catalog and like three archival rooms and a staff breakroom and a whole lot of books and scrolls until at the end of the day, we finally found a book with tiny tiny print, and on page 2,381 of the tiny tiny print, it has a description of the EXACT curse that's hurting Rarity, and right underneath that, in equally tiny tiny print, is:
We found the cure! Aren't you happy, travel log? I'm gonna throw you in the air with glee now, but I'll do it gently so I don't weaken your spine. Ready?
There. Now you're happy too! And check out how easy it is!
"Mix two parts of the hope of a newborn manticore, one part lye, five parts sweet revenge, three parts dew from the most beautiful flower in the field atop Neighagra Falls on the morning of the new moon, and an onion ring. Melt them in a dragon's flame, simmer them in a hydra's belly, and freeze them with the gaze of a cockatrice. Clasp your claws over it and say "For that all should be well and thy life be free" a thousand times, then polish it with your kisses until it shines like a diamond. Set it in a ring of silver and pass it over the casing of the accursed gem while chanting "Acubna rey Lapasti norr yintutu lof" over and over and over until its magic thrums. Then just add a spark of magic, and the curse will be lifted! (The onion ring is optional.)"
So, like I was saying, not easy at all! WORST. CURE. EVER. I don't even know if this counts as a cure because it's so ridiculous. All the other cures in this book are pretty much just as ridiculous, so I call this a RIDICULOUS BOOK! And coming from me, that's saying something! (Because sometimes people say I'm ridiculous. Not because I'm a book. YOU'RE a book!)
So I'm just kind of at my wits' end because I was hoping for something easier like "Jump up and down three times and clap your hooves!" But I guess an epic library adventure wouldn't be complete without an ep
WHAT DO I DO What do I DOo?
World 11, Night 19
Rainbow Dash came back to the library last night, peeved that she lost the Four Square Tournament to Rainbow-9. I sang her some quiet songs until the librarian hushed us, so then we got a room at an inn and played a really quiet, slow bouncy ball game in the alley until she was calm. Then we sat in our room and talked about what to do.
I guess the other Rainbows are on the same quest we are, so we're gonna have to get together with them today if they don't leave first. I'm getting a little worried about this whole schmaboodle. If Rainbows are just naturally eager to go on brave quests, we could end up curing Rarity, but losing all our Rainbows! I made my Rainbow promise she would never ever leave me, but she got coy and said "Never ever ever?" and I said "Never ever ever ever" and she said "Never ever ever ever ever?" and I stood strong and said "Never ever ever ever ever ever!" We went on like that for a while and I'm honestly not sure what we accomplished.
Then we went to sleep, and I woke up at dark o'clock in the morning and now I can't sleep. I'm wondering about so many things. I'm a party pony. I entertain. I tell jokes! What if jokes are all I do? What if the very idea of me going on a serious quest to do something serious for a friend is really just another joke? I don't want it to be a joke, but what if I haven't got a choice? I dreamed that I was saying a eulogy at Rarity's funeral, and I kept making jokes by mistake, and everyone kept laughing! And I wanted to cry and pull down all the curtains and shout "IT'S NOT A JOKE I'M SERIOUS SHE WAS MY FRIEND I'M IN PAIN", but I knew they would just think it was hilarious and laugh even more. So instead I stood there, afraid to do or say a single thing... and there was just silence.
World 11, Day 20
When Dash got up and the sun was shining I felt a little better. And when I got some pancakes in me my betterness multiplied. I didn't tell Dash my dream, but who am I kidding, she's going to steal this diary eventually anyway! But then, will she read it? You know what? I bet she won't! She's the element of Loyalty! She'd never ever ever ever ever ever ever read somepony else's private oops I just remembered this isn't a diary, it's a travel log. I guess probably she will read it, since there's no rule against reading travel logs. No offense meant!
But anyway, we got together with all the other Rainbow Dashes and with Twilight Sparkle and Spike. The Dashes wanted to meet on a cloud, but clouds are hard to walk on so we compromised and ate in a Canterlot restaurant that's decorated like a cloud. Now and then they change the lights so it looks stormy and then they make magical thunder and the lights all flash. I kind of liked it because it made me feel like an evil enchantress, getting all sorts of things together for a sinister brew! Because that's kind of what we were talking about, aside from the sinister part or the brew part.
With Twilight in charge and Spike taking notes, we talked about the cure I found in the ridiculous book and made a whole long list of all the things that were wrong with it. It had things like:
* How do you get enough dew from one flower to make it count as three parts? Maybe the parts are really small, but then the whole thing has to be really small, and how can you cram an onion ring in?
* Who decides which flower is the most beautiful, and what if someone else says No, this flower is the most beautiful!?
* How do you harvest hope from a baby manticore anyway, and isn't that a terrible thing to do? I wouldn't want to leave a baby without hope!
* How am I supposed to clasp my claws if I don't have any claws? Am I supposed to rent some?
* How are we supposed to get our slurry into a hydra's belly and more importantly, how do we get it out again?
* How many kisses does it take to get to the center of a magical combopop?
And that wasn't even the half of it. We all agreed that this cure is ridiculous and some of the Rainbows should go on to other worlds and look for better ones. My Rainbow and I haven't decided what to do yet. I feel like it was hard enough finding this cure that maybe looking for better ones is asking for trouble! But then again, maybe that's because this world isn't curey enough, and if we just go two or three worlds further in a curey direction, we'll get some simple instructions like a sing-along-song and everyone else working on this cure will feel really silly! I guess we should probably try and go a little further, but I'm worried too about how all these Rainbows are gonna find their way home! How are we gonna find our way home?
When I have this much to worry about, I start to shiver and shake and overload. But I think writing all this down has helped a lot. I hope you don't mind my spazzy mouthwriting.
We'll talk more in the morning.
World 14, Day 22
I'm feeling brighter today, but that isn't necessarily better! This whole thing has me kind of dizzy with brightness. We went to the next curier world (where it's winter now) and went through a whole rigamarole at the Royal Library again and this time the guards kept us waiting for hours and they almost confiscated our Doohickey until we threatened to leave, which I guess would have been embarrassing for them. So finally after three hours we found another even bigger book with even smaller print with an even―I kid you not―more ridiculous cure. It had things like the square root of a bagel and the fifty-eight thousandth word spoken by a lighthearted foal and water from a clean lake that no one ever swimmed in before and the drawstring from a good-looking pair of capri pants and all sorts of other nonsense stuff. So we sighed and said thanks and recalibrated and went on to the next world.
And I know you can't believe it, but that one was even worse! The library was like twenty percent brighter, like a hospital, and the archivist was actually called Madame Curie, and she showed us to this whole curing wing of the library that totally creeped me out, because I looked at the tiny little labels on the shelves up close, and they were just
they were just endless things that can go wrong with someone. Like, "fifth radial ulnar nerve goes kablooey" or "primary shaft of semniotic blood vessel turns inside out" or "terminal and catastrophic nostril failure" and so on like that, and after a few of those I was afraid to look at any more. So we walked and searched until we found the right book out of a whole shelf of gem cures, but this time it was sooo specific about the symptoms that the cure was almost half a page long, which is insane if you see how small the print is, and it just kept repeating itself, like:
"...put the petal extract into the solution of three parts extract of cineraria petals two parts bromine and mix well with the extract of two parts bromine one part mixture of five parts bromine seven parts cineraria petals cut evenly with mixture four parts canary feather three parts water six parts limestone three parts mixture of two mixtures one made half and half canary feathers and cineraria petals one half bromine half water half limestone mixed with thirty percent mixture five parts canary feathers four parts bromine two parts cineraria petals..."
ON and ON and ON like that forever until it reached the end of forever. Which was almost half a page. Of really really tiny print. For half a page long, almost. OH CELESTIA I'm doing it too now!
Okay. Okay. I'm okay. NO STOP REPEATING WORDS I'm fine. I am good. This pony who is me currently feels hunky dory. Good. So anyway. Rainbow told me "I can't believe I'm saying this, but the cure with the baby manticore hope is starting not to look so bad." And I hugged her because I was thinking the same thing.
So we went outside and recalibrated our doohickey, only this time for the first time, we wanted to go back to the last world we came from. So far, we've only been going forward. But now we've come too far. So we did our best to make the picture in the window look like we thought it did two jumps earlier. Except we couldn't remember exactly what it looked like and we argued about it. We just knew it had a cross and a sunrise, or maybe a sunset, but not how much of the sun was showing or whether there were chains or grass or anything.
So eventually we just tried jumping, but, well, it didn't work. Because as soon as we got our bearings, we saw that everything around us—the buildings, the trees, the walls—was super safe. It was all rounded and squishy and soft, like we were all a bunch of foals, even though everyone we saw was a grown-up! Pretty much everyone in Canterlot here is wearing life vests. And knee pads. Some ponies are walking around in puffy body suits. You couldn't get a concussion around here if you tried!
We couldn't even get a room at an inn, because whenever we get close to someone, they see how much bumpy lumpy stuff we have in our bags and that we're not wearing any padding at all, and they get scared! They would probably run us out of town except running is so dangerous. So eventually, Dash and I decided we'd sleep outside, because in a place this safe, what's the worst that could happen? Right?
WRONG. No wait, I mean right. So far. It's morning and nothing bad has happened. Yet. THINGS COULD NOT POSSIBLY GET WORSE. I mean, not because they're particularly bad already, but just... you know. It's a safe place. I'm sure nothing bad will happen.
World 18, Day 23
I think I piled on enough reverse psychology that the world decided not to punish me after all! We actually had a really boring morning yesterday. We tried to get some waffles for breakfast, but I guess waffle irons are too scary, since at the Eatery they didn't even know what they were. Dash asked about eggs, but the only way they cook eggs is this weird way that makes them into puffy lumps with the yellow on the outside and the white on the inside. I guess it's safer that way, or something. Anyway, we ended up just getting oatmeal. And no, I'm not crazy! Except compared to those ponies! Those ponies are so sane that they probably are crazy! And if you understand what I mean, travel log, you're probably a little crazy by now too. Sorry about that!
We got our stuff together and tried again with the recalibration. Our next try got us to a snow-covered world where Canterlot was kind of icky and smudgy like it was all one big living building that used to be a lot of buildings that flowed together. Ponies were going in and out the doors and windows, but it was all moving slowly, and I didn't really feel comfy with that.
So next we made the sun and crossbars really simple, and this time we wound up in a pretty normal-looking Canterlot, and we decided to see if either of the Princesses would help us! When we got to the palace, there was a huge appointment book for each princess with all her appointments, and you could fill one in if you wanted to. Princess Celestia's book was sooooo full that even though the book was so huge that turning the pages was hard, we had to turn like seven pages just to see the first blank spot. And Princess Luna's book was so empty that it was really sad to see the lonely appointments just scattered here and there, and they were all really boring stuff like "Royal Carpet Cleaning" and "Meeting with Finance Minister (business, not personal)" and "Silent Morris Dance of the Night". Well actually that one sounded kind of interesting, but if it's silent, how unlonely could it be?
So Dash and I looked at each other. She wanted to just leave because this Luna was probably pretty peeved. But I kept thinking of the Luna from World 3 and felt bad for her, so I started filling in all the appointments. "Funtime with Pinkie", "Play with Pinkie", "Party with Pinkie Pie", "Pinkie and Rainbow love Luna", "The Rainbow Dash Boasting Hour", "Reading with Rainbow", "Puppets with Pinkie", "Collage Nation with Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie", "Pinkie and Rainbow do Canterlot Palace", "Pie Day Astronomy Club", "Rainbow Dash Presents", and so on like that. But Rainbow saw what I was doing and tried to drag me away by my tail. I kept filling in appointments and shouting about how lonely Luna must be, and she kept telling me to forget it and asking how we were gonna find enough magazines for all those collages, and eventually some Lunar Guards showed up and banished us from the palace.
Fortunately, they didn't banish us to a dungeon in the place they banished us to, so we decided to go visit Twilight Sparkle instead. We tried her parents' house first, and they told us she had a dorm room at Celestia's Academy for Gifted Unicorns, so we went there. Dash hid her wings under a tank top and I got a matching tank top and we both wore big ten gallon hats so we could tell anyone who asked that we were Gifted Unicorns too, and we just had our horns under our hats! If anyone asked what our gifts were, I was all ready to say how we were gifted with amazing fashion sense, but no one ever bothered to ask! Pooey.
So we knocked on Twilight's door but she wasn't home, so then we asked all her friends where she was, except that we didn't because she didn't apparently have any friends! Everyone just said that they didn't talk to her much and they didn't know when she might be back. So we went and borrowed a ping pong table from the student lounge and played that for a while until some unicorns came and joined us and we did a doubles game, and then they challenged us and beat us and won our ping pong table away. And then it was pretty boring until finally Twilight showed up, and we swarmed her and told her all about how we were on this interdimensional quest, but we could only go forward and not back because our calibrator window only worked one way, and she went through about seven stages of denial in one minute flat. Before too long, we'd convinced her she could write a paper about helping us out and totally get extra credit with Celestia, and for all we know it's true!
So we spent the night in Twilight's dorm, and she slept for a while and tinkered for a while, and she totally seemed to be tickled by the idea that in our world, we were friends with her! She kept pausing from her work to ask what kind of friend things we did, and when we told her about how we'd have parties or watch meteor showers or tame parasprites or be in fashion shows together, she'd giggle for half a minute before getting back to work! And when we told her about how she's soulmates with an apple farmer, she asked "Really?" and then when we said yes she laughed for so long I thought we were going to have to find a reset switch on her somewhere.
But she was a good worker! Dash made soda runs for Twilight and I used random objects in her room to create ambient background noise that was conducive to concentration, or anyway that's what she said! So by midmorning, she'd created a new second window on our doohickey, one that remembers the pictures that were on the first window! And it even remembers the ones we went to already! So if we wanted, Dash and I could probably go back all the way to World 3. But we had plans on World 13 instead, so we thanked her and said goodbye. And just before we left, Rainbow asked her where Spike was living these days, and Twilight said, "Spike who?" We looked at each other, but neither of us had the heart to tell her. So that was pretty sad.
But her new window worked! We made it back to World 13 and asked around about where all the Rainbow Dashes were, because it seemed awfully quiet in Canterlot-13 without them, which is weird, because Rainbow doesn't even live in Canterlot! Twilight-13 told us they all went on to some other world with more civilized manticores, or at least that was the theory. So we showed her the new addition her other self made, and Twilight goggled for a while and then got really sorry for Twilight-16. She started making plans to make an interdimensional device that she could use so that she could go visit her, and we thought that was a great idea! I really really doubt it's gonna set off a cataclysmic chain of technological sprawl that leads to Twilight Sparkle becoming an additional unstable element throughout the multiverse. I don't even know what 'cataclysmic' means!
Well, we tried getting a picture of a manticore in our doohickey's display, but the best we could do was a lion's face in the sun. So we went with that, but we showed up in a Canterlot where half the buildings had had their roofs knocked off, and the sun was swirling around and around all over the sky, and now and then it would swoop down really big at someone, and Celestia was just standing there on a balcony laughing. So we left that place pretty quick.
Luckily, we got it right on the next try! Canterlot was pretty normal, and when we met some locals in a juice bar and talked them into playing a word association game with us and said "manticore", they said "dignified" and "honorable", so that's how we knew we were in the right place! The other way we knew we were in the right place was because everyone who saw Rainbow Dash either cringed or stared in wonder or looked confused! Eventually we asked whether they'd seen her around anywhere else recently. And one stallion said he'd seen her fly out over the Everfree, and Dash grabbed him and demanded to know where she'd gone, and whether he thought she could catch herself. He looked really confused, so I tried to lighten the mood by showing them both how you can use a net and a seesaw to catch yourself, and then we went off into the forest, questing for Rainbow Dashes. I love it when things get weird!
The Everfree Forest is still pretty scary here, but I guess the manticores are its sacred guardians, because we didn't get in too much danger, and when a snake slithered out to try and bite us, a manticore showed up out of nowhere and grabbed it! The manticore gave the snake a little speech and then flung it away. It didn't talk in our language, but it was pretty cool anyway. We used sign language to ask where the other Rainbow Dashes had gone, and it offered to give us a ride on its back!
So we rode our new manticore friend until we got to camp, and Rainbows-2, -9 and -11 were all there, along with another Rainbow and a Pinkie Pie from who-knows-where! They welcomed us to Cure HQ, which is what they call the place! I asked if it stands for Holy Quetzels! Apparently it actually stood for Head Quarters, but that's a weird name because who would want their head in quarters, and anyway after I said Holy Quetzals the other Pinkie talked all the Rainbows into changing its name into that instead.
So now I'm about to go to sleep here at Cure Holy Quetzals in World 18, and it's been a long day so I'm really really sleepy, but I'm totally looking forward to all kinds of fun and adventure in the Everfrxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
World 18, Day 24
Well that was weird! Usually if I fall asleep writing I get a bunch of z's, but I guess I slept funny last night! X must be next to Z somehow. Anyway I slept pretty well and we had a quick breakfast made out of trails or something, but it tasted really good and had dates and chocolate in it so I'm not complaining. Today we worked out jobs for everypony. One big question was whether we should go looking for other Dashes and Pinkies to help us out. And I don't know where I stand!
On the one hoof, it'd be nice to have help, in case we do something the hard way and somepony else finds an easy way. It'd sure be nice to have somepony show up and wave their hooves and say "It's a breeze, guys!" But that's just wishful thinking and I learned right after my very first party and my very first cake that wishful thinking isn't enough—sometimes you have to make your wishes happen! But then on the other hoof, it's reeeeeally easy to imagine how this might get out of control, with nopony remembering where they came from or knowing how to go back or even wanting to go back. But then on the third hoof, Pinkie-A and Rainbow-A came from a totally different world that none of the rest of us have been to! They told us about how they got their own machines from a Twilight Sparkle who was visited by a different Pinkie Pie! So one way or another, things are already out of control! Maybe they were out of control before we even started trying to control them in the first place! But then on the fourth hoof... well we need to stand on that one so I'll leave it there. For now.
Dash and I didn't want to go stirring up happy Dashes and Pinkies, though, so we volunteered to find some of the stuff for this cure. Which is crazy. But I've done crazier stuff, so at noon or so we set off for... guess where?
]] book nice tagteam lumpy smashed
Well I didn't say we were that crazy. No silly—Neighagra Falls!
That's right! Dash always wanted to go see the most famous falls in the world, but she's never been there and neither have I! Our job is to find the most beautiful flower there and harvest dew from it on the morning of the new moon, which is in four days. Luckily winter isn't scheduled to start here until the day after the full moon and they still have autumn flowers and I think we have juuuuuuuuust enough time to get there and still get a good night's sleep every night. But our second job is one that we didn't tell the others. I'll tell you but only really quiet, so don't rustle your pages or someone might hear.
it's to fall in love
Don't act so surprised! You know I'm supposed to fall in love with Rainbow, right? Back home, Fluttershy fell in love with Rarity, so now all our best friends are coupled up, and in the other worlds in the windows they were coupled up every single which way except for us! So it's clearly our destiny. That's why we took the Neighagra Falls job. A long flight to a huge waterfall waay in the north? What's more romantic than that? If a whole bunch of falling water doesn't make us fall for each other, I don't know what will! I mean, that's why they call it 'falling in love', right?
Still World 18, Day 25
I love my little chariot
All made of wood and iron
I like to stand up tall in it
and act like I'm a siren.
Its walls are sized just right for me
as lands below I spy on
And yet my little chariot's
not what I've got my eye on.
Oh, book. Things are so simple for you, aren't they? You just have to find a nice dresser drawer to sit in or a couple of nice old books on a bookcase to nestle between, and you're happy. We ponies are so strange!
We're in these mountains called the Foal Mountains, which is a weird name, because there aren't any foals up so high and it's not like these mountains are foals of some other, higher mountains. Because I would see those, unless they moved really far away! No, I bet it's some kind of pun. A lot of places seem to be named for puns.
We slept in a crag last night—that's like a crack, but rockier. We made ours nice and soft with straw and dead grass we found lying around, because we were juuust at the top of the vegetable line, which is where vegetables stop growing. I think probably some of the straw used to belong to an eagle or something, but its nest got all scattered without anypony to take care of it. Poor eagle! At least some of the straw got to be useful again.
Since we were so crowded in our craggy crack, I decided it was time to Make My Move. (MMM!) Dash was done with her stretches and I was done rolling over to the left and rolling over to the right, so we were quiet for a while. That's when I reeeached my hoof out and tapped Dash on the far shoulder, so she wouldn't know it was me.
She looked over, but it wasn't long before she worked out that it had to be me who touched her, because it wasn't her and there were only two of us. So she made a question face that turned into a scolding face... and then I smiled. I thought she would smile back, but instead she just stared, and every second it was like she understood something new, and every second it scared her more! So I leaned forward and tried to hold her close, but she pushed me away. "Pinkie, I'm not ready for this," she said.
"Well, what've we got to do before you are ready?" I asked.
She got flustered and didn't know. I suggested maybe there was some big long recipe for being ready for love, just like the cure for Rarity's curse. But the more I described the imaginary recipe, the more she shook her head. "Pinkie," she said. "You can't just decide to fall in love. Either it happens or it doesn't!"
Travel log, I didn't know what to say! I was gobflustered. I would have suggested something else we could try—I could have suggested things we could try all day—but Rainbow didn't think trying was the way to do it at all! But I don't even know how to do something if you can't try it! If we were supposed to just let love happen, or not happen, then how would we ever know if it was going to happen, and what would we do in the meantime?
It made me sad and I lay down in my dry straw and cried a little. And Rainbow went out into the mountains, but she didn't do any flying, and after a while I felt her lie down next to me and give me a hug. You know the weirdest thing? That just made me cry more!
I guess we fell asleep, because everything after that was probably a dream. When we woke up, I was on my back with all my legs up, and Rainbow was sprawled across my belly. She started to get up, but I told her Wait. When she breathed, and I breathed just after, it felt like one long breath, rising and falling forever. It was like I was purring, even though I'm not a cat! She humored me for a little while, but then she got up and now she doesn't want to talk to me! I just don't know what's going through her head.
I wonder what she dreamed about.
Dash was really quiet today. At first I thought that was bad, but then she started talking really quietly about when she was a filly in Cloudsdale, and about how her friends all had sisters and brothers and she was an only child. I didn't know why she was telling me all that, but I listened and asked a few questions. Her dad made her go out for sports really young. At first—at very first, she didn't want to do it. She had toys she wanted to play with instead. But after her first Junior Lightning Ball game, she was hooked, and from then on she did whatever her dad wanted her to. She didn't play with her toys very much from then on.
It wasn't a sad story, because I knew how it turned out—it turned out with the Rainbow Dash I know and maybe almost love! But somehow, it made me sad anyway. I don't know how that happened!
Anyway, it wasn't like there was a whole lot else to do during breakfast or while we were flying, so I started talking too. I told Dash all about the old rock farm, even the stuff I try not to remember. I tried to leave out the boring parts, except most of it was boring parts! The ploughing, the rock rotations, the field rotations, the bedtime lessons, the time-outs, the flat faces. Once you take all that away, there wasn't that much left! But there were some neat things, too. Watching Dad cut open the geodes, and that time I got to do it myself for the first time! Riding on the cart to market with Mom and my sisters. Getting candied apples instead of regular ones for a while after the harvest sold. And after my family started to soften up to the way I was, they even let me throw parties now and then! Those were some of the best parties I ever threw, because they were so new! Nowadays any party I throw has one or two new wonderful things, which is fun enough, but back then, EVERYTHING about them was new! It was like eating a fruity cake so full of fruit that every bite is the best bite!
When I'm riding in the chariot, I can't see Rainbow's expression. I mean I can't see the one on her face, except her ears. But the rest of a pony has expressions too! So I watch the way her wings twitch and her rump bumps and her tail flails and her ears veer, and that tells me whether she's really listening or not. At first, I could tell my stories about rocks and things were boring her. But as the day went on, she started to care! I could tell even without all the questions she started asking. Of course, her first question was why anyone would even bother to farm rocks in the first place, when you can go outside and they're right there! I always laugh when someone asks that question, because at first it seems like a good question but then when I explain the answer they feel silly because it was so obvious! Rainbow felt silly, but she was a good sport and laughed about it, and that made me happy.
I think maybe Rainbow was right. Maybe you don't choose to fall in love. But that doesn't mean it just happens either. I mean, it's not like baking a cake. You don't just put the ingredients in the oven and wait for love to pop out. But maybe it's like thinking up a new recipe idea! You know you want something with figs and donut bits, but you can't think about how to fit them together, and you squash and squelch it around in your head until -ping!- Instead of donut bits, why not cake? So then you have fruit and cake and suddenly it all comes together. What I'm saying is that maybe love is like that.
Welp, we reached Neighagra Falls! And it's a beaut! It's a beautifalls! The water is always falling and always splashing and it doesn't stop to sleep ever. Dash and I stood by the bottom for a while and watched to see if it ever goes up instead of going down all the time. I figured maybe it only would if nopony was looking, so I tried looking off to the side for a while, and then suddenly snapping my head back! But I never caught it rising!
Dash got bored of that before I did and went off to look for the field of flowers above the falls. She came back and found me lying there pretending to be asleep so the water would think I wasn't paying attention. She made me wake up and carried me up to the top, and travel log, it was so beautiful! There were so many autumn flowers, and there was a mist over them from the waterfall that made the whole field feel like magic. The flowers came in, like, four colors! And not the same colors, either, but different ones! I know flowers can come in a lot more than four colors, but I was expecting them to be only one color, and if they'd been all the colors it would have just felt like I was at a rainbow crash site. But these colors were really nice. There was:
* Light indigo
* Dark blue
And that about covers it! But then I realized we had a major problem. The flowers were really beautiful all together, but we need just one flower—the most beautiful flower! We need three parts of dew from it. If the most beautiful thing about these flowers is how nice the colors all look together, how are we supposed to tell which flower is the most beautiful on its own? Its beauty will get lost in all the beauty from all the flowers working together! And now I'm supposed to pick just one of those flowers and tell them they they worked the hardest and the best? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT
Dash suggested that maybe we need help. So she's going to see if she can find some other ponies to help us. There are some tourists here, and a museum, and some park rangers, so maybe some of them can help us! You know what? I'd better go to the museum before it closes and see whether they have directions to the most beautiful flower in the field, just in case. Because if they do, I'll feel pretty silly if we get dew from the wrong flower and only find out afterwards. Be seeing you!
Day 28, World 18
Wait until you read this, travel log! Morning was even mistier than afternoon or evening was! I thought the field over the falls was beautiful before, but it was AMAZING in the morning. I woke up in the middle of the night and the sky was beautiful with mist but there was no sign of the moon at all. If I didn't know better, I'd think once a month Luna decides to take a break and doesn't bother raising the moon at all! But I learned my schooling. I know that she does raise it, but she keeps the glowing part turned away from the world so we can't see it. Why does she raise a moon we can't even see? Well, travel log, that's why SHE'S a princess and I'M a baker! I'm sure there's some sort of crazy reason.
I don't know if the new moon made the flowers more beautiful, but filly-oh-filly, it was GORGEOUS. Last night, while I was lying with Dash on the moss near the flowers, we talked about which color the most beautiful flower would probably be. I was hoping to rule out one or two colors. We both agreed it wouldn't be one of the dark blue ones, because blue is meant to be light, like the sky. But that's about as far as we got! The light indigo ones are sort of a special color—kind of rare in general, even if it's not rare here. But does that make them more beautiful? I kind of thought so, but Dash was a little scoffy and said that indigo was like the red-headed stepchild of the rainbow. I didn't understand that at all, but she doesn't really have any in her mane, so maybe it was a personal pride thing. I was almost afraid to suggest that maybe the most beautiful flower could be pink. Luckily, she brought it up! And she even hugged me when she said it, and in that moment my heart felt pinker than it had for a long time!
But then, in the morning mist, all that went out the window. Or maybe, since we were outdoors, it went in the window! Whichever way, it went were we weren't. Suddenly all the flowers had their own special beauty, and I couldn't even remember why I thought dark blue flowers couldn't be beautiful! It was just a sea of wild amazing beauty, and I really wished Rarity could have been there with us. I decided that if I ever see Rarity again, I'm going to take her to Neighara Falls for the morning of the new moon as a way of celebrating that she's there, and I'm there, and I'm sure Dash'll be there, and we'll get to hear all the wonderful words she'd use to describe the beauty of the flowers that I could only imagine.
I was just thinking that as I wandered through the flowers, but at the same time I was thinking that I might never see her again, because all the flowers were so beautiful I couldn't rule even one out as not being the most beautiful, and if we couldn't tell which flower was the most beautiful, we'd never get the dew we needed for the cure, or at least not until the next new moon in a month, and that could be too late! Then it really struck me how ironic it was—being surrounded by a sea of beauty could end up costing me the most beautiful friend I know. I took step after step wishing for the flowers or the mist to be less beautiful, praying and hoping that I'd turn a corner and see a dump, or a pile of old broken chairs, or even a rock, just to have something, anythingthat I could call ugly!
That's when I pushed through a tall clump of stems and saw, in front of me, peeking up through a little stand, a little light green flower with a little round head, just bobbing around in the breeze, and way smaller than most of the others. I went up to it and I wasn't even trying to smell anything, I just breathed in through my mouth and I smelled the green flower! It was like... the smell of clean. Not the smell of soap for cleaning, but the smell of never having to use soap in the first place because everything was already clean and always had been.
I stood and stared for a minute. Then I called Dash over, and she poked her head down and said "Whoa." We both knew right away it was the most beautiful flower. We didn't even have to search any longer. And it wasn't any of the colors we talked about at all!
So Dash got out her little glass vial, and we carefully poured the dew off the most beautiful flower, and we left a little in there just to make sure it was still beautiful. Then we capped the vial and set off toward town, because it was high time to find a restaurant and force them to throw us a party!
They were pretty good sports about it. We got most of the restaurant clapping along by the time our flower song was done.
Day 30, World 18
over the snowy clouds
writing on the floor of my sky chariot
it's made of wood but
i know there are more clouds under there
clouds would run out and be gone
if water didn't come to them.
Waterfalls forever but
water also rises!
Clouds are good to see because
they help me remember
Dashie Dashie your back is what i see, but
I know I'm in your eyes.
i'm not falling in love with Rainbow Dash.
i'm RISING in love.
Day 32, World 18
It was a long sweet trip back, and even though there wasn't much to do but watch the snow and think, weirdly it kind of made me forget our troubles. I wonder how that works! There was a lot of nice scenery, and even though Dash did like 99.9% of the flying, she didn't mind either. She said it was good exercise! So we got back to the Everfree Forest and showed up at Cure HQ, and...
And there were like fifteen ponies there! And they were all me and Dashie!
(I'm calling her Dashie now. Don't try and stop me!)
They all sprang up and said hi to us, and then they all started gabbling awkwardly about which ones we were and what they should say. It took us about half an hour, but we all got introduced and sorted out. Dash and I got numbertags! And do you know what they did? While we were away, the other Dashes and Pinkies went to a bunch of other worlds and met up with other Pinkies and Dashes and brought them back here! And they started giving out numbers that are totally different from the numbers I've been using! So now I'm almost completely confused. I'm tempted to make everyone wear a bow or a hat and call them things like "Greenbow Dash" or "Floppycap Pie".
And what's more, two of the other Pinkies and one of the Dashes have their own machines that they got invented for them by their own Twilights or Lunas or Purple Tinkers! And they have their own quests they're on! One Pinkie says her Rarity got hit with a curse from a gemstone she dug up, like ours. But the other one says she started her adventure because there was this big gremlin invasion and now tiny little gremlins live in all the machines and none of their machines work right, and she needs a spell to get rid of them! And the other Rainbow Dash (that I was calling Rainbow-A but now is Rainbow-2) is doing all this for Fluttershy, who got sick in the jungle when some insects stung her! So now we've got way more help but we have way more problems too! And I ask you, Travel Log: Ain't that the way?
(odd page means yes)
No? It's not the way? Huh. Well then I don't know what the way is!
Anyway, we're still working on the cure for the gem curse, and since that's my thing, I'm sticking to it. The group here made friends with the local manticores and they're staking out a pregnant manticore who's gonna pop out a minicore anytime now! They've been working on how to harvest hope from it. And another group went and got a silver ring for setting the whole mix into later. Yet another Rainbow Dash went and got a whole giant barrel full of onion rings, so we have way more than we need and we've been eating mainly those, which is why our camp smells like it does! Or maybe that's the lye. Anyway, we're making progress!
I mentioned how I got turned half to stone by a cockatrice, so now arranging to freeze a melted simmered mess of dew, hope, breaded fried onions and lye with the gaze of a cockatrice is MY job! I can't say it sounds like my dream job but I can't say it doesn't sound like my dream job! Besides, I think working in a bakery is already my dream job! So what am I complaining about?
This is a paper.
This is a pen.
This is an ink drop.
This is a sentence.
I am a pony.
Pony should pony pony.
(gasp) Pony does pony pony!
[detailed and dramatic drawing of a beetle sucking the juice out of a berry]
Day 33, World 21
We decided it would be easiest to get a cockatrice to freeze our thing without getting frozen ourselves if we went to a world where the cockatrices are friendlier! If there is any such place! So we did our best with the calibrator, but we couldn't get anything even sort of like a cockatrice to show up at all!
So instead we went kind of randomly in a friendly direction, and when we arrived the Everfree was all filled with dangling blue bell-shaped winter fruits! So I ate one. And then I got all cosmic and weird for a while and wandered all over the forest while Dash tried to hold me back, and I watched all the stuff going on in the trees and in the snow and in the plants and in the sky and I wrote a few weird things in you and drew a picture of a beetle for some reason and eventually I feel asleep and Dashie stood guard over me, which I wish I could have been there to see! Then I woke up feeling normal again and we gave the doohickey another try.
This time, the forest was all swampy and wet with black water, and you'd think that would have been even scarier, but somehow it wasn't! It was like having all that dark water out in the morning when there weren't any dangerous things around was like proof that the water was okay! It was like saying "I'm a swamp, come out and play with meee!" So we did!
Dash did a lot of low level flying and I hopped a bunch from log to branch to stone to stone. We didn't get attacked, so that was a good sign, but we couldn't be sure whether there were any cockatrices at all around, so we went looking for the only pony we knew could beat a cockatrice: Fluttershy.
It took us a while, but we got out of the woods and found her! She still lives in the same place, but her stream is a whole little half frozen river and instead of a cottage she's got a boathouse! When she came to the door she had a pair of water wings on top of her regular wings. THAT'S SO CUTE! She also had a waterproof hat that she put on when she came out to talk to us. We went through our whole introduction routine about being from another dimension and tried not to scare her too much, and I think we did okay cause I only heard a couple whimpers.
Then we asked her about cockatrices, and she said they were still formidable and not to be trifled with. Well, we said we didn't want to trifle with any cockatrices, but we did need to ask them a big favor, so she suggested that we just go one more itty bitty world further and helped us out with our calibrator to find it. We got the window to show a little pile of stones in front of a tree and that seemed good enough for Fluttershy, so we said goodbye and -ZOOP!- We were there.
And guess what! The new Fluttershy was already outside! She spotted us there appearing out of nowhere and was really shy at first about talking to us, but then she overcame her fear and we started to do her routine again, but she said, "Oh, I know." She told us about how her own Pinkie and Rainbow had already gone off on an adventure, because her own Rarity is dying too!
I didn't know what to say, but Dashie did—she gave her a hug and told her how we're doing the best we can to find a cure for our own Rarity, but we're working hard with a bunch of other interdimensional travelers to make sure everyone gets cured and everything works out all across the entire multiverse!
You don't think we're too ambitious, do you, travel log?
simple frozen rocking oatmeal eventually
Hmm. Well, travel log, that's just a risk we're going to have to take!
Night 33, World 21
We went out looking for cockatrices today, travel log. But we didn't find any. Fluttershy-21 says sometimes they're scared of us. "Why are they scared?" I asked. "They're scared we're going to make them into stone soup," she said. I don't think she was joking. Our own Fluttershy back home hardly ever tells jokes.
So how do we find all these friendly cockatrices? Well, just because they're not meanies who try to petrify everyone they meet doesn't mean they're glad-to-meet-you friendly! I knew a donkey back home who was friendly in a really subtle way. Instead of being smiley or nice or "I want to be your friend" friendly, he was more "I don't want to be your friend unless you solve the biggest mystery in my life and find my lost love for me and then okay fine I guess I'll be your friend except we can never have any parties" kind of friendly! That's so subtle I could understand if you thought he wasn't even friendly at all!
So I'm not going to sing any more songs in the forest like I did today. Fluttershy is going out with us tomorrow, and we're gonna find those cockytrices and make them promise to freeze our junk! But if they want something in exchange, that's fine with me. I'm totally prepared to go on a dozen sidequests if I have to. It's worth it for Rarity—all the Raritys! And the sick Fluttershys and gremlinated Ponyvilles and everyone else out there who needs our help!
And besides. The longer I spend out here having adventures with Dashie, the sooner we're sure to fall in love! Everyone knows adventures are the best for making love happen. I think that's because they make your heart beat faster. I can feel my heart beating now! I've told my heart that every time it beats, it should set aside one drop of blood for Dashie. I don't know what I'll do with all the extra blood, but I'm pretty sure I'll know when the time comes!
Day 34, World 21
i think i wasted the blood
Oh Travel log, I'm making a mess out of everything! They say adventures are good for love and maybe that's true but I slipped up and now I don't know who my heart is beating for!
We found the cockatrices. It was a long day and it took a lot of looking, but we found them. And they talk by hissing but they can draw pictures and Fluttershy seems to understand them and
I can't hide anything from you, travel log. I think I'm in love with her! I tried to fall in love with Dashie but I messed up. My nana once told me that the best way to fall in love is to throw your heart at the ground and miss, but I think I missed too far! Now Fluttershy is here and Dashie's gone off to get Rarity from Fillydelphia and I'll tell you, Travel Log, cockatrices aren't the only things she understands!
she hasn't kissed me yet but
Fluttershy-21 hearts Pinkie-21! But Pinkie-21 is gone! She went off for the silliest reason I ever heard—it's a reason so silly I can't even write it down without laughing for hours and hours. But I'd probably cry too because she left Fluttershy-21 all alone. And the Rainbow Dash here left too just last week, and this world's Rarity moved to Fillydelphia years ago to be a big designer, and they don't even know who Twilight Sparkle is, and and
and Fluttershy is so lonely. So lonely! She needs me to cheer her up. And do you know how much depth there is in her? THIS MUCH. [vertical arrow] At least! I haven't reached the bottom of her capacity to need cheering up. I bet a smile from her is worth at least 2.71828 smiles from anypony else! I could spend my whole day doing nothing but making Fluttershy happier, and I bet it would feel like a whole crowd of laughing ponies all cheering for me. When I make her breakfast it makes her light up! It's like waking up and seeing the sun all over again. I could make breakfast for Fluttershy ten times a day, except then she'd get fat, but I could make each one really really small with only the tiniest little pat of butter so she'd stay just the way she is, which is how I like her, except I think I don't just like her, I love her! Except I don't know if I really love her, Travel Log, but she needs me. And I'm such a silly Pinkie I can't tell the difference.
The cockatrices want to help but first they want to meet the mare they'd be doing it all for. And that seems totally reasonable, but we weren't sure we could even find our way back to the other worlds we came from and then back here, so Rainbow went off to get Rarity in the chariot, but I stayed behind because there's not room for two ponies in the chariot, and besides Rainbow is faster on her own. But I hope she comes back soon because I'm scared without her, I'm scared I'll fall completely into this hole with its bright shy smile and its megalumens of inner light and its little scampering animals all over the place and its pure, pure love. I'm drowning in Fluttershy!
And she doesn't want me to go. When it's time for Dashie to go back to Cure HQ and get things shaking, Fluttershy doesn't want me to go with her! She cried so many tears today and held me in such a trembling way that I don't know how I could go. But when Dashie comes back and asks me what I'm doing I just don't know—I don't know what I'll say!
I don't know what to do, Travel Log. If I had two of me I'd both stay and go, but no matter how many me's visit from other places, I don't really have them. I'll only ever have one me: myself. And even if I give myself up completely, I can't ever belong to two mares at once. Can I?
No, you're right, travel log. I can't.
Day 35, World 21
Thank heavens Applejack still lives here! Aside from the girls at the spa, she's Fluttershy's only friend. And Fluttershy needs friends! Just because someone is shy doesn't mean you leave them alone. That's when they need you more than ever! Unless maybe if they tell you to leave them alone. But even then, you keep your eye out for loneliness.
Applejack-21 knows all the right questions to ask. When she saw me, the first thing she asked was whether I was her Pinkie, or some alien Pinkie. "Alien!" I chirped. Then she invited me in and asked what I was looking for.
I told her all about Rarity's problems back home and how we've got a Happy Quiche on World 18. She thought about it and asked whether I meant a Headquarters, and I said yes! Applejack-21 is smart!
Then I told her how Fluttershy feels so lonely ever since the local Pinkie and Dashie left, and Applejack said she knows, and she feels lonely too, when she has time to. I didn't know loneliness was something you have to make time for. But Applejack says that hard work can shove any feelings to the back shelf, whether you want it to or not. Then I told her that I've been falling in love with Fluttershy, and that got her attention!
She asked me how I managed to fall in love so fast! I said I didn't know. Maybe it's how exciting everything was. She asked me whether I'd still love her after the excitement died down. I pulled my hair and said I didn't know!
She suggested that the three of us should have a quiet day and do something cooperative together while we're waiting for Dash to get back with Rarity. Usually I would have squealed "Party!" and been totally in favor, but somehow for some reason this time, it didn't feel quite right. I said okay anyway, though, and so Applejack and I invited Fluttershy to go shopping with us in the market.
So we did! Fluttershy was reluctant at first but once we were there she saw all sorts of things in the market she liked and she was glad we invited her. I got some more travel food and some refill confetti and a pop-up book I thought cockatrices would like. Applejack got some farm stuff and a new fancy cider mug with a bear's picture built right in! Then afterwards, we went back to Applejack's place and played Horseshoes in the snow. Applejack won but I had the best toss! And Fluttershy didn't win at all but she was so happy when she got a point that I just had to huggle-snug her!
We took her back to her cottage and I walked Applejack home. And on the way, I felt my feelings churning around inside me and I didn't know what they were doing! But Applejack knew the exact right time to ask how I felt, and at that exact moment I knew the answer. I told her: "I feel satisfied."
"Satisfied with what, sugar?" she asked.
"Satisfied with... with Fluttershy, I guess!" I said.
"Satisfied like you wanna spend the rest of your life with her, spending days like today? Or satisfied like you've gotten something out of your system?"
I thought about that for a while but somehow the first one didn't seem right. And Applejack told me she'd thought so. Wanting to spend all your days doing something is usually called being "content", not "satisfied", she said. And she said she's the luckiest pony she knows, because she managed to find contentment at such a young age. And I had to agree! Except that deep down I knew that I don't actually want to be content, because doing the same thing all the time is boring and it's more fun to always do new things and find new passions and have new adventures! I don't want to know what I'll want to be doing three weeks from now! I want to find out when it happens!
I didn't know it right then, but I think that's when the seed was planted. I'm not sure if Applejack planted the seed or if I did. Either way, it grew up in my stomach tall enough to tickle my heart, and then it had a conversation with my heart. And now my heart is telling me that Rainbow Dash is the only pony for me. I do love Fluttershy but she could never be my one true love, because she wants contentment, like Applejack, and I want adventure... like Rainbow Dash!
I still feel muddled and confused but I know when Dashie comes back it'll all come clear again. I'm on track to not be all muddled anymore and that's like a light shining through on the foliage in my innards, telling it which way to grow until it's not a mess anymore, and that thought makes me feel better already.
But what if Dashie never comes back?! Then what will I do?
Day 37, World 18
Good! I knew that would work. I just had to make it suspenseful! And sure enough, Dash came back yesterday with Rarity in a waaaay overstuffed chariot. They even built an extension to the chariot and things were still almost falling out! Anyway when they landed I was so glad to see Rarity healthy again (even if it's a different Rarity) that I ran up and hugged and kissed her all over. It's okay, though. There's a rule that kisses don't count as romance kisses if they take less than half a second each, and I timed myself!
We went inside and Fluttershy squeed and gave Rarity a hug and then Dash told us about how hard it was to convince Rarity to come back with her because she was in the middle of this big charity drive and she had to find somepony to take over and then she had to pack and then the chariot wasn't big enough so they had to have one of her set designers build an extra part and that's why Dash was away so long! But now they're back and we all went to visit the cockatrices.
Rarity was really nervous about it because I guess even if the cockatrices in this world are decent people, that doesn't mean everypony likes them. They still get put in storybooks as the bad meanies!
So when they came out and started swarming all over, Rarity quailed, or at least half quailed, and started gasping with fear, and it was a mess! Fear is contagious and Fluttershy is susceptible, so she ran and hid and I had to sing three songs before everyone was friends! I don't run into very many three-song snafus!
But eventually, the cockatrices asked Rarity a bunch of questions, and she answered, and she told them all about her glorious fashion triumphs in Fillydelphia, and with Sapphire Shores, and that one time she went to Canterlot, and Dash was all, "One time? Our Rarity goes there a bunch!" and Rarity-21 blushed and I could tell she was jealous. And then she told the cockatrices about all this charity stuff she's doing to help orphans and sick foals with only one parent, and they were impressed enough that they arranged a town hall meeting, except it was more like a bog ball meeting, because they all slithered into a big dome bulb thing made of mud in the middle of a half-frozen bog, and when they came out there were three of them who'd volunteered to be part of our cure!
So we shook claws with them and said thanks we'll be back, and then we went back and did the same thing with Rarity and Fluttershy! Except we bumped hooves instead of claws. I don't have any claws. But we're gonna have to get some at some point or we won't be able to finish the cure!
Well, I can let somepony else worry about that. We managed to get back to World 18 (after making a wrong turn and going back to the world with the flying angry sun, which was still flying only now there was a flying angry moon too!) and now we're back at Cure Half Quails with about half a dozen other Pinkies and Dashes. Dash and I told them everything we did, but we were both talking at the same time so I'm not sure how much got through. They made me step out for a while so they could talk to Dashie alone. They'll probably call me back in to talk later.
( yawn )
But I'm gonna trick them. I'm going to slzeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeee
Scootaloo came to visit the HQ today. I missed her because I was away with Pinkie-3 (not the real Pinkie-3, the fake one) kissing rocks to see if we could make them shine like diamonds. But I guess Scoots is worried about the local Rainbow and wishes she'd go back to the weather patrol and doing tricks. Well believe me, Scootaloo—she wishes that too! And so do I! But we've got a job to do, and we're not gonna rest until we've done it! Except for going shopping and playing Horseshoes, but that doesn't count because I had an excuse. Oh, and sleeping. And writing in books. But that doesn't count either because
No, it does count. It's true! I'm addicted to you, travel log! I can't stop writing entries! I know I have more important things to do, but I miss you! Your crinkly corners... your pages that are just thin enough to see the sun through.. your stalwart, sticky spine!
I wish I knew how to quit you, travel log! But I don't!
Wait. I know. I have a solution. Rarity-18 saw me writing in you and told me that 'travel log' is supposed to be just one word, spelled like:
I told her she was just being silly, but later I saw Cheerilee in town and asked her and she said Rarity was right! So maybe...
...maybe I'll just call you my travelogue from now on. I don't like the way that word looks. The way it has a silent 'ue' at the end makes it look like you're sticking your tongue out at me. And I'll wish you were still a log, because I like logs, especially rolling on them!
But for Rarity's sake, this has to be done. You're my travelogue now, and maybe I'll find a name like that easier to resist.
This hurts me more than it does you, my sweet logue.
-Your Pinkie Pal
What are all these Scootaloos doing here
Oh, world. Why you so wacky?
So guess what! The Interdimensional Madness Club has a new member—Scootaloo! You know her, right, travelogue? The Cutie Mark Crusader who can almost fly but not quite? It turns out some Scootaloo somewhere decided she missed her local Rainbow Dash and decided to chase after her! So she somehow got her own gizmowhatsit for zipping from world to world, and it was contagious too, and now we have Scootaloo Slip!
I dunno, travelogue. If things keep on like this, pretty soon everyone's gonna have to go around with a numbertag! And I'm sure there are other problems with mixing up all the ponies from all the worlds, even though right now I can't think of any. But I bet there are some!
This Emotional Cookbook says nothing about what flavor revenge is! THE ABSTRACT LIBRARY IN WORLD 1.32 IS USELESS.
Good news, travelogue! We finally took care of the hardest part of the cure! We found nice manticores and nice cockatrices, but I guess hydras are never nice because all the Rainbows and Pinkies and now Scootaloos out looking never found any! But today a team of Rainbows came back and said they found a world where they keep hydras in zoos! And since the zoo brochure has a picture of Princess Celestia on it, I guess it must be morally okay! So now we're just waiting for our little manticore baby to slip on out into the world, and then we're gonna move our HQ to World 2.15! And I don't know how the dot got into that world name so I'm just gonna call it by ordinary numbers instead.
Come on out, little flying scorpilion! The world is waiting! ALL the worlds are waiting for you! You may have big scary wings and a nasty stingy tail and sharp cutty claws, but I bet you're still gonna be a cutiepie, aren't you?
And believe me, little scorpilion. There's all sorts of stuff in the world, and that means there's PLENTY of hope. Not having hope is only for when EVERY door is closed and there's nothing left. But that's never been even kind of true, not so long as ponies have been around, and probably not even before that! And these days, more doors are open than ever!
THERE SHE IS!
Day 47, World 23
Woohoo! We're all moved over to the new place with this great big beautiful zoo in the great big beautiful city-I-never-went-to-before of Baltimare! I spent half an hour just running up and down all the streets and playing in the snow. I wish I could see this place in summer!
They're really big on tall things here. There are towers built up really tall and really tall trees with zip lines between them and a big spire and even ginormous signs that say what's playing at the theater. It's no wonder they have hydras in their zoo. They have giraffes too. And a giant panda. I mean a really giant panda. And there's this big wooden pole in the middle of the zoo that's just for vines and creepers to creep and spiral and grow up around. It's really nifty!
How could a little baby manticore born into a world like this not be filled with hope? Hopefully I'll never have to find out, because this one was! We had to wait a couple days for her to open her eyes, but even before that she was sniffing and mewling and waggling her tail all everywhere! And even though there was snow and ice everywhere when she saw the world for the first time, she peeped and rawred and snickered with amazement! And seven of the Rainbows did this air show for her where each one's trail was a different color, so I really hope manticores aren't colorblind!
Anyway, Zecora-21 came over and did this ritual with a mask and a cauldron where she made parboiled manticore soup and harvested half her hope. Everyone was really sad, because we could see how she wasn't as excited about life afterwards, but was kind of mopey instead, and her mom and dad cuddled her up tightly and went into their den. I sure hope she gets her hope back and turns out all right. But we got plenty of manticore hope to make lots of cures, and it's for a good cause!
We're finally all set to make the first batch of this insanely crazy cure! The local Spike and Twilight are here to help out, and there's a big crowd of Pinkies and Rainbows and Scootaloos milling around and getting everything in place, and now and then one of the Scootaloos with a flattop manecut is calling out "T minus however-many minutes!" where T means time and that means it's almost time to start!
I'm so excited I could doodle! I'm really glad this thing is finally happening in World 23 and on Day 47 of Dashie's and my quest. 23 and 47 are special numbers to me because they're like the most random numbers ever! If you ever needed some random number of something, chances are it was probably either 23 or 47! I guess that means they aren't really that random, but they seem random when you say them and when the chips are down that's really what counts, isn't it?
T minus hardly anything! Time for me to go do my part!
* Liquid manticore hope? CHECK.
* Lye? CHECK.
* Sweet revenge? CHECK. Rainbow-1.0 and Pinkie-1.5 took care of that! (The 1 before the dot means this numbering is Rainbow-1's idea, not mine. My numbers start with 4's, but I don't have numbers for these guys because I never went to their worlds!) They went and challenged Rainbow's arch nemeses, Hoops and Dumbbell, to a game of Epic Lightning Ball. And they won, which I guess was pretty sweet! Apparently sweet revenge looks like crunchy little yellow and white lightning bolts made of oats. Who knew?!
* Dew from the most beautiful flower on Neighagra Falls? CHECK! Thanks to yours truly and Dashie Truly! I guess since it's winter now there aren't any flowers left up there, so if someone went and planted just ONE flower they could probably be all set for the next new moon!
* Teeeny tiny little onion ring? CHECK! (so cute)
* Dragon's flame? CHECK! We've got Spike on our side!
* Hydra's belly? I dunno, I'd better CHECK! Just kidding! This was the hardest part, but we did it! We had to put the scorched little mess we got into a magic shell and trick a hydra into swallowing it, and then we had to make it toss its cookies again! And that's hard! By the time we got our ball back, the shell Twilight made was almost digested away, and it came up a different neck than it went down! I felt kind of guilty except the hydra was so mean it made me forget to be guilty anymore.
* Gaze of a cockatrice? CHECK! We went back to World 21 for that, and they froze it up good! Lots of musical hissing, too!
* Clasped claws? CHECK! Spike again! Plus a bunch of us Pinkies and Scootaloos wore fake superhero costume claws and helped him out, just in case.
* "For that all should be well and thy life be free?" CHECK! The mayor of Baltimare sent a bunch of musicians to keep us in time with each other and to make sure we didn't get too bored during the chant! It took about an hour and a half, and it was pretty trancy! Or maybe groovy. Some of the Scootaloos got bored and left but most of us had a pretty good time! (Now if only I could get that chant out of my head!)
* Polish it with your kisses? CHECK! Pinkie-2.0 is a star! She's such a good kisser she almost made me jealous of Blues, her boyfriend back home!
* Set it in a ring of silver? CHECK! We got a real silversmith called Silver Smiles to come do this, and Twilight helped her out by making the silver soft and then hard again when it had to be.
* Pass it over the casing of the accursed gem? NO CHECK! We can't do that because we don't have the casing for all the gems! We can only hope that all the Raritys who got hit by gem curses kept theirs!
* So instead, we're making a kit! The kit'll tell them how to make the cure happen and include the ring and the chant, only it's a different chant for each particular curse, so we're gonna have to print a booklet. But Twilight is all up on that!
* WE DID IT! I'm so excited! Now we've just gotta do it like forty-seven more times and we should be all covered!
Day 50, World Stupid
Twilight got some unicorns from the Royal Academy interested and they said we had to have a test to make sure these things work! So Rainbow and Pinkie-1.0 took the first gem cure kit we made back to their original world, and in the meantime the rest of us stayed to make more! We're doing all the parts in shifts, but we're really hoping it'll turn out to be okay to just say the chant a thousand times total instead of a thousand times each. I mean, we're running out of musical styles to do it to! I could go for more of that swanky Camelu rhythm, though! I hope the DJ plays it at tonight's chant session.
So far we've made five rings to cure five Raritys, if we did everything right. I want to send one back to our Rarity before it's too late! I mean, Dash and me did more than our share to get all this working! We're the ones who got the dew from the flower, and Twilight says the dew is the limiting reagent in our process which means we're gonna run out of it before we run out of anything else! So they should be thanking us maybe more than anypony!
But we aren't top candidates to get our Rarity cured because we -don't have a reliable path back.- That's what they say. Whatever! We can totally get back all the way to World 3 using our Doohickey's Retro Window, and from there it's just three worlds away and if we can't find our way back home from there then I'm a skunkie's uncle.
But noO0Oooo. Everyone who can guarantee they know how to find their way back gets to cure their Raritys before we do. Well, I'm gonna talk to Dashie about it, and if she feels the same way I do, then we're gonna strike off on our own! We'll GO home and COME back and REMEMBER the way and MAKE them send our Rarity her cure! And if they have problems without us then they can just BLAME THEMSELVES because they SHOULD HAVE DONE THE RIGHT THING.
I'm sorry to do that to you, travelogue. I know you deserve better than scribbles. But I hope you'll forgive me because you can understand how I feel.
Morning 52, World 16
Okay, so it turns out Dashie not only felt the same way I did, she felt more of it. She was ready to go almost before we were done having our conversation! She hugged me and shouted at Rainbow-9: "You know what? We're outta here. We've got better things to do than sit around and milk hydras for their stomach acid all day." Which I thought was a great line even if it is exaggerating the hydra thing juuuust a titch.
Rainbow-9 is the Chief Dash. The group elected her to be in charge, and she was peeved that we were leaving! But most of the group understood—everyone's got their own world to look out for, and we've got ours! I'm scared that maybe when we come back they won't let us take one of the rings even if we do find the way back to our world. But Dashes are forgiving friends, aren't they? ...And so are Pinkie Pies! ...Aren't they?
SO we decided to come back to the world where we met that Twilight at the Gifted Unicorns college who made our Retro Window in the first place! We're hoping to ask her if she can make it even more retro and help us get all the way back, not just as far as World 3 where we got the calibration window! But the train from Baltimare let us off pretty much right in front of the royal palace, and no sooner did we pass by than PRINCESS LUNA leaped out and found us and started asking us why we were missing all our appointments with her, and didn't we love her as our sovereign after all?!
I'll tell you, I had totally forgot that I signed us up for all those appointments. I felt terrible! I tried to explain how the guards dragged us out of the palace, and Dash tried to tell her that she had to mare up and make some friends, instead of counting on her subjects coming to her, but Luna just hugged us both into a big swirly cape of night and took us to her palace, and we had to play puppets and war games and do storytime with her and build bat habitats and finally came Night Court and we were the only ones there and it was just really awkward. Luna said a speech and then asked us to petition her, so Dashie went up and petitioned her to help us find our way back home. And Luna raised an eyebrow and asked a bunch of questions in her archaic voice, and then she wanted to take a look at our Doohickey. And I was kinda scared she might, like, break it or something, because this Luna doesn't seem like the most mature ruler the multiverse has to offer, you know? So we told her to be really careful with it, and she promised she would. Then the sun came up and she went to bed right there in the throne room and she snores loud and unlike Dashie her snores are not like music.
So much for getting help from college Twilight! Luna has our doohickey somewhere on her, even though I can't see anywhere it could be, so it's probably some magic place where you keep hammers and stuff. And Dashie and I have places to go! But you can't wake a sleeping princess without a really good reason, and I asked the guards but they don't think this quite qualifies. So now we're stuck in the palace all day and I'm really tired and screw this, I'm gonna go find Celestia.
Still Day 52, World 16
It turns out that standing in line is not one of my noteworthy skills. Neither is waiting for hours and hours and hours! I mean, Twilight-1 made me watch grass growing, but at least that's grass. That's nature. Nature is interesting! What's not so interesting is staring at the same big aristocrat's pudgy maroon caboose for half a day. I got so antsy that I started playing games with the other ponies in line to see Celestia, and then I started a call and response singalong, and I got kicked out of the line twice and had to start over, and then eventually Dash and I just broke into the Princess's throne room and shouted that Rarity's life is in danger, and we got dragged away because I forgot Princess Celestia doesn't even know who Rarity is in this world. Or me or Dash! So we got tossed out of the palace without our doohickey, and now we're totally trapped here!
Except we can still probably get it back from Luna. We just have to wait for her to wake up and get presentable and then go in for our nine-hour block of appointments. (I cannot BELIEVE I sig
But in the meantime, maybe we'll go see Twilight at the Academy. If she could create a Retro Window to go with our Calibration Window, maybe she can create a whole new Doohickey from scratch! She knows how it works now, right? How hard can it be?
Wait I forgot to use reverse psychology. How EASY can it be? Twilight probably has NO idea how to build us a new doohickey, and if we march in there and ask for one, there's no way she could figure out how to do it. Forgetaboutit! I mean, how clever could she possibly be?
Night 53, World 16
Nope, I was too late. Twilight really didn't have any idea how to help, and she felt bad about it too, so now I feel bad and Dash feels bad. We all went to a shadow puppet show at the student theater which is this thing where they use shadow ducks and things to tell stories. Usually I would be totally excited about that, but I was feeling so down I just went WOO and waved my pompons around while frowning a great big frown. Actually that's kind of funny to think about, so maybe I'm cheering up a little.
Anyway, we went back to see Luna, and she made us play foosball and wind clocks and read through thirteen-hundred-year-old poetry and redistrict outlying barley fields in Shetland and polish ceramic cats, and then finally she took our doohickey to her study and took a good look at it.
And what do you think she decided? I'll flip to some words to see what you think she decided.
]] silver quest excited get moon
Yup. You guessed it. She wanted to come with us. So I'll ask you a question, travelogue. Do you say no to the Moon Princess?
Vial?! What is 'vial' supposed to mean? The answer is no! No, you don't say no. You can't. So now, we've got to wait while Luna works out a way to make our Pinkie-and-Dashie-ONLY device work for Lunas, too! And I bet you can see how great that's gonna be! When we have Lunas zipping all over the multiverse too, on top of everypony else, then things are really going to get unstable. I mean, does she take her moon with her when she travels? How many moons can one world handle? What if they smash into each other in the sky? Why does nopony but me ever think of these things?!
Day 54, World 3
Welp, it's kind of out of our hooves now! Luna got distracted for a while with the big head globes in World 5, but once she'd bought and used every single one of them we kept going to World 3. So we marched through Canterlot up to the palace, ponies bowing left and right in front of us, and we came up to the guards who ask what you want, and Princess Luna whispered to me and Dash that she was too shy to ask, and we should do it. So Dash heaved a big heavy SIGH, and went up and said that we'd like to see Princess Luna. And the guards just looked really confused and said, "Uh, she's standing behind you." And I got mad and pronked around and said "No, the REAL Princess Luna!" Then Luna said "We should like to see ourselves as well," so at that point the guards broke down and let us in.
So now Luna-16 is meeting privately with Luna-3. Dash and I are just waiting outside. It was fall when we were here before, but now it's totally winter. The clouds aren't so thick over the sun anymore, which is probably a good sign—I wonder if Luna-3 has some way of holding it without burning her soul now!
I have to admit, it's kind of boring just waiting out here. The plus side is we got to keep our doohickey this time, but it's not like we're just gonna blow off Luna, because you never know.
...she could follow us
Day 55, World 3
So APPARENTLY after a long night and like a BARREL of wine and enough dinners to feed sixty ponies (according to the cooks who had to bring it to them), Luna-3 and Luna-16 have decided to SWITCH PLACES. Luna-16 told so many stories about Celestia that Luna-3 misses her more than EVER, so she's gonna go back to World 16 and be sisters with Celestia-16, and Luna-16 is gonna stay here and rule so she can be popular! This is CRAZY. But I mean, I can't blame them! If I hadn't seen my sisters in a thousand years, I'd probably be willing to
oh my gosh it's been so long since I saw my sisters !
Day 56, World 28
Dash is really great! She's the best. Even though she's never been the most patient pepper in the peck, she's so patient with me! Because when I thought of my sisters and how long it's been, I just had to tear off and visit them in Whickerton and Grand Whinny, and even though those towns are right next to each other it still meant a train ride while Dash held off the Lunas by stalling in every way she could! And even though the sisters here aren't my sisters, they're my sistergangers and I'm theirs and that's almost close enough! I'm so sorry Rarity if this one day is all you had left, but I got weepy around the crying Lunas and I needed this. I did!
It turns out Blinkie goes by "Limestone Pie" here, which was really weird at first but now I think it's cute! And Inkie is "Marble Pie". And they're both doing fine! Limestone has a little farm in Whickerton and she's married with a teeny baby who just had his monthiversary, and it's not creepy like the old farm in World 5 with the other me at all! And Marble is playing in an orchestra now! I got like three hours with each of them and now I'm pooped but happy except I'm burning inside to see my real sisters, but for that I've just got to get home, haven't I? I AM DRIVEN.
But it's not that easy! Luna-3 is trying to help us out, so she came with us today and kept pointing at the calibrator window and suggesting ways we could turn the dials. And since this Luna built the window, she at least knows what she's doing! Plus, she's an even cuter backseat driver than Luna-16, although her foosball game isn't nearly as sharp.
But it was all to no avail! We popped into:
* A world where everyone's head is funny-shaped and bigger than normal and everyone talks kind of slow and seems really excited about everything in this slow way and I had to get out of there!
* A world where there are rivers running all around Canterlot Mountain with seaponies living in them! They're good singers and we had a jam session but even so.
* A world where apparently nopony ever stood up to Discord and now he's in charge all the time and when we showed up it was Pentagonal Polka Thursday. Which makes no sense because in every other world it's Monday.
* A world that I thought was normal until I peeked in a school window and found out that there, colts and fillies teach adults! I don't even know how that fails to repercuss.
* A world where eating inside is against the rules and everyone has picnics all the time. That's where we are now! We were hungry and frustrated by then so we stopped here and joined a big community picnic. Princess Luna is off playing Doughnut-on-the-Horn with the kiddies, and no one seems to recognize me or Dashie, so I'm lying here on the gingham writing and Dashie's right next to me giving me quality cuddles. Now she's got her leg under my belly, and it tickles! Okay, gotta wrap this up, Travelogue. Wish me luck! [kiss mark]
Day 59, World 23
I'm so sorry Rarity! I can just see you in my dreams, falling apart and sleeping while you're awake and whispering all your sad blind whispers, and I have your cure, and I CAN'T FIND YOU!
I gave up. We gave up. We went to eleven new worlds, plus a bunch we'd been to before, and even with one of the smartest Lunas helping us, we just couldn't find our way home. We even asked around in that spooky world where everyone's a technicolor zebra! No luck! For a while I was worried the Retro Window wasn't even working right and we were just getting loster and loster and loster!
We're gonna have to do things the Chief Dash's way. There's just nothing else we can do! We finally found our way back, and Dash and I took Luna-3 to World 16 and stayed for her Trans-Coronation. Then we came back here to Cure Hard Quesadilla. Some of the Dashes had some harsh words for us and even my best other-me friend, Pinkie-5.1, said she was disappointed in us for running off. So I wrote and performed in a one-pony-play about our adventures that involved a lot of lighting changes and cartwheels, and I think that softened everyone up again. Most of the other Pinkies joined me on stage doing cartwheels at the end, and I think Pinkie-2.9 is still doing them somewhere over by the penguin exhibit. So I was right about us being forgiving friends. But that doesn't make me feel any better about failing in my quest.
Still, they have a system here. The more days go by, the more Pinkies and Rainbows and even sometimes Twilights show up looking for help! Cure HQ is famous across the multiverse now and everyone with a Doohickey of their own comes here when they have friends or princesses or lands with curses or diseases or afflictions or deep-seated fears or apple shortages or overdue library books, and the gang here works on solving their problems. So now we have five divisions mass-producing three different kinds of kits, two manuals, an anti-gremlin spell scroll, a packet of magic seeds, a magic crown, a potion, and (maybe worst of all) an instruction book for making your own interdimensional transporter! And there's another division in charge of exploring the multiverse and spreading them all! And then there are the Scootaloos, who for a while just wanted to have fun, but now they're all about getting everyone to come home and stop all this madness! So now Scootaloos aren't allowed into HQ, except for the local Scootaloo, who's totally innocent! Except now Scootaloos are sneaking in all the time to play with Rainbows, and if they get caught they all pretend to be Scootaloo-23! I even saw a booklet with facts about Scootaloo-23's life so they can pass an interrogation! It's soooooo silly even I couldn't have made it up!
So that's how things are! Dashie and I just have to play our part in the big machine and hope somehow somepony finds their way back to World-4.0—that's what they call our home—and sends it a gem curse cure kit! (Which is hard to say five times fast.) If that doesn't happen by the time all the Scootaloos get their way, then we're just out of luck!
Dash and I were part of this from the start. There's only a few Pinkies and Dashes who say they're using inventions from scratch—all the rest of them are using borrowed machines and joined in later! And we were here from the beginning, back before we even had a Headquarters! Dashie was part of the Original Four Square Game! The Chief Dash was following us when she began her quest! We got the cockatrices on our side and brought back the dew from Neighagra! This may be a lot bigger than us now, but we were a big piece of it.
We've brought relief and happiness and parties to precious ponies like Raritys and Fluttershys and Twilights all over the multiverse. But what if we go home, after all this, and find our own world mourning and broken?
How much does it really count for, travelogue? How much pride am I allowed to feel for stuff I do in a place I'll never go again?
Pinkie R. D. Pie
p.s. sometimes i like to pretend the R. D. stands for rainbow dash.
Day 61, World 23
Team Snowflower got back with more dew this morning. We're back in business. Chant duty for the next four days. Thinking of asking for a transfer to R&D because I like the initials.
Day 64, World 23
Dashie says we got our transfer! We'll be looking for a cure for the Cutie Pox for World 3.17's Apple Bloom and others like her. Looks like the best lead we've got involves swim fins. Maybe it'll feel better trying to cure another world's loved ones, instead of our own.
Day 66, World 35
Pinkie 3.17's thinking we need to find a separate antidote for every mark her Apple Bloom's got! Makes sense to me, since the Twister set got rid of her chess mark. But what's the antidote for a Fancy fleur-de-lis? Bulgar wheat?
Day 67, World 23
Yep, Bulgar wheat did it. Back at HQ developing the kit. I feel like such a cog!
Day 69, World 23
o/` I'm a cog in a grand machine!
Helping ponies and their loved ones that I've never ever seen.
Making miracles from soda straws and hydra belly slog
I may make a giant splash, but in the end I'm just a cog!
I'm incognizant of if my good friend Rarity's alive
I feel like I could use a sky blue bubble from World 5
My head's like terra-cogga and I wouldn't recognize
My own homeworld's Scootaloo if she were right before my eyes!
Oh, I'm a cog in a grand machine!
Helping ponies and their loved ones that I've never ever seen.
Carving sparkles from creation like some loyal Diamond Dog
I may shimmer through the worlds, but in the end I'm just a cog!
I've been going incognito in a wall of blue and pink
It's bad for my cognition; these days I don't even think.
I just clog my way through night and day, awaiting my reward
But it's hard to be a Pinkie when you're cogito ergo BORED.
Yes, I'm a cog in a grand machine!
Helping ponies and their loved ones that I've never ever seen.
More than two months gone from home; now it's all swirling like a fog!
I may someday be a hero, but for now I'm just a cog!
Yes, I'll be me again someday, but in the end I'm just a cog! o/`
Day 75, World 23
This is too much. The Chief Dash says nopony is allowed to work on their own cures anymore—she says we're too invested in them! Now everypony has to work on solving somepony else's problems!
Too invested? How can you be too invested in something? Isn't investment a good thing? This is all mixed up and it doesn't make any sense and if Dashie feels the same way...
...yeah. You guessed it. We're outta here.
Day 76, World 37
Goooodbye Cure Hellish Quotas! I'm a FREELANCE PINKIE now! It turns out Dashie was ready to scoot too but she was just afraid to bring it up, because she knew how hard a worker I was! But I just worked hard so I could lose myself in my worries! Now I'm... well, I'm just gonna have to drench myself in my worries instead! Maybe if we roam far enough and play hard enough the worries will all evaporate off of us and we'll be left... clean. Somehow.
We've tried our best. We really have! Everyone tells us we have, so we're not even making that up, the way I made up the word 'kumquat' that one time. We've earned a vacation. Right, travelogue? Isn't that what you want to hear? You're a travelogue—you love vacations! Well, we've saved up our money from HQ and now we can take it easy for a while. Dash is taking me to Cloudsdale to meet some version of her parents! We don't know what they're gonna be like here in World 37 but based on what we've seen so far, I'm guessing they'll be into nephaloculture. That's a fancy word for growing cloud gardens! And after that, we're gonna head off to Appleoosa for whatever country fun they can wrangle up! But if something better comes our way? You'd better believe we're up for it! Throw us your best, wide world of worlds! We're ready for you!
Day 76, World 37
So it turns out Mrs.-Dash-37 is a snowflake technician and Mr.-Dash-47 is a hydroplaner. Whatever that is! Dashie says that isn't too different from what her real parents do, but her mom would never actually work as a snowflake technician. She does that as a hobby and her real job is in hurricane control! I totally agree that that sounds much cooler. But think how cool it would be to do hurricane control as a hobby!
We were totally polite to both of them and I don't think they even realized Dashie isn't their real daughter! They were so happy to get a visit we couldn't bring ourselves to mention it. Now we're hanging out in the Cloudosseum and I'm gonna take one more spin around the track. Let's see if I can make it before my cloudwalking shoes wear off!
Day 77, World 37
o/` Oh, sheeee's my Rainbow-diddle-dashie! IIIII'm her Pinkie-putty-pie!
She's gonna pick me up and flyyyy, yeah! She's gonna pick me up and fly! o/`
Day 78, World 37
Well, our chariot broke! You know how it is. One Spiral Eye-Roll leads to another, and before you know it your daredevil mare is doing Gorge Bombs to impress you. I totally get why Dashie gets bored of the same old tricks and keeps needing to invent new ones! But now I also have a deep understanding of why she needs to Take a Chill Pill once in a while! I mean it! I'm 95% sure one of the eleven worlds we jumped through in that big binge with Luna-3 actually had Chill Pills!
But it's okay. It's nice to be carried by the pegasus you love, and it's also really spiffy to get your new chariot built in Appleoosa! That's because the carpenters there are so good at what they do that it's like a dance, and it didn't take much humming and hoof tapping on my part to turn that metaphorical dance into a bonafide carpenter's jamboree! Whee-haw! (I know it's supposed to be Yee-haw but I like this way better.)
We're spending at least a couple days in Appleoosa. Dashie and I didn't get to see all the stuff this place has to offer the last time we came—we were busy hanging out with the buffalo! Dashie likes the salt bars. Did you know they have more than just salt licks there? They've got blocks of all kinds of spices you can lick! Cardamom and marjoram and coriander and ginger and all that. The cayenne lick is really something—in practice, it's more of a cayenne snort! As for me, I was impressed by the horse-drawn horse-drawn carriages. I'm gonna learn how to extract ink from funereal bones and ash so they can start having horse-drawn horse-drawn horse-drawn carriages! Get it? ...Okay fine it's morbid. But you know me, travelogue—I'll do anything for a pun!
Day 80, World 38
]] what Library business expression swoop
Okay I'm gonna stop you right there because clearly you have no idea. Dashie and I are scheduled to be guest speakers for the Interdimensional Council of Scootaloos! That's right, the Scootaloos have an Interdimensional Council. Turns out they've been having weekly meetings for a while now! They heard we were important with establishing Cure HQ but now we're free agents and they want us to come and talk, and that sounds terrific! But what are we going to talk about?! I mean we could just tell them our story but there are some parts that aren't child-friendly, and besides. These are Scootaloos! They have like no attention span and they get bored really easy! We can't just show up—we've got to have an act!
Dashie thinks we should tell them some scary stories, complete with flashlight and BOO at the end! That could work! Scootaloos are tough little kids, right? They'll probably just scream and laugh and have a great time. What could possibly go
Okay, no, I can't finish that. That's pushing it too much even for me. Wish me luck!
]] chariot strong jumping
Yeah, I'm gonna assume that means 'Break a leg'. Thanks!
Day 81, World 38
I cannot believe there is even such a thing as the Evil Pinkie Pie Club.
I would do some soul searching except it's just too funny.
That is all.
Day 83, World 39
It looks like the Interdimensional Council tracked us down! I let Dashie sleep in this morning so I could go to the market and get something for lunch. We're in a world where the candy is shaped like stuff that isn't candy and all the other food is shaped like candy, so I picked up a few lettuce pops and a box of zucchini cookies, with a loaf of marzipan for dessert. But when I got back, Dash told me that she woke up completely surrounded by Scootaloos. Every time she tells the story, there were more of them and it was earlier in the morning, which is scary in itself—how do they do that? Even I can't change stories after they've been told!
Dashie said she was terrified they'd caught up with us to extract sweet revenge for our debacle as guest speakers, so she stood up in bed and spread her wings, all ready for a Galloping Gust to send them flying! But then they started asking her to show them tricks and pretty soon she was strutting her stuff all over the motel courtyard. I'm sorry I missed it because it sounds like it was a veritable Scootaparade!
It's good to know those fillies are (A) resilient and (B) have forgiving hearts and (C) a sense of humor!
Day 85, World 40
Terrible news, travelogue$ After almost three months of keeping you, I've gone over my quota of exclamation marks for the whole year$ So now I'm using these things instead$ I have no idea what they mean but I see them written on the market signs so they must be pretty popular$ I mean I tried other punctuation but somehow nothing has quite the same punch as a good old line with a dot under it^ I have to admit, though―percentage signs make me think of fireworks%
Apparently there's no such thing as a punctuation quota. DASHIE I WILL SO GET YOU FOR THIS$%
Day 87, World 3
So we came back to World 3 just to see how Luna-16 is settling in. And it's... hard to say. She's so excited about how many ponies want to see her now! She made a ten minute window for us and said her appointment book is fuller than Celestia-16's ever was! Dash asked, if she's meeting with ponies all day long, how does she ever find any time to rule the country? And she looked all confused at her and said, "We thought that was what we were doing." Dash and I glanced at each other. "Well okay then!" we said. Maybe the moral of all this is that a well-run country doesn't actually need to be run at all! If that makes any sense.
Coming back to World 3 makes both of us antsy. We know we're so close to home. Just three jumps away! We just don't know which way we have to jump! I had Dashie fly me up to the top spire of the palace and we looked over the snow-covered land and into the hazy sky, just hoping to get some intuition or sudden spark, anything to tell us how to set our calibrator so we can get home.
And then suddenly, like a bolt from the blue—
And I ask you, travelogue. Ain't that the rub?
Day 89, World 41
Well, okay, maybe it wasn't nothing that happened. Because it was up there that Rainbow turned to me and said, "Pinkie Pie, there's got to be somepony out there who can help us. There's just got to be!"
And I knew she was right, because ponies are here to help other ponies, and now that we know how huge the megaworld really is, it's just impossible to think it doesn't have someone in it somewhere who knows how to solve our problem!
Thing is, the best possibilities were Luna or Twilight Sparkle, but we've talked to a whole bunch of Twilights Sparkle and a fair number of Lunas, and none of them know how to track back the jumps of a pony who wasn't being tracked when she made the jump!
I guess something did go off in my intuition, though, because some little part of me decided that if it was Rarity who set us off on this tremendous quest in the first place, it just might be Rarity who could bring us home again. So Dash and I agreed to go to a fresh, random new world and find Rarity, wherever she was, and introduce ourselves and see if she could figure out an answer to our problem.
So we spun our dials every which way until we got a picture that looked nice. Snowflakes and sunbeams and falling ribbons. And we jumped, and we wound up in a place where everypony wears clothes all the time. Apparently here clothing is not optional. So as Rainbow and me walked through Canterlot, there were ponies shrieking and rearing back and even fainting, and eventually some royal guards came and said we had to put on some clothes.
So we got a pair of spiffy jumpsuits and now we're set! Dash got a golden laurel for her mane just to complete that classic look, so I got silver braids worked into mine so we go together! And now we're wondering why we didn't do it sooner!
We asked around about Rarity, and it turns out in this world she lives in the purple hills northwest of Ponyville. But you'll never guess who she lives with!
]] donkey Fluttershy Cameluvian
Okay I don't know what you're smoking, travelogue! No, it turns out she lives with this world's Rainbow Dash! Because they're married! But here, her name isn't Rainbow Dash, it's Rainbow Fresh! Rainbow Fresh lives in the clouds that float next to the hills and wears a green pinstriped vest with a rainbow-colored bowtie! She's so snappy!
In fact she's sooo snappy that right after we met her, Dash started snickering and we had to excuse ourselves so she could laugh like a hyena for a few minutes, and even I giggled, because I admit Rainbow Fresh is funny. But you've got to let everypony be themselves! So we laughed it out of our systems, and then we went back and Fresh acted like she hadn't noticed anything, which was really classy of her. Then she took us down to the hills and introduced us to Rarity-41.
I just had to sigh with happiness when I saw her! I've seen a few Raritys along the way in this big adventure, but none of them seemed so content or so settled as Rarity-41. She was wearing this glamorous thick robe that looked like a bathrobe except she wore it all day, and in the afternoon she added big dark red ribbons to it, and in the evening she took off the ribbons and added this leather lattice that made it look textured like a bramble bush. And she was really pretty! She said the high altitude air stimulated her complexion. She said a bunch of other stuff too—poetic stuff about hills and wind and far-off lands and the straits of fortune and basically it was really cool, because I never heard our Rarity talk like that, but somehow it seemed right!
She also said she was glad to meet us, once she realized Dashie wasn't her wife's twin sister! So we had some forget-me-not salad and hill broth in little china tureens and told her all about our adventures! She and Rainbow Fresh were sad and stricken at the sad parts, and amazed at the happy parts. Fresh has a cute little smile, and Rarity doesn't smile much but her eyes do a lot of sparkling. Once we were done, we asked if they had any advice.
"Well, I'm flattered you've come to me," said Rarity-41, "though I wonder what I could tell you that nopony else could! It seems to me," she went on, crossing her legs, "that there are two ways to approach the situation. First, you could do your honest best to remember the deep nature, the pith and essence, of the world you come from, and then try your best to home in upon it using your pictographic technology! Or, you could continue to do as you've been doing, and ask others more machine-savvy to craft better and better machines to do your work for you."
I remember exactly what she said because it struck me so hard, like I had a bell on my head. ((BOOONNNNG!)) She was right! We'd been making our Doohickey do the work for us, when really the job was just remembering, really remembering, what our home was all about, instead of just jumping from world to world to world and shaking our heads!
"But that's the problem!" I said. "How can we describe where we come from, except in how it's different from everyplace we've been? I mean, we could say we come from a place where there isn't a swirling angry sun, and there aren't giant balls of light for your health, and clothing isn't mandatory, and everyone isn't a technicolored zebra. But how can we do more than just say 'isn't', 'isn't', 'isn't'?"
"That sounds like the tricky part," said Rainbow Fresh.
And it was. And it is! Even if we can't figure out the essence of our homeworld, maybe it's enough if we can just think of one thing it's got that no other world has. But so far, there hasn't been anything like that! Dash and I brainstormed a while in front of our hosts, pacing and bouncing around their hill cave, but no matter what we thought of, one of us thought of a world we've been to or at least heard of where it's true, too.
It was kind of humbling—the idea that all the other worlds in the multiverse are more special than ours! Of course, it probably only seems that way because that's where we came from. If we were visiting our world from a different world, we'd probably notice stuff that's weird about it right off the bat, or at least not too far down the bat. But what?
Day 90, World 41
We've started thinking small. Maybe some of the treats I've made for Sugarcube Corner are so special that no other world in the multiverse has them. Maybe the Cakes' children aren't a pegasus and a unicorn. Maybe Fluttershy didn't run off with Celestia's phoenix or Dash didn't catch a pie that Soarin dropped or Sweetie Belle didn't shrink Rarity's fancy sweater in any other world but ours. Little things! But if it's just little things that are unique, how are we supposed to use them to find our world? The stuff that shows up in our calibrator is big stuff!
Still, at least it's a start, and the thing is, we can't check on the details without checking on the details.
So we had to go see what we could find! Rarity-41 and Rainbow Fresh gave us advice and some hill mix to munch on and a couple hugs apiece for the road. Then we we were off! We took their advice and came back to a familiar place we haven't been in waaaay too long—Ponyville! I have to admit, coming back here makes me feel a whole lot easier. Like someone's lifted my rump and plopped a big soft pillow under there.
Although I also have to admit it's really funny seeing everypony with clothes on!
Pinkie-41 still lives here, and somehow she hadn't even heard of the whole interdimensional muddle yet! And her name isn't Pinkie Pie—it's Pinkie Pancake! But that's close enough that we had a whole heap of fun meeting each other. I made her a pink pancake and she showed me how it's really done and she's taking me and Dash on a tour all around town tomorrow! I'm gonna ask all the little questions, like how Junebug's garden is coming and whether Miss Cheerilee and Big Macintosh are still going out and stuff like that. I'm hoping it'll give me a sense of the big picture. I mean, you kind of have to peek at all the little pictures first, or the big picture won't add up!
Day 92, World 23
Aaaand we ran out of money.
Well, I knew this would happen! I kept telling Dash, if every time you spend money, you have less of it, it's not like you're gonna look in your coin pouch tomorrow and find more money, now is it? I know as math goes that's kind of abstract, but I still thought it was something she could grasp! But no, we managed to spend our very last bit and now we're back to working for Cure HQ again. I mean, we had other choices. Cross Cake and Cauliflower Cake offered to let me help out Pinkie Pancake to earn some money, and there's probably something Dash could do for the Ponyville-41 weather team. Or if worse came to worst we could always go back to World 5 and try and sell more Ball Emergences. But really, it feels right to be working for the Cure again. They're doing the right thing, and now that we've left once I know we can always leave again, and that's an important feeling.
Anyway, what really made the difference is hearing that they need Pinkies to run regulation parties now. Can you believe it? REGULATION PARTIES. That's such an amazing idea I would do it even without knowing what they're for. But what they're for is to cushion the blow of interdimensional travelers, especially Scootaloos, who're being taken back home and need a party to say goodbye to all their new friends. Do you know what, travelogue? Forever-goodbye parties are one of the hardest kinds of parties! But I'll rise to the occasion, or my name isn't Pinkamena Drinkamena Pastybrain Dunkworth Diane Aberforth Babelfifth Responsibility Sprinkles Apostrophe Crumbcake Pie! (It isn't, but don't tell anyone!)
Day 94, World 27
Back to the world where kids teach all the classes! It's not just foals, either. I saw Spike teaching a class to a room full of grown-ups on how to ripen gems to perfection! I stayed to watch and after the lecture we all made gem layer cakes, and we had to tape our mouths shut so we wouldn't grab all the gems in our tongues! Isn't that crazy? My cake turned out way too tall and it collapsed partway on one side, but Spike thought it was great, so we all voted on what to call it and the winner was Lapis Lazuli Tarnbungle. Hee hee heeee!
Now I have a new trick or two in my party bag. But Scootaloos don't eat gems, so I'm gonna have to use rock candy or bonbons or something in our topographical cake-offs instead! It probably doesn't matter 'cause the Scootaloos are gonna mess it up somehow anyway, but you still have to be prepared for everything to go right!
Day 94, World 23
Those Scootaloos are so adorable
I want to adopt ALL OF THEM
Day 96, World 42
I never threw such a sad party in all my life, but it was such a good one! HOW can a sad party be a good one too? [tearstain] I'm going to miss all the Scootaloos so much and Pinkie 5.1 and all the other me's and all the weird new worlds we're always finding. All the Scootaloos were so sad and some of them were crying! We all wrote down things we would miss and things we'd learned and mixed them up in a big punch bowl and read them out for each other one by one. Then I had all the Scoots break into groups and make plays about their adventures and their time together, and some of the plays had scooter tricks and some had Scooties dressing up like Sweetie Belles and Apple Blooms and Rainbow Dashes, and one even fluffed her hair up big and played a Pinkie Pie. It made me cry too! There was a lot of hugging and dancing and terrible singing and I wanted it to last for days and days. But it couldn't! It had to end. And now all those Scootaloos are back home and alone, and even though they aren't really alone, on some level they're gonna feel alone for the rest of their lives! Because once you meet yourself...
I wish I could just keep doing this forever and ever until the end of time! I don't want it all to end either. But Celestia 1.8 says it has to end, or everything we know and love could be lost. And if that happens, it'll make World 26 where Discord's in charge look downright tame. I mean I believe Celestia 1.8, everyone says she's wise, but
I'm just never gonna feel the same.
Day 98, World 44
yeeek yeek yeek
Chainy Pie is chasing me! She's the leader of the Evil Pinkie Pies and I'm on her hit list and now she's found me! She was in an undisclosed location until now but now she's just one world away and she could show up anytime! Dash says she'll take her down but I don't think Dash realizes what she can do with those chains! I'm tempted to just jump willy nilly spilly from world to world, but that's dangerous if you do it too fast and what if she tracks us down anyway? I don't know what to do.
How could she be Me?!
Day 99, World 9
We're back in World 9 and hiding out at Zecora's place. I was afraid Chainy and the other Evil Pies had some way of tracking me, but Celestia and Luna-23 didn't know what to do about it, so I figured I'd just take a really big bath and try to scrub myself clean! And since Zecora-9 is the most helpful Zecora we ever met, Dash and I decided to come back here and see if she had any ideas!
Well, Zecora is always big on addressing injustice instead of running from it. Except that one time with the Parasprites, but this Zecora doesn't remember any Parasprites so she gets a pass. When we told her about the Evil Pinkie Pies, she got all serious and started drawing circles in the dirt around her hut. Then she set some of them on FIRE and while they were burning she drew that bath I wanted! First she boiled it and then she simmered it, and then she froze it until it was jelly, and then she had me get in. It was SO COLD! But it got warmer fast, and I was okay because Dashie held me around my neck and nuzzled me, and I knew I could handle any little thing like cold or heat or evil versions of myself so long as she was there.
The longer I sat in that potion bath, the more hot stuff came out of me. It mixed with the jelly until the jelly was soft, and we watched the pink stuff from me swirling with the turquoise jelly in all these beautiful patterns, and Dash stirred it around until it was like soup! Eventually Zecora said it was okay for Dash to get in with me, and even though it was still cold she dived right in, and I got all splashed with my own inner demons, and it made us both laugh. You'd better believe I splashed her back!
That's when I suddenly knew deep in my heart that Dashie and me had to be together forever. So I asked Zecora if she had any rings, and she whooped and brought over a craggly ring carved out of an antelope's horn and painted yellow with little magenta spots. It was perfect! And I swam over closer to Dashie in the tub, and Dashie swam away from me, but the tub wasn't that big and it wasn't long before I caught her. I caught the speediest speedster ever to fly the skies! And I put the ring on her forehoof, and said "Rainbow Danger Dash, will you be mine forever and always until the skies crack and rain strawberry syrup, and even after that?"
And she said
she said, "You'd better believe it!"
I'm so happy, travel log. I'm so happy
Day 100, World 9
I'm as clean as I have ever been.
I'm clean inside AND out.
I'm clean on the middle layer BETWEEN inside and out that I never knew I even had.
I'm so clean that if those evil Pinkie Pies find me, I'll know they're using magic even more powerful than the princesses, because not even Princess Celestia herself could track me down after a bath like that.
And you know what? I'm okay with that. If a bunch of evil me's turn out to be the most powerful magic force in the universe, BRING IT ON! Because I'm a Pinkie Pie too, and I can do ANYTHING they can!
It's the hundredth day of my trip, and I'm sitting in the middle of the Everfree Forest shouting out every word I write, and I'm not afraid. I'M NOT AFRAID! I am a FORCE OF THE UNIVERSE!
Day 102, World 23
Well, I think Dashie put it best. That was just so lame it was funny, and so funny it was lame.
I went back to Cure HQ and put out ads in the Baltimare Gazette to the Evil Pinkies—Come and Get Me! And then I went back to squeezing parsley stalks for the Fluttershy Treeflea Sickness Kit, but Dashie was with me the whole time, and we were ready.
When the Evil Pinkie Pies finally showed up, I went out to meet them. And when Chainy Pie started to lay into me for running away, I assaulted her with a pie.
Just one! Just one apple meringue pie, right in the face. I just hurled it in the middle of her sentence and went back to standing on my hind legs, hooves akimbo, glaring at her and her whole gang, daring them to ratchet it up, pondering what nasty nonsense they'd pull out next.
But guess what! Chainy Pie started squealing and swinging her chains in every direction, and then she started to cry! And the next thing I knew, she was running away, meringue dripping off her face, and the whole gang started wailing and crying and ran away with her! I saw Raggedy Pie lick Chainy's face clean and Chainy didn't even stop her.
Then I heard Dash chuckling beside me, and soon I heard clomping and cheering and I saw all the Pinkies and all the Dashes applauding for me and laughing and whooping it up! And then I realized just how ridiculous the Evil Pinkie Pie Club was all along. If I was ever going to be evil, I wouldn't be the kind of evil that would win! I'd be the kind of evil that was fun to beat! Anything else just wouldn't be me, and I couldn't believe I hadn't seen that all along!
Well, what could we do then but have a party? And since we were having a party anyway, Dashie showed everypony her ring, and shouted that we were engaged! And since Cure HQ isn't going to last much longer, we decided we may as well get married tomorrow!
You read me! I'm gonna be hitched, travelogue! My mission worked and I fell in love with my partner in adventure and now she's gonna be my partner in life. And we're gonna probably have to have another wedding if we ever find our way home, but for now this is the one that counts. Because who knows if we'll ever get home! And if the journey lasts forever, then that means it's probably worth it.
Day 103, World 23
o/` Oh, Pinkie went a courtin' and she did ride, uh huh! Uh huh!
Pinkie went a courtin' and she did ride, uh huh! Uh huh!
Pinkie went a courtin' and she did ride, balloons and baked goods by her side, uh huh! Uh huh!
Pinkie paid a call on one Rainbow Dash, uh huh! Uh huh!
Pinkie paid a call on one Rainbow Dash, uh huh! Uh huh!
Pinkie paid a call on one Rainbow Dash, sayin' "Life with you would be a bash", uh huh! Uh huh!
Dash came down from her cloudy home, uh huh! Uh huh!
Dash came down from her cloudy home, uh huh! Uh huh!
Dash came down from her cloudy home, saying "Pinkie, you'll never be alone," nuh uh! Nuh uh!
Pinkie and Dash played a thousand pranks, uh huh! Uh huh!
Pinkie and Dash played a thousand pranks, uh huh! Uh huh!
Pinkie and Dash played a thousand pranks, then zipped out of town and shook their shanks, uh huh! Uh huh!
They threw lots of parties by and by, uh huh! Uh huh!
Threw lots of parties by and by, uh huh! Uh huh!
They threw tons of parties by and by—sweet pink cakes and a clear blue sky! Uh huh! Uh huh!
The rocks from the heavens come tumbling down, uh huh! Uh huh!
Rocks from the heavens come tumbling down, uh huh! Uh huh!
Let rocks from the heavens come tumbling down—Pinkie Dash'll always be around, uh huh! Uh huh! Uh huh! o/`
Day 104, World 23
None of the Pinkies here can even remember why they were angry with us! I can't remember either but I bet if I flip back and read you, I'll find out! So don't tell me, Travelogue, because I don't want to know!
Day 105, World 45
ICE SKATING PARTY CLASS CLUB!
Can you believe Dashie never went ice skating before? I mean she grew up in Cloudsdale where they make the ice! But I guess it's still all bumpy when it's all there, and you need to wait 'til it's down here before you can skate on it, unless you don't mind the bumps!
Dashie was always afraid of falling down and making a fool of herself, so she never even tried! Isn't that a hoot?! Even Twilight was willing to give skating a try! So first I talked Dashie into putting on the skates, even if she didn't want to go onto the ice. And then I made her go on the ice by stealing a kiss and skating away! Dash couldn't let me just get away with her kiss, so she had to wobble out on the ice to get it back! And sure enough, she went crashing and splashing and thrashing and everypony was laughing at her until suddenly, out of the blue, she was skating around with me and getting her kiss back seven times over and we didn't even remember when she'd stopped falling down. But it turns out Rainbow is a natural skater, and she just never bothered to find out!
The first Winter Wrap-Ups are starting soon, and some of the Pinkies are getting together to do a big lake-scoring tour of the multiverse,'cause that's both fun and efficient! I totally want to go, but it's Pinkies only and I'm a married mare now! So I'm stuck delivering packages and throwing regulation parties with Dashie. But that's just what I want to be doing because any good work is just what I want to be doing as long as it's with her.
And we still haven't unpacked all our wedding cakes!
Day 107, World 46
It makes me happy to be giving potions and medicines to ponies who've been waiting and praying for them forever. And why wouldn't it? Who wouldn't want to make someone cry with happiness? But most of these potions I'm delivering are ones I didn't make, and didn't even help with the cure for. I feel like the Pinkies and Dashes who came up with the recipe and found all the rare ingredients should get to see these tears of joy in the eyes of all these Fluttershies and Twilights and Applejacks. But then again, we get should to see the happytears in the eyes of the Raritys we helped cure and all their loved ones! We're all getting what we deserve, but we're seeing the wrong tears!
And I have to ask, does it matter? Would we be learning a different lesson, even if it's just a little different, if we saw the happiness of the ponies we're actually helping? Does it matter if you get a reward that's not quite the one you deserve?
I ask because when I turn away from the houses after delivering the packages, I can't stop crying!
Day 110 World 2
Check it out, Travelogue. Did you see what I wrote at the top of this entry? We're back in WORLD 2, Travelogue. We're SO CLOSE.
I don't know if it was luck or just sheer willpower that got us here, but we're back in the world where they invented the Doohickey! So now Princess Twilight (it still feels weird to write that) and Princess Celestia are looking it over, trying to find a way to get us back, and Dash and me are out here enjoying the giant flowers, and even though the snow and ice was exciting all over the place I can't help but be happy it's finally spring, and I wish I could see all the worlds we've visited one more time now that the snow is gone, and maybe we can! I know not everyplace has wrapped up winter yet because I'm scheduled to be in a Winter Wrap-Up pageant the day after tomorrow in World 18. I just have one line: "We've kept our hoofsies warm at home; time off from work to play!"
There've been times this winter my hoofsies were FREEZING! I got some boots but for some reason I kept losing them until Dash got me some newer, warmer, better boots, and that's part of why we ran out of money! But now it turns out Dashie was just STEALING my boots the whole time and she gave them all back in a big pile today and I just laughed and threw some at her, and we had a bootfight. Good thing boots are soft! But I'm totally looking forward to keeping my hoofsies and the rest of me warm both inside and out.
Dashie gets a whole verse about clouds and stuff! Maybe I should write my own verse and try to squeeze it in there. I'm so nervous, travelogue—when are Twilight and Celestia going to come out and tell us if we can go home?!
Night 110, World 2
Even Princesses can't do everything! It's a fact of life.
I mean if they could, why would anypony else do anything?
I tell myself that, but it's still hard. It's still hard! Hold me Dashie.
Day 113, World 18
o/` Four months of wild adventures in a crazy multiverse!
No lessons to prepare for this, and no chance to rehearse.
But the cures we've made have served their ends, or at least we hope they will...
And my heart longs for the scents of my familiar Ponyville!
It's time for us to go back home!
(I only wish we could.)
We've had a lot of time to roam
our cosmic neighborhood.
We've helped in every way we could
We even invented some!
And even though it's all been good
I wish that we were done!
Splinter Wrap-Up, Splinter Wrap-Up!
Let's gather those errant shoots.
Splinter Wrap-Up, Splinter Wrap-Up!
Time to get back to our roots!
Now we need our homeward routes.
Dancing in the chocolate rain
A Pinkie's paradise
Can make some ponies go insane
Which isn't all that nice.
We braved the storms and we scaled the high peaks!
We caulked the windows with our love
And we stopped up all the leaks!
Splinter Wrap-Up, Splinter Wrap-Up!
Let's gather those errant shoots.
Splinter Wrap-Up, Splinter Wrap-Up!
Time to get back to our roots!
Splinter Wrap-Up, Splinter Wrap-Up!
Time to get back to our roots!
Now we need our homeward routes.
"For that all things should be well
And that thy life be free"
I've chanted that ten thousand times
in hopes you'll stay with me.
I've made so many strange new friends:
Cockatrice and manticore!
But this adventure never ends
Unless we close that final door!
Splinter Wrap-Up, Splinter Wrap-Up!
Let's gather those errant shoots.
Splinter Wrap-Up, Splinter Wrap-Up!
Time to get back to our roots!
Splinter Wrap-Up, Splinter Wrap-Up!
Time to get back to our roots!
Now we need our homeward routes.
No easy task to bring about
an impossible recipe.
But proper spunkiness can cure
Newborn hope and sweet revenge
Beautiful flowers too!
To think that I can only pray
it gets back home to you!
Splinter Wrap-Up, Splinter Wrap-Up!
Let's gather those errant shoots.
Splinter Wrap-Up, Splinter Wrap-Up!
Time to get back to our roots!
Splinter Wrap-Up, Splinter Wrap-Up!
Time to get back to our roots!
Now we need our homeward routes.
Now that I've seen the world of worlds
I'm like a sailing star
Whose cradle tumbles in the space
Twixt Far and Very Far.
I am a streak across the ocean
falling humbled and meek
I want to return to my nest
So I can see my streak!
So I can see my streak!
Splinter Wrap-Up, Splinter Wrap-Up!
Let's gather those errant shoots.
Splinter Wrap-Up, Splinter Wrap-Up!
'Cause we've all been errant shoots!
Splinter Wrap-Up, Splinter Wrap-Up!
Time to get back to our roots!
Now we need our homeward routes.
Time to chart our homeward roooouuutes! o/`
[kiss mark] [kiss mark] [kiss mark]
Day 115, World 23
Cure HQ is mostly empty now. I look at the big grassy field outside the Baltimare Zoo where it used to have so many stations set up... conveyor belts and scriveners' desks and alchemy benches and sprawling file cabinets and chanting cushions and piles of cupcakes sitting everywhere... and all I can do is sigh a heavy little sigh.
Celestia 1.8 got her way. Most of the Pinkies and Dashes and Scootses have gone home now. Or at least they're out there, trying their best. But I bet most of them made it. Most of them knew they'd have a sure way back when they left in the first place. Not like us.
You're so brave, Dashie. I wouldn't have been this brave without you. I came on this quest because it was the right thing to do, and because you made it fun. But I wouldn't have been brave enough to steal those plans and smash that shed if it hadn't been for you.
Goodbye, Cure Holy Quetzals. You saved a lot of lives. A lot. I hope a hundred years from now, somepony somewhere remembers you.
Day 116, World 41
Went back to visit Rarity-41 and Rainbow Fresh. We brought a leftover silver ring casing as a gift! It's probably worth a fair bit, but they just left it behind at HQ, and I figured those two should have it. They were so nice, too! Rainbow Fresh baked us two loaves of bread, one with herbs and one without. She had a new bowtie on—it's still rainbow-colored, but the stripes go diagonal instead of straight, and she was so proud. Rarity-41 invited us to stay the night! She sang us a lullaby and tucked us into our sleeping bags, and then they both made us nutcakes for breakfast the next morning. Rarity-41 says she's sure we'll get home soon, but that means we'll probably never see them again! So I hugged them both extra much just in case.
There's so much wind in the hills today. And it's so warm!
Day 117, World 2
All our leads have failed. None of the small details seem to matter. None of the big details are unique. There's just nothing of any importance that would make any outsider care about our world!
But I care. Doesn't that count for something? I care about the bakery and my family and my parties and all the Ponyville ponies I've come to know and love and all the little things that make it worth jumping out of bed each day, and Rarity, and Fluttershy, and Twilight and Appleja
Day 118, World 3
Yes! Yes yes yes yes yes! I GOT it! There is no other world we've been to where Applejack and Twilight Sparkle are a couple! NONE! I never even heard of it happening. And that's a big deal because Twilight's a big deal and besides they have this whole new technique they're using in their orchard and I bet if we make something like, I dunno, apples and sparkles appear together in the calibrator window and we try enough worlds, we'll find them! Yes yes yes please please please!
Day 118, World 49
Nope! Sorry! Stuffed bears should not be alive! So tempting to stick around here, but we have places to be!
Day 118, World 50
This one was promising! We decided to go back to Sweet Apple Acres, 'cause if Twi and AJ are together, we'll probably know it there first! And sure enough, they were a couple! But when Applejack opened her mouth to kiss Twilight, her jaw went open way too big and I'm pretty sure her tongue had a tongue on it, so yeah, we took off pretty quick. Dash stayed long enough to buy an apple, though, and the apple looks like it has eyes and I'm afraid to eat it.
Day 118, World 51
The trees here have jacks on them, not apples! That is... just really weird. We're gonna play one game of jacks with Twi and AJ and then ask if we can spend the night.
Day 119, World 52
Good morning! I like your sailboats, Ponyville-52, but you have too many rivers and not enough trees. Next!
Day 119, World 1
World 1. WORLD 1! We found Sweet Apple Commune! Twi and AJ aren't together in this world but just the fact that we stumbled into it means we're SO CLOSE! I'm trembling all over but it's time for another jump! pleasepleaseplease
Day 119, World 53
I like songs but everyone always talking in song is a little much for even me. Twilight and AJ did do a cute duet, though. ONWARD!
Day 119, World 54
How are the earth ponies here doing that? They're lighting up the land in glowing strips and the soil is tilling itself! As an earth pony I can vouch that this is awesome but sadly we can't stay! Best of luck, glowy hovery Twilight and Applejack! ONWARD!
Day 119, World 55
Nope! I never thought I'd say this but I can see at a glance this world has way too much chocolate. ONWARD!
Well, it's been a year.
I hope you'll forgive me, Travel Log. I forgot all about you as soon as we finally got home because there was so much partying to do, and after that there were the cloudshaping lessons, and the skywalking spells, and the adoption papers, and ever since then we've been so busy with the kids that I didn't even think about you! Oh! But Rarity DIDget her cure kit. I want you to know that—I want it written down in you! It arrived on the last possible day, when Pinkie 5.7 came to run her regulation party for the last Scootaloos. Fluttershy says Rarity was hours from death when it finally showed up.
All those weeks and weeks and in the end it came down to a few hours! Sometimes I think about how after all the work we did to put that cure together, it almost missed going to the most important place it had to go...
Anyway. I was just looking for a cloud funnel so the kids can make colored clouds for Hearts and Hooves Day, and I couldn't find it anywhere so I decided to look in the bottom stuff'n'junk drawer that I hadn't looked in for months, and... there you were!
You kept me sane, you know that,Travel Log? You and Dashie both get the credit. You gave me someone to talk to when my head was scrambly and I needed to get my thoughts out, and that's how you kept my mind in one piece. I don't know what I would have done without you, except for maybe buy another book but you and I both know that doesn't count.
I was wrong. Dashie never read you. She said she wanted to, but you were mine, and that would have been wrong. Dash is just that loyal and it was just that simple. But now, do you think you would mind if I let her read you? Or maybe you'd like it better if I read you out loud to her? We could do that in bed, maybe. I don't know if she'll like everything I wrote in here, especially the part where I went bonkers for Fluttershy... but Dash deserves to know my thoughts. The time I kept you was the biggest time in our lives! And I don't want to keep any secrets from her—not the smallest, dustiest, corneriest little secret. I want her to have everything I've got.
We've got a big date planned tonight. Isn't that exciting? Twi and AJ and Spike and Apple Bloom will watch all the kids and Dashie's gonna take me to her favorite place in Cloudsdale! We're gonna have a great meal with plenty to eat and drink and we're gonna lie on the windowsill and watch the world floating by.
I wonder how many of those other worlds we went to were so different we could have told the difference from way up high in a cloud restaurant? Maybe I'll bring you along, and we can go through and work it out.
We had to give back the Doohickey, you know. We can't ever go back out there, unless there's some other emergency and Celestia 1.8 and our Celestia both decide it's okay. But even if someone else gets sick, or something worse happens, I don't think they'll let us go roaming again even then. I got the idea that this kind of mishmash is the sort of thing a multiverse can handle... once. But if we go trekking out again the next time trouble shows up, that could be too much, and everything we have could fall apart!
You know what, Travel Log? There were times along the way when that idea didn't seem so bad. There were times when I wanted to just let all the worlds blend together, because life was crazy enough already—what did I have to lose? So long as I had Dashie at my side... why not let the flood do its thing?
I don't feel that way anymore, Travel Log. I'm not sure why... but I love this crazy world just the way it is.
(To the tune of "Want You Gone" from Portal 2, by Jonathan Coulton)
Well, here we are again.
We're back in Ponyville, but
A million things are wrong
just like before.
That pony's eating meat;
Those clouds are cotton candy.
How many jumps until
I just don't care anymore?
You are my only constant!
That's what I'm counting on.
We'll keep each other sane
As we fly into the dawn.
For me, reality
Has always been a burden.
Now Twilight's mania
has cut me loose.
A cure for Rarity
Could only tip the iceburg.
This may be madness
But at least it's not Scootabuse!
Dash, we've got so much life left!
That's what I'm counting on.
Who needs consistency
When we've got the light of dawn?
When I meet other me's
I don't feel quite as special.
To feel normal
for me feels strange.
But you could pick me out
Among ten million Pinkies
You'd wink and smile
And make me promise never to change!
You'd never leave me, Dashie!
That's what I'm counting on.
Let's find some new horizons:
Fly me into the dawn!
Let's fly into the dawn!
Fly 'til we find the dawn!