Warm Food

A Hyperdimension Neptunia fic by Zdood

Disclaimer: I own nothing. But you probably already knew that.

AN: I've got other stuff to work on, but this is just a oneshot, so… anyway, I figured I'd write a fic for an obscure game I happen to like and I feel needs more love (seriously, there's only one other fic in its section as of this writing). If you've heard of it, then great. If not… well, the title's above the AN, just use Google or something, dood. This fic is based on one of my favorite cutscenes in the game, where Noire makes her tsundere feelings for main character Neptune extremely obvious ("It's not like I want to cook for her or anything!" Right, sure…). And of course, we all know what tends to happen when a tsundere and a main character are in the same series together… they inevitably get paired up, typically canonically.

So yeah. This is a Nep x Noire yuri fic. Enjoy, doods!


Gamindustri… a world that has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with personifying, referencing, and/or being about video games. Nope. Not at all. The name is just a coincidence.

…Okay, did you any of you seriously believe me by some weird fluke? 'Cause I was lying, FYI.

So yeah, Gamindustri is a world that parallels the game industry, and it has four primary lands: Planeptune, Lastation, Leanbox, and Lowee. Three out of four of those lands should have names that make it rather obvious as to what console they represent. If what I'm talking about isn't immediately obvious, I suggest you actually attend school instead of staring at the computer all day.

Each of these landmasses has a goddess that represents them as well: Purple Heart (aka Neptune), Black Heart (aka Noire), Green Heart (aka Vert), and White Heart (aka Blanc), respectively to the order from the previous paragraph. The goddesses typically reside within each land's Basilicom (basically a fancy word for 'church') for most of the day, but they do have homes of their own. Living in a church 24/7 would be kinda weird, after all.

That all being said, this brings us to the land of Lastation, where Neptune has been invited over to the abode of Noire. And if you paid any attention whatsoever to the AN, then you already know their character types… so, predictably, some relationship flags are bound to be sprung.

Let's watch the lilies bloom, shall we? (lol bad pun is bad)


"Noooire! Heeere's Neptune! So, whatcha call me over for? And what smells really good?" called out Neptune, a young-looking, short lavender-haired girl, wearing a hoodie of the same color, with striped stockings and d-pad hairclips, as she walked into a fairly plain-looking house, purple eyes scanning around for Noire, as well as the source of that heavenly aroma….

Coming out of the kitchen, Noire, a girl with long black hair in pigtails and red eyes in a rather Gothic Lolita dress with detached sleeves, answered, "Hey Neptune. That smell would be the food I cooked, and I asked you over to, uh, er, taste test it! Yeah!"

"Oh! So, you invited me over to eat with you? Like a date?" Neptune said, either not hearing or ignoring (it's hard to tell with Nep) the last portion of what Noire said.

"Wh-What! No!" Noire yelled, blushing, "I clearly just said it was for a taste test!"

"Right. So, a date."

Noire blushed harder. "Neptune! O-oh, forget it!" She placed her hands on her hips. "Just sit down at the table already!"

"Now is that any way to treat your date?" Okay, now Noire knew Nep was messing with her. Probably.


"Okay, okay, I'mma goin'!"


"mm-MM! This is delicious!" Nep basically squealed, devouring her food in a manner not unlike a certain pink puffball from Dreamland, "And it's fresh-off- the-stove hot, just the way I like it! Or out-the oven, however you cooked it!" She paused to eat more. "Either way, it's AWESOME! An awesomesauce cook is you, Noire!"

"Th-thanks. It was no problem, really," Noire said, eating her food with a bit of a blush on her face, more or less ogling Nep as well. 'She's so cute…' Noire paused for a moment after thinking that. Then she blushed harder and started to shake her head. 'No, no, stupid Noire! What are you thinking! It's not like you like Neptune or anything! You just invited her over for a taste test! Really! That's it!' And while Noire was busy being in denial, Nep just finished up her food, apparently not noticing Noire's odd behavior. Probably. After finishing it, she said,

"You're cute when you're being a tsundere, you know?" Okay, so she did notice Noire spazzing out.

"H-huh? Oh, th-thanks…" Noire stopped spazzing and answered shyly… until the last part of what Nep had said registered in her brain. "Wait, wha- B-but I'M NOT A TSUNDERE!" She yelled indignantly.

"Are too."


"Are too."


Neptune grinned. Somewhere in another universe, Bugs Bunny got a strange feeling that he needed to sue someone for copyright infringement. "Are not."


"Are not."

"I AM TOO A TSUNDERE! And that's fi-HEY!"

"Ah, ah, ah! Nooo backsies!" Nep giggled, "You are a tsundere and yoooou know it!"

"Gr! O-okay, fine! Maybe I am! So!" Noire crossed her arms in front of her chest, blushing an interesting shade of red.

Nep's grin threatened to take off her head. At gunpoint. Only the gun was a bazooka. Seriously, that's how wide she was grinning. "Well, then…" she got up out of her chair and began walking to Noire.

"I wonder what would happen…"

"Er, Neptune?" Noire asked nervously.

Nep got into Noire's face. "N-Neptune? What're you-"

"If I did this?" Nep closed her eyes and proceeded to kiss Noire, whose eyes widened considerably. She didn't bother stopping the kiss, though.

After a few moments, Nep pulled away from Noire's warm lips, grinning. "So, whaddya say to that?"

Noire didn't say anything, though. She did, however, faint. And her bleeding nose suggested that she was probably dreaming about something erotic.

"Eh? Noire? Noire? Huh. I wonder if I triggered a flag?"


In Noire's bedroom, in her bed…

"N-no, Neptune, stop… not there…" Noire mumbled as she slowly came to. "H-huh? What happened?"

Nep, who was lying beside her, answered, while pretending to smoke a cigarette, "Oh, I just ruined you for marriage. That's all."

Noire stared at Nep.

She stared some more.

She stared a little more after that.

And then she promptly fainted again.

"Noire? Uh, I was just joking- we both have our clothes on, see? Noire?"


After waking up from her second fainting spell, Noire wasn't too happy.


Nope, not too happy at all.

Nep, on the other hand, was sporting a couple of bumps on her head, courtesy of Noire. Rubbing her head, she answered, "But I was just joking, and I said I was sorry…"

"Even so! J-Just the implication of having done that i-is just… ergh!" Noire tried to calm herself down, then turned to Nep with a stern look. "So, what do you have to say for yourself?"

In response, Nep broke out a weapon so powerful that it is considered the ultimate game breaker, capable of bringing even the strongest of final and extra bosses to their knees, a weapon so terrifying that none dare speak its name out of fear, a weapon rumored to have stopped a rampaging dragon of immense power in a single shot…

…In short, Nep broke out the puppy dog eyes. And she added tears for good measure.

"I-I'm sowwy, Noire…"

Noire attempted to keep her resolve in the face of the ultimate weapon. "N-Neptune, uh," She failed. Epically. "W-Well, f-fine. Apology accepted. J-Just don't do it again."

Nep leapt at Noire and hugged her. "YAY! You're the best, Noire!"

"Wah! H-Hey!" Noire began… but then thought 'oh, whatever' and hugged Nep back.

After a little bit, Nep pulled back and asked, "…You really do like me, don't you? In that way?"

Noire blushed and looked to the side, but didn't deny it. "…Y-yes… I do…"

Nep looked at Noire. Noire looked at Nep. "W-Well? Reject me, accept me? Say something!"

Nep thought for a minute. "Well…"

Noire sighed. She was rather expecting a rejection, as she was fully aware of how Nep seemed to be rather fond of her friend Compa…

But of course, such an answer would cause way too much seriousness and tension for a series like this, so…

Nep grinned. "Walp. I've decided, Noire!" She pointed dramatically at the pigtailed girl. "I'm gonna be your girlfriend!"

Noire was pleasantly surprised. "H-Huh? You mean you like me back?"

"Weeell, no, not quite yet," Nep answered a bit sheepishly, before gaining her determination back, "but I'm willing to give this a shot!"

Noire looked slightly downtrodden at the answer, but happy nonetheless. "Th-thanks Neptune… for giving me a chance."

"Ah, come on Noire! Cheer up!" Nep winked playfully at Noire. "You're probably the hardest worker I know, so surely you don't mind working a little to woo your love interest, do ya?"

Noire did cheer up, and gained a determined look. "Y-Yeah! I… I WILL court you, Neptune!" Then she paused a moment and blushed embarrassedly. "Er, wow. I just said that, didn't I?"

"Yuppers! You did! Now let's seal this dealio with a kiss!"

"H-Huh? W-Wait, Neptu- Mmph! Mmph!... mmm… mmmmm…"


Fin… Thanks for playing!


AN: And that's a wrap, doods! Hope you enjoyed it, and be sure to review!