I'm re-doing my first chapter and many more after because even though I love it, at least...aspects of it... I really know I have to simplify a lot of my writing so here's is the first adjustment. The rest of the story is basically the same but the prologue is now different... so basically I've explained a lot more. comment on grammar, spelling etc if any of that seems to be getting worse.
In the midst of a large forest, through several leagues of great green pines, there was a clearing, a large expanse of empty land in the middle of the forest where a large castle had been built.
A wide moat running around the castle separated the castle from the rest of the land and through an opening the water drained into a river. This river continued on for half a league where it became a great waterfall.
On another day the grounds around the moat would have been empty, but this day, in the late twilight, a battle was going on, covering the grounds with bodies and blood.
The cause of this horrid destruction was a war fought between the two super power's of the kingdom.
One was a Witch and the other, an Enchantress, who went by the name of Karm.
The Enchantress had dedicated her life to helping those the Witch had cursed, those who might have been rich men of nobility before, but had angered the Witch somehow and were then cursed to be deformed and ugly.
The Witch did not like that the Enchantress was healing those she had cursed, so one night she went to the Enchantress' castle, surrounded by pines and separated from the kingdom.
On the Witch's she had many soldiers; however there was one, a Prince who she had valued above all others.
The Prince had been quite cruel in life, but in all his enemies he had made the mistake of offending the Witch and had gotten himself indebted to her. He had sold her his soul many years earlier and since then had scoured the world on the black back of his frightful horse, doing her dirty work.
Since the prince had lost his soul to the Witch, he had become merciless and unrecognizable to those who had known him since birth.
With black hair and eyes equally as black the Prince went from person to person, ending each life with little more than a nod.
The Witch used her prince puppet to attack the Enchantress at her castle and with his soldiers at her dispense the battle seemed hopeless.
Those that the Witch had cursed fought to protect the Enchantress from the Witch's evil grasp.
They died swiftly at the hands of the Prince.
He did not care for them, to the Prince they were all a bunch of disgusting, ugly freaks, covered in boils and sores after what the Witch had inflicted upon them.
The prince had no qualms with disposing of them.
The attack was quick and fought on the open land around the castle; a storm began forming above the fight and blocked out the waning sun so all those involved were plunged into darkness.
The Enchantress was battling the Witch on top of the highest tower on the castle, flashes of green lightning erupted from the Enchantress' finger's, sparking and crackling as the Witch produced a dark red smog to cover herself.
The Prince who also had a talent for the dark arts used much of what he could to destroy his victims, a black smoke swirling around him as well, choking the life out of those who stood in his path.
Most of those who tried in vain to protect the Enchantress were murdered within seconds by the dark Prince.
The Enchantress was also minding after an important individual. The Witch's own daughter, who had been cursed by her mother. She had been deformed by the Witch, the young child was no more that eight or ten but had been so beautiful at such a young age that it had sparked the fires of envy within her own mother.
The Witch struck her down, deformed and cursed her and probably would have killed her in the end if she had not run away.
The Enchantress found her soon after and brought her to the safety of the castle, treating her like she was her own daughter.
The child stood no chance against the dark powers of the Witch, and at the time of the battle she hid inside the castle, protected by those loyal to the Enchantress, however with the dark Prince slowly approaching the sanctum of the castle, she was put into mortal danger.
The Enchantress knew that the Witch's minion would soon be in the castle and desperate to save her the little girl she now called daughter, cast all of her magic on the Witch, sending her flying from the tower.
But it would take more to kill the Witch than this.
The Enchantress rushed to the lower level, but when she reached it the dark Prince was already there.
The men protecting the little child had been disposed of quite quickly and the little girl remained huddled on the floor clutching to a stuffed bear.
"Please" begged the Enchantress, leaving herself open for attack, "please, do not hurt her."
The Prince turned his cold black eyes on her, his stare emotionless and detached. His eyes then went back to the small child on the floor, the Enchantress was so far away from them both, a spell, if she could still summon the power to cast one, would not stop the Prince from hurting her.
He placed an index finger to the child's forehead, murmured a few words and with that, the child fell to the floor, motionless.
The Enchantress shrieked in pain and ran to the small body, falling to her knees and clutching the little figure in her arms, crying softly.
At this moment the Witch came upon the scene, a smile gleaming on her lips.
"I suppose this will suffice as lesson for trying my patience," she cackled maliciously, the Enchantress still shaking and sobbing as she buried her face in the light brown curls of the little child.
The Enchantress looked up to see the Prince looming over her with a blank expression.
His eyes were pitch black as he glared at her over his shoulder, slowly walking back to the right hand side of the Witch.
The Enchantress had been consumed with such rage that she lifted one index finger in the general direction of the Witch, concentrating everything upon her and unleashing hell.
A green bolt of lightning threaded through the air, striking the Witch in her temple and causing the body to turn to ash and fire in seconds.
The Witch was dead.
But before she turned to the Prince, the Enchantress heard a faint whisper coming from behind her.
The little child was looking up at her and blinked in shock. The Enchantress shook with confusion and fell to her knees, grabbing the child once more in her arms and crying with joy.
The little child was no longer deformed, the Prince, whether he had meant to or not, had cured her of the Witch's curse.
It was then that the Enchantress decided she would take mercy on the Prince and give him one last chance.
There was something still good in him, something the Witch had not corrupted and it was for this reason that the Enchantress did what she did next.
As the Witch had been struck down, the dark clouds in the Prince's eyes disappeared, his fine black hair blown back from his face by the wind, knowing his powers, like his mistress, were gone.
The Prince fell to his knees before the Enchantress.
He stared up at her as if he had come to the edge of the world but could only growl cruelly with brow furrowed and eyes bright with rage. "I suppose I am due for the same fate."
"No, I don't think so my Prince, that would be all too easy an escape. You have done much harm in your pursuit for power, so it is ironic that I should give it to you now."
The Prince watched the Enchantress with confusion as she began to circle him methodically, placing a finger to her chin.
"You will soon realize that power is not everything it is cracked up to be when you can't stand yourself." She sighed and turned to the Prince with strong, stern eyes.
"If you don't exactly plan on killing me, what do you plan on doing?" the Prince muttered in exasperation and frustration.
"I'm giving you one last chance as I said, it may take more than one lifetime to learn, in fact I'm sure it will, with your stubbornness." She brought her hand to his face, "But I am very sure that you will learn." The Enchantress smiled solemnly, "in time."
They glanced at one another.
"I have freed you from your contract," murmured the Enchantress, her eyes glowing green and the long tattoo's stretching all over her skin beginning to do the same.
Her golden strands of hair fell over her pale face as a wind began to whip around the two of them.
"What? Do you wish me to say? That I am indebted to you? That you own me now?" He snarled looking up at her, his anger piercing through his words.
"You owe me nothing Prince, no one owns you, but… along with a second chance you must prove that you are worthy of it. That is why you must be tested, facing what you may consider to be the most deplorable of adversities. When you can no longer bear to look at yourself, there will be someone else who can see the goodness in your soul, despite what you appear to be." The Prince's face was encircled with a bright green glow. "Once you find what your heart so desperately lacks I will allow you back into the world of Sorcery and release you from this curse."
The Prince looked up in fright, eyes wide and horrified. "But-"
"Until then, you will forevermore remain as ugly on the outside as you are on the inside—"
"What poetic justice is this?" Snarled the prince, fear, anger, worry and exasperation clouding his face.
"And remain caged in this forest." Finished the Enchantress, her voice dark and cruel, but the faintest hint of mercy deeply embedded in the intention.
He disappeared then, like a wisp of smoke, back to his castle, with all his servants.
From that day onward the Prince and the Kingdom that he had ruled were never heard of again. In the forest things were never the same; to the north of the Enchantress's castle, in a deeper region of the enormous forest a curse was placed on the land, a dark shadow came to reside there and was eventually forgotten.
As whispers wandered the deep cracks of the trees, the curse went unnoticed and a village was built near the cursed land. People who were brave enough to reach it settled there and soon the village grew into a sizable town with inhabitants that lived and worked the land.
In the town generations were created and destroyed and in the deep recesses of the forest the curse continued to dwell, waiting for something... or someone.