I don't own Sekaiichi Hatsukoi, Nakamura Shungiku does. Wow, I'm doing a lot of fanfics for this series, aren't I? This fanfic comes as a response to the Sekaiichi fan community. I'm not that big of a fan of the Hatori/Yoshino pairing, but if you've read the novels or have read summaries of the novels, then you know that their first time was…less than pleasant. A lot of people, myself included, are a bit upset that this incident happened, and then was never mentioned again. So, here's my take on what would happen if it was brought up again.
Just a couple of warnings: Hatori POV, OOCness, lemon, and hints of noncon.
Two for Tragedy
I went there for business. Yoshino told me he had his newest chapter done, and I rushed to see him. So I could see his work.
So I could see him.
Using the key he gave me, I entered his apartment. Nighttime had settled over Tokyo, so he had the overhead lights on. "Come on in, Tori!" I heard him call from his bedroom. I left the storyboards on the table!"
I saw the storyboards right where he said they would be. I set my grocery bag on the kitchen counter. "Did your assistants go home for today?" I called to him, picking up the storyboard pile. The toner had been placed, and the artwork was stunning. He wasn't popular for nothing, that was for sure.
"Hai!" Yoshino answered me, still in his bedroom. "Yuu wanted to go over the work again, but I told him it was fine!"
Good. I had enough of Yanase. Though it pleased me that Yoshino rejected our mutual friend's feelings, and chose me over him, Yanase still did everything he could to irritate me. Though he claimed he no longer sought Yoshino as a romantic partner, I wasn't so certain of his sincerity.
"I bought some groceries," I said, still looking at the storyboards as I heard Yoshino come down the hall. "I can cook dinner for you if you like."
"Wow, really?" Yoshino was practically squealing as he hurried past me to look in the grocery bag. "Whoa! Is that pork or beef?"
"Pork," I said, still looking at his storyboards.
"Oh." Yoshino's voice dipped a little in disappointment before he straightened again. "Tonkatsu! I would like tonkatsu, Tori!"
My mouth quirked slightly in a small smile as I finally lifted my head to look at Yoshino. "Then that's what I'll ma…" my voice died in my throat.
"You have a head of cabbage…and a can of broth!" Yoshino gushed, still digging through the bag. "Wow, it's like you predicted I would want tonkatsu!"
Yoshino appeared to have changed into some more leisurely clothing than what he may have been wearing today. He wore a short-sleeved dark blue shirt that seemed too small on him. It clung to him like a second skin, and the hem stopped short above his navel, baring his midriff. He wore gray pajama pants that were too big on him, and seemed to cling to his narrow waist.
I swallowed thickly as my heart rate accelerated. We hadn't been intimate since before he missed his deadline, which was over a week ago. I had promised to make him dinner, yet at that moment all I wanted to do was drag him to bed and make love to him.
Patience, I ordered myself. You have to exercise patience with him, Yoshiyuki.
"So, when are you going to make it?" Yoshino looked at me, as usual completely oblivious to what I was thinking.
I took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. "I'll make it for you now." Yoshino was hungry; I could see that enough. If I tried to broach a subject like sex to him when he had other things on his mind, it would only make him irritated.
Cooking his dinner though distracted me, so that I could keep this desire at bay a little while longer. Behind me, Yoshino chatted endlessly away about his day without pause. "—and Yuu just suddenly punched the desk and yelled at everyone to focus and get everything done! We were all pretty tired at this point, but then we—"
…Why did he insist on talking about Yanase to me? Did he really not understand how upsetting it was for me to think about that guy?
But maybe…maybe he wants things to be right between us, I realized. Because Yoshino turned Yanase down flat, Yoshino might feel like now there's no reason for us to not like each other. Even though Yanase hasn't let go of his feelings quite yet…
I served the tonkatsu with cabbage and miso soup. Yoshino accepted the food gratefully, but I didn't have the stomach. I knew I was getting wound up for no reason. Yoshino had picked me. He had the chance to go with Yanase, but he still picked me.
"This is soooooo good, Tori!" Yoshino gushed, gobbling down the tonkatsu quickly. "It's been so long since I've had this!"
He was happy. He may have been a thoughtless idiot, but he was happy. Knowing this helped to ease some of the tension inside of me.
Of course, as the tension dissipated, another feeling replaced it. The desire I had buried to focus on cooking dinner.
Yoshino finished, and patted his flat stomach as he stood up. "I'm so tired, but let's focus on the storyboards! I really put everything into them!" he began collecting them into a pile on the table. "How about we…"
He didn't have time to finish. I suddenly stood up from the table, and pressed one hand over his, which still held a storyboard. Wordlessly, he set the storyboard back on the table as I came to his side. I pressed my forehead against the side of his head, and leaned into his ear. "Can I kiss you?"
In an instant he turned bright red, and he whipped his head around to face. "S-Stop saying such embarrassing things!"
I cupped his chin in my hand and tilted his head back. A short gasp escaped his mouth. "If I don't say it though, then you don't understand my intentions." I leaned a little closer to him. "So…is it okay? Can I kiss you…Chiaki?"
"Ah…" Yoshino tried to duck his head and hide his expression, but I held fast to his chin. After a moment, he squeezed his eyes shut. "…Hai."
I slid an arm around his waist and pulled him close. The hand on his chin slid back and buried into his dark hair as I captured his mouth with mine. He groaned involuntarily against me, but his hands slid up my back and his fingers dug into my shirt.
Our tongues mingled and tasted each other's mouths as I backed him up, very slowly, until he was pressed against the wall. This was deliberate; the light switch was here, and I wanted access to it without breaking contact with Yoshino. The hand I had placed around his waist slid up his back. Yoshino shivered against me, but didn't break the kiss. After a moment, my hand left his back to flick off the switch, shrouding the apartment in darkness.
Yoshino broke the kiss. He leaned his head against the wall as he caught his breath. "Tori…"
"I want to make love to you." my hands cupped his face. Even in the darkness I could see his blush, and see the embarrassment in his eyes. "Is that okay?"
"Stop it!" he said sharply, shoving at me. "How can you continue to say such embarrassing things? Doesn't that embarrass you as a man?"
Yoshino didn't understand. He was so dense that I needed to spell these things out to him. Otherwise, he wouldn't understand my intentions at all. Didn't he realize how hard it was for me to speak like this? I wasn't an open person. It wasn't like me to express my feelings in words.
"Is it okay?" I repeated myself. I nuzzled his face with my nose and mouth. "I want you, Chiaki."
"Ah…" Yoshino's fingers dug into the front of my shirt this time. I could tell this embarrassed him, but he had to know how important this was. "I…" he thumped my chin with his forehead and hid his face in my shirt. "Hai…"
My heart pounded from anticipation and relief. I swept down and lifted him into my arms. He locked his arms around my neck as I carried him to the sofa. His body tensed from being startled, as he no doubt expected me to carry him to his bed. But he voiced no complaints as I laid him out on the sofa. His arms came up to awkwardly embrace me as I stretched out on top of him.
To be able to kiss Yoshino and touch him so freely like this, after loving him for so long, made all those years of pining worth it. I was really kissing his mouth, and he was kissing me back. It was his hands rubbing up and down on my back and over my shoulders.
It was his body squirming beneath mine.
A short discomfort settled over me, and I stopped. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. What was that?
"Tori." Yoshino breathed against my cheek. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," I said, shaking off the feeling as I focused on kissing Yoshino again.
I rubbed my hands over his thin shirt and plucked at his nipples through the fabric. He broke the kiss and arched his head back. "Ah…ha…"
His voice was so beautiful. Unable to help myself, I pushed his shirt up, exposing his chest and I sucked one his nipples into my mouth. I rolled it with my tongue while I pinched the other one between my fingers.
"Mmm…" Yoshino had bit down on his lower lip to hide the sounds he made. His hands played with my collar before they shoved inside, feeling my skin underneath my shirt. "Tori…"
His touch was heightening my arousal, and I wasn't ready to lose control so soon. I took his wrists in my hands and pinned them down to his sides. His fingers curled up, trying to touch my arm, while I nipped at his nipple with my teeth.
I looked up and to his side, wanting to see his desire to touch me with his hands…but I what I saw was his shirt bunched up down his arms, binding his hands behind his back in a tight knot.
I sucked in a breath, and abruptly let his hands go, the vision abruptly gone.
"Tori." Yoshino's hands sought my face in the darkness of the room, and I could feel his eyes on me. "Something is wrong, isn't it? You're acting weird."
I shook my head, and slid his arms around my neck. "Nothing's wrong. I'm fine." I leaned back over him and kissed him again.
Yoshino reacted eagerly to me, but that discomfort had returned and it was overshadowing my arousal. I kissed Yoshino, trying to seek out my desire once more but also for reassurance.
Reassurance that I didn't deserve.
A sharp feeling of panic ripped through me. I grabbed the hem of Yoshino's shirt and yanked it over his head, throwing it across the room.
"To—" he said my name in confusion as I kissed him again. My hands were trembling as I touched him, sliding over his skin, seeking to make him feel good. I wanted him to feel good!
I cupped him between his legs, and Yoshino moaned softly. The sweet sound reassured me and helped to push away the panic, but the discomfort in me only grew. I rubbed him through his pants and turned him over so he was partially on his side, partially facedown. My hand moved quickly over his erection, cloth still separately us as I pinched a nipple with my other hand. I sucked at his neck, but my heart was pounding from the fear of this discomfort and from the panic. I was…I was…
I didn't know. And that added to my fear.
"T-Tori," Yoshino gasped. He groaned sharply as I shoved my hand down the front of his pants and began pumping him in my fist. "Ha…" his body curled inward, though his head arched back. His hands braced themselves against the edge of the cushions as I rubbed over the most sensitive spots on his body, inducing pleasure to him.
I licked his earlobe, and nipped at it, but I was still frightened. Please…please…but I didn't even know what I meant.
Yoshino's breathing hitched, and I knew he was approaching orgasm. His small hips started to move forward, thrusting against my hand. "Tori…mmn…" he pressed his forehead against the cushion. "Tori…wh…wait a minute, I—"
"Wait a minute—Tori! What do you think you're DOING?"
A wheezing gasp ripped out of my throat, and I tore away from Yoshino. I grabbed a fistful of my own bangs and broke all physical contact with Yoshino. But the images swam like a hideous kaleidoscope behind my closed eyelids.
And Yoshino's horrified screaming rattled in my ears.
"Sto—stop that…! STOP THIS, DAMMIT!"
"Just…no…I'm begging you, DON'T—!"
A hand pressed over my clenched fists, silencing the screaming and driving away the terrible images. It took a long moment, but my hands finally relaxed and dropped away from my head, falling into my lap.
I lifted my head. Yoshino's hands, that had held my hands before, now brushed out my messy bangs. He looked at me with fear…and concern.
"Tori, talk to me, please," he said to me, his voice so quiet. "What's wrong?"
My mouth hung open, but I couldn't make a sound. My hands pressed hard over the sofa's cushions—
This sofa. This was the sofa where I…
"I-I'm sorry!" I blurted out, unable to hide the horror from my voice as I stared at him.
Yoshino blinked once. Then twice. His head tilted to the side and he gave me a small smile. "Why are you apologizing, Tori?"
I gaped at him, unable to comprehend the situation. Didn't he get it? How could he not see what was causing this reaction in me?
More horror compounded on my conscious. What about Yoshino? How could he let me touch him in this same spot? How could he give no reaction to me other than pleasure?
What right did I have to even touch him?
"I have to go." I quickly buttoned up my shirt and fixed my collar, quickly searching the dark room for my coat.
"G-Go?" Yoshino's voice was full of confusion as he stood up from the couch. "Did something come up? Did you forget something?" out of the corner of my eye, I saw him slowly pick his shirt up off the floor. "Did…did I do something wrong?"
I stiffened. I bit down hard on my bottom lip. Seconds later, I tasted blood.
"Tori." He hugged his shirt to his bare chest. "I-I know I'm not the smartest person, but if I did something wrong, please tell me. I-I'm sorry, okay? I'm so—"
"WHY ARE YOU APOLOGIZING?" I hollered at him.
Yoshino flinched. I saw his hands curl into fists in his shirt. "Tori—"
I found my coat. Not bothering to put it on, I took off running for the door.
"Tori!" Yoshino shouted after me.
But I didn't look back. I tore out of his apartment, down the hall, and shortly thereafter out of his building. I couldn't stop running. I didn't stop running until my sides burned like needles. I almost collapsed from exhaustion, and I looked around me at the night. I didn't recognize my surroundings.
I saw a park bench, and I collapsed onto it. The night was silent outside of my ragged breathing as I struggled to catch my breath.
When it finally came…I felt a horrible tightness in my chest. I grabbed at my heart and buried my face into my coat. "Oh, my God. Oh, my God…"
My body was shaking, but I wasn't crying. It was almost like I was going into shock. Yoshino's confused face came to mind, but then another face replaced his. It was still Yoshino, but it was so different.
Face flushed. Mouth hanging open. Eyes squeezed shut. Tears staining his cheeks.
And his voice…that voice I thought was so beautiful, rattled once again in my ears with a terrible cry.
I lurched, and a strange noise erupted from my throat. For the first time, I felt tears stinging my eyes. But I held them in. I couldn't cry.
I had no right to cry.
"…if I did something wrong, please tell me. I-I'm sorry, okay?"
You don't need to apologize for anything, I thought to Yoshino. There was nobody alive I loved more than him, but…
I clutched my coat to my face. That's right. It's not your fault, Yoshino. I was the one who raped you.