Summary : (Drarry) If I can't have you, I rather not remember having you at all. (Warning : First HP story. Lots of angst. Lime? M-rated.)
A.N : D: I've been missing. I know. T.T I swear, it's been 2..3…years? T.T I'm so sorry. I've been vair vair busy. I've started to get hooked onto Harry Potter(if you know me, you'd known I've only been doing Naruto fanfiction) so..umm… T.T Hide me. I'm sorry. You can sue me.
Note: This is written on Draco's POV. Could be a bit OOC.
Forget his name, forget his face
Forget his kiss, his warm embrace
Forget the love that you once knew
Remember he has someone new
Forget him as they play your song
Remember how you cried all night long
Forget how close you two once were
Remember he has chosen her
Forget you memorized his walk
Forget the way he used to talk
Forget the things he used to say
Remember he has gone away
Forget his laugh, forget his grin
Forget the dimples on his chin
Forget the way he held you tight
Remember he's with her tonight
Forget the time that went so fast
Forget the love that moved, it's past
Forget he said he'd leave you never
Remember that he's gone forever
"Nnhn.." I heard you grunt as you pushed into me. It was painful at first, it always was but being the arrogant Slytherin I am, I, of course, slowly got over it. That and I have had you in me tons of times before, so I guess it was alright by now. It was, of course, pleasurable. I mean, who wouldn't like having the Chosen One's dick in them? I'm not one to argue.
I guess I was too caught up in the moment that night in the Phoenix Motel. I guess I didn't think about you. I was so concentrated on the pleasure you were giving to me as you rammed into me again and again over and over. But I'm not daft; while I whined and moaned and grovelled(and you know that's low. I mean, Malfoys NEVER go "grovel, grovel, grovel." Who has ever heard of a submissive Malfoy? )I looked into your eyes. I always did. I looked into those beautiful green eyes of yours while you "fucked" me. I honestly never thought of it as fucking.
Your eyes? Instead of the dreamy-I'm-in-love-with-you eyes you normally have as you make love to me, they were a dreamy-I'm-not-here kind of look. I could tell. You weren't there; it's like you were pounding in and out of me for the hell of it. That sucked, you know. You had no idea how painful it was. But I didn't pay attention to it then. Why should I? I had a beautiful angel making love to me. I had nothing to worry.
When I came and you didn't, I passed out. Perhaps that was your plan; to tire me out. It was an hour and a half of sex. I was dead tired. Of course I was. You were always that amazing.
I woke up to you staring out the window. You had your boxers on(it was red and gold. You were always a supporter of that damn house of yours) and appeared to be deep in thought. Your glasses were dirty with dust particles and your mouth pursed.
It was adorable.
"Thinking?" I smiled and propped myself on my elbows from beneath the white sheets, stained in certain parts. I couldn't see myself, but I bet I looked awesome.
"Kinda." The reply was short..and not sweet at all. It was cold. Mean. Loveless.
"I have to leave you." Those 5 words broke my heart. You seem to be somewhat indifferent.
You looked at me, I remembered. Your eyes seemed puffy and you had black circles under your eyes. It's as if you had cried your emotions out… as if you had no other emotion besides hate right now. As if you stayed up all night not doing anything but stare and cry and think.
"Harry…" Instead of getting your attention, you looked away.
"Don't call me that."
"Shut up, Malfoy." You haven't called me that in 3 years, ever since we started dating when we finished our 7th year. "I am leaving you."
"Why? What the fuck did I do? I swear, if it's about my inactivity in bed then I'm fucking sorry cause I can't handle your awesomeness." I was mad. Of course I was. If Harry didn't calm me down when I was sad, then I'd get pissed. Always did.
"It's not that. Fuck, Malfoy, why would I fucking care about you in bed?" Ouch. "I am leaving you…" You paused, as if you were so scared I would start crying. "For Ginny."
"You said you didn't love her!"
"I… uhh… I lied."
"You didn't! You told me after the first time we had sex that you didn't love Weasley. You said you loved her as a sister! And we ALL know that you're fucking honest after sex."
"You love me, Harry James Potter. You love me, Draco Malfoy." I was out of bed by then, grabbing you by that fucking necklace I bought you with a lion curled around a snake, sleeping. Peaceful. "You love me." I was close to crying. Cry. God. I've gotten soft around him. "You love me. You said so.. You told me…"
"I know what I told you, Draco Malfoy."
"Then?" I was shaking, crying, close to begging now.
"… I'm still leaving."
"Yeah, THAT'S persuasive!"
"You can't stop me."
I was grabbing you by your necklace and your hair, pulling as the tears that had threatened to fall started to slip from my eyes down my cheek. "Please… Don't leave me."
"I-I love you."
"I don't anymore."
I watched you silently as you picked up your stuff and put on your shirt. As you prepared yourself to look decent before you walked.
Then you were heading towards the door, backpack on your back. Those 5 minutes flew by. You looked back, I remembered…
It's been 2 weeks, 3 hours, 3 minutes and 35..36..37 seconds since you walked out of my life. But who's counting?
I've been in my room(the room I haven't been in for almost 4 years) for all that time, with Mother's worried servants sending up food I barely ate.
I hate you. I hate you so much. Why would you leave me? Why would you leave me for that Weasley girl? Why not me? Why am I not so perfect?
But then… I can't hate you… I love you. You know that. I've seen you outside my house sometime with that Ginny. I love you still. You look so different now. More… mature, perhaps. I miss you. Of course I do. I miss the way you run your fingers through my hair and how you'd touch your scar when you reminisce of the tragedy that was the war. I miss how you'd kiss me and tell me you would love me until the world ends.
What about Ginny? What does she feel when she feels with you? How were you suppose to be in heterosexual sex?
I hope she doesn't feel the same pleasure as I do when you make love to me. Hell, I hope she steps on a fucking piece of Lego brick thing. Fucking cunt.
I miss you… I miss everything about you…
And after 339 hours of thinking, I finally think, "What's the use in remembering all these shit?"
You've forgotten me by now. Why shouldn't I forget you? If I can't have you all to myself, then I might as well think I had not known you at all. I should forget how soft your hair feels and how green your eyes are and how beautiful and loving you are.
"Pansy, I need you to do something for me." I called her, the bitch. My only friend that I can talk to now.
"Good to know you're alive."
"Can you come here?"
"I need you to Obliviate me."
"Why the fuck would I do that?"
" 'Cause you're my friend."
"… What should I make you forget?"
A silence. Hesitation.
"I'll do it."
A.N : EPILOGUE NEXT.