I'm Losing You

Summary: Nathan/Audrey implied. As Nathan watched Chris' hand close around Audrey's, he finally realised what he was losing. Spoilers for 4x05. Oneshot ficlet.

Sadly I don't own Haven, it belongs to SyFy and Stephen King. If I did own it, I would have renewed it for a third season already!


He had seen precious little of Audrey lately and he was beginning to notice how much he had come to rely on her presence, especially with his father gone. Losing his father had made him appreciate how fragile life is and how quickly it can be extinguished. It also made him regret the way he had often treated his father. Now, he would give anything to see him fit and well, and in one piece, once again. This renewed appreciation for life and the people in it had caused Nathan to begin questioning his feelings for Audrey and how deep they really were. Was she just his partner; his friend? Why was it that her touch was the first one he had felt in so long? Was he part of the reason she had made a life for herself hear in Haven rather than returning to her job with the FBI?

What Nathan really wanted was to talk to her about it all, openly and honestly. He had planned to do it too, but then Chris had happened. Chris who made everybody like him, except Audrey, who liked him regardless. Why him, and why now, Nathan wanted to know. The way his hand had closed almost possessively over Audrey's had caused something to break inside of him and he had been experiencing a hollow feeling in his chest ever since. If he hadn't been feeling so upset and useless, he would have smiled at the irony that he would rather Audrey was spending time getting closer to Duke Crocker than Chris. And Nathan hated Duke Crocker, didn't he?

Nathan had known Duke Crocker all of his life, knew him better than most people; probably knew him too well in fact. From Audrey's arrival in Haven he had been worried that she would fall for Duke's bad boy charm and, for a while, he had been certain than she had. Now he would have been almost relieved to find out that Duke and Audrey were becoming more than friends. Despite everything Duke had put him through and his less than legal means of making a living, Nathan knew that a good man lurked beneath the exterior. Although he felt that it was indeed himself who belonged with Audrey Parker, he could probably have coped with Duke being the man for her. Chris, though, he did not trust at all. He tried to convince himself that this lack of trust was to do with something other than the man's feelings for Audrey and the way she was reciprocating them.

Nathan picked up his cell phone from the desk beside him and called Audrey's number from his speed dial. It rang and rang, and he waited becoming less and less patient.

"Damnit Audrey, pick up." He muttered as it continued to ring, finally switching to her voicemail service in said.

Nathan hung up without leaving a message, not knowing what he would have said anyway. With a sigh, he put his head in his hands. It didn't take a police officer to put two and two together and work out that Audrey wasn't answering her phone because she was with Chris. The thought made him feel sick to his stomach.

As he locked up the office for the night and headed home, he made a promise to himself. When Chris let Audrey down and they broke up, which Nathan believed was inevitable; he would tell her how he felt about her regardless of the consequences.