Well, this is only a One-Shot. My other story isn't much of a Romance and I was in a mushy mood.
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TEEN TITANS
I was stupid to believe anyone would ever love me.
I feel the warm tears fall gently down my left cheek, I let them.
I look down at the white book in my hands; the memories of the past few days come streaming back.
I know he was only pretending to have feelings for me, just for his own gain, but it was real to me.
He had used to me. This was why I kept my emotions under control so mishaps like this would never happen. That's also probably the reason it did happen. I had kept all my emotions locked up and never expressed, so one ounce of affection thrown my way I would crumble and succumb to it.
He had been perfect. Everything I could have possibly wanted. Then again how do I know what I want? I've never allowed myself to even think about a relationship. The only ideas I have on love is from the books I read. Irony can be cruel. Then again I suppose the love in romance novels is highly exaggerated.
The tears were rolling off my chin and falling onto the book. Making small droplets on the cover, good, he can feel my pain.
I kneel down and place the book on my knees while I open the giant chest. I place the book inside, it's almost poetic, Malchior is to remain locked in this chest for all eternity, alone. And I'm going to remain locked inside my own emotions, never to feel, also alone.
For a moment I stare at the book, maybe I should just destroy him, would save me a lot of trouble, now every time I see this chest I'll be reminded of him, simply knowing he's still there will be enough to stir these painful memories.
Out of all the emotions I have why is love the only one that hurts?
I think about the titans, my friends, but mostly Robin and Starfire.
It's obvious they have feelings for each other. I know it's wrong to be jealous, but I am a girl after all.
I wish I was more like Starfire. She's beautiful, people don't care she's an alien from a distant planet, all they see is her breasts.
"A lock of hair from a beautiful girl." Malchior says with a gentle tone, looking into Raven's eyes.
"Beautiful?" She says, completely took off guard.
I stand and look at myself in my full length mirror. Why do I even have one of these? I compare myself to her, her full breasts and slim toned waist. Her curves, her long auburn hair and tanned skin only amplify her beauty.
Yet when people see me, all they see is a half demon who has no heart.
Short violet hair, seems to only draw attention to the fact I'm... different. My pale grey skin doesn't help either. Colourless no life, no blushing cheeks or pouted red lips. Along with my shapeless figure, I'm not exactly the typical view of beauty.
It's not difficult to see why Robin has fallen for her. He's like every other man. He wants her. I hate being an empath, feeling what they feel, love, desire, and lust. I can sense it, whenever their near each other.
Her overly happy and heart-felt demeanour is what makes me different from me.
Unlike Starfire I have no hourglass figure; I don't have a smile that lightens up any room. I don't turn heads and I'm defiantly not beautiful.
I'm interrupted by a knock at my door. It's quiet. I almost missed it. I keep silent; I'm not in the mood for Cyborg's and Beast Boy's antics, or Starfire's over enthusiasm.
"Raven?" Beast Boy, I'm half tempted to tell him to go away. But I don't.
He sounds upset. "It's me. Look. I'm sorry." I'm temporarily shocked.
"For what? You're not the one who..." I look down, the thought of Malchior and my stupidity makes my voice tremble, I will not allow him to see me like this.
"No. I'm sorry that... he broke your heart." I've never heard him talk with this kind of tone, he sounds genuine and caring. I can feel myself calming.
"I know it was all a lie. But he was the only one who made me feel like I wasn't... creepy." I know that it was low to say that, but he needs to understand how I feel. I can sense his emotions, Guilt. I now regret saying that. I know he's going to try and make me feel better but that would involve him lying "...And don't try and tell me I'm not."
"Okay, fine. You're way creepy..." he pauses, I wait patiently, I want to know what he says. Why do I care what he thinks so much? And then it hits me. He's been through this before.
"But that doesn't mean you have to stay locked in your room..." I feel an emotion radiating off him. I've never felt it before. Affection. He cares about me. I'm so confused. "You think you're alone Raven... But you're not." He wants to be here for me. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't flattered.
My thoughts turn to the green changeling; He's the only person to ever show more than a little interest in me. Even before Malchior, he always wanted to get me involved, to open up to the team. At first I thought his persistency was only to annoy. Now I see he just wanted to be near me, I can sense the affection he feels for me.
I feel the ache in my heart fade, this heart break feeling evaporating. I smile, yet I feel different, this ache I had seems to have turned into somewhat of warmth deep inside.
I have feelings for Beast Boy.
I can't believe it. In all honesty I'm not all that surprised by my epiphany. I should have realised last year. The way I never trusted Terra, I was jealous, but never knew it. Why I was so angry at her when she broke his heart. I even threatened her when she was about to kill him.
I look up at my door, I want him to burst in and wrap his arms around me. Yet he's trying to do I he thinks I want. I always tell him to stay out. And the one time I actually want to ignore my wishes, he doesn't.
I know if I don't say anything or do something he'll walk away, and a perfect moment will slip from my grasp.
I open my door; he's still stood there, with a weak smile on his face. We stare into each other's eyes for what seems hours, but really only a matter of seconds. I can't take it anymore. I've held in my emotions for so long, all I want is to feel, to be able to care about someone so much that their constantly on my mind. That every time I see their smiling face my heart skips a beat.
I practically fall onto him, my arms wrap around his neck. And I hold on, as though he's the only thing keeping me alive. Much to my disappointment he doesn't reciprocate my actions. He's shocked, and he's not the only one. Out of all my friends I expected him the least to be the one to see me break my hard exterior.
I can feel his heart beat against my chest, its fast and haphazard. The feel of another person against my body is like nothing I've ever experienced. Yes, I've been hugged before, but it's usually rough and quickly disregarded.
He puts his hands on my shoulders and pushes me away. He's rejecting me. I feel my heart ache again.
"Uh..." I try not to think about all the things that could be the reason for him to disregard my affection. (A/N NO CYBORG! :D) he looks nervous, his eyes are darting around the hallway, he can't find the right way put me down. He's got too much of a kind heart to be cruel.
"Well, that was... unexpected." He chuckles. Trust him to try and lighten the mood. Sighing I decide to save myself from further embarrassment and turn to run back into my room.
I can't believe I allowed myself to hug him.
I can feel the tears prying to come out, I try to hold them back, and it fails. But I feel a gentle hand on my arm preventing me from moving closer into my room.
"Raven, wait..." His voice is soft, I melt whenever he speaks so gently, I turn but refuse to look into his eyes. I find a small dirt scuff on the floor, I stare at that, I don't need to hear another man I care about tell me why I'm not worthy of love.
I feel him move closer, he lifts my chin with his hand so I'm forced to look at him. I see no hatred, no disgust, not even fear. I gaze into his emerald eyes and see love. He leans in, I'm treading on forbidden territory, I can hear my heart thumping in my chest.
He pushed his chest against mine, I stepped back to lean against the wall for support. His breath was warm on my face; he was so close, going where no man had gone before. I'm scared, there's so many questions, what if he doesn't like it? What if someone sees us? What if I lose control?
Then, that spark, that nip of electricity I have read about. As I feel his soft lips press against mine; all my fears seem to melt with his kiss. I close my eyes and rely on touch alone. He places a hand on the back of my head and the other around my waist. He's stronger than I thought, holding me tightly as I had to him only moments before.
He parts his lips and we start in a complex dance that only involves our mouths. We seem to meld together, moving as one. The wet sounds of mouths moving smoothly against each other.
I can feel the hairs on my arms begin to stand on end, as his tongue glides along my bottom lip, begging for acceptance. I feel as though I'm going to explode as he deepens the kiss. I wrap my arms around his neck, with one hand I stroke the back of his head, his hair is like silk, I find myself fondling his hair like an obsessive fan girl.
Because he had his body pressed against mine I could feel his manhood getting increasingly harder. He removes the hand he had on my head and ran it down my waist before grabbing onto my thigh. Rubbing it gently, I raised it so it was draped over him. He pressed his member harder into my inner thigh. We start to slowly move together, like our lips had before, our bodies joined in the dance of passion.
Our breathing was becoming more rasped and quicker. We were getting carried away. I knew we should stop before this escalated into something neither of us were ready for, but I couldn't. I never wanted this to end.
I had finally found a man I could care about so much that he was going to be constantly on my mind. I had finally found a man that every time I saw his toothy smiling face my heart would skip a beat.
I was stupid to believe anyone would never love me.
Not sure if I want to continue this further. What do you think? Read and review please GP x