Hello, lovely and beautiful people!

I'll keep my A/N short this time (haha!) so we'll go directly to the point here.

I finally summed up the courage to do a Nikita multi-chapter fic. But I'll start with baby steps so this will only be three chapters. And for the mean time, the story and the first chapter will start off with a T rating, but when I post the second chapter, it's gonna change to M (ho ho! *wink wink*). So if anyone doesn't want to continue reading by then, that's alright… I'm actually scared to know what you guys are gonna think of the next chappie. Seriously. Hahaha.

So anyway! Just like in my other stories, there will be an actual line taken from the series in which the story will be based on. But this time, there will be two lines per chapter – one at the beginning, and one at the end. It'll be a mix of lines from different episodes so… tell me if it fits and works! :)

Oh, and THANK YOU so much to all the people who read and reviewed my other stories. They're just so inspiring and heartwarming.

Well, that's it for now. Nothing more but to scroll down and read! Enjoy!


"The only time I ever questioned your loyalty was during your relationship with Nikita." – 1x06

Chapter 1: Hang-ups

Las Vegas bored Michael.

He didn't specifically know why. Probably because he's seen people waste their life away for greed; and in his line of work, greed made a person a step closer to being as dead as a doornail. Or probably because he's seen people who have become instant millionaires overnight and poor as a pauper the next day. Or probably because the place just poses a certain temptation to all those who walk in its multi-lighted roads. Or probably because this is just his nth visit to the place because of a mission.

Either way, it was just the same old story everytime.

And yet, what amazed him, people are still so gullible to the charm of the place. They just never learn.

Well, he thought, the place didn't get the name Sin City for nothing.

And he did not want anything more to do with the place as he already had too many sins that he could ever atone for in his lifetime.

But then again, who was he to judge on all those people?

Especially when he can barely stay away from his temptation.

"You look stressed."

Speak of the Devil

Michael swiveled his barstool around to the direction of the owner of the voice. A warm smile greeted him and that alone could have chiseled away part of his burden. But then seeing her outfit of an elegant one-shouldered, silver sequined cocktail dress that hugged all the right places and her patent black heels made him feverish. Turning back to face the bar, Michael commented, "I feel stressed."

"Aww," he heard Nikita say as she took up the seat to his right, "talk to me."

"Forget about it, Nikita," he said softly, swirling the scotch in his glass. He took a swig, finishing its contents, letting the warmth of the alcohol spread through his body. He wasn't that much of a heavy drinker but he did have a high tolerance against getting drunk. In fact, he couldn't even remember a specific memory where he was passed-out-drunk. Not even after the death of his family. He just didn't see the point of wallowing in one's sadness with alcohol.

Or maybe it was just his too-many-sins-that-he-can-atone-for theory again.

Because alcohol can make a person do stupid things.

"Vodka please, double."

Michael raised an eyebrow to his partner. Always the hard drinks, he thought. But one thing he had to give her, the woman drank like a man when she needed to be. She had such a high tolerance to alcohol that it amazed him. In fact, when he thought about it, he never saw his ex-student drunk before. Tipsy, yes, but never drunk.

When her ordered arrived, he watched as Nikita took the shot glass and drank its contents in one gulp. She closed her eyes for a moment as the heat from the drink seared her throat and the smell of the alcohol burned inside her nose.

She was always so full of surprises.

"Thank you, by the way," he told her as another round of scotch arrived in his hands.

A crease formed in between her eyebrows as her eyes fluttered open to gaze at him, "For what?"

"For saving the mission," he told her, "If it had been any other agent, everything could have gone sideways."

"Well," she smiled at him, "any other agent didn't have an excellent mentor like I did."

He smiled back at her. It was true though. If it had been any other agent, Michael didn't know what could've happened. Probably him getting buried six feet below the ground. If it wasn't for Nikita's quick thinking and superb tradecraft skills, their newly accomplished mission, one that they have planned for for months could've went down the drain in mere seconds. All because a few unexpected guards decided to play Hero Of The Day. Michael was pretty proud at the moment for training Nikita so well.

"Miss, would you care to dance?"

Michael and Nikita looked over their shoulder and saw this naïve and innocent looking man smiling at the latter. Dressed up for the glitzy setting in which they were in, he was rather good-looking, if you preferred the Ethan Hunt kind of guy.

Michael rolled his eyes as he turned back to the bar. This was one thing he had to tend with whenever Nikita was present. Other men approaching to buy her a drink, asking her to dance, and whatnot. Not that he could blame them. Apart from her physical beauty, Nikita just exuded this charm that just draws people in when she walks into a room. She was also smart, cheerful, sweet, funny, deadly… So many things that he could list that made her the ultimate honey trap.

But for every man that went up to her, it was another mark against him. Another person that he envied. Because they could do things with her that he could not do. Not without a multi-million black ops program to hunt them down.

Out of the corner of his eye, he watched as Nikita gave the man a heart-melting smile and said, "Oh, I would love to but it's just that," she paused and placed her hand on Michael's back, causing him to stiffen slightly. She said in a low voice, "my friend here is going through such a rough break-up, and I don't want to leave him here all alone."

Michael swallowed the last contents of his glass. He reached up and loosened his bowtie. It was getting warm and Nikita's hand on his back wasn't helping. The corner of his lips went slightly up. So, he thought, she was letting the guy down easy.

"Well, if you ever want to have some fun, I'll just be over there."

"I know," she chimed at him. When the man left, Nikita swiveled back to face the bar and said, softly, "God, I hate him."

Michael raised an eyebrow at her. This wasn't her usual reaction. After a request like that, she would normally say something that she liked about the person, and how she would have liked to go, consistently rubbing it in Michael's face that someone wanted her. Nikita never usually passed judgment on people.

"Something bothering you?" He asked her.

She met his gaze for a moment before letting it drop to her newly refilled shot glass. It was brief but Michael saw the turmoil behind Nikita's brown eyes. She sighed, as if the whole world was on her shoulders, "I'm sick of it."

Michael shifted in his seat, turning his body towards her. A crease furrowed in between his eyebrows. "Of what?"

"Of this!" Nikita exclaimed in a whisper. She brought down a fist on the bar and shook the counter, earning surprised stares from other patrons and the bartender. But she didn't mind them. She threw another look at Michael and said, exasperatedly, "How… we live, lying to people and ourselves, going from beautiful places to another but never really enjoying it... Everything's just a fake."

"Nikita," he said, surprised at the sudden change in her attitude. Placing a gentle hand on her knee, he tried to reassure her, "we do what we do to protect–"

"I know!" Nikita replied, pushing Michael's hand away. She was losing control of her anger and it was seeping through her voice. She tightened the grip on her shot glass till her knuckles turned white. "But who protects us?"

"That's why we have each other."

"Yeah," Nikita scoffed indignantly, "till the next mission."

"Where is all this coming from?" He asked her.

She looked up and stared beyond his right shoulder. He followed her gaze and saw that it was the man from earlier. The one who asked her to dance. As if on cue, the man looked up and when he saw that Nikita's stare was onto him, he gave a small wink. As Nikita replied with a humorless smile, the little green-eyed monster within Michael threatened to thrash at that point.

Michael gritted his teeth as he turned his attention back to Nikita. She gazed into his eyes, searching for his real emotions. And she saw what she anticipated: jealousy. After a tense moment, Michael blinked, replacing his expression with an emotionless one, "So what's your point?"

"He only asked me because he thought you and I weren't together." Nikita reasoned softly, swiveling her chair so that her back was against the counter. She watched as the other patrons were dancing so gracefully to the melodious classical music coming from hidden speakers all around. How she envied those who were laughing, throwing their cares in the air and not giving a damn. How she wanted to be like them. How she wanted to spend time, this night in this beautiful place, with the man she loved. Yes, she admitted it already that she loved him… he was just so near, just an arm's length.

"We aren't."

So near it hurt.

"I know," she hissed. She gave Michael a steely look out of the corner of her eye, "But that's it. No one would believe it."

"I believe –"

"You said so yourself in St. Petersburg that no one would buy that I was date-less," she interrupted him, turning to face him directly this time. "Or single, for that matter. I wish I wasn't. Not for a mission. For real. For once, I just want to be… normal."

Michael sighed. He knew what Nikita felt. He felt it too at times. Actually, even more now than ever. He wanted to live a life as normally as the next person, with Nikita by his side. No more guns, no more killing, no more lying… God only knows how much he wanted that. And also because he had finally come to accept the fact that he might actually need her in his life.

But, he had a promise, a duty. To his country, to his family, to Percy, and to his self… And no matter how much he cared for Nikita at that point, no matter what he wanted, maybe… maybe it just wasn't meant to be. He told her firmly, "That can't happen."

Nikita knew Michael long enough to know that he was going to say something like that. She anticipated this. She expected it but still, it didn't lessen the hurt. Her perfectly made-up face may have remained stoic but her eyes said it all. Michael saw it too but he kept silent. It clawed him in the inside but he had to do it. For both of their sakes.

"I know that too." Nikita whispered softly. All the sadness, anger, hate and hurt she felt went into those two words. She hoped that by letting go of the words, the feelings she harbored would go along with it and leave her in peace. But she found no solace in that.

And so did Michael.

He knew he hurt Nikita so much this time. She was just being honest with him. Just as she had always been. He had been honest with her too… in St. Petersburg. A year has gone by since then and he had distanced his self from her. Hoping that with the detachment, he'd be able to focus on building a professional wall between them. She tried her best to keep in line too, he was grateful of her for that. But there were times when she'd fall back and tease and flirt with him. Nothing more though. She didn't push him to the edge because she knew he still held onto a raw scar that had yet to be healed.

But no matter how hard Michael tried to put up a barrier, everything worked against him to bring it down. Division, even Percy, didn't help. He kept on sending the two of them on missions, local and overseas, this past year. The two of them were an invincible tandem, as Percy would say. But he was oblivious – or so Michael hoped and prayed – to the underlying current that went underneath the two of them.

It's been a long year.

Nevertheless, Michael had to admit, he and Nikita did make the perfect pair. Perfect, beautiful… yet deadly.

Like a honey trap.

And like a honey trap, once you're in, there's no going back.

Michael looked at Nikita, who had turned back to watch the waltzing people with a dejected expression in her eyes. How could he ever say no to a woman like her? She was Nikita. Stunning, strong, independent, iron-willed Nikita who only wanted him to love her. He should've considered himself lucky. A murderer like him shouldn't have been allowed to have someone as caring as Nikita.

But could he be really the one to love her enough?

Did he still have place in his fragmented heart to give her what she wanted?

Of course he did. Even if he couldn't admit it to anyone, not even to his self, deep inside, he was alone too. Waiting for someone to help make him whole again. If only he'd learn to let go and give in…


Michael thought for a second. It's been a long time. After all he's done in service to Division, he deserved a break, didn't he? Nikita deserved one too, for many things and at the very least, for saving his life earlier. Ever since St. Petersburg, they needed a chance to become vulnerable again, to feel what it was like to be human again. Why couldn't they have this one night to themselves? Enjoy it and be normal for once in what seemed to be ages ago?

Even if there would be a limit to what they'd do tonight, he could, however, give Nikita a dance. He owed her one anyway.

After drinking the contents of his refilled scotch glass, which has turned bland as the ice already melted due to his neglect of it, Michael stood up. He stepped in front of Nikita's line of sight, earning a questioning yet annoyed look from her. One side of Michael's lip lifted as he offered a hand towards her, palm up. An invitation. A request.

For forgiveness.

For normalcy.

For an indulgence.

For love.

For one night.

"I like this song," he told her.

Nikita hesitated for a moment, unsure of what this all meant. Then she blinked and gave a nod and a small smile. She placed her hand in Michael's awaiting palm and slid off the barstool. He returned her smile as he led her to the dance floor.

Moon River,

Wider than a mile,

I'm crossing you in style,


He slipped one hand on Nikita's slender waist as she placed one on his shoulder and their other hands clasped together and held up just slightly away from their shoulders. They swayed gently to the music, letting go of their worries and succumbing to the melody. Nikita stepped closer and leaned her chin on her hand that was on Michael's shoulder. Maybe happiness wasn't that so far away yet.

Oh, dream maker,

You heartbreaker,

Wherever you're goin',

I'm going your way

Michael gently twirled Nikita in his arms. She let out a small giggle. A smile replaced both of their hardened lips and heart. They both enjoyed this. They both needed this.

Two drifters,

Off to see the world,

There's such a lot of world,

To see

Nikita let out another little laugh as Michael dipped her to the floor so low that the ends of her long hair were about to touch the floor. But he held her securely that she wasn't afraid. Whether it was secured to her body or to her heart, it didn't matter.

We're after the same rainbow's end,

Waiting 'round the bend,

My huckleberry friend,

Moon River and me

The song ended but Nikita and Michael didn't let go yet. They held on to each other. The DJ spoke into the microphone about changing the genre of the songs now but they didn't notice.

Hey, over there,

Please forgive me,

If I'm coming on too strong

They relished in the moment because they haven't been this close to each other in such a long time.

Hate to stare,

But you're winning,

And they're playing my favorite song

Nothing was said in between them but they could feel the openness and vulnerability of and for the other.

So come near, a little closer,

Wanna whisper in your ear,

Make it clear, a little question,

Wanna know just how you feel

It wasn't long before they noticed that the crowd around them changed. It was now more of people their age or younger. Most of them were drunk. The two of them have been out of society for so long that they didn't know how to act normally around these people. Just being themselves. So Michael decided to take Nikita's hand and get out of the dance floor before things got out of hand.

If I said my heart was beating loud,

If we could escape the crowd somehow,

If I said I want your body now,

Would you hold it against me?

But Nikita didn't budge. Michael looked at her over his shoulder and he froze. She looked at him with a rather feral look in her darkened eyes. She was biting the inside of her lower lip as it slowly formed into a mischievous smirk.

'Coz you feel like paradise,

And I need a vacation tonight,

If I said I want your body now,

Would you hold it against me?

Nikita closed the gap in between them in two strides. She placed a hand on the center of Michael's chest and looked in to his eyes. Her hypnotizing gaze captured and kept his attention and focus. He could only watch her helplessly as she suddenly went down on him, swaying her hips sensuously slow to the music and dragging her hand in a deliberate, enticing zigzag manner along his body.

Hey, you might think,

That I'm crazy,

It was getting hot. Under the feel of her fingers, Nikita could only imagine what she felt: a taut chest, ridged abdomen, strong muscles that any woman could just lust for in her time of need…

But you know I'm just your type

Michael's breath got caught in his throat as Nikita made past his navel. He had to stop her before she got any lower, before he lost all of his control. She was seducing him and he was letting her. But did he have the strength to stop her when he wanted it too?

I might be a little hazy,

But you just cannot deny,

There's a spark in between us,

When we're dancing on the floor

But just as she reached Michael's silver belt buckle, Nikita stopped. She looked up at him and saw his restrained expression. She leered. Her eyes shone a playful yet shamelessly lascivious glint that Michael found so… incredibly sexy.

Give me more,

I want to see it,

So I'm asking you tonight

Nikita inhaled through gritted teeth as she slid her body upward to stand fully, pressing her whole body to Michael's as she did so. As her nose finally brushed lightly against his, Michael couldn't help but notice the closeness of their warm bodies. Thigh to thigh, hip to hip, chest to chest…

His eyes darkened as they strayed to her alluring, slightly parted red lips, so dangerously near his that all he needed was to close the gap. Their alcohol-laced breath that grazed their each other's lips was ragged with all the suppressed tension and intimacy. He raised his gaze slowly, memorizing each tiny feature, to meet hers. As their eyes met, everything was lost.

If I said my heart was beating loud,

If we could escape the crowd somehow,

They moved to each other simultaneously. Eyes fluttered to a close, skins tingled, breathings hitched, heartbeats raced, lips touched…

If I said I want your body now,

Would you hold it against me?

But at the contact, Michael's conscience woke and senses wracked his body, squeezing his heart in two. He withdrew quickly, still closing his eyes, gasped for breath. Nikita felt the sudden change and opened her eyes to watch him. She saw the pain in his face and it hurt her too. She quickly feared that she may have just pushed him too far this time.

He was guilty.

He promised to his self that he'd never get close to another person until he got his revenge on Kasim. No, not even that. He told Elizabeth that there'd be no other woman besides her. He told her that just before she died...

Cheater. How could he do this to her?

When Michael opened his eyes, he saw Nikita looking at him with a concerned look on her face. This made him more miserable too. She didn't deserve this. She deserved more. He had to leave. Sending an apologetic look her way, he left the dance floor. Making his way by weaving through other bodies, he left her there alone.

'Coz you feel like paradise,

And I need a vacation tonight,

She was feeling guilty too.

When Michael looked at her, she saw all the pain and turmoil behind his eyes. She should've helped him with and not have made it worse. She watched his retreating back as he left. A sob was forming in her chest. She pushed him away. Just like she did with all the other people who cared for her before.

No. Not this time.

She left the dance floor and caught up with him just as he was about to leave the club. Closing her hand on his wrist, she tugged. He stopped and looked at her.

"I can't." He said.

"I know," she told him. "I'm sorry."

Those two words. Michael faced her, his eyebrows knitting together. She shouldn't be sorry. It wasn't her fault that he was damaged beyond repair, "No, Nikita, you're not –"

"Forget what happened." She placed a finger on his lips to silence him, "It's over and done. Just… Have a drink with me."

"I don't think that's such a good –"

A waiter carrying a tray of champagne passed by them, Nikita took two flutes from his silver salver. The man was about to protest but Nikita flashed a smile at him so he decided to keep quiet instead and went on his way, shaking his head. Holding up her newly acquired flute to Michael, she said, "One last. Please? Nothing more, I swear."

Michael eyed the sparkling wine for a moment, doubtful. He didn't want to add to the damage he has already done this evening. This push and pull of emotions was tiring the both of them. He looked at Nikita's hopeful expression and found himself being sucked in again.

What the heck, he thought, it's not like one drink could hurt any more. He may not be able to say no to her but he had to remember the limitations this time. He took the flute gently into his hand and led her to a vacant table.

One more indulgence, one more sin… it couldn't hurt, right?

If I said I want your body now,

Would you hold it against me?

They kept true to the each other's request and forgot about the earlier incident. They drank, talked, laughed, and joked all night... Things they would've normally done if circumstances were different, if everything wasn't so complicated.

But they never really learned that one night will never be enough.

As well as one drink will never be enough.

Would you hold it against me?

So one drink led to another…

The room was spinning. It was getting hot. So vivid were the colors. Everything was so alive.

And another…

Red. Black. Red. Black. Red. "Red, 13."

And another…

"Let's go."

And another…

"That one."

And another…

"I do."

And another…

The sound of a gun cocking rang in the midnight air. "Get us there or I swear, I'll blow your head off."

And another…

"Just shut up and kiss me already."

"She always was the ultimate honey trap." – 1x14

Dun dun dun dun~

Was the last part confusing? If it was, I'm sorry. But I promise it'll all be explained in due time.

So how was it for a first chapter? (Personally, I thought it was a bit long and ohhhh the drama. Hahaha!)

But I want YOUR opinion! So please do leave a review! Bad or good, they're always welcomed!

The songs used in this chapter: Moon River by Andy Williams (such an old song), and Hold It Against Me by Britney Spears. Though for the last song, I recommend Sam Tsui's cover. I was listening to it while writing this. No offense to Britney, but the cover is like, waaaaay better. Well, for me anyway. And it suits this chapter better too. ;)

And lastly, Shane won in the TCAs – woo hoo! So a big CONGRATULATIONS to him! He totally deserved it! :) Maggie should've won too but… I don't really know why some people chose a 66 year old lady over the Maggie Q, the Ultimate BAMF.

Ugh, the injustice.

Okay, shutting up now. So Thanks for reading and please review! Pretty please? And hopefully, I'll be able to post the next chapter *gulp* soon.

xx Dani