There is a big cardboard box sitting on one of the shelves in my closet, and it was practically staring at me. It is a box that is similar to others that many other women have kept after a difficult breakup.
As women, for some fucked up reason, we enjoy holding onto things that make us remember the good times we had with the one who broke our heart.
Some put pictures in their boxes, some keep jewelry or other gifts they had been given inside those four tiny walls. While others might keep a t-shirt or sweatshirt that had belonged to their lover because it still smelled like them.
Sure, mine held most of those things but what occupied the majority of its space was a huge picture frame I put in there over three years ago.
It wasn't just an ordinary picture frame, although you could buy one similar to it at any of the local discount stores. It held a special place in my heart as it was a handmade wooden frame he made for me six years ago. You see, we had known each other for almost two decades. My dad lived only a block from his family in Forks, Washington. So really we had always been a part of each other's lives from the very start.
Over the years you accumulate things; pictures, memories, gifts etc. But he and I were different. It was as if from the first moment we met, we were destined to be together. He was my first kiss, at age four thank you very much, and also my first real love.
We had many things in common, one being what this picture frame contained. It was a gift he had put together for me the last Christmas we spent together. However, we would have never dreamed it would be our last…
It had been a very stormy, winter day and I was practically jumping through the snow to get back to my house. Emmett and Jasper were out doing some last minute Christmas shopping and I had, for some reason, volunteered to help Charlie shovel some of the snow to make room for his car. Even after two hours of shoveling, there was at least another five inches that had fallen. In Forks, you had to continuously shovel just to keep up with the snowfall. Anything short of that was basically a lost cause.
After I finally got inside, I got in the shower quickly and found whatever I could to wear to his house tonight. It was Christmas Eve and he wanted to exchange our presents tonight instead of tomorrow as it had become a tradition of sorts with us.
I grabbed his present I had wrapped the night before from atop my desk and ran out the door to start the ten minute walk to his house.
When we first started dating we timed the distance between his house and mine so we knew the maximum time on the clock we could stay wrapped up in each other's arms.
I knew he had been waiting for me when I got there because the door opened before my finger could reach the doorbell.
When I saw his face I couldn't help but get chills throughout my entire body. His smile was breathtaking and his eyes were so deep it felt as though you were looking into his soul. He rushed me in from the cold and took my coat.
I breathed in the aroma that his house held and smiled; I was forever enveloped with a feeling of belonging and home when I stepped through the doors of his home.
His Mother, Esme, rushed over to me and gave me a hug. She was the most adorable person I had ever met. Here she was on Christmas Eve in her apron that was adorned with gingerbread men. Her fingers had cookie dough wrapped around them and she had flour on her cheeks.
She had become like my mother over the years. With my mom living far away and out on her own life adventures with her husband Phil, I was left without a mother and had a father who didn't know what the hell to do with me.
Ushering me into the kitchen, I was greeted by Edward's older sister Rosalie and his younger sister Alice. It shocked me how close everyone was in age. Alice was a year younger than us and Rosalie was two years older.
Rosalie and my brother Emmett had started dating in junior high and at age 21 they had gotten married.
It was weird to not have Emmett living in the house anymore, but with my twin brother Jasper, life was never dull.
I looked over at Edward and he looked anxious. I took his hand in reassurance and he squeezed my hand, nodding towards the stairs.
We excused ourselves from the kitchen and went upstairs to his room. He shut the door and placed his hands over my eyes whispering in my ear to not speak. I giggled in agreement and let him guide me through his room. We stopped at what I soon learned to be his bed and he sat me down.
Taking his hands off of my eyes he told me to keep them shut as he got up to go get the gift he had waiting for me.
In what seemed like forever he finally returned and asked me to open my eyes. I did and they settled on a picture frame. He had taken all of the ticket stubs we had collected over the years and put them in order underneath the glass of the frame. Aside from the ones we got from going to concerts and movies, we had started collecting ones from famous events in history.
I smiled at his thoughtfulness and wrapped my arms around his neck bringing him in close for a kiss. I handed him his present and when he saw the first edition book I had bought him, he returned the smile. But that's when his voice got serious. He needed to tell me something, and he assured me it wasn't something that I was going to like.
As he spoke, the words "I have to do this"….."After 9/11"….. "The army"…. "I'm leaving in two months"… "Boot camp" …These words filled the room and took my breath away.
This wasn't happening.
I reminded him we were going into our second semester of college in five weeks. He couldn't leave me now.
He shook his head at me and told me he wouldn't be going back to school. He explained he had wanted to do something for our country ever since he helplessly watched the planes hit the towers five years ago.
I shook my head with tears streaming down my face. How could he do this to me? To his family? What was going to happen? I couldn't picture him out there fighting for us.
He wiped away my tears with his thumb and told me I was the first person he had told he would and would be telling his family later. I couldn't breathe after that. I hated the war, and at the moment I hated the thought of my boyfriend leaving me because of it. We were supposed to grow old together and it killed me to think that he could be injured and not return home to me.
He asked me to stand by him as he told his family. It took some time but about an hour later I had regained myself enough to walk down the stairs to face them.
I will never forget the look on Esme's face when he told her. Her hand flew to her mouth as his Father, Carlisle, took her in his arms holding back tears of his own. They hugged each other and then all of a sudden I felt really out of place.
I left not long after that to let them discuss the situation as a family. Charlie was surprised I was home so early. I shrugged him off and climbed my way up the stairs to my room. I heard when Emmett and Jasper came home and not too long after I must have fallen asleep.
I was woken up by the sound of my window being opened. There was a ladder hidden behind the bushes that Edward had used for years to climb up and visit me at night.
I sat up rubbing my eyes as he stepped inside my window, taking his shoes and jacket off and then climbed in bed with me. His hands instantly found mine and I grabbed them holding on to them tightly. But it didn't help, because even though I had his hands in mine, it felt like they were slipping away from me.
The next two months we spent as much time with each other as we could. Almost every night entailed sneaking in and out of our houses and each other's bedrooms. We made love as often as we could. Except for the last night we were together.
That last night we spent our time lying in his bed, arms in a tight embrace and our eyes locked on one another.
We whispered as many I love you's as we could in between stolen kisses. We tried to stay awake all night because we knew as soon as our eyes opened the next day our lives were going to be forever changed.
I drove with him and his family to the bus station, Jasper and Emmett following us separately.
As we got out of the car, his hand found mine. He looked so handsome in his "going away" outfit of jeans and a white button down shirt. At that moment I couldn't help but to feel so extremely proud of him.
He kissed our hands that were entwined together as we walked over to where other families were saying goodbye to their soldiers.
I couldn't be here.
This wasn't happening; this was some sick nightmare that was taking place inside of my head. I tried pinching myself in hopes of waking up and when I didn't the tears started to well up in my eyes.
There was ten minutes before the bus was to depart and I let go of him so he could to say goodbye to his family. Hugging his sisters and kissing his mother saying how much he loved all of them. He shook hands and hugged Emmett and Jasper, and when he got to Carlisle; his Father pulled him in to a hug and told him to be safe.
His family walked away and he turned to me and ran a hand through his hair. I kept thinking how I would miss the feeling of it.
"I can't say goodbye." I said, choking on my tears.
He took me in his arms and said into my hair. "Then don't. Say 'see you later'.
I nodded and my hands flew to his hair, his arms, and his face, trying to hold on to everything and anything I could for as long as possible. He kissed my eyes, my tears, my nose and then my lips and I let myself mold into him. I pushed against him harder and closer, trying to create a permanent memory of the feeling of him against me.
He kissed me one more time and whispered "see you later" and then he was called away and I was left standing there, empty. I watched him get on his bus as Jasper came over to me and put his arms around me. He let me cry into his shoulder.
The first week without him was the first week I went back to school for my second semester. I wrote to him almost every day, needing to have some sort of connection with him. Days passed, and then weeks and when I got home from school three weeks later, there was a letter in the mail.
I dropped everything I was carrying and sat down on the road, ripping the envelope open. His words were like a breath of fresh air. He was there, he was ok and he said he loved me. That's all I really needed to know.
We continued writing to each other, almost every day for months and he even got to come home for a few days at Thanksgiving. He was home, safe and sound. But there was something different about him, and I couldn't put my finger on it.
He wasn't mine anymore. He belonged to the United States Army.
That first night he was home, I left my window open like I did every night and I waited up all night, but he never came.
His leave was only for a week, and before I knew it I had to say goodbye to him again. It was still hard as hell, but it wasn't as bad as the first time.
But this time, things were very different.
Two months went by and I had not heard from him. None of my letters answered. Every night I lay in bed crying for him. Needing him and craving contact from him.
His family hadn't heard from him either except for a quick telephone call to assure he was safe wherever he was.
Then on one spring-like day, I walked to my mailbox not really expecting anything when my heart stopped. There it was. A small little envelope was sitting inside surrounded by our other mail.
My brain screamed at me to open it and to read his words, but my heart told me otherwise. It wasn't a happy letter.
He started off by saying the entire cliché of break up lines, "I love you so much"… "It's not your fault or anything you did"… "The last thing that I want to do is hurt you." …And he continued to say he was doing this for me. He didn't think that I deserved this life; A life of waiting around for him to come home.
Emmett, Jasper and even Alice tried to make me feel better, but I knew nothing they said could fill the void that was left in my heart.
In time it got easier and I made up my mind that I had to move on with my life. After my second year in college I decided to transfer to NYU to pursue a major in Journalism. I was hoping that after I graduated from there, I would have a better chance at getting a good job and having a better future.
So here I was.
I was 22, a graduate from NYU and I landed a job at one of the biggest newspapers in New York. It was everything that I had ever wanted and my life couldn't be better.
Emmett and Rosalie had decided to move out here with me so that I wouldn't be alone. I tried to tell them that I didn't need them, but when I went apartment hunting, I realized pretty quickly I wasn't going to be able to do this on my own at first. They eventually rented a house that had an apartment over the garage for me that was located just outside of the city.
I know it was pathetic but I hadn't dated anyone since Edward. I hated the feeling I got when talking to another guy whom I knew wanted to date me. It was as though he was at home waiting for me, and I was cheating on him.
I couldn't explain it.
Since I had received that last letter from him,I hadn't really talked to him. I sent him a letter back with only one word on it; Ok. I didn't feel the need to argue with him, neither of us needed to deal with that.
And the reality was this: I still loved him. I was never going to be able to get past that.
Now I find myself standing in my closet, looking at this box that essentially held my heart. I hadn't looked at it since I had put in on the shelf in here after I had moved in. I had to face it someday right?
I sighed and wrapped my sweater closer to my body, breathing slowly in and out. Get it over with Bella! I said to myself. So I took a deep breath and I opened the box avoiding the other contents of it and reached in to get just the picture frame.
It was just as I remembered it and I couldn't help but smile. Every single square of paper had a special memory attached to it and in the middle of all of the ticket stubs; there was a picture of us taken on a snow day many years ago.
"Bella watch out!" I heard someone yell and I turned around just as a snowball flew past my face.
"Damnit Edward, I was so close!" Emmett said frustrated as he started to gather more snow in his hands.
I laughed; I could always count on Edward to look out for me. However, that didn't stop me from throwing one of the biggest snowballs I could put together at him.
"What the-"he said as he turned around to see who had thrown that. I couldn't hide the fact it was me and he smirked, surprised, "That was from you?" He asked.
I laughed and nodded and then I ran as he darted towards me. He was much quicker than I was or ever would be and he caught up with me quickly, tackling me to the ground. He was hovering over me, lying in the snow as it was falling all around us. The look on his face made me stop breathing for a moment; I was so happy to be with him.
Snow gathered in his thick hair and eyebrows and I was sure it was in my hair as well. I heard a click and we both looked over at Alice as she snapped our picture.
We laughed and looked back at each other and I smiled. "I love you" I said leaning up and kissing his nose.
He smiled, "I'm going to marry you someday Isabella" He said. And I knew he was right. There was no way that wouldn't be our future together.
I nodded and wrapped my arms around his neck, bringing his lips to mine.
And that was the picture that he chose to put in the middle of this collage of memories, the picture of our kiss after he had said he was going to marry me.
"Damnit!" I said as I felt the tears forming. I hadn't cried over him in a long time and I really had no intentions of starting today. I wiped them away feverishly and set the frame down.
I heard the phone ring and I dismissed it, not wanting to get on the phone with tears in my voice.
Twenty minutes or so later, there was a knock at the door and I thought it was going to be Rosalie to bitch about how I was being stupid about this whole thing but I was wrong.
At my door was Emmett and his eyes were red.
My mind raced with thoughts, and they all were of Edward. In seconds several scenarios raced through my head, pure torture, "What is it Emmett?" I asked not being able to stand it for much longer.
It was Alice. She was in an accident. He explained to me when she was driving home she had turned a corner too sharply and the car coming from the opposite direction hadn't been paying attention. The driver of the other car was killed instantly. Alice was in critical condition and they didn't think she was going to make it.
"Oh no, Jasper." I thought aloud, thinking about my brother who must be going out of his mind. He had stayed in Forks and moved in with Alice and I couldn't imagine the pain he must be going through. "Emmett, we have to go home." I said now crying.
Alice had always been as close to a sister as I was ever going to have and to think she might not make it was killing me.
Rosalie was in shock, out of her mind with worry for her baby sister. I helped get us packed, while Emmett was on the phone with the airlines trying to get us on the first flight out.
But by the time we arrived, it was too late.
When we got to the hospital, Jasper was sitting in a chair in the waiting room, with his head planted in his hands.
I went over to him silently and sat down next to him; putting my arm around his shoulder and pulling him close to me. He had always been there for me and now it was my turn to be there for him. "It's going to be ok Jazz." I said, not even knowing what to say. "I'm here for you Jasper, I love you."
He looked up at me with swollen eyes and put his head on my shoulder.
Facing Esme and Carlisle was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. They were in shock mostly, but now they had to deal with planning the funeral of their youngest daughter.
I stayed at home that night and slept in my old room, trying to give Jasper his space. Emmett stayed at the Cullen's with Rosalie.
I found out later that night they were trying to reach Edward to let him know what had happened. It was horrible to imagine him finding out about his sister while he was overseas.
At that moment I realized he had only a couple more months until his tour was over. His four years would be up soon and he would be home. Wouldn't he? I felt horrible when I allowed myself to get excited that he may be returning home.
I wasn't sure why I was getting excited, he had dumped me and I sure as hell wasn't going to let him off easy and pretend none of it happened.
The funeral arrangements were being made and the family was trying to postpone it as long as they could but unfortunately Edward would not be able to make it home right away so they went ahead with the decision to have the service as soon as possible.
My heart ached for his family, but what was worse was that Edward wasn't going to be able to come home to say goodbye to his sister.
The funeral was beautiful and it was so touching to see how many people had loved Alice and had wanted to pay their respects to her and her family.
Two weeks later, we had convinced Jasper to come home with us too. Charlie was never home and Jasper shouldn't be alone now. He needed to be with his family. Rosalie was suffering just as he was so we thought it would be good for them to help each other thru this. Thankfully, he agreed and we arranged to have his things shipped to him in New York.
It was going to be days until the moving truck got there, but when it finally did; we all welcomed the chaos of unpacking as a distraction.
Rosalie was handling the grief of losing her sister by throwing herself into her work. But Jasper was a mess, and who could blame him? Every night he drowned himself in alcohol and it was horrible to watch him self destruct.
Emmett said he hoped it would stop soon as this was Jasper's way of getting over her death.
About a week after we had returned home, we were having dinner and Esme called to tell Rosalie that Edward had made it home safe and he wasn't planning on reenlisting. I couldn't help but feel thankful he would be safe at home. I told Rosalie this was for the best as her parents really needed him there after what they had gone through.
After diner I went up to my apartment over the garage and stupidly checked my phone to see if there were any messages.
There wasn't and my heart sank; I hated that I allowed myself to hope for something. I threw my phone across the room, it hit the wall and although it wasn't damaged on the outside, it wouldn't even power on. That probably wasn't the best thing to do. I would have to go in tomorrow to get a new one but in order to have it covered under the insurance, when they ask me what happened, I think I'll lie and say that it just 'stopped working'.
They fucking bought it.
As I was leaving the store, I saw it was pouring rain outside. I groaned. New York was not on my side today. April Showers bring May Flowers? Yeah it fucking better with this rain.
I put my hood up and ran to my car which I of course parked three streets over. I got in and turned on the heat and the wind shield wipers as fast as they could go. I usually took the subway into the city for work but sometimes I had so many errands to do I'd drive in especially on the weekends. It's not easy carrying groceries on the train.
It took me an hour to get home on what was normally a twenty minute trip. When it rained in NYC I think people thought it gave them a right to go as slow as they wanted to without having to piss people off. They were wrong; it pissed us off even more.
When I got home Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper had left a note explaining they were going to get some things for the house and for Jaspers room and wouldn't be home until around 8:30 that evening.
I was going to have the house to myself for once.
I went upstairs to my apartment and put some leggings and an oversized sweatshirt on and pulled up my long brown hair, which was a mess from the humidity, into a casual bun.
I looked at the clock and saw I had a couple of hours until they got home. I went to the television and looked through the selection of movies to try and find something to watch on this rainy day.
The ringer on my phone startled me because of my new phone and glancing at the caller ID I saw it was Edward. My heart felt like it skipped a few beats and I hesitantly hit accept and placed the phone to my ear.
"Hello?" I said sounding like I was out of breath.
"Bella, it's so good to hear your voice." He replied; his voice was reminiscent of a song I hadn't heard in awhile.
"Same here, how have you been? It's been…awhile." I said, not wanting to sound bitchy after not talking to him for two year especially after just losing his sister
There was a long pause on the phone, "Yeah, I know and you have no idea how much that hurts me. Listen, Bella. I'm not calling you to say hey let's try and start talking again or whatever. But I want you to know, I miss you, and I hope if you want to ever call me that you will. You have my number and you know where I will be."
I wiped my eyes and took a deep steady breath, "Okay, Edward, I will." I promised, not knowing if it were really true or not.
"Ok, well I will talk to you later then. Goodnight Bella." He said, and I was about to end the call when I stopped.
"Hold on, Edward." I said waiting for him to let me know he was still there. But the line was dead. "I miss you too." I said to open space.
I didn't try and call him for an exceedingly long time. And it wasn't because I was afraid of what I wouldn't say it was because I was afraid at what I since I opened that last letter from him, I had missed him every single passing day since then.
There was not a day that went by I didn't think of him and long for what we used to be. I had dream after dream of him; it was as though he had never actually left.
When I woke up the next day and looked at the calendar I noticed Edwards's birthday was less than a week away. I had never been good with dates, and I anticipated he wouldn't think anything of me not sending him a card. I stopped myself, why would I be obligated to send him a card? I shrugged and realized I was obsessing over whether or not an ex boyfriend would care if I contacted him for his birthday.
When April 14th arrived, I knew what I had to do. I needed to call him and wish him a happy birthday. This was definitely a sign I needed to contact him. Yes, that's what this was. I picked up my phone and scrolled through my contacts. Taking a deep breath I clicked send and put the phone to my ear.
It rang twice before he picked up, and I let out a sigh of relief.
"Bella…" He breathed.
I smiled at how he sounded relieved. "Hey, so Happy Birthday. You know I am not good with dates or anything but hey it's better than nothing right?" I said and I was mad at myself for stammering.
"Thanks Bella, it means a lot that you called. What are you up to these days?"
Although I live with his older sister, I wasn't sure how much Rosalie had been telling him about my life over the last few years. So I told him about my work and that it really was the dream job I'd hoped to land after graduating college. I told him I was happy and we had a great life here.
He asked about Jasper, and I told him he was having a rough time but I was glad he moved out here. I asked how he was doing, he said it will just take time but he was glad to be home now, for his parent's sake.
"I mean, I'm doing the best I can, considering. It was horrible to not be able to come home, but my tour was almost over so they couldn't just let me go home for two weeks and then come back for one."
"She knows you did the best you could Edward, she was very proud of you." We all are.
We talked a little while longer about his plans, he was thinking about going back to college and pursuing a degree in medicine. I told him how great I thought it was no matter what he chooses to study. This phone call which started out as a simple "Happy Birthday" evolved into us reminiscing about the good times in our lives.
"Bella do you remember that one birthday when you came to my door with a bunch of wood and said we were going to build a tree house for my birthday? You said you knew it was what I really wanted and that only you would do it for me?"
I laughed, of course I remembered. "Yes, and then we worked on it all day and only got a few pieces of wood together. We never did get around to finishing it." I said now feeling nostalgic.
"I miss that Bella."
"I miss it too Edward." I said as I stood up, running a hand through my hair.
We talked for a little while longer but Jazz, Emmett and Rosalie would be home soon, and I didn't need the looks they were sure to give me.
What surprised me was what happened next; following that call, every day after I woke up to a text message from him. It was either 'Good Morning' or a 'how are you today?' No matter what it was I always found myself smiling.
One morning before heading off to work, I was grabbing a bite to eat in the kitchen with Jasper when my cell phone went off again.
"Hope you have a good day B."
I couldn't help but smile. I sent a quick response back and went back to buttering my toast. I caught a glimpse of Jasper who was looking at me with a raised eyebrow.
"What?" I asked him.
He folded his arms across his chest and sighed, "You know what, Bella. Who are you talking to?" He asked with a grin on his lips.
"No one." I replied simply. I looked at him and he didn't seem convinced. "Ok, ok, it's Edward. We have been texting back and forth a bit lately, but don't worry, we are just friends."
"Bella, you need to be careful." He started to say. "Even if you are just friends, he really hurt you; do you know what you're getting yourself into?"
I did, and I didn't all at the same time. I knew nothing was going to come of it. We were just two friends reminiscing about old times, catching each other up on what we've missed…. right? I've known him most of my life, so that was normal, wasn't it?
On the way to work, it started to storm pretty heavily and I sighed. People were always so moody when it rained it seemed and I didn't want them to ruin my mood. At least I was on the train and didn't have to drive in this.
Fortunately it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be and the day flew by, and before I knew it I realized it was time to go home.
When I got home, the house was empty. I had kind of been avoiding this night. Carlisle and Esme had decided to take a trip out here and were in town for a few days to see Rosalie. They had planned to take us all out for dinner tonight but honestly; I didn't really feel comfortable going. I loved them but with loosing Alice, and the awkwardness with how things turned out with Edward, I just didn't want to face them, not yet. I know it was selfish and even though he and I had been messaging each other recently, I really just wanted to avoid dealing with all of it.
I grabbed a bowl of cereal for dinner, nutritious right? Then I went upstairs to my apartment and settled in on the couch in front of the television. I chose a movie to watch, my favorite romantic comedy. It was true the story was reminiscent of Edward and me; but I was going to watch it anyway. I didn't care, it was one of my favorites and nothing would ever change that fact.
I was just getting lost in the story when my phone rang.
Smiling after I peeked at the caller ID, "Hello Edward. What's up?" I asked, not giving him the chance to even say it was him on the line.
"Bella, what are you doing right now?" He asked as I heard a clap of thunder outside. I pulled the blanket on the back of the couch closer to me for comfort.
"Right this very second? Well I am watching one of my favorite 'chic-flicks', and trying not to freak out because of the storm right now. It's getting really bad out!"
"Yeah it is." He answered simply.
They must be experiencing a storm now too. Springtime in Forks usually brought a lot of rain but I was surprised they would be having storms like we get here. "Oh, it's storming there too?"
He laughed, "Where I am, yes Bella, I need you to go outside right now." He said.
Was he crazy? Had he not just heard me tell him it was fucking storming outside? I wasn't stupid enough to do that.
"Um, Edward, unless you want me to die right now, I don't think that is a good idea."
"You're not going to die, trust me, and just go outside."
What was going on?
"Ok, but I am keeping you on the line, if I stop talking, call 911." I said, as I got up from the couch to walk to my front door.
I unlocked it, and looked outside. "Ok, I opened my door, now what am I supposed to do?" I asked looking at the sheets of rain coming down in front of me.
"Keep looking." He said calmly.
What the fuck? Where was I supposed to look? The sky? I looked around and all I saw was black and rain. There was nothing on my porch, no mystery packages with a big red bow. I then looked out towards the street. At first there was nothing, but then I saw something moving next to a car parked in front of the house
"Oh my God." I said into the phone.
"Surprise!" A voice said from the street.
It was Edward.
I dropped my phone along with all of the sadness and doubt I had inside me because of him. I took off, down the stairs and into the rain, not caring about getting wet or the thunder or lightning around us. I ran to him and threw myself at him with such force that I almost knocked us both down. He wrapped his arms around me, hugging me close.
It was Edward. He was here in front of me. It wasn't a figment of my imagination and it wasn't a picture that I was looking at. He was really here and he was in my arms.
"I can't believe you are here." I said pulling away and looking at him. He didn't look that different from the last time I saw him. Sure he had changed a little, but he was still Edward. "God I missed you." I said touching his face, just wanting to feel him.
"Bella I am so sorry. I was so stupid. I should never have done that to you. I hope you can forgive me." He said. He started to say something else but I put my finger to his lips.
"Shhh. You don't have to say anything Edward. I love you."
"I love you too Bella." He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist. I looked into his eyes, and he wiped my wet hair away from my face.
I smiled, and then I leaned in and kissed him. It was the kind of kiss that will completely take your breath away. When you feel as though the air is stuck in your lungs and your heart is pounding so hard it feels as though it's going to jump right out of your chest. I pulled away trying to catch my breath, we were both breathing so heavily but I didn't care. I kissed his cheek and his eyes and his mouth and he deepened the kiss and ran one of his hands down my back.
"Why don't we go inside?" I suggested. He picked me up and carried me inside; straight into my bedroom.
*A month later*
Edward was moving in today and he was planning on applying to medical school here. Jasper had decided he was going to move home to Forks. Sure I would miss my brother; I loved him so much but I was glad to see he was moving on with his life. And the apartment we shared above the garage would be a little crowded with the three of us.
Emmett and Rosalie announced they were pregnant and the baby was due in January. They were naming it Jonathon if it was a boy and Alice if it was a girl.
We spent our first day living together unpacking his things, putting them next to mine, making this our home.
I was putting new sheets on our bed when Edward came in and wrapped his arms around me. "I love you." He said into my ear and I shivered.
After not hearing him say that to me for so many years, I cherished every "I love you" like it was my last. "I love you too."
"What else do we need to do? Is there anything I can help you with?" He asked walking around our room.
"Yeah, actually there is." And I took his hand and led him to what was now our closet. I had longed to do this every day since the morning we woke up together after he showed up here in the rain. I had decided today would be the perfect time to do it. Plus, I wanted his help.
I opened the closet door and went to the shelf where it was sitting. I grabbed the frame and as I walked back out into the bedroom, his eyes caught what I had in my hand. He was standing there with his mouth open. "You still have that!" He asked sounding surprised. "I thought you would have gotten rid of it years ago, after what happened with us."
"Of course I still have it. It has always meant the world to me, no matter what. And now that you are moving in I thought we could hang it up together, now that this is our room. You know, to sort of christen our bedroom."
He laughed as we hung it up right over our bed and I smiled as I stepped back to look at it.
"It's perfect." He said, putting his arm around me.
"Yeah it is."
He wrapped me in his arms and kissed my head. "Even though this is a great way to christen our room, I actually have a better way in mind." He said with a look in his eyes that I knew all too well.
"Show me." I said smiling as he pulled me closer into his arms, kissing me deeply as we fell onto our bed.