How Skydiving, a Closet, and Gollum Saved Harry's Life

Lily was panicking. She was terrified out of her mind. James was dead, gone, gone, and she had nothing, nothing, except Harry and in a few seconds Harry would be gone too – and so would she, oh God, oh God, oh God –

She didn't know what to do, Voldemort was coming, he was climbing the stairs, her baby and she had precious few seconds to live –

She decided to quickly go skydiving, because Harry had never done it and neither had she and she'd always wanted to and she was fairly sure Harry would probably want to as well. I mean who doesn't wanna go skydiving? She ran into her closet to get her parachute.

Argh, James had thrown all his flying equipment on top of her skydiving equipment! Now what?

Suddenly, the door creaked open.

Lily froze, Silenced Harry, and herself for good measure. Just in case, she cast an Object Silencer on the whole closet.

"Hey! Fools!" Voldemort shouted. "Where are you?"

Lily's heart had long since jumped out of her throat. She had never been more terrified in her life.

Sometimes, terror can cause brilliant ideas that save lives.

Sometimes, terror can cause idiotic ideas that kill people.

Sometimes, terror can spur an old childhood memory of being read The Lord of the Rings, with your dad doing a funny Gollum voice for the parts where Gollum, the twisted, demented creature, spoke.

Lily's terror caused her to choose two options.

She lifted the charm from herself.

And she opened her mouth.

In her best imitation of J.R.R Tolkien's Gollum, she called, "Leave, precious.."

There was a dead silence.

Voldemort's trembling voice came from out of the closet. "G-gollum?" he whispered.

No one knew, but Voldemort had a phobia of Gollum!

"Leave here," hissed Lily. "Leave here and never come back!"

Voldemort screamed and ran away as fast as he could.

Lily emerged from the closet.

Ten Years Later

Lily leaned against Sirius, her best friend and supporter through all those years without her husband, the man who helped her raise Harry, and waved somberly as her son leaped onto the train, grinning.

"He'll be all right," said Sirius quietly as the train sped out of sight. "You know he will."

Lily smiled at Sirius. "You know, Sirius," she said contemplatively, "I never did go skydiving."

The two friends went off to try it.

The End