Title: Five guys Vanessa has knocked out with her bare fist
Author: Shenandoah Risu
Rating
: PG-13
Content Flags: bruised knuckles, men in pain
Spoilers: SGU Season 2 through "Epilogue"
Characters: Vanessa James, five guys with bruised jaws
Word Count: 1,221
Summary: Being laid out flat on his back by a girl was obviously something he would never be able to live down.
Author's Notes
: Written for prompt set #127 at the LJ Comm sg1_five_things.
Disclaimer: I don't own SGU. I wouldn't know what to do with it. Now, Young... Young I'd know what to do with. ;-)
Thanks for reading! Feedback = Love. ;-)

oOo

Five guys Vanessa has knocked out with her bare fist

The memory of her hallucination still haunts her. Intellectually, Vanessa knows it was the alien tick's venom that had sent her on this horror trip, where she and Matthew Scott had had sex, and he had left her – again – and she had smashed his head in with her bedside lantern. She still checked the floor of her room for signs of a blood stain every time she got off shift. Of course she never found anything, it simply hadn't happened.

But one night, many weeks later, she dreamed of him – the same situation, and it felt so real, she could feel him, his hands, his hot breath, his sweat-covered skin. And once again he got up and got ready to leave her. But this time she laid him out with a solid right hook, straight across the bed.

She woke up with her knuckles bruised; she must have hit something in her sleep, maybe the wall, maybe the headboard.

And that's when she moved up one floor and down the hall.

Her new room has a different layout; it's smaller, but so far the nightmare hasn't followed her.

oOo

Oh, she knew all too well that Telford had been brainwashed. But she was pretty sure that he had been a bit of a misogynist ass before. Coming on to her was nothing that would have benefitted the Alliance in any way, so that was probably him, no matter what, and really, she should have ratted him out, back on Icarus, after the third time he made a pass at her. Instead she had told Greer, and of course he had fumed, but it had taken Telford dressing Riley down in front of everyone for Greer to actually lose it and knock Telford flat on his ass. Vanessa still knew that she had contributed to it. Greer had ended up in the brig for his troubles and she had sworn revenge.

On her first visit to Earth via the communication stones she made a beeline for Emily Young's house, knowing that Telford was there. She waited for hours, and when he finally came out she hauled him off into the bushes and socked it to him.

Her bare fist connected with his jaw with the most satisfying smack, and he went down without even so much as a grunt. She fought the impulse to break his neck right then and there, called out to a passer-by to call 911 about some drunk guy lying in the bushes, and then made her escape.

oOo

Vanessa hated babysitting the Lucian Alliance gang on Destiny. Sure, some of them appeared to be decent folks – she ended up playing cards with Varro, Koz and Ginn more than a few times. But you had to have eyes in the back of your head with these people. She wished Curtis was still around – more than anyone else she had trusted him to watch her back. But by now Curtis was probably just a bunch of skeletal remains on some godforsaken planet in another galaxy, and that was that.

Simeon was trouble, she knew that right from the start. There was something about him that exuded brooding evil, two-facedness, cruelty. She always kept an eye on him when she was on watch. It was obvious Simeon didn't like it when Ginn played cards with her – Vanessa knew they were from the same clan. And one day she caught him crowding the red-haired girl against the wall, and she lunged at him and simply knocked him out. Ginn looked up at her in total shock as she shook out her bruised hand.

From then on the other Alliance people gave her a wide berth and Simeon stayed well away from her. Being laid out flat on his back by a girl was obviously something he would never be able to live down.

oOo

They had been married for a few months on Novus when she clocked her own husband.

It had all started innocently enough as they were sitting by the fire pit in their tiny hovel, trying to relax after a hard day's work. She had started tickling him, knowing all the right places to try, and Varro, who turned into a giggling fool every time she went for it, had grabbed her by the shoulders to wrestle her down to the floor beneath him. But Vanessa had kicked out her leg (she didn't get that Level 3 Advanced certificate in hand-to-hand combat for nothing) and toppled them both over. She had stuck out her hand to brace their fall and at that moment Varro had turned his head and she had quite accidentally punched his lights out. Yes, it was rather embarrassing.

She elevated his legs, put a cool wet cloth on his forehead and tapped his cheek until he came around. Luckily he thought it was the funniest thing that had ever happened to them, and she did kiss it better afterwards, too.

Of course the rumor mill was in full swing the next morning about Varro's bruised face, and someone (Varro swore it was Eli) put a piece of tree bark over their door with the inscription "Novus BDSM Society" carved into it. Vanessa thought it was hysterical and so the sign stayed.

oOo

For Vanessa, the most irritating thing about Rodney McKay was that he never even attempted to conceal his boob fetish, and somehow he seemed to get away with it everywhere. Women would roll their eyes and men would snicker when he got all googly-eyed over a set of big knockers.

Vanessa had always had big breasts. They didn't bother her, she was just used to them. And most guys would just stare and then blush and look away, and she had slapped a few of the more juvenile ones around a bit. Riley and Eli (aka Cute and Bashful) had been on that list, but who could have possibly hit either one of them? It would have been like kicking a puppy.

McKay, on the other hand, was neither cute nor bashful, and while he was on Destiny – albeit in another body – he still couldn't keep from making a silly remark and reaching out with his hands, pretending to squeeze her breasts while making honking noises. Eli made his classic WTF face and shook his head, but Vanessa simply had enough. She pulled back, hit him with all her might and sent him crashing to the floor.

Whoa. Wait a second, Vanessa. Is that really what happened?

"Actually, I was going to punch him, and I think he knew I was going to, and that I was serious, because his eyes got big like saucers, and he got this 'oh shit' expression on his face, and then his eyes rolled up into his head and he just passed out. Right there in front of me. Plop, on the floor in the hallway, just like that. I never even touched him. So, I ended up doing the first aid thing on him. Pretty unsatisfying, if you ask me. Pity, too, because he'll probably never try it again. And you know, he's really kinda hot in a weird sort of way – in his own body – when he's like that... So yeah, bottom line, I'd still shag him."

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