A Painful Engagement

"Five, four, three…" Mrs. Nichols had had enough. She counted down, irritated at her two oldest children. Drake and Josh stood their ground, trying not to be deterred by their mother's counting.

"Come on", Drake said folding his arms.

"Don't you think we're a little old for that", Josh agreed smugly.

"Two…" she continued a little louder. The boys' attitudes changed quickly as they remembered what happened when you got to one. They scurried into the kitchen with their parents following close behind. With one look at their mother's face the boys took a simultaneous step backwards.

"I just want you to calmly explain why YOU ARE MARRIED TO THAT YUDONIAN GIRL!" Drake and Josh both got a little more nervous. As usual they tried to blame each other, but finally Josh came up with a plan.

"Just trust me", he assured his parents.

"Fine" Audrey sighed, "But trust me. We will be talking about this later", the boys gulped at the thought and went to carry out Josh's plan.

A few hours later, Drake sat on the couch in their room unmarried, un-rich and miserable with his brother beside him. They were both about to get a lot more miserable. After the plan with Yucca had backfired, their mother had ordered them to their room to "wait for her". Drake knew in depth what the phrase meant and Josh wasn't a stranger to the concept either.

"This is all your fault", Josh said.

"What, my fault", Drake said shocked, "How is it my fault?"

"YOU married her!"

"YOU set up the ceremony!"


"Whatever back to you!"

"The whatever is with you my friend!"

"Enough", their mom interjected, walking into the room and prompting them both to sit back down quickly. They mumbled apologies.

"Of all the stunts you two have pulled, this is by far… I can't believe you got married Drake. And don't think that you're not in trouble Josh. This whole nonsense was your fault too"

"But Mom, it was an accident", Drake started. Audrey held up a hand to stop him.

"Breaking a vase is an accident Drake. Denting the car is an accident. Getting married? Not an accident. You boys are in so much trouble. Drake, get your nose into a corner. Josh, come over here now"

Drake did as he was told; knowing that his going second probably wasn't a good sign. She always saved the worst for last. God, why did he always go last? Totally uncool. Josh wasn't as used to the procedure. He stayed on the couch trying to talk his stepmom out of the punishment. Wasn't he a little too old to be getting spanked. Over in the corner, Drake flinched at the last statement. His brother from another mother was headed for trouble. Get up dude. Just get up. He tried to Vulcan mind meld. With a few short steps from their mother, Josh ended up bent over the back of the couch, his bottom already stinging from several well placed swats.

"You know when you'll be too old for spankings Joshua", the boy cringed at the use of his full name, "When you stop doing things that earn you a spanking"

With that she pulled down the chubby boys pants and started spanking him over his Star Wars briefs. After only a moment, Josh was in tears. He'd never had a really high pain tolerance. Audrey gave a deaf ear to his cries and kept spanking. Finally, she stopped. Josh sniffled and went to stand up, only to feel a hand push him back down.

"Uh-uh. This is just an intermission sweetie. You're going to get a few with the hairbrush", she went to grab it. Josh started to cry more heartily. Stupid Yudonians and their stupid goat traditions! He wished he'd never emailed that stupid, pretty Yucca. He felt the hand on his back again and braced himself for the blow.

"You are going to start being more responsible, is that clear", she landed three hard spanks with the wooden brush.

"Aah. Yeeeehs. Yes ma'am"

"I know it was a mistake, but if you don't know what you're doing DON'T DO IT!"

"Okaaaaaaaay! I'm soreeee!"

"And if you ever get into trouble like this again. You don't hide it from your father and I. Do you understand", she accented each word with a swat from the hairbrush. Josh could only nod frantically, using up all his breath in crying. Audrey put the brush down and brought her stepson into a huge hug. The boy melted into her, still sobbing. She stroked his hair, knowing how hard this had been for him. Unlike her own son, Josh was rarely in trouble. Finally he calmed a little.

"Alright sweetie. That's over now. Now look at me", he did, "I don't want to have to do that again anytime soon, you hear me? So you stay out of trouble"

She pulled him back into another hug as he nodded, then let him go downstairs. She gathered herself again. She hated these punishments almost as much as the boys did, of course they caused her a significantly less amount of discomfort. Finally, she called back to her second boy.

"Drake. It's your turn. Come here", Drake turned to her with tears in his eyes that Audrey quickly realized weren't from fear. She rushed over to him wrapping her arms around him quickly. He hated to hear either of his siblings punished and this had been one of Josh's worst so far. It must have been torture for her son to stand in the corner listening to his brother's spanking.

"It's ok, baby. It's ok", she heard him crying softly and brought him over to sit on the couch. Holding his hand she looked into his red eyes, "Listen sweetheart. It's not your fault that Josh got a spanking. He earned that himself, just like you earned yours"

"I know, but if I hadn't…", he stopped as his mother cut him off.

"No. He had his part and you had yours. You were both responsible, ok?", he nodded and sniffled, "Good. Save your tears, because you're going to need them in a minute"

Drake gulped back a lump of fear. He wondered if his mom remembered her promise last week. Maybe she'd forgotten about it.

"Now, do you remember what I told you last week, after you got that detention", dammit. He nodded, "What did I say"

"I know, but…"

" 'Buts' are meant for spanking, Drake. Don't 'but' me. What did I say?"

"You said if you had to spank me again this month, it was going to be… ommybrebuh", Audrey stood up and yanked her son up with her in a flash, turning him around and swatting him several times.

"Oww. Oww. Owwwww. Okay, okay Mom, okay!" she released her grip, "You said it would be on my bare butt"

"And you still entered into this harebrained scheme with your brother?"

"I… I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry Mom. Come on", he whined.

"Well, Drake. I'm about to give you a lot to think about for the next time. You can throw your pants and your underwear on the couch", Drake stood there pleading with his eyes, until his mom took a step towards him. He stepped back, quickly starting to fumble with the buttons on his shorts. When he'd taken off his pants and boxers, his mother nodded him towards the back off the couch and he bent over it slowly. He only got bare bottom spanking when he did something really bad. Like, punching Megan or marrying a foreign exchange student or something. God, that had been stupid.


Audrey started in full force on her son. She knew it didn't seem fair on the surface, but she always spanked him harder than his brother. Josh just couldn't handle a harder spanking, and besides if you gave him a love tap, he behaved for a month. With Drake, if you didn't make a point, he'd have to get a spanking every week.

"Mom. Oww. Mom, please. Owww. Owwwwww. I'm sorry I swear. Ouch. Come on", Drake begged and pleaded as the sting in his bottom rose. He tried not to cry, but after a moment the tears started to flow.

"Mom please! Ohhhhhoooow! Maaaa", it took him a minute to realize she'd stopped, but his relief only lasted for a moment. He knew what was coming next.


The hairbrush cracked onto his already stinging bottom. Not slowing for a moment, Audrey kept spanking as Drake bucked and dodged trying to avoid the spanks with little success. When he tried to push himself up, she landed several harder swats on his thighs.

"Aaaaaaaagh! Noooo. I'm sorry, Mom! Mooom! Mommeeee! Pleeeease"

"You and your brother need to think things through before you do them. Do you understand?", Audrey was as eager to wrap up the spanking as her son. Hearing him call her Mommy nearly broke her heart.


"Yes what?"

"Ma'aaaaam. Yes ma'am"

"And you will not hide things from your father and me. Is that clear?"

"Yes ma'aaam. Pleeeease."

Audrey stopped spanking and pulled her birth son into a hug as she had for Josh. He sobbed onto her shoulders, thinking only in the very back of his mind how uncool this would look to the kids at school. She pulled back and wiped away his tears, then grabbed his face in her hands.

"Next time you do something stupid, you come to me. Do you understand? I might be mad, and you may get in trouble, but I can help you. I can't be there for you if you lie and hide things from me and your father. Do you understand that?"

Drake nodded diving back into his mother's arms for comfort. She gently kissed his hair and held him until he quieted. Giving him a kiss on the forehead, she started out of the room.

"Okay Romeo, put your pants on and come down for dinner. There's some leftover goat downstairs"