I don't own Glee.
Am I More Than You Bargained For Yet?
Kurt Hummel wasn't the first boy Noah Puckerman had a crush on. He was, however, the first boy Puck actually knew. Normally it was actors, or the boys in the armature porn he watched on the internet. He'd never admit it out loud, but he had a Harry Potter porn obsession and you'd be surprised at how many Drarry role play videos you could find. But Puck hadn't fallen for Kurt immediately. Or at least he hadn't realized it.
Puck had always picked on Kurt; throwing him into dumpsters and throwing slushies in his face was some of Puck's favorite past times. But towards the end of sophomore year, Puck had snuck into the auditorium as Kurt sang his own version of Rose's Turn. Puck was amazed at the passion in the young boys eyes as he belted out the song.
Puck had waited by Puck's Navigator after school, pacing with nerves. Kurt had froze when he saw the boy, dropping his keys in shock.
"Um, hey," Puck murmured, standing up straight. "Can…can we talk?"
"I guess?" Kurt said, gesturing to a bench by the school.
"I'm…I'm bi?" Puck said, not entirely sure exactly what he was. "I think?" he added, staring at his hands.
"Really?" Kurt asked, squeaking slightly.
"Uh, I think. All I know is that I like you. I mean a lot. And I know I'm an ass to everyone and I know I've been horrible to you. But I just really, really want to make it up to you. I really….I really want to be with you."
It had taken weeks for Puck to finally convince Kurt that he was sincere. They went on a few dates before Kurt finally agreed to be Puck's boyfriend. They spent the entire summer together, making time for each other every day. Puck had never been so happy in his life.
Kurt stayed with him after Beth was born, holding the bigger boy in his arms as Puck sobbed at how unfair it was. He had wanted to keep the baby, but didn't have the means to take care of her.
"I promise you," Kurt had whispered as Puck hiccupped against his chest. "I promise that when we get out of this school and leave this stupid town, that we're going to have kids. We'll adopt a freaking litter of them and raise them all. You'll never have to give up another baby."
That was when Puck new he loved Kurt. Kurt put up with his bad habits, his crazy ideas, eclectic music taste, and vulgar way of speaking. Kurt stayed with him when his dad came back to town and caused a drunken fight in the Puckerman's front yard. Puck had cried himself to sleep in Kurt's arms that night.
When fall came and they went back to school, Kurt and Puck's relationship was as strong as ever. But then Mrs. Puckerman had to start working more when Puck's sister Sarah got sick and the small family had trouble making ends meet. Puck knew he had to do something, anything to help his mother. In hindsight, trying to steal the ATM and crashing his mother's car into the 7-eleven had been a horrible idea.
Kurt had wrote him a letter his first week at juvie, promising him he'd wait. He said he wasn't mad and that he understood how hard things were for Puck's family at the time. That letter was what got Puck through everything that went on the three weeks he was gone. Kurt had even came and stayed with him the week between getting out of juvie and returning to school. He cuddled Puck tight as the boy healed from the beating he had gotten from some of the harder teens.
The first day back Puck didn't notice at first that his boyfriend wasn't there. He had attended the first math class in years, actually made friends with Artie, and held an impromptu concert in the court yard. Puck was sure that things were finally starting to turn around. He had texted Kurt a few times, but he never got an answer. He didn't think much of it, though. Kurt had a tendency of getting his phone taken away for texting in his first period of class and wouldn't get it back until the end of the day. If he would have paid a bit more attention he probably would have realized that Finn wasn't at school, either.
Puck had just sat down in the back of his English class when Mr. Shuester appeared in the doorway, ringing his hands. Puck sighed. He had been hoping he could take a nap but stood grudgingly when Mr. Buroker called his name.
"I don't know what happened, Mr. Shu, but I didn't do it. I swear!" Puck said, throwing himself into a chair at Mr. Shu's desk. Instead of sitting on the other side, Mr. Shuester sat in the chair next to Puck, staring at his hands.
"You haven't done anything wrong, Puck," the teacher said quietly.
"Then what's going on?" Puck asked loudly. Mr. Shu was quiet for a long time before sighing loudly and meeting Puck's eyes.
"Mr. Hummel called the office a little while ago, Puck. Finn and Kurt were in a car accident late last night coming home from Finn's aunt's house." Puck bit his lip, remember how far away Nancy lived from Lima. He cursed himself from not calling to check on his boyfriend when Kurt didn't answer the night before. He had just assumed the younger boy had gone to sleep early. "They were both hurt bad, Noah."
"Why didn't anyone call me?" Puck asked, his voice squeaking. "I have to go see Kurt," He said, climbing out of the chair. Mr. Shu put a hand on his arm to stop him.
"In all the confusion, Mr. Hummel forgot you were home from juvie, Noah. He said you should be the first to hear when he called the school, however."
"The first to hear what?" Puck yelled. "What's going on?"
"Both Kurt and Finn were seriously injured last night, Noah. And Kurt fought for as long as he could. But he didn't make it."
"Wha…I don't understand." Puck said, his body starting to shiver.
"Kurt's gone, and he's not coming back…" Mr. Shuester trailed off, squeezing Puck's arm as the boy's eyes filled with tears.
"No…" Puck whispered, standing up quickly.
"Noah, I'm sorry…"
"No! Stop! Stop saying he's dead! Kurt's not dead!" Shu tried to grab Puck's arm but Puck pulled away. "Don't touch me! Where's Kurt?"
"Noah, he's gone. You have to calm down. I understand your-"
Puck didn't hear what else Mr. Shu had to say. He fled the room, running for the parking lot.
"Puck?" Artie called after him as he ran past. Puck didn't turn around, instead tried to keep himself from falling apart. He drove across town as fast as he could and stumbled up the Hudmel's front step. Burt opened the door, his face pale. Puck fell to the ground in front of him, a deep sob escaping his lips.
"Tell me it's not true. Tell me he's okay! Tell me he just skipped school," the Jewish teen sobbed, hugging himself tightly. "Please, please tell me it's not true."
"I'm so sorry Noah," Burt whispered, crouching to pull his son's boyfriend tight against his body. "I'm so sorry kid. He loved you."
Puck sobbed hard, his breath coming in small bursts. He couldn't believe it. Just like that, he'd lost his everything.
It was five years since Puck had graduated from McKinley, almost seven since Kurt had died. He walked with his hands in his pockets and his head ducked low. He finally got to the right row and turned to the left. He stopped at the sixth grave, sighing heavily.
"Hey, babe," Puck whispered, sitting down on the grass. He dropped the flowers he had been carrying under his arms against the grave and smiled slightly. "They aren't roses. You always said they were tacky. I don't even know what they are, really." Puck chuckled slightly but then his face fell again.
"It's been almost seven years and I still miss you like it was yesterday. Um…New York is great. I always promised that's where we would go after high school and I kept it. And…You'll never believe it. A friend of mine-she's gay, by the way-has agreed to be my surrogate. I'm going to have a baby, Kurt. The only way this could be better was if you were here with me. But I promise I'll have a mess of kids, just like you wanted. God, I miss you so much. It's just not fair. Just…just keep keeping an eye on me, babe. And this kid, too. I love you."
Puck sat in front of the grave for hours, not even caring when it started raining. When Puck finally rose to his feet, his joints sore and stiff, he looked up into the clear sky. He snorted when he saw the double rainbow in the distance. Maybe Kurt was listening even if Puck couldn't see him. Maybe this was his way of saying 'I love you, too.' Puck didn't know, but for once in six and a half years, he didn't feel as miserable. For once, he felt that maybe things would be okay.
AN: I hope you liked it. Please review.