"Hello and welcome to the first of hopefully many episodes of Gold's Guide to Women. I'm your host, Gold," said the perverted boy with a grin as he looked towards the camera. "On today's episode, we'll be talking about something that a majority of women have and what all men love…breasts.

"That's right – breasts. Also going by such names as boobs, melons, milk balloons, and ta-tas, these soft and squishy objects come in many sizes going from very big (Gold clicked a button on the remote control he was holding and showed a picture of Cynthia, the Sinnoh League Champion, on the screen behind him) to almost non-existence (He clicked the button again and this time a picture of Misty, the Cerulean Gym Leader was on the screen).

"Regardless of their size though, us men are nonetheless attracted to them as it is our basic instinct to be attracted to them. Something about that being part of mating or something along those lines. Unfortunately, with everything good, there has to be something bad and that would be the fact that women tend to use their breasts to get men in trouble.

"You might be asking how is that. Well I'll tell you. Everyone probably knows that women tend to wear shirts that show off their breasts, whether the shirt is very tight around the chest area or the neck is open enough to show off their cleavage. They do this willingly so they can show off their ta-tas, yet when a guy does pay attention to that area, the women act as if they've been violated and get all prissy about it.

"It makes no sense to get mad like that. Women getting mad at men for looking at their hooters that they'll willingly showoff is like a person showing off his car and then getting mad at people who look at it!

"Luckily, I have a solution to this problem. There are two choices that can be done. One, women can stop wearing shirts that show off their tits. Or two, they can stop getting upset whenever a man actually gives them attention. If anyone has anything to add on this subject or have any other questions, call the number at the bottom of your screen.


Gold gave off a grin. "It seems we have our first caller. Hello, you're on Gold's Guide to Women. What's your question?"

"Gold! What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Hey everyone! It's Super Serious Girl!" exclaimed Gold, his grin getting bigger. "Is there anything you'd like to say to the audience before we go off the air?"

"You are nothing more than a sexist perverted idiot! And as for your so called "solution" have you ever thought that you men could, oh I don't know, stop looking at women's breasts?"

"Someone call this woman a shrink. She's talking crazy! (Gold disconnected the call before Crys could say anything else) Anyway, that's it for this episode. Join us next time for when we tackle another lovely attribute of women, as to which attribute, I'll leave everyone in suspense. Also, if anyone would like me to talk about certain subjects on women, send your questions to the following email at the bottom of your screens. See ya next time!"



Just a silly little idea that popped into my head. The idea of Gold having his own TV show and on the subject of women sounded like a hilarious idea.