goldie-sable
AND THE THREE BEARS!
--------------------

In an isolated house, far far away, there was
a magical happy land full of candy and cashew halves and
a nice woman greeted everyone courteously as they entered
into the chocolate cottage. As much as it would have
been great to live there, it's not part of the story
so nevermind.
In another house, a townhouse, a big townhouse,
with lots and lots of stairs and maybe an elevator or two,
lived three bears. They were dressed in bear costumes
anyway. One was the papa bear, who was really Vince
McMahon in disguise. The mother bear was played by
Goldust, but Vince didn't know about this until we told
him at the end of the story and laughed at him while he
cried, because he hit on Mama Bear.
Anyway, the final bear was a top secret cloning
project involving high tech gear like the N64, the
Apple IIGS, among other things like the innovative
pencil sharpener. Okay, not really.
This bear was a baby bear named Steve Austin.
While it could have been the Undertaker who played
this part because he acts like such a wussy pansy
baby in the first place, for dumb mental reasons
Steve Austin was chosen for this role. The author
expects people to laugh at this.
Mama bear Goldust went to the stove and
cooked up some ham sandwiches. Stone cold Baby
Austin went up to him or her or whatever and
pointlessly did a Stone Cold Stunner on Mama Bear
and slammed his or her or whatever face into the
frying pan while it was very hot. Then they had
fried Goldust face for breakfast. Mama Bear
Goldust's face regenerated for story continuation
purposes.
Baby Bear shouted "where's my damn beer,
ma?" and Mama Bear Goldust just turned to Baby Bear
and did some really flatulent homoerotic pose because
the author couldn't find another way to describe
what Goldust did in one simple line where he pretended
to masturbate in the squared circle. Baby Bear
clotheslined his mom. Not his real mom. Mama Bear.
I don't know, maybe Mama Bear is his real mom. Baby
Bear Austin and the Blue Meanie do look conspicuously
similar in appearance.
The three holy trinity bears sat down at
the table in a triangle or something. Not that
it was symbolic or anything. The author has no
idea what the hell the triangle is supposed to
symbolize anyway. Well, the three bears started to
chew into their ham sandwiches.
Unfortunately, Papa Bear's was too inopulent
a sandwich to be eaten by him so Papa Bear Vince
McMahon went to Long John Silver's, arr matey!
Likewise, Mama Bear Goldust's was too rigid
and masculine and silver. But Mama Bear ate it
anyway.
Baby Bear Austin bitched about his ham
sandwich even though it was just fine. Nobody really
cared but everybody listened. Even those in the
neighborhood. Some helicopters even flew into their
household's windows, tearing them apart just to get
comments from Baby Bear.
After Papa Bear came back while being
escorted by a group of Macarena twiggy dancers
known as the Group That Likes Stuff group, they
schematically planned a prank on the poor old or
young whatever her age is GoldieSable. Because
she said she was better than the average bear,
and this infuriated the three bears which are
used to symbolize the holy trinity even though
it's probably used incorrectly because the author
put no thought into this story other than to make
silly jokes.
"Let's poopoo in her purse!" said Mama
Bear Goldust. However disgusted, Vince McMahon
liked the idea and decided that he would be
the pooper and Mama Bear Goldust would be the
purse toilet holder. Baby Bear would be the
watch guard. None of these bears actually talked
about who did what; the author was just being rather
vicarious.
Meanwhile, Goldiesable, not to be confused
with Goldie Hawn in a rather ludicrous and stupid
pun type joke, was on talking shows spreading her
word of Playboy, nudity, and sexual freedom everywhere.
Everybody in the audience whistled. Maybe they were
trying to whistle a tune or something. The song
sucked so many people turned off their televisions
whenever Goldiesable was on the talkshows because of the
dumb whistling songs which lead to a lot of dropped
ratings. Kathie Lee Gifford was forced to work her
slaves overtime with no pay, I guess. Not that I
think she has any but it's some common joke that I
don't know how it got started.
As Goldiesable talked her pants off (no, not
really) at all her talkshows, Vince McMahon went to
poopoo in her purse. Mama Bear Goldust held up the
purse. To the two parent bears' dismay, Papa Bear
was constipated due to old age. It took an hour to
get even one dinger out and it didn't even drop.
Goldiesable came home exhausted and took her
pants off. People climbed her house to see her through
her windows. But I fooled them because she didn't
really take her pants off. It was a joke, ha ha. The
people who climbed her walls fell down and broke their
heads in half. Other people who were late to get my
joke message slipped on the fallen guys' brain fragments,
also breaking their own heads in half. It continued
until it eventually got out into the street where
cars crashed into each other and nevermind.
She noticed a pipe. I don't know why, she
just did. Maybe she thought it was a sexy pipe.
Ask her about it, I guess.
Then she came into her room. Noticing the
three bears, she screamed. The insult to, well...
there's no injury but oh well...anyways, she
acknowledged the poop in her purse and sued their
butts off. So they couldn't poop anymore. But
her logic had failed her as it is their butt HOLE instead
that lets out the fecal excrements, obviously. So they
continued to pull the poopoo prank on her. Only
without buttcheeks. It big joke, ha ha funny. They
thought it was, anyway, so I guess it was pretty
funny that they had to do it so many times in a
row. Twice on Sunday.

The end.

by rainbow_cody - kwantzu dudes!
What?????