Fox calls in sick for a day, and a substitute grades his English assignment. What will her response be after stumbling upon Alex Rider's assignment? One-shot. Complete.

A/N: This could possibly be a sequel to '50 things Alex Rider Would Never Do', but not entirely, which is why it is posted separate.


The teacher was not happy with the reports. Sure, they worked well for English. They taught the kids what they needed to know about the GSCES. But did the man – Benjamin Daniels, was it – seriously expect her to grade the work? She sighed as she turned to the reports.

"Fifty things I would never do?" she muttered out loud, as she looked at the list. What was the point of that particular assignment? She would have to question the man when he came back. She knew that the man had an English degree, and a teaching degree, but right now it looked like he had neither.

At least in her professional opinion, that was. She sighed as her eyes flickered over the report.

TOM HARRIS

So that was the boy's name. She remembered him briefly. He had been talking rather obnoxiously with one of the boys in class. She'd had to tell him not to swear.

Briefly skimming his list, she admitted that the list could have things accomplished by it, but only to herself. She paused as she looked at it.

"I will not do drugs."

"I will not ever allow Alex to tell a teacher that I do drugs. Oh my God, how humiliating to have my locker searched!"

She smiled, and graded the document, putting a full mark at the top. The teenager had completed all the requirements of the assignment.

She then turned to the next document. ALEX RIDER was the name on top. Why did that name sound so familiar? She smirked at his note to the teacher (Benjamin, presumably). I really did meet three guys named Eagle… she rolled her eyes. Sure, that's what their names were. Right. Whatever. Well, maybe he didn't want to give out their real names. She could handle that

Skimming down the list, she read:

38. I will not join the SAS. Been there, done that, got the T-Shirt. Actually, I didn't get the T-Shirt. No, wait, I did!

The SAS? This teenager insinuated that he had joined the SAS? Admittedly, she didn't know very much about it, but she knew it was Special Forces, and required extensive training. There was no way this boy had that. Maybe he was having delusions of grandeur? It was possible. She'd have to talk to her sister, who was a social worker. She would know. She sighed, skimming down the list as she looked at it. It wasn't as if the boy hadn't completed the assignment, because he did. But seriously, some of his statements…

She really would have to talk to the young Benjamin Daniels, if for no other reason but to satisfy her curiosity.


Alex Rider groaned as he looked at the desk. He felt like shit, but of course that didn't matter. Fox had been sick for the past two days and a substitute had been called in. When Tom Harris had come into class, he'd asked Alex about the situation, knowing that Fox was currently Alex's legal guardian. Fox had been up last night puking, having caught the stomach bug from one of his students. He'd called off today, asking a replacement teacher to come in for the first time since he'd taken the position.

"What?" Alex demanded, turning around to Tom.

"I asked if the teacher was going to grade our documents," Tom explained patiently.

"Don't know, don't care," Alex said. He snickered at Tom's disbelieving book. "No, Fox told her specifically not to do that."

"Why?" Tom asked. He raise his eyebrows. "Doesn't he know he could get free grading?"

Alex shrugged and turned his attention back to the teacher, who was handing back some graded material. He sighed as he looked at his stack. Fox had been up late grading last night, so most of it was done.

'See me after school today' was the note on the very top. Alex knew that it wasn't Fox's handwriting. Besides, he always saw Fox after school every day.

Shit.


Fox was not happy. He had been home sick, and had hoped not to have any phone calls. Yet Alex's substitute English teacher had called him in, demanding a conference. Someone obviously hadn't looked at the forms to see that he was both the English teacher and his guardian.

"Thank you for coming," the teacher said. Alex was sitting in his chair and he didn't look happy. "I just wanted to talk to you about your charge's English assignments."

"I told you specifically not to grade those," Fox responded. He hadn't even been greeted, hadn't even been asked for his name. At the teacher's look of surprise, Fox spoke up. "Look, I give the kids essays too. I just limit the amount of essays I do and give them assignments that can help them with structure without being so tedious. These kids don't need an essay assignment due every week, too."

The teacher looked unhappy, but then recovered quickly. "So you're the English teacher, and you're Alex Rider's guardian?"

"Yes," Fox responded. He felt the headache pounding come back.

"Isn't that considered to be, oh, I don't know, a conflict of interest?"

Fox closed his eyes, forming the words in his head. "Look, they needed an extra English teacher. Alex just went with me because it was the only time that he could fit in his schedule. Don't give me this 'conflict of interest' bullshit, or I'll start asking you why you graded the assignments I specifically told you not too."

The English teacher bristled. "I could do better in this job than you," she responded, "I have a degree."

"With all due respect, I have a degree as well, ma'ma." Fox turned to Alex. "Which assignment did she grade?"

Wordlessly, Alex handed him the '50 Things I Will Never Do' list. "This one," he said tonelessly.

"There's no way your son went to the SAS!" the woman responded. "Wait, he isn't even your son, is he?"

Count to ten, don't kill her, Fox thought silently. "No, I'm his guardian, yes, he did go to the SAS. They were extenuating circumstances, and I can't disclose them. And before you slap a charge of child assault on me, it wasn't my choice, and that's one of the reasons why he is in my custody now. Are there any more questions that you have, or would you like to leave now?"

Alex Rider raised his eyebrows. Wow. Fox could get pissed if he wanted too.

"No, I think that's all for today." The woman slammed the door shut behind her.

"I hate teachers," Fox groaned as he laid his head on the wooden desk.

Alex burst out laughing. "I hate to break it to you, Fox, but you are one." He grinned, ducking to avoid Fox's swipe of his hand.