He heard that last shot and took a step back, before he fell back, and Beckett pushed herself away from the car, running back towards the hanger. He didn't move, couldn't move at first, could only stare into the night while Beckett's footsteps faded. When the door to the hanger slammed shut behind her, and the sound echoed across the tarmac, he moved, turning and walking towards the hanger. Towards her.
He spotted her among the bodies on the concrete, spread around the helicopter. He managed to run the last few feet, managed to find the energy and motivation to reach her, despite the sick feeling in his stomach and heartbreaking panic in his chest. He dropped to his knees next to her, looking down at Roy Montgomery. Beckett had blood on her hands, her fingers dripping, some on her shirt, soaking into her pants from where she'd tried to give him CPR. The chest compressions had simply forced more blood from his wounds onto Kate.
She didn't speak, not any words that were recognisable, just a couple of moans, a whine and she fell into him. He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her closer to him. He waited for her to cry but her tears didn't come, even though he was crying himself.
He held her closer as the sirens got louder, her face buried in his neck, his in her soft hair. He thought he heard a sob but it was so hard to distinguish over the screech of tyres at the edge of the hanger. She pulled away then, her face still dry, but her eyes red, face tight and panicked. She stood and he followed, standing close once they were both on their feet, watching the blur of lights and people coming towards them. He wrapped his arm around her once more, and held her as the chaos started.
Esposito almost broke the door on his way out of Beckett's apartment, Ryan chasing after him, telling him to wait, his own eyes red. He wiped his cheeks with one hand as he pulled her door closed with the other and Castle was alone with Beckett once more. They just stared at each other for a couple of minutes silently and he really didn't know what to do or say, except to wrap his arm around her again. She shifted on her seat closer to him, head on his shoulder.
He wanted to ask if she wanted him to stay, but he didn't want to hear her say no. Didn't even want to give her the chance to consider saying no. She needed him, he was certain of it, even if she didn't realise it.
He certainly needed her.
He heard that sob again, quiet and strangled, but she still didn't cry, and he knew she probably wouldn't cry in front of him. Which was a little heartbreaking, he wanted her to open up to him, trust him, but she couldn't.
He dropped his head into his hands, feeling his wet cheeks, he didn't realise he'd been crying again, and he wasn't sure he wanted Kate to see him cry either. They hid every other feeling from each other.
"Rick," she whispered, and he looked up to see her right in front of him. She shifted to straddle him, and he opened his mouth to question her, but she kissed him, hands on his checks. She wiped away his tears with her thumbs and he kissed back, hard, running his hands up into her hair to pull her closer to him.
He really needed her.
She shifted closer, her legs on either side of his, and she started to unbutton his shirt, slipping a hand inside to caress his chest. He knew he was cold from the night and the death, but her hands were soft and warm, and he sighed at the contact. He untangled his hands from her hair, and pulled up her top, stripping her then cupping both breasts. Kate groaned, and he bent his head to kiss the skin about her bra and she reached around to undo the lace garment. He pushed his hips up into hers, with a grunt, she was stunning, and her fingers tickled down his chest.
"Bedroom?" he muttered into her breasts.
He could feel her shaking her head, and undoing his belt.
He wasn't going to argue with her, and Beckett kissed him again, one hand slipping into his boxers and caressing his erection, squeezing a little hard when he pinched a nipple, and they both jumped towards each other.
"Beckett," he groaned, and he was going to tell her to slow down, but couldn't and wasn't sure he really wanted to.
And she really didn't want to stop.
"Kate," she told him. "Call me Kate," she said, between kisses and caresses, shifting and dropping to her knees in front of him.
She pulled down his trousers and boxers, leaving them pooled around his ankles as she leaned forward and took his erection into her mouth.
She looked up at him and sucked hard, he had to hold onto his seat to stop from putting his hands in her hair and fucking her mouth. Had to hold on really, really hard as she teased him and tortured him until he thought he was gonna come in her mouth and was really, really warming to the idea.
"Kate," he warned, and she pulled back suddenly, smiling for the first time for days.
"What's wrong Rick?" she said, grinning, standing to pull her own jeans off, her underwear too, and he reached out for her, one hand on her hip, the other cupping her and slipping his fingers through the wetness of her centre, making her moan softly.
"More," she said, reaching out to rest a hand on his shoulder to steady herself.
He pulled her towards him, both hands on her hips, and she straddled him once more, reaching for his erection. She slipped down onto him and he managed to stop from screaming, but did groan, and buck hard into the tight warmth of her body.
"Fuck, Kate, fuck."
She chuckled, kissing him, shifting on his lap, and he dropped his head onto her shoulder, groaning some more as he was seated deeper inside her body.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck," he repeated, and her laugh was a stutter of noise, and a ripple went from her chest down to where they were connected and he bucked up a little into her body again. He gripped her hips harder, and started to move against her, hard and fast, cause he needed her, and needed to come and needed it now.
He finally felt warm again, spreading from Beckett, and up to his chest, and he kissed her, hard, and she responded, moving faster. She was so tight around him, and he wanted to tell her how beautiful she was, how hot she felt, her skin, the tight muscles around his erection, her lips and tongue. H
He wanted to tell her how much he loved her, but couldn't quite get any of it out, not a word.
"Mmmmmmore," Kate sighed, and it took a few moments for the request to get past the pleasure as she fucked him. He managed to let go of one hip, and touch his fingers to her clit, softly at first to hear her sigh happily. "Yeah, yeah," she groaned.
He smiled this time, and slid her fingers over her a little harder this time, and she bucked into him, crying out loudly. He did it again, kissing her, and he felt her come around him, with a sob that was loud and beautiful and heartbreaking too. He thrust hard into her as she tightened around him, biting down on her shoulder when he came inside her, the deep growl lost in her skin and she yelped in response.
He almost fell off his seat, and managed to stay upright by holding onto Beckett, wrapping his arms around her and holding her tight. He heard another sob, then another, in between her panting, and he pulled back to see her crying. At first he thought maybe he had hurt her when he'd bitten her, but there was barely a mark now, and then he remembered what had happened tonight, why she would be crying. Why he was crying.
"Kate," he whispered. "It's okay."
He shushed her, ignoring his dick as it slipped from her body, and held her tight. She started rocking back and forth in his arms for a little while until the sobs stopped and she was still.
She didn't answer and he realised she'd fallen to sleep on him. Her clothes were in an heap on the floor, and his own slacks and boxers around his ankles. With some difficulty, he stood and wriggled to the sofa, placing her gently down while he pulled off his shoes and left his clothes in a pile next to hers, then, with the same amount of gentleness he picked her up and carried her to bed.
He woke up the next morning to find Kate watching him.
She looked heavenly he decided.
She was smiling, and looked more relaxed than she had done in days, and he felt the same, some of the heartbreak had melted away.
"Any regrets?" she asked.
He wanted to laugh, because he had none, none whatsoever, how could he? He had wanted to ask her the same thing.
"Not one," he said, leaning over to kiss her. She kissed back, shifting closer to him, and he was almost didn't ask.
"What about you?"
"I regret not doing this earlier," she told him, kissing him again, and he smiled, rolling her onto her back.
"I love you," he told her, looking down at her. He wanted to close his eyes, look away, not quite able to watch her reaction. She simply smiled at him.
"I know," she said, "I know."
He felt the panic build a little, and she kissed him, pulling him on top of her, and spreading her legs for him so he could settle between them, his morning erection pressing against her centre. She moaned, long and loud, shifting her hips against his but he pulled back, looking down at her.
"I need to hear you say it Kate," he whispered. "God, I need to hear you say something."
She closed her eyes, and craned her neck to kiss him briefly again, and he realised she was starting to cry.
"I know, I know," she said. "And I feel it, I do, I promise."
He believed her.