Living like me with you

Do you expect the queen of England to get on her knees and worship you? Do you have a smirk smile on your face right now? You're probably wondering who I am; a woman questioning your manliness. Well my dear reader, as when I speak to you with my face all of you men don't hear my voice I feel the only way for me to give you a reason to listen is to not inform you of the thing you most desire until the end. Therefore I feel obliged not to tell you if I ended up with the life I always wished for until I have told you my story.

But for now know this, I am a young woman brought up in the 18th century just come of legal age to marry. My father was a great man looked up to by many but wasn't able to be alive for my upbringing. With a mother worrying that I might never marry because my father's wealth went to the ground with him. Don't misunderstand me we still had one of the largest houses among the countrysideā€¦

Chapter one

The reason

"I'm sorry mother, I still don't understand what you are asking of me" I said trying to remember I need to keep my back straight and shoulders back.

"I don't see what you're finding so hard about this, I want you to ..." she spoke in that swift little voice of hers like what she was asking me wasn't a big deal. I was starting to feel like all the oxygen in this room had got and left us without bowing goodbye leaving nothing but stale air. I knew what she was asking of me, I just didn't want to admit it because then I would have to say yes.

She opens her mouth and then closes it again, I think it was hard for her to say the first time let alone again and having to fight me on this. "I want you to fulfil your obligation to the family. You are an only child; the reasonability to keep this family going is down to you. You need to marry. You need to find a husband. But most importantly you need to grow up!" By this point her voice is frantic. I don't want her to end up unwell from all this stress, the stress that I'm causing her. I mean what other choice do I have anyway? I might of being one of the lucky females to get a education but can't do anything with it. Jobs are for men only. No-one is going to hire a female, which thought is out of the question; in fact it's probably not even entered most people's minds.

"Mother worry not, I shall no longer go wondering off nor shall I play those childish games anymore." What I am saying might be killing me, but she's right. Unless I want to put my family to shame I need to grow up and stop all my foolishness. It will be hard of course but what else can I do? I will not let my father down. I will be a proper lady; this is what is asked of me.

She lets out a sigh of relief and I look down. My world of adventure and curiosity has come to an end and the one where I will be washing up and preparing dinner every day will soon begin.

M y mother noticed me look down and I'm assuming she thinks it's because I'm worried and not sad. Of course she does. No-one ever gets me anymore. Before his death my farther would always understand me and get me to see the light in this world when I was surrounded by darkness. I would tell him how it's unfair that just because of my gender I can't go and explore the after math of artefacts he would find.

He would encourage me that no day I might be able to. The idea seemed so possible at the time, it felt so real. But that idea was buried the day I was told I would that the next time I see him won't be on Earth but in Heaven, and a few days after that his body was buried.

"...So that's that worry out of the way" I must of drifted off again. That's something I am not allowed to do anymore.

"My apologies, but what worry is that?" I tried to make it sound like I was listening to her before and not daydreaming. It must work because she doesn't seem to think twice when answering.

"Who your future husband is going to be of course I said you are not to worry and that I have already arranged for you to go and a date to see if he is suitable" like I was worried. In fact I am a bit surprised she didn't just say I will marry him and is letting me see him before anything is official.

"Okay" that was all I responded with. My mind was in a thousand places at once, that was the best answer I could come up with.

So, what do you think? Should I carry on? This is my first Fanfic. Remember as this story goes on the chapters will be longer(: Please review!