One-shot I wrote when "the world was going to end." I had great fun asking friends further east how the Rapture was going!
"Have you heard the world is going to end on May 21st?" Uriel asked happily despite the fact that such a topic was not polite dinner discussion.
"It is? Awesome!" Michael exclaimed, jumping up in his excitement. "Finally! I am so ready to go for this! See, look, I've got my Anti-Lucifer Sword™ right here!" The impressive longsword found itself in the middle of Aziraphale's dining table, much to the latter angel's displeasure.
"I haven't heard such a thing, have you?" Raphael asked Gabriel. "Surely He would have told us?Even if He didn't tell us the last time? Which in retrospect makes sense, I suppose, seeing as that one didn't, ah, go through, so to speak."
Gabriel seemed nonplussed by the idea. "You know Father likes to keep us on our toes."
"The world has allegedly been scheduled to end hundreds of times," Aziraphale pointed out, although he had to spike his after-supper coffee in order to not start fretting. Really, he needed to stop being so fond of a place that had an expiration date. "It hasn't yet."
"And whose fault is that?" Gabriel asked him severely. Aziraphale merely coloured.
"And I have this Anti-Lucifer Knife™ that goes in my Anti-Lucifer Fireproof Stomping Boots™ just in case he decides to cheat and I need to cheat to even the score," Michael continued enthusiastically, adding another nondescript weapon to the growing pile of assorted implements on the table. "And this here is my Anti-Lucifer Wire Cutters™ in case I need to cut myself out of a net or something!"
"Regardless of Zizi's involvement, the fact remains that we can't know about the End Times, all we can do is prepare and hope Father's not merely pulling our legs," Raphael said, although there was worry in those green eyes. "Speaking of, I am going to have to refresh my mind as to which angel I am in the order of things. You know, with the seals and the horns and all that."
"And this is my Anti-Lucifer Dog™ in case he brings a cat!" Michael continued, placing a puppy on the table. It had a bow around its neck. It rolled over, and Michael rubbed its furry belly. Aziraphale sniffed in displeasure at having an animal on his dinner table, but remained quiet because it was so cute.
"I was under the impression that none of us have any idea which order we're in," Gabriel pointed out.
Aziraphale added, "Maybe that's a sign that this isn't It. You know, you haven't had any notice to practice, nor have you gotten clarification as to who blows which horn." He was glad Crowley had made himself scarce, as he could never resist telling him that he had the horn Aziraphale would be blowing right there, wink wink.
"This is my Anti-Lucifer Empty Bubble Gum Wrapper™, so I can say 'I'm here to kick ass and chew bubble gum, and I'm all out of bubble gum."
"Maybe we should start drilling again, just to be prepared," Raphael suggested to Gabriel. "It really has been awhile. We were all over the place for the fake-out."
"Good idea," Gabriel agreed.
Uriel, who had eaten all of the desserts while the others discussed hypotheticals, rubbed his rolly-polly belly and smiled at a job well done.