Kink meme prompt: Tormod/Sothe-Modern AU Sothe is a tattoo artist in New York City.

Anyone from Daein would get a Micaiah tattoo, when you think about it.

"I would like a tattoo," Pelleas chirped.

Tormod was sitting behind the front desk disposing of old receipts (by setting them on fire, of course), and he had to hide his snickering. Pelleas had been the student council president when he and Sothe were sophomores, because it was impossible to inot/i vote for those doe eyes. He hadn't done very much in the position, but everyone was happy because Pelleas was happy. Of course, in the years since graduation, Pelleas had also started dating Sothe's isister/i, making Sothe very unhappy, so Tormod was eager to see how this was going to go down.

Well, not literally; that was Tormod's job.

"Uh huh," said Sothe, not sounding convinced.

"It's also my birthday," Pelleas added happily, "and it's Soren's birthday too; we're twins. Not a lot of people know that, though."

"Happy birthday. Half off," Sothe deadpanned. Tormod covered his mouth to quell laughter, because Sothe loathed that policy almost as much as he hated the idea of Pelleas dating his sister.

"We're getting matching tattoos!"

Soren was sitting in the corner of the derelict-looking shop (but it was clean!) hastily thumbing at his smart phone. "We are not," the darker-haired brother sneered. "Even if I was getting a tattoo, which I am not, I would never get one that matched yours." Tormod remembered Soren too; valedictorian who managed to graduate unscathed because the captain of the football team had a crush on him, even if neither had known it at the time.

Pelleas was clearly not offended. "Well of course it wouldn't be exactly like mine; it would just be in the same style, silly." He looked back at Sothe and smiled. "I would like calligraphy of a name on my spine. Micaiah."

Sothe's eyes twitched, and Tormod could no longer hide his laughter.

"You want me to tattoo my sister's name on you," Sothe repeated, clearly not finding this at all funny.

Pelleas also did not find this funny, but for a different reason. "Yes, I do! She's very supportive of you, you know. And I got to see your work with Vika and was very impressed!"

"It was very good," Tormod added, earning a quick smack to his leg where Pelleas couldn't see it. He didn't feel guilty at all. "And considering Pelleas might be your brother-in-law someday, you should do it! As a token of brotherly love."

Pelleas blushed. Sothe gave Tormod a death glare. Tormod was undaunted.

"But, but what about your mother?" Sothe asked, looking a little desperate, "She doesn't strike me as the type to, ah, approve of you, um, marring yourself in such a way. You know, like a common degenerate instead of royalty?"

"You could just say she's crazy," Soren voiced from where he was still clearly doing important work* on his smart phone. "That would get the point across."

"Soooreeen Mother isn't crazy, she's just very enthusiastic regarding her precious baby boys," Pelleas replied fondly. Soren made a noise of disgust and continued to work. "And yes, my mother wouldn't approve, but what she doesn't know won't hurt her, right? And I love Micaiah and want to show the world how much I care."

Tormod was amused at the wheels turning in Sothe's mind as he desperately tried to come up with reasons why he couldn't do this. The half-melted bell on the door chimed and gave him a bit more time when two considerably larger men walked in. Tormod was awfully proud of himself for remembering everyone today; Ike was the aforementioned captain of the football team from high school (Tormod had tried to hate that tall musclehead, but it was impossible to hate Ike), and Ranulf was… Ranulf.

"I thought you were joking, really," said Ike, who didn't look like he cared either way who or what got tattoos. He sat next to Soren in the waiting chairs.

Ranulf was grinning broadly as he sauntered up to Pelleas and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "Do ya believe this was all his idea? I was expecting to be knitting doilies and picking flowers, but this guy right here," he gave Pelleas a gentle noogie, making the prince blush a little, "says that he wants to get a tattoo for his twenty-first birthday. I hope to have him in a strip club by the end of the night!"

Pelleas' blush grew far deeper. "I couldn't," he demurred. "Micaiah would object."

"Drunk off his ass in a strip club, like a real man," Ranulf reiterated, undeterred.

"Why did you invite him?" Soren asked Ike in a low voice.

"I figured Pelleas and Ranulf are like equal but opposing unstoppable forces and I wanted to watch them interact."

"… You are so lucky I love you, you oaf."

In the maelstrom resulting from Ike and Ranulf's arrival, Sothe had snuck under the desk and was crawling into the back room as stealthily as he could. Tormod debated ratting him out, but remembered that his sex life was just as important as his amusement. "Sorry everyone, but Sothe has IBS and he's the only one who does the actually work. I just handle the bills."

Pelleas pouted. Tormod realized that this is what it would feel like if he had accidentally kicked a basket full of kittens. "Er. Uh. Also, he has a flare-up of… um… gonorrhea."

"You don't get flare-ups of gonorrhea," Soren pointed out from his phone. "That's herpes."

Tormod cursed that encyclopedic brain. "Well, you know, gonorrhea, herpes, same thing, he has it, sorry, come back some other time!"

The four left, presumably to go pick flowers.

"I have IBS and herpes?" Sothe demanded once the door was shut. "Really? You couldn't have thought of a better excuse?"

"I'd like to see you come up with one," Tormod huffed. "The last time I set the place on fire you hated that idea too!"

"How about my phone rang?"

"How about your mom rang!"

They stared at each other. Finally Sothe grinned a little. "At least I didn't have to do that tattoo. But you're still an idiot."

"Well duh. I'm your idiot, and you're my idiot. It's how we roll."

They shared a chaste kiss before Tormod dragged him in the back room, being sure to turn the sign outside to Closed.

* Playing Angry Birds.