Title: Dumbledore's Prank Mistake

Rating: M

Summary: What happens when a prank goes wrong? ...Harry ends in the past is what!

Pairings: SS/HP/LM, SS/LM, SB/RL, JP/LE, HG/RW, DM/GW

Warning: Slash, mpreg, time travel


Dumbledore's Prank Mistake

CHAPTER 1

September...

It was a normal official first day for Hogwarts in the Great Hall. Students were sitting at their table; eating, talking, laughing, some still trying to wake up. Professors sat at the head table; eating, discussing their students, watching over said students.

There was a group over at one table that had one hanging off of another, making kissy faces and pronouncing his undying love, while one tried to convince his lovely redhead – again – to go out on a date with him. The one left just watching and stuffing his face.

At the table across the Hall sat two students, total opposites in looks. While one had white blonde hair that was tied back in a ponytail and had gray eyes, the other had black eyes and wore his hair down to his shoulders, black, and baby fine where it was easily passed as greasy. Especially seeing as his favorite subject was potions where fumes made anyone's hair greasy.

All was well and normal…until the doors swung open and in walked a small figure that was easily seen as upset.

"Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore!"

Everyone froze at not only the sudden appearance of the man, but the fact of how he just addressed Professor Dumbledore.

The small male figure - a striking image of a certain Gryffindor, however his features were more on the feminine side – stalked forward as he tugged on a robe over his clothes.

"How many times have I told you that our prank war is on hold? And this is even a little far for you! Merlin, when Sev and Luc hear what you did, they are going to murder you. And I'm just going to watch. Better yet, I'll sick Minnie and Poppy on you. That'll teach you!"

The figure ranted as he walked between the tables, struggling part of the way to put on his robe in his frustration until he got it on finally. He walked up to the table and looked at the Defense professor and frowned with his hands on his hips. "Who the hell are you and what are you doing in my seat?"

"I think the better question is who you are," their defense professor said with a sneer.

The male chuckled. "Wow Grandpa, you hired an idiot."

Gasps rang through the Hall and that seemed to finally grab the attention of the wizard. He turned to look around at the students with a frown before snapping to look at Dumbledore who was staring at him with a bright twinkle in his eyes.

"Oh shite."


Harry Potter was known for a temper, but it took a hell of a lot to make him snap and show it. Say…a psychotic dark wizard pointing his wand at not only his two best friends that are like brother and sister to him, but also at two men that he loved, and pointing it at them with the intent to kill.

Suffice to say, Voldemort didn't live to utter the new killing curse that he had invented to kill a group at a time and that he only knew the words to.

However, that wasn't what he was feeling at the moment.

He and Dumbledore had been in a prank war for the past six months; the end of the previous school year and the beginning of the summer. They had been going strong, that was until something came up last month that had immediately had not only Harry call a halt, but everyone else who knew them.

He had caught Dumbledore trying to prank him gently a few times in which he informed the older man of their time out, even the two men he loved had informed Dumbledore. That was why he had been surprised when he had been sitting in his chamber, drinking some tea before breakfast, he had felt dizziness coming over him.

Of course, he assumed it was Dumbledore's doing, he may be old but when it came to some things he was a child and didn't take no for answer. Only he was brave enough to go against Grandma Minnie and Poppy and continue to try and prank Harry. Hell, even Harry wasn't brave enough, but that was mostly because he knew if he pranked, Dumbledore would get even. That was what started the whole thing in the first place.

So, set on giving Dumbledore a talking to for pranking him, in which all he did was pass out, he stormed to the Great Hall once he knew what time it was. He wasn't that surprised to find himself alone when he woke as he had been alone before he drank his tea.

Storming through the doors, he yelled, "Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore!"

He was beyond angry at what he did. Even when Harry pranked the man that was practically a grandfather to him, he never did anything that would make the man go unconscious. And here Albus had done just that to Harry.

"How many times have I told you that our prank war is on hold? And this is even a little far for you! Merlin, when Sev and Luc hear what you did, they are going to murder you. And I'm just going to watch. Better yet, I'll sick Minnie and Poppy on you. That'll teach you!"

'That would definitely teach him,' he growled to himself as he tried to get his robe on in his frustration. Grandma Minnie and Auntie Poppy may have warned the man to stop, but now knowing what he did to Harry, the great Albus Dumbledore didn't stand a chance against those two women. Hell, not even Voldemort would have stood a chance against those two enraged mother hens.

He finally got the bloody robe on and was going to proceed to his chair when he saw someone sitting there. He didn't remember Grandpa hiring anyone new, they would have had a meeting weeks ago about it.

"Who the hell are you and what are you doing in my seat?"

The wizard sneered at him as he said, "I think the better question is who you are."

Harry wasn't one to like being in the spotlight, he even preferred if he wasn't, but he knew that this wizard should know who he was. He almost had to refrain from asking that egotistical question that many egotistical people asked. 'Do you have any idea who I am?' Yeah, he preferred not to say that, especially since the idiot already said he didn't know who he was. So, he went with the next best thing.

He chuckled. "Wow Grandpa, you hired an idiot."

Gasps rang through the Hall and Harry was suddenly alert. His students shouldn't be surprised at the way he spoke his thoughts, and definitely shouldn't be surprised at the way he called Albus his grandpa because everyone knew that that was the way their relationship was since the end of the war. He turned to look around at the students with a frown, not seeing a single face that was his student. Oh, he saw plenty of similarities, but not one student. Though he did see a few that shouldn't be there. He snapped back to finally look at Albus who didn't look like his Albus.

This Albus was younger, not too young. Just…20 years younger, and yet his twinkle was still there and glowing bright as he looked at the stranger that showed up out of nowhere. 'I hate that twinkle.'

"Oh shite."

'Albus, what the hell did you do?'

"Now, may I ask who you are young man?" he gently questioned Harry.

Harry looked around, seeing faces that shouldn't be there. Then again, he was the one that shouldn't be there. It was hard to tear his eyes away from the Gryffindor table, only to look at the Slytherin's and seeing two students that had him swallowing. 'Fuck!'

"I think it'd be better if we talked in private."

"I agree." Albus stood and announced, "I think it would be best if everyone headed off to their classes."

As the students slowly headed out, talking about what just happened and taking glances at the new wizard, Minerva spoke to Albus.

"How did he get in here Albus? Why is he calling you grandpa, and how does he know us?"

"That's what we're going to find out my dear," he gently said with a pat to her hand. He turned to Harry who was looking at Minnie. She was younger too, beautiful. She was always beautiful, but this was more.

He waved. "Hi Grandma," he smiled.

She gasped and stared at him with an open mouth before sputtering. "Wh-What in-in the- I n-n-never. Albus!"

Albus chuckled while patting her hand again. "Easy my dear. Now, who are you young man?"

Harry figured it wouldn't hurt as only Minnie, Albus, and Poppy were left in the Great Hall with him. The other professors had left to teach the students. He stuck out his hand. "Harry James Potter-Malfoy-Snape, bit of a mouthful. Great to meet you…again."

The older man smiled and took his hand in return. "Nice to meet you Harry. I'd introduce myself but it seems you already know me. Well, us," he corrected with a look to the other two women. Harry nodded with a smile for both women who gently returned it. "Now, Potter you say? I'm not surprised. You do look like James. Though you-"

"Have my mother's eyes. Yes, I know," he said. He's heard it more than he cared for as it always brought a bit of sadness that he had never seen those eyes for himself. Except for out of a photograph but that wasn't the same.

"Lily Evans?" Poppy asked.

Harry and Albus nodded together.

"So why are you calling him grandpa and me grandma?"

"You are family in everything but blood," he replied. And it was the truth. After the war and after he graduated, these two had taken to always checking up on him and having him over to visit. Eventually the roles just naturally came. Poppy was a bit different. He didn't necessarily think of her as a grandmother, more of an aunt and it's been that way since around his fifth year. He's been in the infirmary and under her care enough times.

Minnie hummed before turning to Albus. "Well?"

"What my dear?"

"What are we going to do? We can't just send him away, and it's also apparent that he's a defense professor from the future, but we already have one. Not to mention we have no idea how long he'll be here."

"Hmm, yes that is a problem," he said, looking off into space causing Harry to roll his eyes.

"A duel."

All eyes turned to Poppy. "What?"

"Have Mr. Potter here duel Professor O'Neil. Whoever wins, teaches."

Harry snorted. "Done." It would be easy. He wasn't conceited; he just knew his power and talent. He had been taught by Mad-Eye before he died in the final battle and he'd even defeated the paranoid Auror a time or two when they dueled. And since then, he's only gotten better. "When?"

"First we need to discuss this with Professor O'Neil, and then we'll decide. In the mean time, we can put you in a room to relax."

"Sure," he said. "But can Auntie Poppy take me?"

If Poppy was surprised by her title, she didn't show it. Though she did give a small smile to Harry who beamed back.

"If you wish."

After saying which room he's to be taken to, which was the same room he had in the future and the room he had appeared in, he and Poppy walked. "So…"

"How am I your auntie?"

Harry shrugged. "Just like how Albus and Minnie are my grandparents. In every way but blood." When she gave him a look he knew too well – when he ended up in the infirmary and he wasn't telling her everything, which she knew and proceeded to give him the look for the whole story – he continued. "Let's just say that I've been in the infirmary way too much for our liking – even have a bed assigned to me - and I've been under your care each time. In fact," he said thinking back to the final battle, "one time when there were multiple doctors and nurses and I was injured, you still wouldn't let anyone care for me. Even told a stubborn doctor to…'Back away from my nephew before I deal with you and you'll be the one needing a doctor,' I believe."

Poppy stared at him with surprised eyes before chuckling. "Sounds like me. Here we are."

They headed inside and Harry went to the couch.

"Now, Mr. Potter, what is it you need?"

He smirked as he knew he couldn't get anything past Auntie Poppy. "I need you to check and make sure my babies are okay."


"You did what!" Lucius hollered.

Severus watched his husband, one of his husbands, holler and yell at Albus. He too was upset. Upset didn't even describe how he felt at the news of what Albus had done to his other husband. The danger he had put him in, and in the state he was in. Albus was lucky he was still alive.

"How could you do such a thing! You know of his condition and you do this!"

"Lucius, I-"

"I don't want to hear it," Lucius said suddenly calm.

Severus watched, silently going through what curses he knew he could use on the Headmaster without causing too much damage. So far he had reached ten, and he still had a while to go before he reached the end of his knowledge. Then, research.

"You will find a way to bring our husband and babies back as I assume it's harder to bring someone to the future than take someone back; and also, you will make it possible for us to at least make a few visits to the past so he's not alone."

Albus stared at Lucius before nodding and trying to offer his last apology but they weren't listening.

Lucius and Severus both walked out of the Headmaster's office and to their quarters. Once there, they both collapsed on the couch.

"You know who he is right?" Severus finally asked. "I mean, before this even happened right?"

"Yes. The bloody defense professor we lusted after our seventh year."

Severus chuckled as he grabbed the blonde's hand and played with his fingers. "I assume you know what's probably going to be happening soon for Harry then."

"Yep. Remember it like it was yesterday," he smiled before frowning.

Not wanting to see that look on his husband's face, he softly kissed him and whispered, "Don't worry, we'll see him soon and have him back."

"I know."


"You're not serious?" Professor O'Neal spluttered as he stared at the Headmaster.

"I'm afraid so," he said. "Mr. Alex Pierson here would also like the job, and seeing as we believe he too would be a fine choice for the Defense position, we thought what better way than a duel. Winner takes the job, and the other takes substitute. If they choose to of course," Dumbledore said in his usual calm and reasonable voice. The voice that ensured that even the angriest wizard calmed down and couldn't refuse.

Harry had to refrain from chuckling as it's been used on him many times.

He watched as O'Neal sized him up, smirking when he was done before agreeing. Harry inwardly smirked at the man's cockiness, something he learned from his Slytherin husbands.'Never show or let on that you have the upper hand. Let them believe you to be weaker than you are before you put them in their place properly so that they know not to cross you again.' He had to remember that he wasn't in his own time where anyone would beg to get out of a one on one duel with him. Here, they obviously saw his size and assumed he couldn't handle himself. He wouldn't be surprised if O'Neal expected him to use small jinxes before he scrapped a knee and called uncle.

Well, he was in for a rude awakening. O'Neal hadn't been in a war and went up against Voldemort as many times as he has. He wasn't trained by a paranoid Auror that lived by 'CONSTANT VIGILANCE!' and never went anywhere without seven back up wands. He wasn't married to two Slytherins that had furthered his teaching as they wanted to ensure that their husband could take care of himself.

O'Neal suggested they do it as soon as possible, even suggested doing it in front of the students. Harry found no problem with it; it would ensure his future students knew that he did know what he was teaching.

As dinner came and went, Dumbledore stood to announce the duel. "Now, we will be having a duel."

All the students sat up straight as they tried to see him better at such an announcement. Harry chuckled.

"As we have two Defense Professors here, we need one and a duel seemed fitting. So, Professor O'Neal and Professor Pierson if you will?"

The tables disappeared as the dueling platform appeared in the middle. Students gathered around to see better and Harry took his position. He whispered a protection barrier around his stomach just in case he wasn't able to protect it for some reason and finally turned to O'Neal.

"Duelers bow," Dumbledore commanded.

Harry bowed with his head as it was the right way, instead of the florish bow O'Neal did. It reminded him of Lockhart which had him mentally laughing as he remembered the way Severus had taught that peacock a lesson.

"On the count of three, you will begin. The last one standing wins; no Unforgiveable and dark magic."

Harry inwardly bristled at that. He had to again remember what time he was in as most of the neutral magic in his own time was considered dark here. It took away half of his knowledge, but didn't make him helpless. He had practically lived off the spell Expelliarmus before Moody for Merlin sake.

"One."

Harry stayed in his position as O'Neal raised his wand.

"Two."

He closed his eyes and took a calming breath in and out to gather his magic and make sure his protection barrier on his stomach stayed intact before opening his eyes again.

"Three."

"Furnunculus!" O'Neal cast and Harry simply cast a protego. He continued to do so as O'Neal's spells came.

"Is that all you know Pierson?" he taunted and Harry simple smiled.

"Students, there are rules to dueling," he instructed as he continued to just cast protego, throwing a simple curse at him every now and again.

"One, when in a dueling such as this, you do not bow as Professor O'Neal did. All that is needed is a nod as that is the respectable way. You are about to duel this witch or wizard, you do not bow before them as if you worship the ground they walk on."

The students watched and listened as Harry spoke.

"Two, start simple. Get a feel of your opponent, also with starting simple, you're conserving your energy. Powerful spells take powerful energy."

His point was obviously right in front of them as O'Neal started to pant a bit while Harry talked as if walking in the park and having fun.

"Three, slowly progress." Spells that were a bit harder came from Harry's lips and he started being the aggressor while O'Neal was left protecting himself.

"Four," Harry smiled as he allowed O'Neal to throw a spell and configured a stone figure of a funny looking O'Neal to take the spell, "have fun." He winked to the Marauders who were in the front and configured O'Neal in a ballerina costume. Laughter filled the Great Hall as he transfigured the face to a horror mask just as O'Neal's curse hit.

"Five, don't be afraid to use something from another class." He charmed his next statue to do jumping jacks while singing I'm a Little Teapot.

"And last but not least," he said with a simple Expelliarmus, knocking O'Neal out, "sometimes a simple spell is what gets you the win."

Applause came from the students as Harry bowed with dramatics, copying O'Neal which got some laughs.

"I believe we have our new Defense teacher…Professor Pierson."


A/N: Well I hoped you at least liked the beginning. Review!