Replies:

tdwtrulz1022. . . . Right? And I never expected it because I never read the books so I was like "(gasp) Thats soooo sad!"

wingswordsandsandmetaphors. . . . Yeah, So far it's my favorite of the titles lol

Future Starkid Member. . . . I'd like to. Do you have anyone in mind?

SokkasFirstFanGirl. . . . Yeah ha ha so I pulled a Team Four Star and started the Draco Ownage count. I expect it to be well into the hundreds by the end of the story lol

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Chapter 19. im nut ok i promise

Harry: Holy crap! This one has a chapter title!

Snape: Is it just me, or do her chapter titles not make any sense?

AN: plz stup flaming da story if u do ur a foken prep n ur jelous ok!

Hermione: Uh-huh. I'm insanely jealous of your top-notch writing skills and uncanny plot developement. That's it. You caught me.

Sirius: Oh, and let's not forget her poignant story of true love, friendship, sex, drugs, and rock n' roll. Hell, I daresay it's better than award winning rock n' roll bios like "The Doors" or "The Rose". Man...I envy you, Tara. I really do.(troll face)

11 frum noq un im gong 2 delt ur men reviowz!111 BTW evonyd a poorblod so der!1 fangz 2 raven 4m da help!11

Snape: Okay. I think she is trying to say "One, one. From now on, I'm going to delete your mean reviews! One, one, one. By the way, Ebony is a pure blood, so there! One. Thanks to Raven for the help. One, one."

Remus: Damn...I was WAYYY off...I thought she was saying something about singing tennis balls, but that makes a lot more sense...

Draco: Wait a minute...You can't be a pure blood witch and be a vampire too, can you?

Sirius: Bad news, Ebony. Looks like your mother. . . . fucked a vampire. DUN, DUN DUUUUN.

Draco: THAT WHORE. SHUN THE MUDBLOOD! SHUUUN! SHUUUUN!

Hermione: Bogus as ever...

]All day we sat angerly finking about were so fucking pissed off.

McGonagall: Random bracket?

Well, I had one thing to look forward too- da MCR concert.

Ron: Another one?

It had been postphoned, so we could all go.

Dumbledore: How convenient...

McGonagall: She absolutely LIVES off of plot devices, doesn't she?

Anyway, I went to the common room sadly to cut classes.

Sirius: Wouldn't it make more sense if they angrily cut classes? Not that it would sound less moronic, but, you know me. I'm a helpful bloke, I am.

Draco was being all secretive.

Dobby: Not good...Honesty is the key to a healthy relationship.

I asked what it was and he got all mad me and started crying all hot and angsty (rnt sensitve bi guyz so hot).

Draco: Eww...

Hermione: Yum. Tears of blood.

Dobby: Dobby thinks Hermione means "Tearz of blud" lol

Hermione: Ha! Good one.

"No one fucking understands me!1" he shouted angrily

Remus: Wow. Drama queen, much?

Draco: Why does she put random 1's in the middle of sentances? Does anyone know this?

as his black hare

Dumbledore: Aww, Draco has a pet bunny rabbit too! Let's arrange play dates so our bunnies can play together!

Draco: Uhh...

went in his big blue eyes like Billie Joe in Boulevard of Borken Dreamz.

Ron: Borken...that's a funny word too.

Snape: Big blue eye? More like beady little peep holes that resemble a rodent's. A sewer rat's, maybe...

Draco: Thanks.

Sirius: Draco ownage count: 22.

He was wearing black baggy paints, a black MCR t-shirt and a black die. (geddit insted of tie koz im goffik)

Sirius: DUDE. DUDE. DUDE. DUDE. Are you fucking kidding me?

I was wearing a blak leather low cut top with chains all over it all over it a blak leather mini, black high held boots and a cross belly fing. My hair was al up in a messy relly high bun like Amy Lee in Gong Under. (email me if u wana see da pik)

Sirius: F%*$ NO I DON'T WANNA SEE THE PIC! WHY THE F&%* WOULD I F*&$ WANNA F%&* SEE A MOTHERF*&$ PIC, YOU STUPID MOTHERF$%*? ARGGH, THE F*&% NERVE OF THIS F$%*-

Everyone stares as bleep fest continues.

Remus: Oh no...(bleeping continues in the background)

Hermione: I knew it wouldn't be long before this turned into an episode of "The Osbournes"

Harry: I think we borked him...

McGonagall: Should we call a paramedic?

Sirius: (panting) Okay...sorry. I'm back now. So...how many bleeped fucks are we at? Like...30?

Everyone: (nods and murmers in agreement)

Dumbledore: Seems to me like a fair estimate.

"Accuse me? What about me!" I growled.

Snape: You? Pardon me if I'm out of line, but when did this suddenly become about you, Ebony?

Harry: Yeah, Draco. What are you waithing for? Dump her ass?

Draco: Somebody, just Avada Kadavra me now. Please.

"Buy-but-but-" he grunted.

"You fucking bastard!" I moaned.

"No! Wait! It's not what it fucking looks like!" he shouted.

Draco: WHAT? WHAT DOES IT FUCKING LOOK LIKE? I'M SERIOUSLY CONFUSED, HERE!

But it was to late. I knew what I herd.

Draco: WHAT DID YOU HEAR? OH, GOD, I HATE THIS FRIGGING STORY!

I ran to the bathroom angrily, cring.

Sirius: (bursts out laughing) Cring? What the hell is cring?

Ron: The bathroom door hinges are Italian, so whenever they squeak, they go "Cring, cring!" with a funny accent.

Snape: It's sad that out of everything I've heard you say, that makes the most sense.

Draco banged on the door.

Ron: Ha ha he fucked the door.

Hermione: Shh...no more speaking.

I whipped and whepped

Snape: I think she means "weeped and weeped"

as my blody eyeliner streammed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my feces

Sirius: Her poop was crying?

like Benji in the video for Girls and Bois (raven that is soo our video!)

Harry: OH MY GOD, WHO CARES?

\I TOOOK OUT A CIGARETE END STARTED TO smoke pot.

Sirius: Remember kids: Stay above the influence. This message brought to you by your friends at Hogwarts.

Suddenly Hargrid came. He had appearated.

"You gave me a fucking shock!" I shouted angrily dropping my pot.

Ron: How can you be angry when you're smoking pot? Pot makes everything awesome.

Snape: Of course, you would know.

"Wtf do you fink you're doing in da gurl's room?"

Only it wasn't just Hargrid. Someone else was with him too!

Sirius: Now she sees this second person? Where was he hiding? Up Hagrid's ass?

For a second I wanted it 2 b Tom Rid or maybe Draco but it was Dumblydore.

Dumbledore: Oh, Dobby's sock!

Dobby: Dobby takes offense to that.

"Hey I need to ask you a question." he said, pulling out his black wanabe-goffik purse.

Dumbledore: WHAAAT?

Harry: Ha ha wtf?

"What are u wearing to the concert?"

"U no who MCR r!" I gasped.

"No I just saw there was a concert dat a lot of gothz and punx were going 2." He said. "Anyway Draco has a surprise for u."