tdwtrulz1022. . . . Right? And I never expected it because I never read the books so I was like "(gasp) Thats soooo sad!"
wingswordsandsandmetaphors. . . . Yeah, So far it's my favorite of the titles lol
Future Starkid Member. . . . I'd like to. Do you have anyone in mind?
SokkasFirstFanGirl. . . . Yeah ha ha so I pulled a Team Four Star and started the Draco Ownage count. I expect it to be well into the hundreds by the end of the story lol
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Chapter 19. im nut ok i promise
Harry: Holy crap! This one has a chapter title!
Snape: Is it just me, or do her chapter titles not make any sense?
AN: plz stup flaming da story if u do ur a foken prep n ur jelous ok!
Hermione: Uh-huh. I'm insanely jealous of your top-notch writing skills and uncanny plot developement. That's it. You caught me.
Sirius: Oh, and let's not forget her poignant story of true love, friendship, sex, drugs, and rock n' roll. Hell, I daresay it's better than award winning rock n' roll bios like "The Doors" or "The Rose". Man...I envy you, Tara. I really do.(troll face)
11 frum noq un im gong 2 delt ur men reviowz!111 BTW evonyd a poorblod so der!1 fangz 2 raven 4m da help!11
Snape: Okay. I think she is trying to say "One, one. From now on, I'm going to delete your mean reviews! One, one, one. By the way, Ebony is a pure blood, so there! One. Thanks to Raven for the help. One, one."
Remus: Damn...I was WAYYY off...I thought she was saying something about singing tennis balls, but that makes a lot more sense...
Draco: Wait a minute...You can't be a pure blood witch and be a vampire too, can you?
Sirius: Bad news, Ebony. Looks like your mother. . . . fucked a vampire. DUN, DUN DUUUUN.
Draco: THAT WHORE. SHUN THE MUDBLOOD! SHUUUN! SHUUUUN!
Hermione: Bogus as ever...
]All day we sat angerly finking about were so fucking pissed off.
McGonagall: Random bracket?
Well, I had one thing to look forward too- da MCR concert.
Ron: Another one?
It had been postphoned, so we could all go.
Dumbledore: How convenient...
McGonagall: She absolutely LIVES off of plot devices, doesn't she?
Anyway, I went to the common room sadly to cut classes.
Sirius: Wouldn't it make more sense if they angrily cut classes? Not that it would sound less moronic, but, you know me. I'm a helpful bloke, I am.
Draco was being all secretive.
Dobby: Not good...Honesty is the key to a healthy relationship.
I asked what it was and he got all mad me and started crying all hot and angsty (rnt sensitve bi guyz so hot).
Hermione: Yum. Tears of blood.
Dobby: Dobby thinks Hermione means "Tearz of blud" lol
Hermione: Ha! Good one.
"No one fucking understands me!1" he shouted angrily
Remus: Wow. Drama queen, much?
Draco: Why does she put random 1's in the middle of sentances? Does anyone know this?
as his black hare
Dumbledore: Aww, Draco has a pet bunny rabbit too! Let's arrange play dates so our bunnies can play together!
went in his big blue eyes like Billie Joe in Boulevard of Borken Dreamz.
Ron: Borken...that's a funny word too.
Snape: Big blue eye? More like beady little peep holes that resemble a rodent's. A sewer rat's, maybe...
Sirius: Draco ownage count: 22.
He was wearing black baggy paints, a black MCR t-shirt and a black die. (geddit insted of tie koz im goffik)
Sirius: DUDE. DUDE. DUDE. DUDE. Are you fucking kidding me?
I was wearing a blak leather low cut top with chains all over it all over it a blak leather mini, black high held boots and a cross belly fing. My hair was al up in a messy relly high bun like Amy Lee in Gong Under. (email me if u wana see da pik)
Sirius: F%*$ NO I DON'T WANNA SEE THE PIC! WHY THE F&%* WOULD I F*&$ WANNA F%&* SEE A MOTHERF*&$ PIC, YOU STUPID MOTHERF$%*? ARGGH, THE F*&% NERVE OF THIS F$%*-
Everyone stares as bleep fest continues.
Remus: Oh no...(bleeping continues in the background)
Hermione: I knew it wouldn't be long before this turned into an episode of "The Osbournes"
Harry: I think we borked him...
McGonagall: Should we call a paramedic?
Sirius: (panting) Okay...sorry. I'm back now. So...how many bleeped fucks are we at? Like...30?
Everyone: (nods and murmers in agreement)
Dumbledore: Seems to me like a fair estimate.
"Accuse me? What about me!" I growled.
Snape: You? Pardon me if I'm out of line, but when did this suddenly become about you, Ebony?
Harry: Yeah, Draco. What are you waithing for? Dump her ass?
Draco: Somebody, just Avada Kadavra me now. Please.
"Buy-but-but-" he grunted.
"You fucking bastard!" I moaned.
"No! Wait! It's not what it fucking looks like!" he shouted.
Draco: WHAT? WHAT DOES IT FUCKING LOOK LIKE? I'M SERIOUSLY CONFUSED, HERE!
But it was to late. I knew what I herd.
Draco: WHAT DID YOU HEAR? OH, GOD, I HATE THIS FRIGGING STORY!
I ran to the bathroom angrily, cring.
Sirius: (bursts out laughing) Cring? What the hell is cring?
Ron: The bathroom door hinges are Italian, so whenever they squeak, they go "Cring, cring!" with a funny accent.
Snape: It's sad that out of everything I've heard you say, that makes the most sense.
Draco banged on the door.
Ron: Ha ha he fucked the door.
Hermione: Shh...no more speaking.
I whipped and whepped
Snape: I think she means "weeped and weeped"
as my blody eyeliner streammed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my feces
Sirius: Her poop was crying?
like Benji in the video for Girls and Bois (raven that is soo our video!)
Harry: OH MY GOD, WHO CARES?
\I TOOOK OUT A CIGARETE END STARTED TO smoke pot.
Sirius: Remember kids: Stay above the influence. This message brought to you by your friends at Hogwarts.
Suddenly Hargrid came. He had appearated.
"You gave me a fucking shock!" I shouted angrily dropping my pot.
Ron: How can you be angry when you're smoking pot? Pot makes everything awesome.
Snape: Of course, you would know.
"Wtf do you fink you're doing in da gurl's room?"
Only it wasn't just Hargrid. Someone else was with him too!
Sirius: Now she sees this second person? Where was he hiding? Up Hagrid's ass?
For a second I wanted it 2 b Tom Rid or maybe Draco but it was Dumblydore.
Dumbledore: Oh, Dobby's sock!
Dobby: Dobby takes offense to that.
"Hey I need to ask you a question." he said, pulling out his black wanabe-goffik purse.
Harry: Ha ha wtf?
"What are u wearing to the concert?"
"U no who MCR r!" I gasped.
"No I just saw there was a concert dat a lot of gothz and punx were going 2." He said. "Anyway Draco has a surprise for u."