"Oh, Itachi-kun, please stop crying…" It wasn't fair; I was the one who was supposed to be upset! "You're making me cry!"
I held my two-year-old nephew tightly as I tried to calm him down. I don't know why he was crying; he just was! It was like he was copying me, or something! I mean… not that I wasn't crying without reason, of course… I just recently lost my brother due to a drunk driver.
Izuna and I were close. We were as close as two brothers could be. When I was told he was dead, at only seventeen, I was shattered. But it was like I was the only one in my entire family who cared about Izuna.
"Unkle Madawa…" I looked down to see my nephew, Itachi, wiggling around in my grip. "I want go down!"
I nodded and as I placed him on his feet I wiped at my tears. Why could I not stop crying? I was an Uchiha for kami's sake! Trying not to cry again I watched as Itachi walked slowly down the hallway before disappearing into his room. At least he had calmed down, right?
I sprawled down onto my couch and nestled in close, trying to hold the heartbreak away. I had to be strong for Itachi! I couldn't let him see me cry! If he did, he might think it's okay to cry… Not that I think crying was wrong, of course; my brother was the biggest sook around! He would cry over everything! If he didn't get to watch his favourite TV shows, he would cry. If he didn't get what he wanted for dinner, he would cry. If he fell off our bed during the night and didn't even bruise himself, he would cry.
But he always, always had me there for him. No one else ever cared.
I stifled a loud sob as a tiny hand grabbed at my pants and I looked down to see Itachi tugging at me, wanting my attention.
"What is it, Itachi-kun?"
"I want up! Up!"
I smiled weakly and picked the adorable two-year-old up, hugging him tightly. I loved this boy to death. I was glad my older brother, Fugaku, dumped him off on me; I needed someone to be with. It was when I noticed Itachi had dragged out his favourite stuffed toy, a small dinosaur, I realised he wanted to cheer me up. My suspicions were proved correct as I was handed the toy with a large smile from Itachi.
"Unkle Madawa be happy wif Aka!" Itachi smiled happily, thrusting the red dinosaur into my chest.
"…" I took the stuffed animal from him gingerly before hugging it close and bursting into more tears. "Itachi-kun…!"
I couldn't help but feel the depression taking over me; that was the same toy Izuna had given Itachi for his first birthday, and even though Itachi was incredibly smart (hey, just because he spoke like a baby didn't mean he thought like one!) it was probably too early for him to remember who had given it to him.
"Iz…" I had to tell Itachi, right? To make him understand. "…Izuna was the one who bought Aka for you, Itachi-kun…" I explained sadly.
"Oh…" Itachi was downcast by his failure at cheering me up. I was slightly startled as he suddenly cheered up almost instantly once more. "I know! We go see Hashiwama-sama!"
I frowned and petted Itachi's head. "Maybe not today, Itachi…"
"Why not?" Itachi looked up at me with those big, black eyes of his. "Hashiwama-sama always make Unkle Madawa happy! I can hear you being happy together."
"…" I didn't know what to say to Itachi; how could I tell a two-year-old I was sleeping with my next-door neighbour?
"Unkle Madawa? Hashiwama-sama makes Unkle Madawa happy so you should see Hashiwama-sama!"
I flinched as I felt my private area spring to life at the mention of my lover's name. Itachi noticed it, too, as he asked what was in my pocket because something was poking him and it was then and there I picked Itachi up and carried him next door to Senju Hashirama's home.
"Senju!" I called out desperately, feeling my erection becoming ever more persistent. "Senju, open up! Please!"
The door opened slowly and I was greeted by Hashirama's younger brother, Tobirama. He looked like he had just gotten out of bed. Looking at my watch, I guessed I was probably right; even though it was almost twelve in the afternoon, Tobirama would still normally be asleep at this time.
"What do you want?" Tobirama sneered at me, not bothering to hide that he was still in pyjamas and his hair was messed up from sleeping.
"I need to see Hashirama…" I whispered, not bothering to fight with the younger Senju today; I was in too much pain and I didn't want my precious nephew to have to see us fight.
Tobirama raised an eyebrow at my tear-stained face but questioned no further and stepped back, allowing me to enter the Senju residence with my nephew.
"In the study," Tobirama said before leaving to head back to the couch (somewhere I noticed he slept a lot of the time, though why he slept there I didn't know).
"Come on, Itachi-kun," I placed Itachi on his feet and took him by his hand, leading him down to the study. I knocked on the door and opened it, finding my lover looking over papers in intense concentration.
"Hashirama?" I whispered.
Hashirama looked up and smiled, standing up to come and hug me tightly. As he tried to kiss me I reluctantly pushed him away and as he looked at me questioningly I pointed to Itachi, happy to see him smile in understanding.
"Of course," he said kindly, smiling at Itachi and leaning down to pet his head. "Hello, Itachi-kun. Long time no see."
"Itachi-kun, I've told you not to call me 'sama'…" Hashirama frowned.
"Unkle Madawa says have to!" Itachi shot back defensively. "Unkle Madawa says Hashiwama-sama best man in world!"
Hashirama turned to smile at me and I knew what he was planning. My suspicions were proved correct as my lover turned back to Itachi, pushing gently on his shoulders.
"Go find Tobirama and annoy him for a while, okay?" He said kindly. "Madara and I are going to be busy again in here."
Itachi smiled and hugged us both before leaving, calling out for the younger Senju, leaving Hashirama and I alone.
"So, Madara," Hashirama begun, sympathy in his voice. "…I heard about Izuna…"
I lowered my gaze, hiccupping slightly. "…"
"Madara, honey…" Hashirama hugged me tightly, whispering to me soothing words.
"Hashirama…" I choked out, burying my face in his shoulder. "…I miss my otouto so much already! I want Izuna back! Izuuuunaaaaa!"
Hashirama held me tightly as I broke down, ignoring as my dying erection poked at him and gently manoeuvring us so we were sitting down at the desk, Hashirama sitting on his chair with me in his lap. He held me lovingly, allowing me to cry and wail Izuna's name desperately.
It took me a long time to calm down until I was left with only hiccups and a throbbing headache. I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open.
"Are you okay, now, honey?" Hashirama asked gently, stroking my back lovingly.
I shook my head and tried to glare at the Senju: how could he think I would be okay! "No, Hashirama, I'm not! Izuna's gone and he's never coming back!"
"Honey, you know I didn't mean it like that…" Hashirama was gentle as he spoke but he was used to my random outbursts and wasn't fazed.
I lowered my gaze; Hashirama was only concerned about me. "…"
"Hey, don't beat yourself up about it," the older Senju smiled at me, nudging me gently. "I know you well enough to know that you want to apologise but you're too proud."
"…" I blushed and looked away.
Hashirama kissed at my neck, biting softly, marking every visible inch of my skin with his teeth. I groaned softly and allowed the older man to make me his.
"Are you in the mood?" Hashirama whispered, and I knew that Hashirama would never force me into anything if I said no.
I thought about it before nodding slightly. I was upset, but it wouldn't be the first time Hashirama would have taken me when I was upset. The other times he did usually cheered me up, even if it were just a little.
"Would you like to take it to my bedroom?" Hashirama asked kindly, smiling reassuringly at me.
I sighed; I was too tired to have to walk to his bedroom. Here would do, right? Would Hashirama care?
"Can we do it here?" I mumbled softly. "I'm too tired…"
Hashirama frowned and hugged me tightly. "If you're too tired then we don't have to, Madara…"
I shook my head. "'S kay…"
Hashirama tutted as he looked me over. "Honey, you're exhausted! How long have you been neglecting yourself?"
I couldn't meet my lover's eyes as I whispered ashamedly to him just how long it had been since I've eaten or cleaned myself. "…Since Izuna's death…"
Hashirama hugged me, kissing me on the forehead. "That's a little over a week, Madara… Honey, you can't do this to yourself!"
I shrugged, and as weak as I was feeling, maybe sex wasn't the best idea right now. "…I miss my otouto…"
Hashirama released me and stared into my eyes. "I won't make love to you while you're like this, Madara. Sex comes last in a relationship! I'm going to take care of you seeing as you can't take care of yourself, right now. Come; let's take a bath."
"Together?" I tried to sound excited but I just couldn't feel it right now; I may have been aroused before but not anymore.
"No, Madara. I will be helping you clean yourself. After that, we'll have some lunch and then we'll go and have a sleep, okay?"
"What about Itachi-kun?"
"Tobi loves Itachi-kun. He'll take care of him."
"I know what you're thinking, honey. Tobirama hates you, but loves Itachi-kun, right?"
I nodded. Hashirama was like a mind reader sometimes. "…"
"Tobi doesn't hate you, Madara… He's jealous. When I'm with you I don't spend as much time with him. He's just jealous of you, that's all."
"…" I couldn't believe that; Tobirama despised every fibre of my existence; I was sure of it. "…Itachi-kun?"
"Tobi loves kids and Itachi-kun is such a polite, young man. Tobi can't get enough of him."
Well, so Tobirama hated my very existence but absolutely adored my nephew? Hypocrite…
"Come," Hashirama smiled, tugging at my hand gently. "Let's go to the bathroom, okay? I'll wash your hair for you."
I smiled sadly at my older lover; he knew my hair was one of my weaknesses. Hey! It felt great to have hands run through my hair and massage my scalp so gently… It was one of the things Hashirama loved to do to me after we made love because he knew it would relax me and soothe me from all my negative thoughts.
I followed Hashirama to the bathroom and allowed the Senju to cuddle me as the taps ran to fill the bath. Hashirama loved to spoil me.
"Oh, 'Dara…" Hashirama moaned as he kissed and licked at my neck. "I love you so much…"
"Hashirama…" I whimpered, trying to pull away; I was getting frightened by the neediness in the Senju's voice.
Hashirama got the hint and removed his mouth, resting his chin on my head. He understood that I was getting uncomfortable and he had never once forced me or pressured me into anything sexual, no matter how hard his erection was. He just wasn't that kind of person.
"I'm sorry, Madara…" He whispered, his warm breath on my ear sending shivers down my spine. "I understand…"
I smiled weakly and grabbed his hand, holding it. "It's not your fault…"
Once the bath was filled, Hashirama helped me into it, lavishing my body with loving attention, scrubbing every inch of my skin but never once trying to take advantage of me in my state, even though I could clearly see his surely-throbbing arousal trying to break through his pants.
Once I was deemed clean enough, and Hashirama awoke me from my small nap (hey, getting bathed by your gorgeous lover can sure tire you out!) he carried me to his bedroom and lay me in the bed, covering me up with his warm blankets. He kissed me on the cheek before heading back out the door.
"I'll make us some lunch," he called over his shoulder before quietly shutting the door behind me for my own privacy.
I sighed in content and snuggled down into the comfortable mattress, getting myself comfortable. I wasn't usually one for sleeping naked, but hey! At least it's with Hashirama; the same man who has seen me naked for over ten years. …Yeah… We had been fucking since before I was even in middle school… Don't judge me…
Just as I was about to fall asleep once more, the Senju's hand was on my shoulder. I opened my eyes and sat up, allowing Hashirama to handfeed me. Hashirama had always been kind to me. He had never hurt me before. The only times he had was when he would take me for the first few times. He always tried to be as gentle as possible but it still hurt because he was so big.
"Hashirama…" I whispered, turning away from the food.
"…I'm…" I didn't know what to say. "Can we have sex?"
Hashirama frowned and put the food down. "Madara, I told you; I won't have sex with you if you won't look after yourself!"
"But…" I looked down at the mattress, tears filling my eyes. Kami, I missed Izuna so much! "…I miss my otouto…"
"Oh, baby…" Hashirama pulled me into a tight hug, gently stroking my hair and petting me lovingly. "…I can't imagine how you feel, poor darling… I would be heartbroken if I lost Tobi…"
"Please…" I whispered, gripping at his arm desperately; I just didn't want to think about Izuna anymore! The pain was just so bad! "Please, don't let me keep remembering… Please, Hashirama… Hashirama, it hurts so much! I miss Izuna! I want him back! Why did he have to die! Why!"
"Shh…" Hashirama laid me back on the bed and lay beside me, kissing me gently. "Don't think. I know what I said before, but… I can't imagine how you're feeling. I'll make love to you but you have to promise to make an effort to take care of yourself. Okay, honey?"
Hashirama smiled and rolled on top of me, slowly unbuttoning my shirt and pulling it off. He planted kisses along my neck, licking at my collarbone; he knew that always drove me crazy.
"Ahh!" I moaned loudly, moving my head back and forth in pleasure. "Ooohhhh… Hashirama…. Mmmm!"
Hashirama trailed his hands down my side as he continued his assault on my neck, stroking ever so gently against my skinny body. I lifted my arms up to wrap around the Senju's neck, pulling him closer as I placed my lips against his roughly, demanding entrance.
The Senju allowed me in and I attacked every inch of his mouth for the something-billionth time, tasting all over and sucking on his tongue. Hashirama groaned softly, squeezing my hips gently, rubbing his hard length over my own.
I broke away from the pleasure, crying out loudly, bucking up in uncontrollable bliss. I ground back against him, unable to keep my voice down; with him returning his mouth back to my neck as he grinded against my erection I was in pure ecstasy.
"Madara, baby," Hashirama moaned quietly, smiling at me as his eyes closed halfway.
"M-more!" I gasped out, grabbing at the Senju's ass and squeezing it. I wriggled around under him, needing to move.
The Senju pulled away, lowering himself down to eye-level with my hole. He licked his lips in anticipation before sticking his tongue out and licking it. I loved it so much. I moaned loudly, crying out as he placed his tongue inside me.
"Kami!" I screamed, tears of pleasure rolling down my cheeks. "Hashirama! Kami, it's so good!"
The Senju smirked, reaching a hand down to his own hardened self, pumping it slowly. He removed his tongue from my over-worked entrance to cry out my name.
After that, Hashirama assaulted my fully-hard member, taking it in my mouth so tenderly. I loved the way he sucked and licked on it; the way he bobbed up and down. How he would run his teeth along it ever so carefully.
It wasn't long before I came into his mouth and he swallowed it all lovingly. He kissed me, allowing me to taste myself on his tongue before groaning my name again.
"Madara…" Hashirama moved himself down to my entrance, not even bothering to prepare me fully; what was the point? He had been in me so many times my entrance kind of just stopped tightening properly. Besides, just using his tongue inside of me is usually enough for me now.
I cried out as he hit my pleasure-spot straight away; he always knew where to go for my pleasure. He pulled out slowly, thrusting back in gently, the epitome of a caring lover.
"Hashirama…" As he lay back on my body to kiss me, I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him closer. "Hashirama…"
Hashirama let out quiet noises of pleasure while I was the opposite. I was loud, and I cried out my lover's name constantly.
"Shh, honey…" Hashirama said, stroking my cheek. "Itachi is in the other room, remember?"
I nodded, my eyelids half-lidded in bliss. "Hashirama…"
Hashirama thrust in again, causing me to let out another uncontrolled cry. "Ahh…!
"Madara!" One thing I knew about Hashirama was that at the beginning he was quiet, but as he neared his climax he would get louder.
"Madara-chan! Madara-chan!" It looked like Hashirama was nearing it already. I wasn't exactly surprised; he and Tobirama had just recently gotten back from a three-month vacation and he wasn't the kind of guy who would cheat on his lover, no matter what. In fact, I don't think he even touches himself.
"Hashirama! I'm coming!" I couldn't hold it back anymore; it had been a long three months for me, too. No matter how often I touched myself, or tried to simulate my prostate, trying to imagine it was my Senju, it just wasn't the same. I had eventually gotten blue-balls because of the lack of sex, and it was painfully hard (no pun intended) to try and hide it from Itachi.
"Come with me, honey…" Hashirama muttered, smiling at me.
That did it. With a loud scream I released all over our chests, and as I tightened around on Hashirama's member, I milked him dry as well.
We lay there, panting and exhausted, until Hashirama rolled over and lay on the bed, patting his chest and asking for me to lay my head there. Hashirama always had been a romantic. I rolled my eyes at the thought.
Though I did as he wished, I was more reluctant to wrap my arms around him as he so-often (okay, always) did to me. I wasn't much of a touch person. I liked my space and physical contact sometimes upsets me.
Though Hashirama knew the reason but couldn't understand how I could possibly feel because of my reason, he always respected my need for less contact at times.
"Baby…" Hashirama whispered, placing a kiss on my temple. "I love you so much. I am so sorry about Izuna-kun, though. You will be lonely in that big house now, will you not?"
I nodded sadly, nuzzling in closer to Hashirama. I needed the contact to know that I had someone there to help me through this difficult time.
"I know we have been together a long time now and have gone through hard times together, but maybe we could move in together?"
I looked up to meet Hashirama's eyes. The prospect of moving in together had never arisen before. But… now that Izuna was gone, I would be lonely. Izuna was the world to me, and now he was gone…
"…" I thought it over. "…"
"We don't have to," Hashirama said softly, stroking my sweaty black bangs off my face. "We can wait longer, if you would like."
I shook my head. "…No… I would love to move in with you… But without your brother."
Hashirama chuckled. "Okay, Madara. We will see what we can do, okay? I love you."
"…I love you, too," I whispered. Sometimes, saying those words took so much effort.
Hashirama smiled and kissed me again, and soon enough, before we knew it, another round had begun.
A/N This was a spur of the moment kind of thing, lol. Is it good? I kinda failed at the lemon, but I like the fluff. Besides, this is only my second first person kind of thing.