One Night on a Beach

By: Light-Eco-Sage

Rated: Mature for Arty/Holly romance and Lemon

Summary: Sequel to I Don't Like Lollipops. Two-Shot. It was the last place that Holly had expected to find Artemis: sunbathing on a tropical beach. And, yet, there he was…

Disclaimer: Artemis Fowl is owned by Eoin Colfer. As I said before, if I did own Artemis Fowl, the series would end with Arty and Holly getting together.

LES: This story got a little... ehm... out of control. It was supposed to be only a one-shot... but once I got up to 20 pages with still more things to come, I knew I had to make a second chapter epilogue. This first chapter is massive, while the epilogue is shorter. Just fair warning, this first chapter does contain a (removed) Lemon. (If you want to read the lemon, read down to the point when it says the Lemon was removed. Then head to my profile and follow the link to all of my smut stories on Tumblr.) There is the potential for our dear, young Arty to be OOC in this story. That is because this story takes place after The Atlantis Complex and Artemis is now cured. That means that Orion has been integrated back into his personality, so Artemis now has some of Orion's traits. The Artemis created by this integration is neither cold logic nor run-away emotions. He is the balance between the two. In a way, this is the adult Artemis… intelligent and emotionally mature.


Holly sighed in annoyance. Really? Did that Mud Man really have to make it so difficult for her to visit him to wish him a happy birthday? Well… a late happy birthday, but still…

It had been over a year since Artemis had turned fifteen and began to show signs of having developed a fairy mental illness known as Atlantis Complex. The year following that had been one that was literally filled with insanity as Artemis Fowl was forced to fight against his own powerful mind. There had been times when they both feared that he would not be able to shake off the bonds of the Complex or even result in damage to his body. (Those were frightening times.)

But then, Doctor Argon made what he called 'a massive break-through', which Holly really think meant that Artemis remembered his psych training and was able to cooperate with Argon to get better. It took a few more months of work, but Artemis was slowly able to integrate his split personality, and his Obsessive Compulsive behavior slowly disappeared.

"I had no choice, have I?" Artemis had said jokingly when Holly had noted his rather swift recovery. "Being obsessed with fives and fours was all well and good when my age was fifteen: a multiple of five. But if I turned sixteen: a multiple of four, before I got rid of my terror of the number, I probably would have done something foolish and drastic."

No one came out and said it, but they knew… the Artemis that was within the grips of the Atlantis Complex would have sooner committed suicide rather than have his age be a multiple of four.

So he had been given a clean bill of health shortly before his sixteenth birthday and returned home to his family in Fowl Manor. Angeline Fowl, his mother, was well aware of where Artemis had been for the past year, but said nothing of it. His father, Artemis Fowl Sr., merely thought that Artemis had gone away to a Zen retreat for his mental health after a nervous breakdown. Well… no one had told him that his son had a nervous breakdown, but it was something that he assumed and no one bothered to correct him.

So Artemis had a quiet month or two at home before things exploded again. Thankfully, it was nothing near as stressful as having to save the world again. It was a bit of an unspoken tradition that when a Fowl reached the age of sixteen, they were given their inheritance: a gift of money that was meant to be a seed to start whatever business they desired. It was a this time that Artemis had moved his finances out into the open, giving his parents the shock of their lives when they realized that the money they had given their son was hardly necessary.

A side effect of this was that since Artemis would soon be old enough to marry by Irish law, he had suddenly become a lot more interesting to young European debutantes. Hardly a day went by without some young heiress and her family scoping out the eldest Fowl boy as marriage material. His parents were not helping matters: forcing him to come along with them to endless upper class parties and being forced to socialize and (heaven forbid) even dance with the perspective Bride-of-the-Week.

But what Artemis' family didn't know was that Artemis was all ready deeply in love with someone else. And that someone happened to be taking a long flight from Fowl Manor to some small island in the Caribbean. Holly had arrived at Fowl Manor earlier that day, only to be met with Angeline Fowl, who told her that Artemis had left for a trip to the Caribbean several days ago. Angeline had given her the coordinates to the place where Artemis was going, leaving Holly to take a long journey.

It took the whole rest of the day, but Holly gave one last look at the coordinates that were plugged into her computer and matched it to the small island that she hovered over. It was a fair-sized island, but not large enough to hold a great deal of people. In fact, there was only one house on the island, set on the only part of the island that wasn't composed of beach. The final check confirmed it for her: this was the island that Artemis' mother was talking about.

She made sure that she was still shielded; she descended, keeping a sharp eye for any danger on the island. She saw Butler on the porch of the house, gazing down at the beach. His gaze was intense and focused, and Holly had seen that look before in him and other bodyguards. He was behaving just like other bodyguards were when their employer asked for some privacy… standing at a distance, but still within eye-sight.

Holly followed the line of Butler's sight and what she saw almost caused her to fall out of the sky in shock, only briefly losing control of the neurolink that controlled her wings.

If you had asked Holly where was the last place in the world she expected to find Artemis Fowl just a few seconds ago, that answer would have been 'sunbathing on a tropic island'. And yet, there he was: stretched out on a beach chair, soaking in the last rays of the setting sun. He was also dressed down much further than she had ever seen him: even more then the track suit that he had been forced to wear on their trip to the past. He wore nothing except a pair of shorts and, Holly had to admit to herself with a blush, the overall effect was rather pleasant.

She descended further until she was hovering right next to him, but he didn't seem to notice her approach. In fact, he seemed to be dozing lightly. Unable to resist any longer, she poked him rather hard in his ribs, causing the boy to start badly.

"Who are you, and what have you done with Artemis Fowl?" Holly questioned.

"Holly?" Artemis asked, still recovering from the shot of adrenaline that had flooded his body upon being surprised from his rest.

"Who else would it be?" Holly asked, still shielded.

"Well, as long as you are not some sort of assassin, why don't you drop the shield and say hello properly?" Artemis asked, sitting up and wincing slightly from laying still for so long.

"Sorry, but I can't do that." Holly said. "If I know one thing about beaches, it's that they don't stay private for long. I can't risk the exposure of my People."

"Then allow me to put your fears to rest." Artemis said. "Not only is this beach completely private, but this island is private property; owned by a young Irishman by the name of Artemis Fowl the Second. Butler and I are the only humans here. I can't really do anything to keep boats out of the surrounding ocean, but is there anything suspicious about young teen and a child on a beach?"

Holly shook her head in amazement. "You bought a whole island?"

"Indeed." Artemis said. "It was quite liberating. Never in my life had a bought something just for the sake of buying something. I just considered it a sixteenth birthday gift to myself."

Holly dropped her shield, her fears put to rest by the young Irishman. As she settled into the visible spectrum, she sighed. "Only Artemis Fowl would consider buying a whole island a splurge."

"To each their own." Artemis said with a shrug, smiling as Holly fell into his arms and they shared a brief, but passionate kiss. It had been altogether too long since their last real kiss: first with the Atlantis Complex making him unsure if he trusted Holly, let alone loved her most days, and then with his busy time recovering at home.

Holly suddenly pulled away, remembering that Butler had been not far away, watching Artemis' every move as always. With the exception of Artemis' alter ego almost blowing their romance into the open, they had gone through great lengths to keep their relationship a secret. Now, however, if Butler had any doubts that his young charge and Holly were more than just friends, those had now been blown out of the water. She glanced around at the stoic bodyguard. To Butler's eternal credit, he didn't seem to react to the sight of Artemis and Holly kissing at all.

Artemis followed her gaze over to where Butler stood. "I think that he's known about us for a while now." Artemis confessed. "Hiding things from Butler is like trying to hide things from your own shadow."

"And he's… okay with us?" Holly asked.

Artemis paused thoughtfully. "Well… I haven't spoken with him on the matter. But I'd imagine that he's naturally concerned about the fact that we are two different species, and that we see each other so infrequently. But he does know how much I care about you."

"Okay, so now that we've got that out of the way, you have one more thing to explain… just what are you doing here ruining your vampire complexion? Is that a tan I see?" She said, poking his chest.

Artemis winced. "That's not a tan, I'm afraid. That's a slight burn. The Irish are not known for their ability to tan."

"Poor Mud Boy." Holly said soothingly, placing her hand flat on his chest and allowing a few sparks of her magic to repair the burn damage to his skin.

Artemis sighed in relief. "Thanks, Holly." She whispered. "As for what I'm doing here? Mother is concerned that if I don't take frequent 'mental health' vacations, I'll have a relapse. At first I complained, but now I find that I'm quite enjoying it. At least I don't have to spend every waking moment of my life fending off whatever new girl my mother wants me to marry."

"Yes, I'd heard that you were getting quite busy on the marriage front." Holly joked.

"It's a nightmare, Holly." Artemis said. "Even if I didn't already love you, it would still be a nightmare. Did you know that I was recently named one of the most interesting people of the year, was named by Forbes' as the richest minor in the world, and now gained the title of Ireland's Most Eligible in this year alone? I can't step outside the Manor without being swamped by reporters and paparazzi! Paparazzi!" Artemis repeated, apparently horrified at the thought. "Not to mention the incessant flirting of every girl I meet…" He let out a long-suffering sigh. "Thank God I still have boorishness left to drive away most of the girls."

"So, all-in-all, it wasn't a happy birthday?" Holly asked.

"Oh, it was fine… until Minerva showed up and Mother began to not-so-subtly push us together." Artemis said.

"Minerva, huh?" Holly asked, honestly doing her best to keep the jealousy out of her voice. She knew as well as anyone that Minerva had a mighty crush on Artemis Fowl, placing the Irish boy on a pedestal and building him up into this romantic demigod during his three-year absence. "How'd you get rid of her? She's not the type to be driven away by your average boorishness, not when you are practically Romeo in her eyes."

"Well…" Artemis began slowly. "She may be under the impression that I'm homosexual."

Holly stared at Artemis in shock. "And why would she be under that impression?"

"Well, I just happened to mention that I made a significant donation to the GSA." Artemis confessed. At the look of confusion on Holly's face, he clarified. "The Gay-Straight Alliance."

"Oh… and that means you're gay?" Holly asked.

"Normally, no." Artemis said. "But she seemed to take it that way. I confess... I did nothing to correct her views in the matter."

"So, what? You donated to this cause just so that it would seem like you are gay?" Holly asked.

"Well, partially." Artemis said. "But I mostly donated to it because it's for a good cause. They goals are to educate about alternative sexual lifestyles, and it's a cause that has recently become very important to me."

"You're not gay." Holly pointed out. Oh, boy, was he not gay!

"True." Artemis nodded. "But alternative sexual lifestyles also include the lesser-known zoosexuality: when one finds himself or herself attracted to members of another species. Humans look down on zoosexuality even more than homosexuality."

"Humans having sex with animals?" Holly gasped, shocked.

"To put it bluntly, yes." Artemis said shortly. "But, while I confess myself a zoosexual, my tastes are much more intelligent than the average barnyard animal that most zoosexuals are limited to."

Holly stared at Artemis in shock. She had never heard him be quite so forward before. Not to mention that he was talking frankly about sex without blushing. Was it only a few years ago that she found him blushing profusely after getting the Birds and the Bees talk from a couple of squirrels?

"How sure are you that Orion has been integrated into your personality rather than just him taking over?" Holly asked.

"Completely sure." Artemis said. "Of course, Orion is still here in some ways. Integration does not mean that Orion's personality was destroyed. His traits were merely incorporated into my own personality. It's actually quite freeing. There are a number of things that Orion was well-versed in where my own understanding was… lacking." Artemis turned to face her, his lips a mere inch from hers. "Would you care for me to demonstrate?"

Holly was breathless. The look that he was giving her at the moment was purely animal, pure lust and want. Her stomach clenched and she could barely stop herself from moaning as his hot breath fanned against her lips. "Show me." She whispered.

"As you wish." Artemis replied softly. Suddenly, before Holly knew what was going on, Artemis grabbed her wrist, twisting it tightly behind her back. Holly's fevered brain recognized the move instantly as a martial arts hold. The hold itself caused no pain, but it would if she struggled or tried to move. Knowing that he had her completely caught, she did not fight against his grip at all.

Holly cried out in shock. She honestly couldn't believe that Artemis had managed to trick her like that… not to mention that he had perfectly pulled off a martial arts hold. He was right… Orion had taught him a few things.

Artemis only held her long enough for her to realize that she had been trapped, and then he let her go. Holly rolled her shoulder as she stared at his smug face. "You caught me by surprise."

"Naturally." Artemis shrugged. "Orion may have given me the knowledge that he gleaned from Butler, but you and I both know that I will never be able to compete against you physically. Physical fitness is not my forte, and it never will be."

Holly smiled softly at him. "Oh, Arty, you'd be in so much trouble right now if I didn't care so deeply for you." They embraced and kissed.

Artemis was just in the process of hoisting her up against him when they were interrupted by someone clearing their throat. Both knew at once that it was Butler.

"Forgive my interruption, Artemis, but it's starting to get dark. Perhaps you should come inside before you catch cold."

Holly pulled away from Artemis, smiling at the massive bodyguard. "Good evening to you to, Butler."

"The pleasure is mine, Captain." Butler said, and then an uncharacteristic grin spread on his face. "Or perhaps the pleasure is Artemis'." Artemis had the good grace to at least advert his eyes in pretend embarrassment.

"Thank you, Butler. I hadn't even noticed that the sun had gone down." Artemis said, standing up and stretching. "Holly, please accompany me inside. I have a gift for you." Without waiting to see if the elf followed, he began to make his way to the beach house.

Holly glanced at Butler in confusion. "I think you'll want to go and accept it." Butler said. "I know what he's going to give you, and he's putting a great deal of himself on the line for you."

Trusting her friend, Holly followed Artemis up to the beach house, and stepped inside. Even if the magical geis were still in effect, Artemis had invited her inside, so there was no problem. Artemis was inside, and he grabbed a manila envelope from on top of the fireplace mantel.

"Turning sixteen for a Fowl is a time to think about the future." Artemis said, turning to face her. "But my future is a bit more complicated than most Fowls. I am the first human in the world to have his heart in both worlds." He met Holly's eyes. "I'm talking about my last Will and Testament."

"Your Will?" Holly gasped. "Artemis, you are only sixteen years old! You have decades ahead of you!"

"That's everything that I could hope for." Artemis said. "But when you are as wealthy as I am, you have to plan for these things well in advance. If I could, I would naturally leave my fortune to the woman that I love… to you. But no human lawyer would give a fortune such as mine to a woman who does not even exist. So, I was forced to will my fortune back into the Fowl estate upon the untimely event of my death. Frankly, I need to have my fortune here, in my world, if I am to pursue my life's calling."

"And what is your life's calling?" Holly asked. Artemis Fowl was a rare individual in any world. He was skilled in any field that he attempted. Holly could think of, literally, dozens of careers for him, based only on the knowledge of his current education.

Artemis gave her a firm look. "The Project."

"The nano-wafers?" Holly clarified.

"In part." Artemis said. "I may have been in the grips of the Atlantis Complex when I started the project, but that does not change the fact that something needs to be done. It's not just The Project, it's The Project. My people have been murdering this planet for far too long. I intend to dedicate my life to saving this world… literally."

Holly could not help the small tears that leaked from her eyes. She wiped them away and gave Artemis a bright smile. "If there is any human in the world that can do all that, it is you, Artemis Fowl."

"So, back to my Will…" Artemis said. "I imagine that the money will end up going to Myles and Beckett, but we can hope that it is years off. However, I do not intend to just leave you to fend for yourself upon my death. Providing a source of income is the least that I could do." With that, he handed Holly the envelope.

Holly took it and opened it, pulling out a sheaf of papers. She quickly glanced over the contents, surprised to see that the documents were in hand-written Gnommish, obviously written with Artemis' own steady hand. However, that was nothing compared to when she understood the contents of the papers.

Artemis correctly read the look on her face. "You are holding the royalties for a book that has yet to be written. I intend to do this over the next few decades, adding on little by little, until the book can be published for the Fairy People."

"Artemis Fowl: An Autobiography." Holly read the title of the unwritten book.

"I'm sure that a first-hand account of my life will be something that the People will be highly interested in. It is not a book that I intend to write for my own people. They will just have to settle for an ordinary biography. My life has been tied too deeply to the Fairy People for me to write about my life to the human masses without exposing your race." Artemis said. "The profits will go entirely to you. That should be enough to ensure that you are comfortable for the rest of your life."

Holly sighed, shaking her head, but also smiling. "I don't know if this is the sweetest or most depressing gift I have ever received."

"How about the sweetest?" Artemis asked, kneeling down so they were more level.

Holly glared at him. "Are you going to propose to me now, Fowl?"

Artemis stared in shock at this unintentional down-on-one-knee stance. "No, Holly. I doubt that I ever could. Human marriage ceremonies will not allow me to marry a mythical creature, and I doubt the People will allow you to marry a human. Because of this, I already consider us married."

"Frond, Mr. Fowl, you are being awfully forward!" Holly gasped, for a moment perfectly imitating a debutante.

"Forgive me, Miss Short, but you always struck me as a woman who didn't beat around the bush." Artemis said.

"You're right… again." Holly agreed. "I'm not that sort of woman." And then she kissed him. Artemis eagerly responded, threading his fingers into her short hair, which was not quite as short as her usual crew cut. Holly moaned into his mouth, wrapping her arms around his neck. She had been completely overcome by the 'Artemis factor', that hold that he had over her that went far beyond any known magic.

"I love you, Holly." Artemis whispered briefly during a small break between their kisses.

Oh… so that's what that is. Holly realized. He had not mesmerized her, nor was she under thrall… his hold on her was much more glorious than that: love. "I love you too, Arty."

They kissed again, tongues eagerly exploring both mouth and any exposed skin. When Artemis began to push the zipper on the front of her suit down a few inches to gain access to more skin, Holly gasped. "Artemis…" She whispered, drawing the human genius' attention up to her.

"What is it, Holly?" Artemis asked, and then seemed to register her exposed cleavage as the haze in his mind lifted. "Oh! I didn't mean to…" He began, beginning to zip her suit up again.

But Holly's hand stopped him. "I wasn't going to stop you, Artemis. I was just going to say that if we're going to do this, we're going to need somewhere a bit more… private."

"Pri…?" Artemis gasped, staring at her. A split second later, his intelligent mind supplied him with the meaning of Holly's words. "Oh, uh… sure. Right this way…" He stood and began to lead her down the hallway, presumably to his room.

'Uh'? Did I just get Artemis to say 'uh'? Holly thought to herself. He must be unspeakably nervous. Though she knew that she couldn't blame him. It had been several decades since her first experience with sex, and she vividly remembered spending the first part of the night hiding in her closet, nervous to the point of almost being sick. Even geniuses were prone to nerves when faced with the possible loss of their virginity.

Even they stepped into the room, Artemis avoided all eye contact with her and moved over to the bed, uselessly arranging and rearranging the pillows. Holly was reminded of his Obsessive-Compulsive behavior when he was in the grips of the Atlantis Complex. But Holly knew that this was no relapse. The Atlantis Complex was triggered by guilt, not nerves. This was simply Artemis being fidgety.

"Arty…" She called to him, hoping that the pet name would calm him down. It worked, somewhat. At least he had stopped rearranging his pillows. But he still had not met her eyes.

"Yes, Holly?" He spoke softly; it was almost as if he thought that if he spoke any louder it might frighten her off.

"It's okay to be nervous, you know." Holly said, moving over to him, placing a soft hand on his arm. "Everyone gets nervous before their first time. But if you pick up this as quickly as you pick up everything else, you'll master sex in no time."

"I know, Holly… I know that it's okay to be nervous." Artemis said. "I do what to do this with you, Holly… I really do. It's just hard to let go of the fear."

"Well, then we are in the same boat." Holly said, slipping onto his bed, turning over on her back, and staring up at him. "I'll tell you a secret… I'm a little scared myself right now."

"Scared?" Artemis repeated. He hadn't thought that the word 'scared' was in Holly's vocabulary. She got scared, Artemis knew, but she didn't let that fear get in the way of what she had to do. It was one of the many things that he admired about her. She did what she had to do, hang the consequences.

"Yes, Arty, scared." Holly said.

"But… you've been… intimate before. What could you possibly be scared of?" Artemis asked.

"Yes… I've had sex before… with elves." Holly said, and realization dawned on Artemis. "I never before in my life thought that I would be in a position where I'd want to have sex with a Mud Man… but here I am."

Artemis suddenly groaned and slapped his forehead. "Holly? How are we even going to do this? I'm nearly twice as tall as you are! Is it physically possible for us to even…?"

"In all of your research, you've never come across stories about humans with fairy lovers?" Holly asked.

Artemis paused mid-lecture. "Those are simply stories, aren't they?"

"No, they are not." Holly said. "Humans can't breed with all the different fairy species. There's never been a Dwarf-Human or Gnome-Human relationship. But there have been plenty of Elf-Human pairings in the past when fairies still lived above ground. There are even fairies with faint traces of human in them… and humans with traces of fairy in them."

"Truly?"

"Yes. Haven't you ever seen a hypnotist perform?" Holly asked. "It's a low-level version of the Mesmer that they use. Where do you think they got that power?"

"I'd never thought about it." Artemis admitted. "Forgive me, but I always believed that hypnotism was about as magical as a stage magician who pulls rabbits out of top hats for a living."

"If children have been born from Elf-Human pairings, then we can assume that this is possible." Holly said, gesturing for Artemis to climb on top of her. He quickly did so, allowing her to pull him into a kiss. "You just have to be gentle."

"I promise." Artemis swore. "I never want to hurt you again."

"But you will, Artemis." Holly said. "Life is about pain and pleasure. You can't have one without the other, and I will accept it to be with you."

"Holly…" Artemis moaned, kissing her and holding her close to himself so that he could continue to kiss her.

Holly had to admit to herself that the fit of their bodies was awkward due to the size difference between the two lovers. That obviously meant that they wouldn't be doing this the 'normal' missionary way. "Arty…" She whispered. "I think that I should be on top. It might work out better that way."

Artemis met her eyes and nodded wordlessly. He gathered her into his arms and rolled until Holly was straddling his stomach while Artemis lay on his back underneath her.

Holly sat up, and began to pull her zipper down until her cleavage and navel was exposed, while there was little more that Artemis could do besides stare and stop himself from drooling in a most undignified manner.

"Artemis, your shorts." She said pointedly.

Artemis was about to point out her incomplete sentence, but quickly swallowed the lecture. Even he knew that lecturing his potential lover about her grammar during foreplay was not the best way for him to 'get laid', as it were…


(Lemon Removed. Follow the link in my profile for the Lemon)


For the longest moment, they simply held onto each other, wordlessly bathing in the afterglow of their lovemaking. Holly was the first to pull away, meeting her Artemis' eyes. She smiled and reached up to wipe some of his damp hair out of his face.

"I love you." Holly whispered.

"I love you too…" Artemis replied, kissing her. "For as long as I live."


Artemis Fowl in Forbes: You think I'm lying, don't you. Actually, it's true! Forbes magazine released their 'Richest Fictional Characters' list and Artemis Fowl was listed as Number 3. He is the richest fictional minor because his wealth surpasses Richie Rich. Artemis is listed as being worth $13.5 billion from theft, forgery, and Facebook. Yep, you read that right. Facebook. Apparently our favorite boy genius invented Facebook under the alias "Mark Zuckerberg". (Remove spaces for the Link) www .forbes lists/ fictional15/ 2011/ profile/ artemis-fowl-ii. html


So… 20 pages (About 6,600 words) for just this part! Believe it or not, there is more. But, seeing as this thing was turning out so massive, I decided to make everything that came after this bit an epilogue and make it a second chapter. This monster really could have survived as a three-chapter story, but I didn't see any way to break it that I liked. So… epilogue next!