Title: Depression

Category: Anime/Manga Durarara!

Author: Thieving-Thief

Language: English Rating:

Genre: Hurt/Comfort/Romance


A/N: This didn't turn out as well as I wanted it to BUT it's a fanfic and it satisfies the requirement of being a fill on my Alphabet challenge….wish me luck…I have a long way to go….

"You stay the hell away from him from now on, you hear me? If I ever catch you near him I will kill you." Shizuo pointed an accusing finger at Kida wile Izaya stood in front of him blocking his path to the young blonde he was yelling at him but Shizuo just talked over him. "Stay the fuck away…" Shizuo scowled and threw a sign he had picked up somewhere off to the side. Izaya stared after him looking pissed off and then turned to Kida. The blonde was in the entrance to an alleyway he was on the ground curled into a ball. He had tears streaming down his face and he was making chocking sobbing sounds as Izaya got closer. The informant knelt down beside the blonde and pulled him into a hug.

"I'm so sorry Kida….I didn't know he would react that way….I'm so sorry." Izaya held Kida close as the young man sobbed heavily into his chest and he struggled to think of what he would do now. He had to choose between Shizuo and Kida and it wasn't going to be easy on any of them. As Izaya silently debated what to do in his head Kida calmed himself down enough to talk.

"Izaya," his voice was a little hoarse "go ahead and break up with me….I know you have to go with Shizuo…you can go…I won't blame you." Kida said breathing deeply trying to calm his quickly beating heart.

"Kida…."Izaya took a deep breath and pulled Kida up into his lap. "I love you Kida, really I do, I don't want to leave you."

"But you have to…Izaya….you have to, go with Shizuo…go please….." Kida was close to breaking out into tears again.

"Kida, I can't just leave you…"

"Yes you can, go now before I leave you myself. You have to go and you have to go before I can't tell you that you have to anymore." Kida's voice shook and a few tears fell.

"Kida, I love you…" Izaya whispered "I'll call you later alright."

"No, don't call just….stop it all….please….it'll be easier."

"Alright," Izaya gently kissed him all of his feeling pouring into that one gentle brush of lips before walking away.

Kida sat there in the alleyway for god only knew how long. When he finally drove himself to stand his legs were numb whether it was from the way he was sitting or the cold he couldn't tell. He stumbled his way back to his apartment and laid there on the floor in silence until he drifted into the blackness of sleep. The next morning Mikado came over…or was it the afternoon…Kida couldn't tell. Mikado asked him a bunch of questions that Kida didn't even acknowledge. Mikado left eventually but Kida barely even noted he was there. Kida didn't know how long it was or even what was going on but somehow he ended up in the hospital. His wrists were slit…he didn't even remember that.

Mikado was sleeping by the bed in a chair Kida noted that his friend looked really worn out. He looked around to the other side and found Anri sitting at a small table reading a book. "Oh, you're awake." Anri smiled softly "I'd wake Mikado but he just got to sleep and he hasn't been sleeping very much. How are you feeling?"

"Confused…" Kida managed to croak out he hadn't used his voice in a while. "What happened?"

"Well, um….I should probably let Mikado tell you everything…I don't know it all…" At that moment Mikado woke up. His eyes fluttered open at the sound of his name and he looked at Kida dazed for a second before realizing he was awake.

"Thank god," He jumped up and raced the two steps to the bed. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm…alright I guess…what happened?"

"You were stupid…" Mikado glared "you were so upset you weren't taking care of yourself. You got sick and one day when I came to check on you, you had cut your writs open and you were bleeding everywhere….i called an ambulance…you've been out for about two days since…"

Kida leaned back against his pillows and looked at his writs carefully. The cuts were pretty deep… "They're going to make you go through a psycho analysis…because you did this to yourself…" Mikado said softly "I still can't believe you were that stupid over a stupid breakup."

"It wasn't a stupid breakup….I still love him but he can't be with me…it hurts….constantly."

"Kida…" Mikado sighed "I'm gonna go now…I know you're okay…you can call me after you've gone through your Psych tests and get released alright." Mikado gathered his stuff together and walked to the door. "I'll see you later Masaomi." Mikado walked out and soon after Anri bid him goodbye saying she would visit tomorrow. Kida lay there alone in his bed until the doctors came in to talk with him about his psychological evaluation.

A week later Kida was out of the hospital he had therapy now twice a month and he was getting better…for the most part. He still thought about Izaya constantly and Shizuo too on occasion but he no longer wanted to kill himself over it. Luckily it was summer now, school was over so he didn't have to deal with questions from his classmates. Kida plopped down on his couch and turned on the television looking for something mind numbing so maybe he could get some sleep. About five minutes in to a program about mummies there was a knock on his door.

"come on in," kida muttered not even caring who it was.

"Hey, kid…we need to talk…." Kida sat up quickly at the voice he heard and turned to see none other than the blonde man dressed as a bartender, Shizuo Heiwajima.

"What do you want from me?" Kida asked warily.

"I just want to talk," Shizuo said taking off his sunglasses. "I heard about what happened to you after I made Izaya dump you."

"Yeah, what of it?" Kida said trying to keep his voice steady

"I wanted to talk with you about that…I know you love him…more than anything….but I do too…and it hard to accept that someone else could love him as much as I do but….after everything I can see that you do….So I'm proposing something….If you agree to still attend therapy like you're supposed to…and you agree not to fight with me over who gets him when and stuff….I'll let you join me in dating Izaya…." Kida stared at him blankly for a few minutes before finally comprehending what the blonde had said…

"You mean….i could see Izaya again…?"

"Yes….and kiss him and everything…he hasn't been the same without you around either.."

Kida felt tears drip down his face as he ran to Shizuo enveloping him in a hug. "Thank you so much Shizuo. Thank you…" Kida clung to the blonde as he cried for a few minutes before finally letting go.

"Come on; let's go tell Izaya the good news." Shizuo said walking to the door "you coming?" Kida grinned widely and nodded before racing over to the door and leaving with Shizuo to go find Izaya.

They found him at his office his feet propped up on the desk with glasses on his face asleep. Shizuo walked across the room leaving Kida by the door and woke him softly. It was odd seeing them like that. So sweet to each other in a way that is only seen by those they both truly trust.

"Izaya, wake up I have a surprise for you…" Shizuo smiled softly as Izaya opened his eyes and looked blurrily at him.

"What….?" Izaya sat up quietly looking at Shizuo oddly

"Look over by the door…" Shizuo stood and moved behind Izaya's chair. Izaya looked and saw Kida standing there innocently. A small smile played across his face.

"What have you done now Shizu-chan?" Izaya said softly.

"You missed him…you've been moping around since the day I made you leave him….I've had a change of heart."

Izaya stood and walked over to where Kida was standing by the door. His face looked drawn now…Kida looked a lot older than he was. Izaya stood there watching the young blonde for a few minutes. Finally he took a couple steps towards Kida and reached out to pull the blonde into a hug. Kida walked into it and let Izaya hold him for the first time in what felt like years even though it had only been a few months. Kida buried himself into Izaya's shoulder letting himself cling to him. Izaya held Kida close and looked back at Shizuo who stood by the window smoking a cigarette.

"Thank you, Shizu-chan…." He muttered softly "thank you so much."

"You're welcome Izaya….i had to do it….because I love you…and kida isn't really that bad…."