Disclaimer: Stephanie owns Twilight, I just own a copy ;)
This O/S seriously came out of nowhere and I just kept on typing. I wanted to get this out before I lost my nerve, so sorry to say that this is unbeta'd. All mistakes are definitely mine.
The hurt in her eyes as he talked down to her, demeaning in his stature and slicing her with his words. The love she allowed from him, as she thought no one could love her like he did was a jumbled confused mess of ignorance on her part.
Love? No, dominance is what he craved. In a world where fickle young minds are transformed by a handsome face and alluring words, he was able to capture her attention and eventually her heart. A heart that was once so bright and pure that it radiated off the young beauty in front of him. Instead of allowing that light to grow and spread out, he harnessed it for his own selfish desires.
The weak and trembling girl in front of him had an inkling to truly believe that this was love. Love, that she believed was all about submitting, even if she was hurt in the process. She believed that even the baddest love was still better than having no love at all.
He looked at her face, broken and pathetic, and still had the nerve to walk away. Walked away from the one girl that would've gave him everything, the one girl that brought him an ounce of happiness. And why? Because Edward Cullen doesn't let girls get too close. Edward Cullen leaves before things get messy. Yet, messy is exactly where things left off.
"I don't want you anymore" Edward told a crying Bella. Her heart shattered into a million pieces. The pieces shattered into a million more, until there was nothing left but dust. I don't want you anymore. Those words would forever haunt her as she looked out her window, not looking for a sign, not looking for hope, not looking for… anything.
She used the weekend to try and get over the boy. The boy who she gave everything to. He was her first kiss, her first experience, her first love. Funny that he'd also turn out to be her first heartbreak.
Bella had half a mind to ask her father, Charlie, to excuse her from school since she didn't want to face a room full of pity and the lack of attention from the beautiful boy she no longer could have.
"You're a fucking idiot! How could you do this to her, Edward?" Alice shrieked at him. For being his twin, she sure couldn't comprehend the twin vibe of leaving him the fuck alone. I am an idiot. He thought to himself. He knew he wanted her. Hell, he might have even loved her. But, no, love wasn't an option for him. He wasn't the "love and relationship" kind of guy, so he did what he always did best – he left.
"Not right now, Alice" Edward seethed with a clenched jaw. There might've been a slight growl that escaped from his lips.
"I don't give a shit what YOU want, Edward! You hurt her… you hurt her so bad." He almost didn't hear Alice's last words, as they came out a bit of a whisper.
"I know," he replied and walked away.
Walking away, he was good at that.
Bella took her first step onto the wet concrete of the school's parking lot. Her first step was an important step since this was the first step in 3 months she hadn't been with Edward. Add that along to her list of firsts. A slow smirk descended upon her lips. I can do this, I WILL do this. She inwardly chanted to herself.
She let him break her once, but she refused to allow him to break her again. Though she was a shell of her former self, she also developed a tougher exterior. No more Edward, no more Drama… as far as she was concerned, she was done.
Her first 3 classes went off without any major awkwardness. She had a few stares and looked up to curious eyes, but she refused to answer to the call of what others wanted to know. If they wanted to find out what happened, they could ask Edward himself. Bella was done with the dramatics, she'd rather leave that shit on the stage in a story that didn't translate to her life.
During lunch, she decided to stay away from the Cullen table. She refused to even look in his direction, even though she could feel his eyes burning a whole through the back of her head. She sat with those of her former life – Jessica Stanley, Angela Webber, Mike Newton and Eric Yorkie. These were her first friends when she first moved to Forks from Phoenix. This is where she belonged. She looked around at the non-judgmental faces and finally started to relax.
They didn't say much during that time, just small talk here and there. No one felt the need to pry into the curly haired girl with the brown eyes' life. If Bella wanted to talk, she would. They all knew this and at that particular moment in time, she was grateful to have friends like that around her.
Biology was a different story. This is where they met, this is where they looked into each other's eyes for the first time without ever saying a word. She noticed that his eyes turned from topaz to the darkest brown depending on the mood he was in. This is where he noticed that her hair smelled of strawberries and her smooth skin was that of alabaster.
But today, Biology lost its meaning. Today, Biology was a class where she was forced to sit next to him because they had to finish the rest of the school year as partners. Could she do it? Could she sit next to him with the maturity level of someone twice her age? She'd just have to endure it.
While she took down her hair and let a curly curtain of brown locks flow in between them, he clenched his jaw. Why is she hiding from me? His brain was on overdrive. Ever since he left her, he thought of nothing but her. He was nothing short of irritated that she pretended as if he wasn't even in the room. I deserve that. He concluded. He did, after all, deserve the silent treatment of the beautiful girl sitting beside him.
Once the bell rang, she gathered her belongings quickly and practically raced out of the room. She found her solace in the iPod that was now booming through her ears. She needed the distraction. What she really needed was some Adele to help her drown him out.
Walking to her massive red truck, she didn't seem to notice a big blue van racing toward her. Inside the van was a boy she recognized from school, Tyler Crowley, gazing up at her with panic in his eyes as he began to lose control of the van. To say that her life flashed before her seemed so cliché, but in that moment her life did, in fact, flash before her. She did the one thing she could, she shut her eyes hoping that it would be over soon and she wouldn't feel too much pain.
She heard the crash and she was waiting for the pain to hit, but she couldn't feel a thing. Is this what death feels like?
"Bella! Baby, please open your eyes. Are you ok? Bella? I'm so fucking sorry, baby, I'm so sorry. Please just open your eyes!" A frantic voice kept yelling. He sounds so familiar she thought… he sounds like home.
Edward couldn't react fast enough when he saw the van coming toward her. She didn't know he was watching her, but he watched her every step. When she bolted out the room, he followed close behind but far enough where she wouldn't notice. But, when he saw the van coming toward her, he ran. Ran faster than he did on the field, faster than he did at any damn practice… he just ran.
Once his body collided with hers, he did a silent prayer thanking God that he got to her in time. She didn't come out unscratched, as Edward had to knock her down in order to get her out the way. Two more seconds and she would've been gone. The very thought of her not being around scared the living crap out of him.
There she was, lying on the floor with a slight concussion. As Edward continued to yell at her, her eyes began to flutter open. When they finally did, her brown sought out his green. They locked eyes, but had yet to speak another word.
A few seconds passed before she finally spoke, "Edward? What happened?"
He stared so deeply in her eyes, she felt as if he was touching her soul.
"You're ok. You're ok. Thank God, you had no idea Bella. No idea. I had no idea how much I really…" He cut himself off, afraid that he may be revealing too much to the girl that held so much power over him.
"How much you what?" She cut off his gaze and looked down, trying to stop the tears before they escaped from the ducts of her eyes. Don't cry, Bella. Don't you let him see you cry.
"How much I –" again he was cut off by Chief Charlie Swan running to his daughter's side.
"Bells? Are you alright?" The anxious father examined his daughter.
"I'm fine, dad. I think I just hit my dead really hard on the concrete. Other than that, I'm pretty sure I'm good." She replied, trying to simultaneously shrug off her shock & keep in the feeling of totally falling apart.
Charlie knew his daughter better than she realized and proceeded to get an ambulance to take her to the hospital. Edward argued that he was coming. And as usual, Edward always got his way.
After being examined by the nicer, blonder and possibly more handsome Dr. Carlisle Cullen, Bella was finally released.
"Thanks for looking after her dad" Edward appreciatively spoke to the elder Cullen.
"Of course, son. Bella, you take care of yourself now." The good Doctor replied.
The two of them walked back to where Charlie was sitting. Charlie took one look at his only daughter and gave her the biggest hug he could possibly muster.
"I love you, Bells. I'm so glad you're ok. You really have no idea." Charlie said taken back by how much emotion was emanating through him. He then turned and gave Edward a stiff handshake, "Thank you, son. I wouldn't have my daughter if it weren't for you."
Edward nodded at the Chief and asked if he could bring Bella home. The Chief agreed, as he had to get back to the station to work on another case.
The car ride back home was silent and filled with tension. Thoughts consumed Edward's brain and Bella decided to shut down and look out the passenger side window.
"I'm sorry," Edward whispered.
She turned her head abruptly toward him. "Why?"
"I can't apologize enough for that night, Bella. I did what I did because I was scared. But, looking back on that now I realized what dumb shit move I pulled on you. I was scared because you were getting too close. I was scared to become dependent on you. I was scared I wasn't good enough for you. I was scared of losing you. So, I did the one thing that made sense in my head. I left. As selfish as it was, I fucking left." He rushed his words out hoping that she would understand the just of what he was trying to convey.
"And now?" She said with a glossiness in her eyes. "Now, you're sorry? Ok… what are you trying to say Edward?"
"I realized that me being scared and vulnerable is nothing compared to what I felt today seeing you almost disappear from my life completely. And even if you won't take me back… I just had to try. I had to tell you… I love you. I really love you. So much, it causes me to do stupid things like leave." He looked back up at her, expecting to see hate and disgust from her features. It's what he deserved. Instead, he saw the forgiving brown eyes he knew and loved.
"I love you too, Edward. Always have, always will."
They both knew that there was more to fix, but with a silent agreement they were willing to try.
AN: Thanks for taking the time to read. Review or not, I'm just happy that anyone would read this at all.