Gremlins 3: Attack of the Nerds (SPN/TBBT)

Author: Tari_roo

Rating: PG

Fandom: SPN/TBBT

Disclaimer: I own nothing, I profit from nothing.

Summary: for Auntmo's prompt on the ficlet meme: Dean flirting with Penny. So, I threw in Sheldon and Sam too (not flirting! sheesh)

Warning: None.

There was someone (plural) at their table. Sheldon was not amused.

"Oh, go sit somewhere else, Shelly. Its not like its 'your table'!"

Penny bustled past in faux efficiency and Sheldon shot her a smarting look, and a snappy rejoinder, "Oh, really? Then how exactly does one 'reserve' a table at this establishment, or is that too 'foreign' a concept?"

Leonard buried his face in his hands and sighed. Penny though hurried back past them and smirked, "You didn't make a reservation, Sheldon. So shut up and sit down."

Sheldon pouted and scowled "It's implied by the fact that we come here every Wednesday and sit right there!" He pointed at the table, just in case Penny had forgotten which was possible with beings of lesser intelligence.

Penny came back ladened down the food trays and retorted, "It's not because it doesn't have your name on it, does it?"

Sheldon was about to reply that it was certainly did, when Leonard dragged him to an adjacent table, and grumbled, "Just sit down. Let's not test her food server oath today, ok?"

As usual, the fare, while homey and tasty, bordered on mediocre and Sheldon was making a comparison again of the benefit of Big Boy burgers to Cheesecake Factor burgers when Leonard's fidgeting finally got on his last nerve.

"Leonard, do you have piles?"

"What? No!"

"Lice, fleas, mysterious itch? Because if you do…" Sheldon was already preparing a detailed mental report for the CDC when Leonard snapped, "NO! Its, just …"

Looking up at the potential source of Leonard's distraction, Sheldon nodded wisely, "Yes, the sight of someone else sitting at our table is tiresome, but hardly worthy of your constant fidgeting."

Half turned, still watching the table in question, Leonard sighed, "No, it's not that, it's just… she's being all … flirty and coy and …"

Belatedly Sheldon looked up and surveyed the scene in its entirety. "Ah, Penny has locked on to another potential and might I add, more suitable suitor."

"You don't know that!" Leonard whined, and turned desperate eyes on Sheldon. Alas, Dr Sheldon Cooper was not one to mollycoddle the delusions of anyone, not even his best friend. "Leonard, the object of her attention is a near perfect specimen of the human male, near only because he lacks the intelligence to tie his own shoe lace."

"Huh? No!"

"Leonard, Leonard, Leonard, its blatantly obvious," Sheldon sighed, and pointed his fork at the subject in question. "Tall, broad shoulders, narrow waist, features out of a romance novel and what appears to be a dazzling repertoire of cheesy one liners… i.e. Penny's ideal mate."

As expected, Leonard had no come back to that, and slumped into a stunted growth, dairy intolerance induced depression. "But I was so close…."

Sheldon humphed and decided to let Leonard's ridiculous statement pass uncommented on. "Leonard, if she wasn't interested in that one, the taller, if that is possible and in all likelihood handsome, even if we can't see his face, companion would still be more attractive to her than you."

Leonard glared and shoved his pasta to one side. Sheldon returned to his comparison of burgers… which ultimately lead to trains, as did everything

*spn*tbbt*spn*tbbt*

Sam was going to kill him. And then bring him back and kill him again.

He took the stairs two at a time, long legs eating up the staircase. As Sam reached the right landing, sure enough, there was Dean pressed into a doorway, kissing the socks off the blond waitress. And probably her panties too.

"Dean!"

After another second or two of kissing, Dean broke off and shot his 'little' brother and yes, Sam could so see the inverted commas, a 'what the hell, dude?' look.

"Come on… we gotta…." Sam made 'go downstairs and deal with the problem' motions and Dean rolled his eyes. The waitress, Penny was giggling and running her hands over Dean's jacket, no doubt urging him to stay. Dean turned, gave her a killer grin and leant in for another kiss. Sam rolled his eyes and counted to ten.

By the time he reached fifteen, he had to step out of the way of three guys heading down the stairs. Each of them stared at the spectacle Dean was making, and one even grinned at him as they passed. The guy with glasses though seemed depressed and hurried down the stairs quickly, and Sam thought he recognised him from the restaurant.

"Dean!"

Finally, Dean broke off, another ridiculous grin plastered on his face and he purred, "I'll be right back, kay? Ten minutes, tops."

Penny the waitress giggled and watched them head down the stairs. The moment they were out of sight, Sam headslapped the back of Dean's head.

"What the hell, Sam?"

"We're on a damn case, Dean. You can make out with our witness later!"

Dean grumbled as they hurried down the stairs, "Sheesh, regular little party pooper aren't you."

Rolling his eyes for the second time in the space of minutes, Sam sighed, "Dean, come on. If this is a gremlin infestation, we gotta catch it now. You remember what the last one was like, in the abandoned warehouse."

Dean grimaced and shook off the memory, "Don't remind me. I ruined a good pair of jeans and boots in that mess. Fine – lets go. The damn elevator not working is plenty proof, right?"

"Yeah, the gremlins are definitely here. I found some little shit droppings too."

"TMI, dude."

Once at the ground floor, Sam checked that the front door was locked and tossed Dean his duffle. Shotguns loaded with a mixture of salt and sage would do the trick, and they both had rotten goat meat to lure the buggers out. "You sure they're in the laundry room?"

Sam nodded, "Yep. 100%"

Sam followed Dean down to the laundry room. They both shared a look, gripped the bags of meat tightly and took a moment. Dean checked his shotgun, colt and knife and said, "We should probably wait til later to do this, but come on, who does their laundry on a Saturday night."

Sam didn't bother answering, and stepped into the room, shotgun ready, meat poised to be flung.

*spn*tbbt*spn*tbbt*

Upstairs, hurriedly shaving her legs, Penny nearly cut herself when an ungodly shriek ripped through the air. Tossing the razor down, she sighed, "Hell, Sheldon, what now?"

Fin.