150 Things I'm Not Allowed to Do at Camp Green Lake

"Fuse?" X-Ray yelled as Brianna and Dani stepped out of the building in their orange jumpsuits.

"The one and only, X-Ray." Fuse (Dani) replied.

"You know him?" Brianna asked me.

"Yeah, I was here before, remember?" Fuse asked.

"Yo, you still got that list?" X-Ray asked, coming up to us.

"Totally." Fuse replied.

"What list?" Brianna asked.

"'150 Things I'm Not Allowed to Do at Camp Green Lake'." Fuse said, taking a piece of paper out of her pocket and opening it.

"Fuse?" 6 other voices yelled, running up to them. They were Zigzag, Squid, Zero, Caveman, Armpit, and Magnet.

"Zigzag!" Fuse said. Zigzag put one arm around Fuse's waist, pulled her close to him, and kissed her. Before Fuse was bailed out a month before, Zigzag and Fuse dated. They still were. A 7th guy walked up to them.

"Who's Fuse?" he asked.

"Fuse, this is Twitch." Zigzag said. Squid was staring at Brianna.

"Yo. Yo, Squid." Fuse said, snapping her fingers in front of his face.

"No way, you still got the list!" Squid said, taking the list.

"Hey, you guys finally brave enough to fulfill it?" Fuse asked. Everyone looked at each other.

"We're in." they all said in unison

Never speak of the list except with those involved

Easy, a kid from C tent came up to us as we talked about the list.

"Hey, what are you guys talking about…what's this list?" he asked, snatching it away from Squid.

"Uh, it's…" Fuse began.

"'150 I'm not allowed to…" Easy started.

BAM! Easy fell to the ground. Brianna stood behind Easy with a shovel.

"Juvenile, but effective!" she said. Some other campers stopped and stared at her.

"Who else wants a piece of this?" she yelled, spreading her arms.

Don't snoop in other people's crates

"What's this? Ooh, a yearbook!" Twitch said, poking through Fuse's crate.


This time, Fuse stood behind Twitch with Spark's (Brianna) shovel.

"Don't touch my stuff." Fuse said, returning the shovel to Spark.

Don't put dirt in someone else's hole

"Hey! Don't put dirt in my hole!" Zigzag yelled, scooping it up the dirt Squid threw into his hole with his shovel and threw it in Squid's face.

"Oh, I love my boyfriend!" Fuse said, leaning in her hole.

Never tattle

"Mr. Pendanski, Zigzag threw-"


No bringing lizards in as pets

"Guys, this is Jeffery the yellow-spotted lizard." Fuse said, walking into the tent.

"Oh my god!" Zigzag yelled. The lizard started hissing.

"AH!" Fuse yelled, dropping Jeffery. Spark ran in with her shovel and smashed it.


"Jeffery had a good life." Fuse started.

Never convince Twitch that there's "Hug Armpit Day"

"Twitch! Twitch!" Fuse yelled as her, Zigzag, Spark, and Squid ran behind Twitch. Twitch stopped and turned around.

"Dude, you're about to miss it!" Spark said.

"Miss what?" Twitch asked.

"Hug Armpit Day! Everyone in camp, excluding Mr. Sir, the counselors, and the Warden, has hugged Armpit." Zigzag said.

"Oh!" Twitch yelled, running. The four of them turned around and laughed. Zigzag put his arm around Fuse and they walked back to D tent. They heard a thump behind them.

No light saber fights with the shovels during lunch!

All Spark and Fuse heard behind them was light saber noises. They turned around. Zigzag and Squid were having a light saber fight with their shovels.

"Oh, geez." Spark said, face palming herself.

"As I said, I love my boyfriend!" Fuse said, laughing.

"Okay, ow, hurting!" Zigzag complained.

"Don't complain, Ziggy." Fuse yelled.

Don't give the guys makeovers while they sleep

"You ready?" Spark asked.

"Oh yeah." Fuse said as they raised the makeup they had in their hands. They walked slowly over to Squid.

Don't ask Mr. Sir for his first name

"Hey Mr. Sir," Spark and Fuse said in unison.

"What do you want, ladies?" he asked, popping a handful of sunflower seeds in his mouth.

"What's your first name?" Spark asked. Mr. Sir mumbled something.

"What? We didn't hear you." Fuse said.

"Marian!" he said.

"Gee, we didn't know that was a man's name!" Fuse said.

"It ain't!" Mr. Sir said, walking quickly away from the girls. As soon as he was out of earshot, the 2 girls burst out laughing.

Don't flirt with Squid's or Zigzag's girlfriend.

"Hey ladies." A voice said behind Fuse and Spark as they walked past a person slumped in a chair in the Wreck Room. They turned around in shock. The Lump winked at them.

"Are you flirting with us?" Fuse asked in astonishment.

"Maybe," The Lump said, winking again. Fuse handed Spark her shovel.

"You want to flirt with us again?" she asked with a voice that was warning him.

Don't take X-Ray's shovel

Twitch got in line to get the shovels at 4:30 AM before X-Ray did. He took X-Ray's shovel.

"Uh oh," Fuse said. (A/N: I'll let your imagination do the work. You decide what X-Ray does to Twitch)

Don't take X-Ray spot in line for the water truck

Twitch, being his stupid self, decided to repeat what he did that morning. He got in line for the water truck before X-Ray. X threw him back, and that continued until he was at the back of the line. Unfortunately (not really), the back of the line was at the edge of a hole.

"Whoa!" Twitch yelled, and then fell back into the hole.

Don't sneak up on the girls when they are listening to music

"And I was like,

Baby, baby, baby

Oh!" the girls sang. They turned around to see all 8 boys watching them with their mouths hanging open.

"Fuse, gimme the shovel," Spark said.

Don't question Fuse's fuse

The visuals in this rule is too horrific for the consumer

Fuse is the only one who can call Spark "Sparky"

"Hey, what's up, Sparky?" Squid asked as he passed the two girls. Soon, Spark had Squid by his collar and up against the wall.

"No one but Fuse calls me Sparky, got that?" she said in a warning voice. Squid quickly nodded and Spark let go of Squid and he fell to the ground.

"Go, or do you want the shovel?" Spark asked. Squid got up and ran. Fuse heard him say something like,

"Man, she is so hot."

Never streak through camp, even on a dare

"But I don't want to!" Magnet whined.

"Go." Spark said, grabbing her shovel. Magnet quickly ran from the tent, ripping off his shirt. Soon, the rest of D tent heard the Warden scream.

"Oh, he is SO toast!" Fuse yelled.

There is no such thing as "Hijack Day"

"Do it! Do it! Do it!" the 2 girls chanted. Twitch had no hesitation. He climbed into the Warden's car and hotwired it within 25 seconds. He quickly drove off.

"RUN!" Fuse yelled, and her and Spark ran to the Wreck Room.

Don't stay up too late

As usual, the entire camp was up and outside at 4:30. Well, everyone was outside. Not everyone was up. Zigzag was leaning on a wooden lamp post with his arm, asleep; Fuse was also against the same post, but was also resting on Ziggy's shoulder; Magnet was passed out on the ground and Spark was standing there with her head tilted back, asleep. Mr. Pendanski came by with the machine that made the trumpet sound in the morning and turned it on.

"AH!" Fuse yelled, as she and Ziggy fell to the ground. Spark screamed as she tripped over Magnet, who still hadn't woke up.

"Damn, Mom. I was having a nice dream." Fuse said, as she was helped up by Zigzag. Spark grabbed her shovel and started swinging it around.

"Die!" she yelled.

Don't hide Spark's shovel

"WHERE'S MY SHOVEL, X-RAY?" Spark screeched as she chased X-Ray. They ran by D tent. Zigzag and Fuse stood outside the tent. Their eyes and heads followed the direction in which X-Ray was fleeing to.

"Under her bed?" Fuse asked.

"Yeah," Zigzag said.

Never give Twitch an energy drink

Twitch was bouncing around the tent and was constantly twitching. A RedBull can was beside his bed. Fuse picked it up.

"Alright, who gave him RedBull?" she asked. Magnet slowly raised his hand. Spark handed Fuse the shovel and Magnet bolted from the tent.

"Ah, I love the power of the shovel." Fuse said.

Never play "7 Minutes in Heaven"

Fuse heard noises coming from the closest in the Wreck Room.

"I don't wanna know." She said, slowly backing away.

Never freshie the newcomers.

Zigzag, Fuse, Squid, and Spark closed in on a short little dude, about 5 foot 1.

"Hey there," Fuse said.

"Welcome to Camp Green Lake." Zigzag said. Spark snuck up behind the small dude with the shovel raised.


"Oh shit, RUN!" Squid yelled, and the 4 D-tenters ran.

Never look through Fuse's lifeline: her 3rd Grade yearbook

"Oh my god, look at her hair!" Armpit yelled.

"Are you sure that's Fuse?" Zigzag exclaimed.


Or Spark's diary

"Oh my god, this is so good!"


"Oh crap, it's Crazy Shovel Lady!"

Don't call Spark "Crazy Shovel Lady"

"WHAT YOU CALL ME?" Spark yelled, picking up her shovel and charging Twitch. Twitch scurried up and ran as Spark chased her.

Never question Fuse's strange addiction to country music

"Yeah, I'm chilling on a dirt road
Laid back swerving like I'm George Jones
Smoke rolling out the window
An ice cold beer sitting in the console

Memory lane up in the headlights
Its got me reminiscing on them good times
I'm turning off a real life drive and that's right
I'm hitting easy street on mud tires"

Fuse loved country music so much, she sang it at random.

"Yo, what's with you and country music? It sucks!" Caveman said. Fuse just took the shovel.


"Say it sucks again, I dare ya." She said.

Don't ask where Magnet got the energy drink

"Hey, Magnet, where'd you get the energy drink?" X-Ray asked.

"Uhhh…" Magnet said.

"Yeah, Jose, where'd you get the energy drink?" Mr. Pendanski said.

Never ask the girls about their addiction to Greek mythology

"ZEUS WILL SMITE YOU, SQUID! ZEUS WILL SMITE YOU!" Fuse yelled as she stormed out of the tent.

"What does smite mean?" Squid asked, dumbfounded.

Never say to Fuse that her singing is horrible

"Are you gonna kiss me or not
Are we gonna do this or what
I think you know I like you a lot
But you're 'bout to miss your shot
Are you gonna kiss me or not"

"Wow. You suck." Easy said.


Never piss off the girls when it's their time of the month

"WHY ARE YOU PESTERING US? JUST SHUT UP! YOU KNOW HOW WE GET EMOTIONAL EASILY!" Spark yelled, crying. Fuse sat there, smashing stuff and angry.

"What's with her?" Squid asked.

Don't ask what tampons are.

Spark and Fuse walked in the tent to see each of the guys holding a tampon and looking at it, very confused.

"What are these?" Caveman asked.

"Tampons." Fuse replied.

"What are they used for?" Squid asked. Spark went up to Squid and whispered something in his ear.

"AH!" Squid yelled and he dropped the tampon.

"What, what?" the boys wondered.

"Um, they're used for the girl's TOM. They go in…" Squid said.

"AAHHH!" the boys yelled, throwing down the tampons.

Don't ask what's in the food.

"What's in the food?" Twitch asked, poking it.

"I saw the supply truck run over a raccoon this morning." I answered and continued to eat it.