AN: Forgive me, this isn't my best work. But, I was bored, and half asleep(I still am as I type this). Even so, I hope you all enjoy reading this, and maybe get a laugh or two.


Alfred gasped as the thick plants circled his already injured body. "Alexia, what are you-" he was cut off as her was cruelly pinned to the wall, and one of the vines wrapped tightly around his neck, cutting off all air. He struggled, but after his battle with those rats it wasn't much of a fight.

Why? He'd been a good brother, he'd watched over her, he'd done everything for her! Why was she doing this?

"You're late, brother." she purred, and his eyes widened."I had been expecting to be awake long before now." She was hurting him because of a few months? But...but Alexia wouldn't do that! Would she? But...he'd tried so hard. So what if he lost track of reality? So what if he occasionally dressed up as her and talked to himself in her voice? He was still her brother! This...shouldn't be happening!

The world grew blurry, and he heard the snow globe shader on the floor before he'd realized he'd dropped it. He couldn't believe it. She was really going to kill him...

Suddenly, the plants were jerked away from him, and he fell to the ground gasping for air. "What?" he heard Alexia exclaim in shock.

"You would do best not to touch him again." why was she talking to herself? Still breathing heavily, he looked up to see the vines fighting with another set of vines. And...two Alexias? Two of them? But...crap. He was crazier than everyone thought he was.

"Who are you?" hissed sister number one, fire flickering on her fingertips in anger.

"I am Alexia Ashford." replied sister number two calmly. "You are an imposter."

"I'm an imposter? You're the imposter!"

"I, for one, would never hurt Alfred the way you just tried to."

"Bitch..." the first one exploded into the plant human, and lunged for the second one, who sidestepped and caused the first one to run headfirst into a table, and knock herself unconscious.

"Pathetic." murmured the second one as she approached Alfred, who was more confused than he'd ever been in his entire life, "Are you okay, brother?"

"Alexia?" he whispered, "Alexia!" injuries forgotten, he threw himself at her like a puppy would it's owner, "Alexia! I, why are there two of you? And why is that one so...bad?"

"My dear Alfred, ask Capcom."

"Capcom?"

"An evil company that made an evil clone of me. That was evil. They sent her to kill you off, to make me seem more evil. But I would never hurt you, you know that."

"Good!" he said, happy, "Um...I'm getting blood all over your purple dress."

"It's all right, I'll be clean next cutscene."

"Cutsecene?"

A growl interrupted them, and the new Alexia slowly stood, glaring at them angrily. "You will pay for this."

"I think not." the real Alexia replied and snapped her fingers. The other one disappeared into thin air.

"Where did she go?" he asked curiously.

"Oh, some where nice with faries and unicorns and glitter. Come, let us completely disregard the people trying to destroy this island, the zombies and monsters running about, and that bullet wound in your chest, and go get some ice cream."

"Yay ice cream!"

Meanwhile...

"I...where am I?" the fake Alexia stood and looked around. She was in an empty, pure white room.

"Welcome...to the Resident Evil movie series!" a computer voice called out, "You are about to encounter Alice, a Mary Sue that can destroy things with her super ultra brain attack. Have a nice day!" as soon as it finished speaking a woman walked in with a giant bazooka and blew the fake Alexia up. Alice looked at the giant hole in the wall and tilted her head to the side in thought.

"I feel like ice cream..."