The video game Wesker looked at the movie Wesker, "Do you have any idea as to where we are?"
The game version shook his head. "I've no idea...but I don't like it." he gazed around at their surroundings, "Some sort of arena, so it seems."
"...Do you really have a...squid in your mouth?"
"Yes. Yes I do."
"'Ello! How's my favorite sunglasses wearing villain, uh, villains, doing?" Angel appeared, floating as usual, above them. She was smiling brightly, but it was unnerving, like the grin of a cheshire cat, "Come on, please? Sing the song? It'll be epic..."
Game Wesker folded his arms, "No. I would much rather know why you brought us here?"
"Fun?" she said, tilting her head to one side as she did so, "Are you not having it?"
"No, we are not having it," snapped movie Wesker, "Now, if you don't mind, miss author, I would very much like to go back to where I was so I may ingest Alice."
"Ingest her?" game Wesker said, repulsed by the idea, "The script writers for the movies must have been on drugs or something..."
"Yep! Now, shall we get started?" Angel asked as she floated upside down, still grinning.
"Start what?" the two cat-eyed males asked at the same time.
The grin widened further, and she vanished completely. Then, her voice came, screaming the words in an overly dramatic fashion as loud music blared from an indiscernible source, "MORTAL COMBAT!"
"What do we do now!" screamed the movie version to the game version as they both covered their ears in a failed attempt to lessen the pain the incredibly loud volume was causing to their heightened hearing.
"I think she means for us to fight!" answered the game version, trying not to wince, "Perhaps if one of us wins, she'll turn off this blasted noise!"
"Agreed!" and at that word, the two lunged at each other and-
Due to the graphic nature of this scene, it has been removed to protect your clean, clean minds.
Movie Wesker fell to the ground, gagging as blood dripped out of his mouth. He gave a final, half hearted gasp, then simply lay there, twitching. The music stopped.
"Why did the makers of the movies feel the need to put a squid in my mouth?" game Wesker mused thoughtfully, the organ in question laying limp in his hand.
"Dude! He's not dead yet!" Angel appeared beside him, "And nice work, I haven't seen violence that graphic in years!"
"I pulled this thing from his mouth, how can he live through that?"
"He's Wesker. Movie or game, it takes forever to kill ya. He was shot several times, point blank, into the brain with a shotgun. Taking away his pet squid won't be enough."
"What do you suggest then?"
"Hmm... take him to a giant volcano, then-"
"No. Find something else."
Angel sighed, "Fine, I could just blow this place up..."
"No, that won't kill me." mumbled the fallen form as it bled out a huge crimson puddle on the floor, "I'm pretty sure I survived the explosion from the helicopter."
"That's cause you are faster than a bullet, literally, and you parachuted out. I'm gonna go all Raccoon City here, which, even if you're faster than a bullet, you won't be able to out run." she pointed out logically.
"Oh...well, crap then."
"So, wanna go get some ice cream, game Wesker?"
"I would rather gargle broken teeth and acid." he answered matter-of-fact.
"Aww, you could have just said no..." Angle pouted and snapped her fingers, leaving the movie version of Wesker all alone.
"I've found ghost fudge, ghost coffee, ghost chocolate, even ghost laxatives! But no ghost ice cream. Why do you think that is, Alexia?"
"I've no clue, and I don't care." muttered the transparent plant woman bitterly.
"Why not?" asked Alice, perplexed.
"I hate ice cream."
"Gasp! You don't like ice cream? What is wrong with you? You're messed up..."
"Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black, miss Mary Sue?"
"I'm not a Mary Sue! I have flaws!"
"Oh? Name them. What about your character is flawed enough to make us question weather you'll somehow live through anything?"
"I was killed by a fly swatter last chapter." she grinned in victory.
"Only because the author altered your character."
"Oh..." she pouted.
"Sooner or later, you'll accept it." Alexia assured her with a pat on the head.
"So, either of you lovely dead girls wanna go out with me?" ghost movie Wesker asked, floating by.
"No." they chimed in unison.