AN: So this story is not meant to make much sense; there is a plot but there isn't. Hopefully William Shakespeare isn't rolling in his grave now.

Real title of this story: Romerica and Juliet: The Tragic (Actually Nothing's Tragic About This Except For England's Eyebrows) Love/Hate Story of Epic Proportions, Tomatoes and Freedom Fries: FUCK THAT BITCH JULIET.

Fail title is fail

Disclaimer-I do not own the Hetalia characters or the play in which I have placed them in.

Romerica and Juliet


(Iceland and Norway enter the room) -Narrators

Iceland: I don't see why you're here. I can do this fine on my own.

Norway: I'm sure you can Iceland but I'd rather you not.

Iceland: Why is that? It's not like I'm going to get attacked or mauled by anybody. I've got Mr. Puffin with me.

Mr. Puffin: Ain't no bitches gettin' up in here, know what I'm talkin' about?

Norway: Be that as it may, we should not waste this precious bonding opportunity. You are my little brother after all.

Iceland (evades hug from Norway): Shut up! And we're not here to bond, we're here to introduce the story!

Norway (sulks): Yes, we are. Begin the narration then Iceland.

Mr. Puffin: Start that shit bro.

Iceland: Alright, alright! (clears throat) Two households, both alike in dignity-

Norway: In modern English, please.

Iceland (sighs): In the beautiful unnamed and plot convenient city, where our story takes place, two feuding families start drama and the citizens kill each other.

Norway: Two children from these feuding families fall in love and kill each other, I think.

Iceland: They commit suicide, Norway.

Norway: That's what I said.

Iceland: Anyway, for the next few chapters, we will watch the rise and fall of these doomed lovers-

Norway: Star-crossed lovers, Iceland.

Iceland: Shut up. Where was I? Oh yeah, doomed or star-crossed, lovers and the parents' anger that only stopped because the children died.

(Commotion somewhere and another person climbs in through the window)

America: Wait, we die at the end? As in death-die?

Norway: Yes America, you die in the end. Surely England must have let you read this play when you were younger.

Iceland: Wait, why are you here?

(another person enters)

South Italy: Because the bastardo had obvious questions that needed obvious answers. Idiot. (drinks a packet of ketchup)

America: Aww Lovi~, don't be like that! My questions are totally legit, right Denmark?

Denmark: Hell yeah bro! (He and America high five)

Norway: Denmark, don't say a word to me. And don't touch Iceland either.

Denmark: Aww come on Norge~!

(outside the room) Poland: Liet, are we like, even in this story?

Lithuania: I don't know Poland. Wait, are you still watching that video of Mr. South Italy and Mr. America having sexual relations from the last story on your phone?

Poland (continues to watch video): Liet, you're like a total perv for knowing that, seriously.

Lithuania: What are you -NO! D-don't post it on my Facebook wall!

(inside the room) Norway: Alright, all of you need to leave. Iceland and I need to finish this prologue. Go on, shoo. (everyone shoos)

Norway and Iceland: If you listen to us patiently, we'll tell you everything else we didn't just tell you.

America (outside the room): I DIE?

AN: Yep, there it is…right there, here, whatever. The characters never know when to shut up and they end up making chapters longer than they should be. Oh well *shrugs like a BOSS*

I don't know whether to list the cast as a whole in one chapter or just mention the characters that will be appearing in every chapter. Don't worry, the cast is diverse, so that should be fun.

Diversity FTW.

And remember that this is a crackfic humor story, so nothing between the authoress' notes should be taken seriously. I've changed some of the characters and their roles in the play, for those who're familiar with the original Romeo and Juliet. Say WOO once for artistic liberties.


Stick around for the rest of this. Whoa, long author's note is long.