.:I Want To Get In Your Genes:.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
AN: I know I shouldn't be starting new stories, but I couldn't ignore this idea when it came to me while watching Futurama! Yay, Futurama!
I really want this to be different, short and fast moving, so you don't have to worry about it taking too much time.
Interview with an Uchiha
"Naruto, where's that report on the Obata Corporation?" Tsunade yelled as she weaved here way through cubicles, causing other employees to duck for cover and avoid any contact with the chief. All but one employee, that is.
"I told you, hag, that there's nothing worth reporting on with that place! They're all clean; down to the measly janitor's ass!" Naruto shouted back, standing up so Tsunade could find him better, 'because gods knows that the woman was well past her buzzed point by the end of the afternoon and she could use all the help she could getting around the berserk office.
Tsunade found that she was only one cubicle away from Naruto's desk so she stepped inside and leaned her arms over the wall, glaring down at the young man with piercing brown eyes. "I don't care if they even spray Lysol on the god damn cockroaches, Naruto! I want some kind of article to put in next months magazine!"
She was fed up with this. Uzumaki Naruto was one of her best writers for Konoha Incorporated, a monthly magazine that promoted or demoted businesses with a single article. Every company president who owned some company or perhaps stocks and bonds read it, taking in the information and deciding which direction to go from there. However, lately, the magazine's been in a rut with clean, goody-goody companies making sure they pick up after themselves so that nothing bad gets out about them. And due to all of this, Naruto was refusing to write anything that wasn't the tad bit interesting, passing off his notes to someone else who couldn't care any less than him.
"You get me an article for this month's issue, or so gods help me, Naruto, I will actually fire you this time!" Tsunade said, making sure the expression on her face got her message across.
"Baa-chan…" Naruto whimpered. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Okay, listen. Have you heard of Uchiha Corp? They devote their money to hospitals, collecting samples of diseases and experimenting with cryogenics?"
Tsunade stared at him for a bit, thinking, before clicking her tongue and nodding her head once. "Yeah, the one that just popped out of nowhere over night; the president is Uchiha Sasuke, the youngest company president in the history of Konoha. Didn't they put some genealogy company out of business or something?"
"Not out of business," Naruto said, a grin spreading on his face. "FamilyTree Genealogy Research Lab disappeared, along with its owner and all the employees three days after Uchiha Corp appeared."
The older woman looked at her employee, pressing her thumb to her bottom lip as she looked into his bright blue eyes. "Sounds fishy…" she muttered, Naruto leaning in to see if she would say anything. Smirking she straightened back, not caring to acknowledge that she accidently bumped into the young man sitting in his chair behind her. "Okay, you got it. Find me something spectacular or pack your things, young man. Get me Uchiha in a noose!" She called out the last part as she walked away, getting some people to stand up and look at Naruto.
Naruto grinned widely and spun around in his small space, arms in the air as he laughed victoriously. He bent back over his desk and began gathering up his interview items, tape recorder, extra tape recorder just in case, a notepad, pens, the good stuff. He slung his messenger bag over his head and grabbed his emergency dress jack, not caring that he was wearing khaki pants that day.
What Naruto hadn't mentioned to Tsunade was that Uchiha Corp was having a press conference, which he had been invited to. That wasn't abnormal in his line of business; if a company was itching to make their place in Konoha Incorporated, they often held a press conference with other reporters of the same media and pray that someone from KI will show up.
To be honest, Naruto had no idea what Uchiha Corp was until he was called by the secretary of the company. He passed the building everyday on the way home to his apartment, but he never cared enough to really look into it. However, he had done some hard research on the company and its president and he found some pretty interesting things.
According to one interview for the local paper, Uchiha Sasuke was the younger of two sons, but he somehow inherited the company and all its money when he was eighteen years old. Apparently the older brother was interested in other things and handed over all of his inheritance to Sasuke. However, what was most interesting was that Naruto couldn't find any papers on the Uchiha brothers or even their father in any record. He even went so far as to check with documents from London, which is where the Uchiha had claimed to have been born and where he'd been living all this time. It was as if Uchiha Sasuke had appeared from thin air.
Naruto was determined to get some answers; perhaps the Uchiha was in league with the mafia, or there was at least some sort of dirty money being threaded through the company.
He got to the office building in ten minutes flat thanks to the train, and now that he looked at it, Uchiha Corp was possibly the tallest tower in Konoha. There had to be some building restriction codes being overlooked…he could add that as a question to his list.
Inside the lobby of the building, he gaped at the timely white marble floors and columns. The walls were an off white and the windows were left without any curtains so that the sun could flood the room; Naruto was practically blinded by the brightness. He approached one of the three secretaries, the one that wasn't on the phone, and gave him his ID card. "I'm here for the conference," Naruto muttered, glancing at the other two secretaries. Did they really need three? Surely not many people came in to a company like this one. And why did they all look scarily alike? Naruto shrugged it off; it was probably a strict dress code, inadvertently making them look triplets.
A man with cropped hair and wearing a black suit came down the stairs located behind the front desk. "Uzumaki-san, I'll lead you to the conference room," he said in an official manner.
Naruto smirked at being called 'Uzumaki-san', and he flashed a smile at the secretary who had checked him in, but she was already looking down at something on the desk. Following the man up the stairs, he sighed as he examined he cliché artwork that had absolutely nothing to do with the company. They were all trees, either on a manor, or on a farm. Deciding that he didn't like the silence, he let out a nervous laugh and glanced at the man he was following. "It must be hard to tell those secretaries apart, huh?"
He was met with silence, which made him both annoyed and nervous. This guy was like a bodyguard or something. The two men reached the end of a hallway where large, probably solid wood, double doors stood. They opened inward as they approached them and the man stopped and motioned for Naruto to enter. He looked inside to see that there were two columns of chairs with three rows of eight chairs. The front two rows in both columns were already completely filled, and the third row on the left was full too.
Naruto swallowed thickly at the silence in the room, everyone having stopped what they were doing to look at the new comer. He stepped in and quickly turned to look behind him to see carbon copies of the man who had led him to the room closing the double doors. Why did everyone who worked here look the same? He turned back and all the other reporters were facing forward. Studying them by the back of their heads, he noticed that he didn't know any of them, which was odd. He always saw the same reporters from the newspapers and other magazines when he attended mass interviews like this one. Did those companies send all the rookies perhaps? And why were they all sitting quietly? It was as though they were nervous to talk with each other or something, which Naruto wouldn't blame them for if they were all new to this. He hadn't spoken to anyone his first time until someone approached him.
Taking a seat in the back row on the left, he lounged back in his chair and pulled his notepad from his messenger bag, flipping through it till he got to the questions he had for the president of the Uchiha Corp. He was beginning to hope that some spokes person didn't come out instead and began spouting memorized lines. The woman who had contacted him for this had said that Uchiha Sasuke himself was going to be speaking.
Glancing at the fancy-looking podium in the front of the room, he began to wonder what this room was usually used for. The curtains had been drawn, so the only light was from the two exquisite chandeliers hanging from the ceilings.
"Uchiha has expensive taste…" Naruto muttered, writing those words in his notepad. He looked up in time to see yet another man who looked just like the one who escorted him approach the podium and stand a few feet behind it.
Everyone stood up in unison and Naruto did as well, bowing with them when a young raven-haired man entered from a side door hidden by a curtain. When he was standing stoically behind the podium, everyone sat down without a word, and Naruto followed.
"I'm Uchiha Sasuke, president of Uchiha Corporations, top researcher in cryogenics and DNA testing. I will be taking your questions now," the man said with a velvety voice.
Naruto's jaw dropped. This guy was Uchiha Sasuke? He knew that the president was supposed to be young, but this guy looked like a fucking model! How the hell did someone like this run a company? He quickly flipped through his notes and saw that the Uchiha was supposedly twenty-two, three years younger than Naruto himself.
Deciding to sit back and wait for some easy questions to get the mood rolling, Naruto practically winced at all the stupid questions these people asked. It was as if none of them had done any research at all before coming here. They were asking things that they could have learned from that half-assed newspaper article that was probably written and submitted by someone in the company.
He looked at Uchiha Sasuke and his breath hitched when he was met with dark obsidian orbs. The guy was actually making full-on eye contact with him, as if he were waiting for Naruto to speak up. He would only look away to answer a reporter's question, and then his eyes would return to Naruto.
Naruto looked behind him to see if he was mistaking the situation, but there was no one there but one of the doormen. As he turned back around, he noticed that there were no cameras recording all of this. He was grateful he had pressed the record button on his two recorders so that they were catching everything being said.
Swallowing thickly, he decided to end this small talk interview and pull out the big guns. He raised his hand and wasn't too surprised when the company president called on him immediately. Standing up, he looked at Uchiha Sasuke challengingly as he spoke. "Uchiha-san, you claim to have been born and raised in London, England. You also claim that you had an older brother who gave up his inheritance…" as he continued to list the facts he knew, he noticed that there was a growing smirk on Sasuke's lips and it made begin to stammer. "Uh…s-so would you care to explain why you're forging…" he paused to swallow. "Why you're forging your existence with this company in Konoha?" He mentally cursed; that wasn't how he meant to word that question at all. He couldn't help but feel nervous, though! The guy was looking at him with dark, narrowed eyes and smirking!
"So it was you," Uchiha Sasuke said, his tone changing to that of amusement compared to the dull tone he had been answering questions with before. He turned his attention away from Naruto to the sea of people in front of him. "Thank you, everyone; you have been most helpful. You can all return to your usual tasks, now."
The other reporters stood up and bowed respectfully in unison before exiting the room, some going through the door Sasuke had entered through, others going to the double doors in the back.
Naruto stood up, panicked, and watched as the men and women left. He looked back at Sasuke who was leaning casually over the podium now. This had been a fake interview! Of course it had; how could Naruto have been so stupid? He had been seeing all the signs but never registered that this was all a set up. And he had just gone and revealed that he knew things about the Uchiha that could put the company in the spotlight. 'Shit…they're going to kill me.'
"Uzumaki Naruto, me and other members of this company would really appreciate it if you would cease your snooping. It really is bothersome, and who cares about all the tiny fact to begin with?" the raven haired man said, twirling his hand in the air.
Naruto glared at him. "You're not really Uchiha Sasuke, are you?" he asked.
The man straightened his back and lifted his chin up. "Of course I'm Uchiha Sasuke. I like to deal with these matters personally, after all."
Naruto's intense gaze didn't let up, though he was frozen with fear in his spot. Were they going to kill him or not? "All this for a reporter doing his job? Isn't that a little over the top?"
Sasuke smirked at him, the kind of smirk you make when you know something important, something secret. "I won't ask again, Uzumaki. Stop trying to find the answers that will never be there." Sasuke looked past him and nodded and Naruto found himself being dragged out the door.
"Wait, my bag!" he called. He could see the other door man bending down to get his things, and then he looked up at Sasuke who was staring after him, amused. "Fucking bastard!" He shouted at the company president, which earned him a chuckle in response.
Naruto grunted something unintelligible as he was shoved off the last two steps and into the lobby. He turned around just in time to catch his bag that was thrown at him. He bared his teeth at the two doormen who merely turned and walked back up the steps.
"Thank you for visiting Uchiha Corporations; please have a nice day." the three secretaries said in unison.
Naruto gaped at them before shaking his head and turning to leave. On the train, he checked his bag and found that both his tape recorders were missing. "You have got to be shitting me!" he growled, earning a disapproving look from the elderly woman sitting across from him. Flipping through his notepad, all the questions and notes he had about the Uchiha Company were torn out. "Sonova…this asshole is ridiculous! I cannot wait to tell grandma Tsunade about this."
"He what?" Tsunade asked, eyebrows raised and mouth opened.
"He fucking went and made up a fake conference just to tell me to get lost! He took my tape recorders and all the notes I had written down! I had important memos on those tape recorders!" Naruto said, exasperated.
"Quick, write down everything now while it's still in your mind!" Tsunade said, handing him a notepad and pen.
"Already did," Naruto said, holding his hands up to deny the materials.
"This is gold, Naruto. Pure fucking gold. They displayed malice; that's what brings a company down." Tsunade said, suddenly getting excited.
Naruto shook his head, suddenly feeling exhausted. "Yeah, but I don't have any physical proof anymore. And it's not like they beat me up or threatened my life. He just said that he and the company would really appreciate it if I stopped snooping." He ran his fingers through his hair as he recalled those dark eyes watching him and the smooth voice speaking to him with that smirk. "Thank god I didn't take a picture of him with my cell phone otherwise I'd have lost that, too. It's not covered by a warranty, you know?"
"Always the optimist," Tsunade said, placing her chin on her folded hands and tilting it to the side. "You can't give up; I want more of this story. I'll provide you with a camera so go out and get as many pictures as you can."
Naruto looked at her in uncertainty. "Better pray he doesn't catch me and take that, too."
His boss huffed and she leaned back in her chair. "Naruto," she said in amusement. "You know I don't pray."
"Sasuke-sama, welcome back." A man with silver hair and a mask over his face said in an almost bored tone from where he leaned against the wall. The lights of the room came back on and Sasuke stepped off the round, silver platform.
"Recharge the machine, Kakashi; I'm going back tomorrow." Sasuke said, his hand clutching the bag in it tighter.
Hatake Kakashi nodded to a man in a gray coat that immediately did as he was told. "So soon?" Kakashi asked, following Sasuke out of the room.
"It's started," Sasuke said, raising the bag higher for Kakashi to see.
Kakashi smirked, opening a door for his boss. "How was it?"
"Not as eventful as I hoped, but still fun. Tomorrow is when he's supposed to start following me around, and then I get to capture him." Sasuke smirked darkly and stepped on a platform at the bottom of a railing. "I'll be in my room; don't disturb me for the rest of the night."
"No dinner?" Kakashi asked as the platform glided along the banister and up to the balcony on the second floor.
"Leave it outside my room." Sasuke called to him and he walked down the expansive hallway and into his room. He immediately shoved his hand into the bag and pulled out one of the tape recorders. Pressing the play button, he listened to the voice that came from the dated contraption.
"Funny joke I heard today; there's a farmer who has a horse. He puts out a flyer saying that he'll pay anyone who can make his horse laugh one thousand dollars…"
Sasuke smirked slightly, placing the tape recorder on the glass nightstand next to his bed. He undressed while listening to the raspy voice.
"So everyone tries, but no one can make the horse laugh. A black man says he can do it, goes in, and comes out a few seconds later with the horse laughing its ass off. The farmer pays him the money. But…"
Lying naked on top of his silk bed sheets, Sasuke leaned his head back on the pillow and silently reached a hand down, gripping his half-hard member.
"The farmer can't get the horse to shut up, so he offers another one thousand dollars to anyone who can make him quiet. The black man returns, goes inside, and everything gets quiet. When he comes out, the farmer says, 'I have to know, how are you doing that?' The black man smiles and says, 'It's easy. I got him to laugh by telling him my penis was bigger than his. I got him to shut up by showing him.'"
Sasuke let out a breathy laugh, not exactly amused by the joke, but still found it funny because Naruto began laughing. "Gods I can't wait to make you mine…"
Outside the door, Kakashi placed the tray of food on a small table in the hallway, pretending that he wasn't hearing the moans coming from his boss's bedroom.
It might seem weird right now, but it'll get there soon, don't worry.
And if it doesn't seem weird and you've predicted the entire story already, I hate you and I never wanna talk to you again. :P
By the way, do any of you listen to Andrew Bird or Emiliana Torrini? Well y'all should! And that is my music blog for the week.