A/N: This is inspired by an idea from Fyre's Guide to Creativity (found in my favorites) which is written by one of my very first FFN friends, Fyre! Again, I don't mean to hurt anyone's feelings if you've written a story like this; this is just for fun to show some of the ideas that I think are used WAY too often on FFN.
Hurt feelings are absolutely not allowed at this party. We need to be able to laugh at ourselves, right?
On to the story!
I Dare You…
"I presume—" Jiao-Jie started. Unfortunately she was abruptly reduced to shrieking by a wailing winged-lemur who attached himself to her head, scratching and clawing at her hair.
"Come here Momo," Aang called. The lemur hissed at the author and flew to his friend. The girl stood still, breathing hard with her face covered in scratches.
"I presume you know why I've called you all here today," Jiao-Jie said again after composing herself. She pushed her hair out of her eyes and cleared her throat, adjusted her plastic glasses (for emphasis) then scanned the room of characters. Ty Lee stood beside her looking as unhappy as someone who was perpetually smiling could look.
"No?" one character replied.
"Not really, no," called another.
"You didn't really tell us," concluded a third.
"Okay, okay!" the author exclaimed, "I guess you don't know why I've called you all here." She adjusted her clip-on tie. "As you all know, in chapter twenty eight of Fyre's Guide to Creativity someone dared Ty Lee to throw an 'I love bad fanfiction' party…and since in order to do that in story form she needed an author, here I am."
Every person, fictional or nonfictional, in the room groaned.
"Well, that is exactly what I plan to do!" Jiao-Jie slammed her fist down on the table she stood beside. "Ouch…Anyway, we're going to have a chapter for as many different kinds of bad Avatar fanfiction as I can think of…and since you all have to act out everything that I write I figured I should let you know what I'm getting you into."
"Please tell me you're not going to—" Zuko started.
"Yes, yes I am. There will be one chapter of horrible, terrible, over the top Zutara that is such a combination of cheesy and sweet it will make you gag." She took a sip of the tea near her right hand. "OOH, Iroh that really is that best tea I've ever had."
"I told you it would be!" Iroh replied jovially over his nephew's protests.
"COME ON. In the time it takes you to write a satirical Zutara chapter there are going to be at least fifty real ones published and we have to act those out too," Zuko explained, glaring at both Ty Lee and the author. Azula's evil cackle floated from somewhere in the back of the crowd.
"Yeah, give us a break," Katara said with a matching glare. "It's getting really awkward."
"No can do, guys. Despite our best efforts people are still writing this stuff. We need to make them stop by showing them how silly it looks and how all you characters feel about it, am I right?" asked Jiao-Jie.
"RIGHT!" Ty Lee jumped in, with a real jump for emphasis. Everyone turned to look at her. "What, I haven't said anything yet…I felt left out."
"Listen guys, I just wanted to tell you what's going to happen so that you don't hate me for making you play out these plot lines yet again," the author said sadly, flipping open her laptop and opening the list of chapters she had planned so far.
There was a grumble around the room. "Well, can you do something besides just killing me?" Aang asked.
"We'll see, Aang," Jiao-Jie replied offhandedly.
"I bet you're going to do a High School AU too, huh?" Toph drawled. The author froze. "WHAT? I was just kidding…Spirits, I didn't think you would really do that."
The room went into an uproar.
"I can't even waterbend in those!" Katara yelled.
"Oh BOO-HOO," her brother shouted back.
"If I have to be a cheerleader again I'm going to show you the meaning of pain!" Azula screamed from the rear of the crowd. Jiao-Jie whimpered.
"At least you don't have to pretend you can see," Toph snapped at the fire princess.
"I can see!"
"Yeah, but do you know how hard it is act not blind?"
"Ahem," Jiao-Jie adjusted her tie again. "AHEM," she said louder. The feuding characters turned back to the front. "That brings me to my next point. I do have a few ideas so far and I am going to let you guys decide what order we go in."
"How about you just write a real story instead?" offered Sokka.
"You know I already am; this is a side project. Jeez," she replied. Sokka pouted. "Here is what you guys can expect so far:
-Over the top Zutara (level of cheesiness indicated above)
-High school AU
"More obvious than this?" asked Katara.
Jiao-Jie continued as if the waterbender hadn't spoken although her cheeks turned slightly pink. "That's is what I have so far, but there are more ideas on the—" The author gasped as the door was flung open, slamming against the wall.
"NUUU," Sokka shouted, diving behind a table.
"You," spat Ty Lee with as much venom as she could muster.
The girl in the doorway cackled. "I just wanted to say that you should also do a chapter about all around bad grammar. You know, misspelling characters names and suchwhatnot."
"OOOH, thanks Fyre!" Jiao-Jie quickly added that idea to her others, only slightly unsettled that the other girl knew the exact moment to barge in.
"So I have to be Mei again?" asked Mai, sighing. "This is so stupid."
"No problem! I'll be seeing you all soon!" Fyre threatened, then threw a toaster at someone, giggled again and slammed the door behind her.
"Where does she keep the toasters?" Aang asked as his air scooter dissolved from underneath him. Momo screeched and flew to Katara, who patted his head gently.
"I don't know, but she has murder eyes," whispered Sokka from behind the table.
"Fyre's murdery gaze aside, I now have several ideas on which to base a good 'I love bad fanfiction' party! Stay tuned everyone for the first installment of my—"
"AND MINE!" interrupted Ty Lee.
"And Ty Lee's party! If you have any other ideas feel free to review, or send a message!"
"Who are you talking to?" drawled Mai, examining her nails.
"Uhm…" the author thought, "the world, I guess?"
"Can we go now?" asked Toph.
Jiao-Jie sighed, opening a fresh file on her laptop. "Yeah, sure."
A/N: The next chapter will be up soon. =]
Thank you to Fyre for beta-ing this as well as to whoever dared Ty Lee...'cause without you this fic would not be possible. *Tears up and gives the mystery person a waffle iron as a door prize.*