I Wish I Was the Moon

Teen Wolf Collection

Song: Neko Chase

Yep, I'm back again with another songfic wouldn't you know it? This one is dedicated to everyone who reviewed my last one. Really I love you guys. And p.s you don't have to review if you don't want to. The fact that anyone would even bother reading is more than enough. Thank you for bringing back the love for writing again.

Teen Wolf isn't mine.

I got a call from Stiles earlier today. Said he wanted to show me something cool but I know he just wants to talk. I hope I have no idea what it's about.

He meets me on his front porch. Glad to see me but a little upset I insisted on riding my bike. I don't explain that I needed time to think and he doesn't ask. Good Ole Stiles. I follow him inside.

"I see you brought the snacks." He gestures to the bag I'm holding filled with junk food. "Cool."

I shrug and glance at the clock in the living room. It's earlier than I thought it'd be. Damn Stiles and his constant punctuality.

He takes the bag from me and heads to the kitchen to chill the sodas I brought while I linger in the living room trying to sort out my jumbled thoughts with little success.

Then he's in the doorway. I don't know how long he's been there or how long he's watching me but I do know I don't like the look he's giving me. It's somewhere between pity and hurt. Like he knows what I'm thinking about.

"What?" I ask icily.

He shrugs. "It's nothing." Then, mutters something indecent under his breath. "We have a long night ahead of us." He says with the type of enthusiasm that only he can muster.

We head to his room where our (mostly because of Stiles) sleepover tradition always begins. We should really do away with it since we're both beyond the age for it to be suspect. But even I have to admit, these sleepovers and mom's nightshifts are the only remnants of stability left in my life.

It starts the same as usual. We talk about our day at school, (teachers we hate, Allison's great advice on how to deal with them and everything else, the gross cafeteria food, Lydia and Jackson), our fleeting childhood and random things that only best friends who known each other their whole lives can recall.

Even now I can laugh and tease as Stiles gushes over his obsession with DC comics and see that excited twinkle in his eye like we're kids again. Or at least he's a kid again, protected from the cruelty this world can bring. Funny, it almost makes me feel whole.

After we inhaled most of the chips and dip and downed the sodas, Stiles turns to me. His face is completely elated and carefree but there's an underlying seriousness there as he studies my face. He recognizes that this is the happiest I've been in awhile and the fact is making him proud of his dumb sleepover idea. "We should do this more often huh?" He slurs casually.

"No." I say without hesitation, but I can't help but smile a little. "Definitely not."

He chuckles and turns back around to face his computer. It's probably a minute later when he says "I miss this."

The sadness inflected in his tone alerts me immediately but I try to ignore it. I keep my eyes glued to the ceiling and try to distract myself again.

"I wish you could forget him Scott." Stiles voice echoes from somewhere in the room. I don't know because my eyes are still stuck to the ceiling and my dad is showing me how to use a fishing rod.

"I wish we could return to life before He came and ruined it." I smile as Dad casts the rod, the sunshine warm against my back as we both wait.

The rod is submerged. Dad's proud of my patience. "I miss you Scott." Stiles voice echoes so loud that I can't hear Dad. "I want you to be happy again."

Dad draws me in a hug and I can smell the musky scent of the woods on him. I inhale a healthy dose wanting to hold on to this memory forever. "Happy the way you were before Derek because, he's not coming back."

The memory fades fast. Dad's gone. The lake's gone. Peace gone. Suddenly I'm back on Stiles' bed aware of a deep and gnawing ache in my chest and Stiles in the background repeating I'm sorry.

But it's too late. He knows and I know. And suddenly I'm running. Out of the room, out of the house, into the woods before the memories, the pain or anything can come back to me.

I keep running though I know Stiles doesn't have a hope of catching me. I would wolf out but I can't. So I run until I collapse on the hard earth.

The tears have already started and are streaming down the sides of my face like they want to wash away the sweat and dirt but I barely notice them. Because just above the canopy of trees, far out there in the night sky, clear and round is a full moon.

Without thought I slowly pick myself up off the ground and step forward keeping it in my vision. It's so close I could almost reach up and touch it. The moonlight plays in my hair, across my skin. I close my eyes and let it bathe me, even though I'm unsure why.

For an all too brief moment I feel serene. One image flashes in my mind of Derek and me the night of the last full moon, six months ago, basking in it together as it showered us with its light and wisdom.

Derek's words come to me. "Some people wish they could go to the moon." He says brushing the curve of my cheek. "But not me. I wish sometimes I could be the moon. To have its power over so many creatures and yet be so modest is one of the greatest gifts ever bestowed." He smiled as I mused this over. "We are all connected to each other because of it, we're stronger and we are one. We are all susceptible to its power."

I raise my heavy lids as more tears come, but somehow I'm not in so much pain as before. Instead I feel something or someone. I feel him. I don't know how far or how close but I feel him. And that's all I need. He's out there. And he can feel me too.

A/N: I don't usually do this but I have to point out something. Werewolves in my fics don't go crazy on full moon night, they just get strength, awareness that jazz and they are most powerful on those nights. And yes in the fic a full moon is like every six months. Why? Because I suck at geography.

And P.S. Teen Wolf is a rockin show. And yes I like Scott/Allison though I think he's an extremely versatile character.

P.S.S./P.P.S. If you haven't heard the song, which I heard on True Blood another rockin show, check it out.