I am still working on the next chapter to Anxious. It should be up in a few days, but I wanted to take a break from it before it's finished. It's a doozy.

So I had this idea that I knew wouldn't fit into Anxious and figured I would write it as a one-shot. I got the idea after having many discussions and reading others go on about why and when Hermione is called 'Mione. I just don't see Ron calling her that and I know I'm not the only one. I'm not totally against it as it doesn't send me running for the hills. I've read plenty of fanfiction where it's used and they are some of my favorite stories so I am not bashing anyone who decides to use it. I just wanted to have fun with it and show Hermione's reaction to the name the way I envision it.

I also wrote this for a friend of mine who is going through some rough times right now. Nothing says "cheer up!" like some fantastic smut. You're welcome, Liz!

Disclaimer: Sadly I do not own Harry Potter.

'Miones and Broken Tongues

"I don't bloody care what Harry says. You. ARE. Mental," Ron seethed, fury spitting out from every pore of his body.

He glared down his nose at Hermione, thoroughly satisfied that his freakishly taller than average height was finally good for something. Making Hermione, with her large brain and ego to match, feel rather small. After three years of dating the brilliant witch and even more years of friendship before that Ron found he had picked up some tricks along the way on how to deal with Hermione's ever changing mood swings and complete self-importance. He suppressed the urge to smirk smugly when her eyes flickered away from his for a second. As an Auror he was trained to look for any signs of surrender in the eyes of the guilty party. It was lightning fast, as Hermione was experienced in her own right at covering her true emotions, but he could have sworn he recognized the very brief glimpse of defeat. She recovered quickly just as Ron knew she would.

"And I suppose you must be the expert in this area since you yourself are just as insane, are you not?" she said haughtily, her arms crossing in front of her chest.

Ron shook his head slowly. "Don't change the fucking subject, Hermione. My state of mind has nothing to do with what you did and you bloody well know it!"

"She had it coming and if it were the other way around you would have done a lot worse and you b-bloody well know it!"

"Look at you," Ron scoffed. "You want to act so tough and righteous and you can't even fucking swear like you mean it. Pathetic."

"Well, I, unlike some immature boys, don't need to swear to make my point," Hermione said unfolding her arms and clamping her hands on her hips. "However, when speaking to one, one must reduce themselves to their ridiculous level in order for their Neanderthal brains to comprehend. Did it work?" she finished and opened her eyes wide, challenging him.

"Oi! I am not a…neandy…thing! Besides, using big words is not going to work. There is no way I'm letting you stand there and lecture ME about sanity and maturity. Not after –"

"Oh please that was nothing," Hermione said waving her hand in front of his face dismissively. He hated when she did that. He pointed a finger an inch away from her nose and tilted his head until their eyes lined up.

"Tell me why you did it. What makes you so much better than everyone else that you felt the need to give her-"

"Ron…get that finger out of my face. I will use my teeth if I have to." Hermione interrupted in a low growl.

"Oh you would love that, wouldn't you?" he sneered, moving his finger down to hover over her lips. "Go ahead then. You've already got my bollocks in your fucking pocket. Forget the finger. Why not take the whole hand…'Mione," he said knowing the one thing that would set her off and not caring one bit.

He could feel hot breath come out of her mouth in short and fast intervals curling around his hand. The heat spread through his arm like wildfire and cascaded over his body. When she wrapped her hand around his finger beads of sweat popped up on his brow. Her hand was incredibly small compared to his bearlike hands so his finger easily fit inside the palms of her hand.

Suddenly Hermione yanked her hand down bending his finger as far back as she could.

"Oh fuck!" Ron shouted as Hermione turned her wrist. His body involuntarily crouched down to follow the path that his unfortunate finger was forced to go. She let go abruptly and stepped back from him tripping over the edge of the coffee table. She huffed at the table and glared back at Ron.

"I told you to NEVER call me that!" she yelled. Ron stared incredulously at her as he cradled his sore finger in is other hand, rubbing the knuckle.

"Really, 'Mione? You don't like being called 'Mione? Why ever not…'Mione?" he taunted exaggerating the syllables in the last word, stepping closer to her. His temper was at an all time high. She had resorted to physical pain, and even though his pride was more bruised than his finger it would be a day in hell before he let that on.

"Ron…I'm warning you. My hairs are standing up," she breathed, her chest heaving.

"Alright, fine," he said grinning evilly down at her. "I'm sorry…'Mione."

Then he did something he knew would make her really lose her shit. He bent down and swiftly crushed his lips to hers careful not to touch her with his hands. It was firm enough to startle her and was over before she could recover and think to bite his lip or worse.

"Urrgh!" she growled loudly and stomped her foot down on Ron's trainer hard. Ron took a full step back from her just in time to avoid being hit across the arm by her swinging hand.

"Damn it woman! Why are you always so goddamn violent?" he yelled, shaking his foot out in front of him. He quickly recovered when he saw her coming toward him.

"Why are you such an arse Ronald Weasley?" she yelled and pushed against his chest. Of course Ron anticipated this and rooted his feet to the floor. He couldn't help but snort as Hermione kept pushing; her hands were planted squarely on his hard chest leaning on him with all her might. Her face was scrunched up while her shoes slid back on the floor. He rolled his eyes and grabbed her hands off his chest. He shoved her arms down pinning them to her sides.

"Give it up, Hermione. You're embarrassing yourself," he said patronizingly.

"Don't you use that tone with me, Ron," Hermione growled blowing a curl that had escaped her ponytail away from her face. Ron inwardly groaned at the gesture as her hair was one of his weaknesses. As long as it was pulled back and away from view he could carry on and argue all night, but seeing that one curl did things to his body. Irrational and lustful thoughts flipped over in his brain and the anger he had previously welcomed like an old friend had been replaced by complete desire. All over a single curl of hair. He was wrong. He was the pathetic one.

He felt himself soften and instantly regretted it when Hermione pulled away from his slackened grip and used her whole body to shove him again, this time making him stumble back a few steps. Ron reached out and grabbed her by the waist pulling her with him until his back hit the wall. He turned them around trapping her against the wall with his knee between her legs and his hands once again holding her arms down.

It was late at night, but the moon filtered through the window of their flat mixing with the warm glow from the muggle lamps Ron insisted they buy when they moved in together. The light was hitting Hermione in all the right places making Ron's heart quicken.

"Why did you do it, Hermione?" he asked breathlessly.

In the brief scuffle her hair had fought against her barrette and won. Long brown curls were cascading over her shoulders and a few frizzy strands stood out in front of her face. She shook her head making them fall back into place and Ron thought his trousers might explode. He moved his hips away from her so she wouldn't find out how turned on he was.

"I told you already, Ron. That's not my name. I don't know where you came up with it the first time you said it, but I told you then and I'm telling you again to never-"

"No, that's not what I'm talking about," he cut her off shaking his head. "I mean…were you jealous of that girl? What did she do to make you hate her that much?"

Hermione rolled her eyes and tried in vain to free her arms. Ron was prepared and slid his hands into hers moving them between her back and the wall. He had to move his body closer to do this and he saw her eyes widen as his erection rubbed against her belly.

"I was not jealous…You didn't notice how she was touching you?" Hermione said and licked her lips. "She made it very obvious that she fancied you. It was obnoxious really. Honestly, you can be so thick sometimes."

"Interesting choice of words," Ron quipped then pressed his body closer, fitting her body into his. He pushed his erection more firmly on her belly and heard her breath catch in her throat.

"I'm serious," she croaked making Ron chuckle.

"No you were jealous. Admit it or I'll say it again... 'Mio-"

"Okay fine!" Hermione exclaimed. She dropped her head back until it rested on the wall and glared at him. "I was jealous, okay? Just…don't say that word again," she mumbled then bit her lip when Ron laced his fingers with hers and slid her hands down to cup her own bum.

"So you're saying that you got all hot and bothered because you think she wanted me?"

"No I'm telling you I know she wanted you. I'm a woman. I know these things," she said as she tried once again to pull her hands away from his. "Ron, let go."

"And this made you so mad that you just had to teach her a lesson," he said then bent down to whisper in her ear. "Is that right?"

"Ron," Hermione moaned still trying to wriggle her hands free from his causing her breasts to slide against his chest. He could feel her hard nipples through the top of her dress and realized with renewed desire that she wasn't wearing a bra.

"You're sweating," he murmured against her throat before running his tongue along the skin behind her ear.

Hermione shuddered violently and he can hear her grit her teeth. "Ron stop, that's not fair," she said as she moved her head to the side allowing Ron to trail his tongue from her ear to the base of her throat. "I'm mad at you."

"Why? What did I do?" Ron asked no longer caring who won the argument or even remembering what they were arguing about. As long as she let him keep tasting her he'll just have to keep her talking. He planted soft kisses along her chin and nudged her head to the other side with his nose to repeat the process on her left ear.

"Because…you're being a prat and…and you're not even listening to me," Hermione said flexing her arms against the restraint of his hands. "Let me go! Oh!"

Ron had bit down on her ear making Hermione gasp and squirm even more.

"Quit moving around, will you?" he mumbled moving his mouth back over her neck slowly and nipping at her collarbone.

"Then quit making me. Let my hands go," Hermione shot back and twisted her body violently trying to break away from him. The friction only served to make him even harder and he let her know by grinding his hips on hers.

"Why? So you can hit me again? Not bloody likely," Ron said grinning up at her flushed face. "I like you like this," he said as he moved his right knee between her legs and pulled her hands over her head pressing them into the wall. "All desperate and tetchy. Red really suits you," he said referring to her face and neck that was moist from his tongue and red from blushing.

"Maybe, but being an infuriating git doesn't really suit you," Hermione said glaring at him. He knew she was trying to stay in control, but if her quivering lower lip and the dampness he felt on his knee was any indication she was losing that battle.

He lifted his leg suddenly making her legs part and her dress ride up her legs. He finally let go of her letting his hands slide down her arms and over her shoulders until they landed on her breasts, his thumbs rolling across her hard nipples.

"Oh sweet merlin," she whispered and closed her eyes. He watched as she bit her lip hard and ground her pelvis on his knee.

"Bloody hell, you're beautiful. Completely nuts, but so fucking brilliant," Ron said before kissing her full on the mouth.

Their lips and tongues moved furiously over one another while hands touched everywhere. At one point Ron found one hand under her dress pushing her knickers aside and sliding his finger along her wet folds.

"I reckon you're glad you didn't bite this thing off, am I right?" Ron said before letting the finger that Hermione had previously offended inside of her.

"Oh sh-," Hermione gasped and banged her head back against the wall with a thud. She reached out to grab handfuls of Ron's hair pulling his head down to meet hers. "More," she moaned, her breath hot on his face.

Ron kissed her again tasting sweat from her upper lip as he slid his middle finger inside to join the first one. Hermione let out a loud groan that sounded like she was frustrated so Ron quickly added a third finger, pumping them in and out, making wet sucking sounds like music to Ron's ears.

"Yes… oh my god…harder, Ron. Faster," Hermione groaned into his mouth as she ground her hips down on his hand. Ron braced himself with one arm on the wall over her head while the other slammed into her repeatedly.

They were both breathing heavy, sweat beading on their brow. She gripped his shoulders tightly as Ron watched her come undone before his eyes. He was never this rough with her before and was surprised at how much she was enjoying it. However, he needed more as well. He needed to feel her with more than his hands.

"Fuck this," he said taking his hands out of her without warning and ripping her knickers off with one hand throwing the ruined piece of fabric over his shoulder. Hermione opened her mouth to protest, but Ron quickly silenced her by pushing her back against the wall. He yanked the straps of her dress down, her breasts spilling out. He didn't waste any time before unfastening his trousers and pushing them with his pants down to his ankles.

"Ron!" Hermione exclaimed holding onto his shoulders so she wouldn't topple over. "What-"

"Shh," he hissed and kissed her to make her shut up. "I need you. Now."

He reached around under her dress to palm her arse, his large hands kneading her soft round cheeks before lifting her up and wrapping her legs around his waist. Their pelvises were aligned perfectly allowing his rock hard cock to slip into her soaked pussy in one swift thrust. They both moaned together, their foreheads meeting in the middle as they paused to catch their breath.

"Tell me, Ron. I want you to use that dirty mouth of yours and tell me you want to f-fuck me. Say it," Hermione whispered, her eyes piercing into his. His heart caught in his throat rendering him temporarily mute. Since they got together Ron must have heard Hermione swear only a handful of times, each time either in the middle of row or during an orgasm. He considered it a personal triumph each and every time knowing that only he had this effect on her.

Ron swallowed and, with his body holding her up and her hands gripping his shoulders, he buried his hands into her hair and tugged on her curls making her head tilt back so he could see her face. They stared at each other with so much want and lust he found he had to concentrate just to open his mouth to speak.

"I'm going to fuck you so hard you'll forget your own goddamn name," He whispered hoarsely.

Hermione bit her lip and moaned. "Now call me that name. Please."

Ron paused and in his haze was not sure what she meant. He didn't want to ruin the mood so he said the first thing that came to mind.

"You…bitch," he growled and moved in to kiss her and instead found air.

"Excuse me!" Hermione's shrill voice made him snap his head back in alarm.

"What? Oh come on you're killing me. I'm going to literally die, Hermione," he said desperately and bucked his hips sliding his erection deeper inside of her to make his point. Hermione moaned and hit his shoulder.

"No, I'm talking about the other one. From earlier," she said rolling her eyes.

"Oh! Right….'Mione," he said with a grin.

"I hate you," she snarled before grabbing him by the back of the head and pulling him to her, crushing her lips on his. Then she really surprised him by sucking on his tongue and biting down, hard.

"Hothy thit!" Ron yelled while grabbing his bruised tongue between his two fingers. His senses were then overwhelmed by the smell and taste of her still on his fingers and he found himself sucking on them, tasting her. When he noticed Hermione licking her lips he shoved his wet fingers into her mouth. As soon as he did that he panicked thinking she would finally go on her word and bite one of them off. He was stunned when she took two fingers in and flicked her tongue over them as he slowly pulled them out.

"That was so fucking sexy," he said in awe before grabbing her waist and pushing into her as deep as he could go.

"Just let go, Ron. I'm not going to break," she said reaching under Ron's shirt and raking her nails across his chest and abs.

Ron didn't need any further instruction as he planted his feet, which still had his trousers and pants tangled around them, and spread his legs apart to hold her up. He used his hands to guide her as he pumped in and out of her making her whimpers turn to loud moans. The faster and harder he pounded into her the louder she would scream. Her nails dug into his biceps as he leaned forward to lick her nipple. He sucked and pulled at it using his teeth. The dull ache on his tongue reminded him that he needed to seek revenge somehow so he moved his mouth to the flesh of her breast right next to her nipple and bit her hard enough to leave an impression.

He was rewarded with an aggressive pinch on his bum making him growl and thrust into her harder than ever.

"Oh fucking hell…so hard…I'm so close…are you…" he panted

"Yes! I'm there. Keep going…," she cried out before shuddering and convulsing around him squeezing down hard on his erection. He lost it then and slammed into her erratically with everything he had. They came together then they both slowed to a stop breathing heavy in each other's faces. Hermione let go of his hair and slumped forward with her head on his shoulder. Ron's legs felt like jelly so he let them both go and carefully dropped to the floor with Hermione on top of him.

"That was fucking brilliant. You don't really hate me, do you?" Ron asked and kissed her sweaty forehead that was resting on his shirt covered chest.

Hermione sat up gingerly and smiled down at him. "Of course not. You know I love you. Sorry about your tongue."

Ron grinned and helped her adjust her dress that was twisted around her body. "Love you, too. And I'm fine. I'd rather have a bruised tongue than be a girl with a gray beard, that's for sure."

Ron laughed as Hermione tried not to smile. "I told you she had it coming."

A/N: I love Ron pushing her buttons and Hermione being a bad ass not letting some random chick paw all over her man. I can never get enough of these two fighting and bickering and I can just imagine them having hot make up sex (obviously).This was so much fun to write and I hope it was as much fun to read. Please review and let me know what you think!