Summary: "We have arrived for the birthday extravaganza of Duke Ianto the Suited of Torchwood!"
Author's Note: Written for the comment fic party over on Livejournal's tw-classic in celebration of our favorite Teaboy's birthday. Long live Ianto!
It wasn't the appearance of three rather rotund, hairy, orange aliens at his flat on his birthday that Ianto had trouble accepting, per se, as much as their insistence that they had a right to be there.
"We have arrived for the birthday extravaganza of Duke Ianto the Suited of Torchwood," announced the shortest and roundest of the three, who seemed to be the leader, upon forcing their way into Ianto's living room.
"I'm afraid I hadn't scheduled a birthday extravaganza," Ianto tried to tell them after he managed to drag his chin up from the floor.
"You are Ianto Jones, are you not?" asked one of the other orange creatures. This one sounded male, English and snobby.
"Well, yes," Ianto began.
"And this is August nineteenth, twenty-twenty-four, is it not?" continued the last orange creature. This one sounded female, English and snobby.
"I'm afraid it's August nineteenth, twenty-eleven."
Ianto waited for the trio to confer, wondering if he should be sneaking his mobile out to call Jack. He decided he could deal with the unexpected guests without calling in the team on his day off.
"I apologize for our miscalculation," the leader said politely. "But- we don't have enough fuel to make it to the correct date and return home, so what should we do with our present?"
"Present?" Ianto inquired.
"Indeed. A year's supply of the finest coffee beans that can be found in the Andromeda system."
"A year's supply, you said?" Ianto mused. "Which way to your ship?"