A/N: I do not own TMNT, I borrow simply for entertainment purposes
Hey guys! This is a little something I cooked up while working in the box office the past couple of days. I truly had that much time on my hands. People, y u no see movies? Anyway, I hope you all recognize the stereotypes I'm referring to and find them just as amusing and ironic as I have :)
I would've added this to my drabble series, but it definitely wouldn't have fit into 100 words and I couldn't see the point of expanding it over a few drabbles, so here it is.
As always, please enjoy
"Mikey?" Don began mildly when he found him using his computers. "What sort of trouble are you getting yourself into this time?"
"No trouble," Mikey replied, "just research."
"I'm almost afraid to ask," Donny muttered, coming up to stand behind his sibling. He rested a hand on the back of Mike's chair as he studied the image displayed on the monitor. "Why am I looking at a picture of a blond pretty boy?"
"It's me!" Mikey declared proudly.
"No, Mikey," Don began patiently, giving his brother a pointed look. "I am fairly certain that is not you."
"Well not literally," he conceded, "but theoretically it is!" Mikey tilted his head to see his brother more clearly. "See? He's got the blue eyes and everything and he's also got that whole surfer skateboarder kinda vibe going on. If I were human, I'd look like Luke Mitchell."
Donny snagged a second computer chair and sunk into it. Curiosity piqued, he figured he'd be there for awhile. "Would I be correct in assuming you've chosen human counterparts for all of us?"
"You betcha!" Mike chirped. "Who do you want to see first?" He asked eagerly.
"Surprise me," Don said, bracing himself for the craziness he was about to be subjugated to.
Mikey returned to the keyboard, typed furiously for about four seconds and then hit the 'Enter' button with more force than necessary purely for dramatic purposes. Looking smug, Mike leaned back in the chair when Pat Morita's picture appeared on the screen. "Mr. Miyagi. Heck... to... the yes."
Don cleared his throat to hide his chortles. "Subtle."
"Hold on, hold on," Mikey said, swallowing his own snickers. "See if you can guess who the next one is." He hunched over the keyboard, blocking the keys from view as he Googled the next actor.
Donny refrained from pointing out that the name could be seen in the Google toolbar on the screen, but decided to humor him anyway.
"Okay!" Mikey announced. "Name that brother!"
Don returned his gaze to the computer screen. "Steven Strait? From Sky High?"
"At least make it challenging, Mikey. That's obviously supposed to be Raph."
Mikey frowned. "It's obvious?"
"Tough guy attitude and scowling." Donny rubbed at his chin thoughtfully before a smile played across his face. "That's about as obvious as obvious gets."
"Oh, a wise guy eh?"
Don snorted, Mikey typed, and then Donny was looking at a picture of Andrew Garfield. A screenshot of him to be more precise.
Tilting his head to the side, Don was silent for a moment. "Sooooo, why I am I Spiderman?"
"Duuuuuuuuuude!" Mikey practically whined, propping his chin up on a hand, elbow on the armrest.
"What gave it away this time?"
"To be perfectly honest, I wasn't certain at first but the glasses sort of tipped me off. They're a rather blatant metaphor, Mikey, and I'll have you know my vision is perfectly fine. Book smarts don't always mean glasses you know."
"I didn't make the choice because he wears glasses, Donny. Well not entirely," he added when Don gave him a look. "Peter Parker is a scientist isn't he? Just like you. Plus he's smart and kicks butt. I'd have chosen Toby Maguire, but I think Andrew Garfield does you more justice."
"Um... thank you?"
"You're welcome! Hey, you ready to see who I've chosen for Leo?"
Don wove a hand casually toward the keyboard. "Type on."
And Mikey did.
Don gaped when the picture appeared onscreen. And then gaped some more. "Mikey," he said finally after a long, perplexed pause. "That man is Asian."
"Rick Yune," Mikey announced, "granted he's older than the others, I think, but imagine him a few years younger and I think it fits! And so what if he's Asian?"
"Why is he Asian?"
"Why not?" Mikey replied before regarding his brother with a suspicious look. "You got a problem with Asians?"
"Of course not!" Don sighed, offended he'd suggest such a thing.
"I dunno. Just seemed to work," Mikey jumped in with an explanation. "Pro'lly cuz Leo uses katana and gives off that whole 'super-serious-kick-butt-asian-martial-artist' kinda vibe."
Donny scrubbed a hand across his face, smothering a laugh behind his fingers.
"What's so funny?" Mikey pouted.
"He's Asian!" Don said, laughing outright by this point.
"And?" Mikey was getting really impatient by then.
"Mikey," Don started, slipping flawlessly into his calm, patient, teaching voice, "look at your choices. For Raph, you, and myself you've chosen actors of European and American descent, and for Leo, our brother, you've chosen a man of Asian descent. Korean to be exact."
"Yeeeaaaah..." Mikey said, urging Don to continue with his explanation.
Don paused for a thoughtful minute, and then an idea struck him. "Let me." Taking over the controls of the computer, he pulled up the pictures of all four actors. "Look. One of these things is not like others."
Donny could tell the second it dawned on his little brother.
"He gets it from Miyagi-Splinter!"
Shaking his head in amusement Don leaned back in the chair. "Might I make a few more points?"
"If I said no would you still make them anyway?" Mikey countered sulkily.
"Not if you don't want me to," Don said in all seriousness.
Taking in a deep breath and letting it out quickly through his nose, Mikey surrendered. "Go ahead."
"I can see where you're coming from in the choices you've made," Don began, "and I admire your creativity, but there are a few genetic factors you seem to have overlooked. Luke Mitchell isn't a bad place to start. You probably would be blond be it genetically or dyed, and all blue eyes and 'California Boy' . The one you've chosen for me isn't half bad either, but you have to look beyond the stereotypes of our personalities and characteristics. If you and I are American, then genetically Raph can't be Italian and Leo can't be Asian, we'd all have to be from the same country and have similar physical characteristics."
"Then Master Splinter is all wrong too."
Don hummed thoughtfully. "No, I think Mr. Miyagi is just fine. Sensei adopted us after all, and while rats are rats wherever they are, Master Splinter was born in Japan, so I'll give you this one."
"And because Mr, Miyagi is almost as awesome?"
"And because Mr. Miyagi is almost as awesome." Don agreed. "But since these are actors, let's pretend we're just casting them to play us. I think the choices you've chosen for myself and you are acceptable. Raph's is kind of a stretch...but the whole tall dark and brooding thing really doessuit him doesn't it?"
Mikey grinned. "Well Raph is the weird looking one out of all of us." He turned to study the pictures displayed on the computer screen. "So then we need a new Leo. Hey! How about Jake Gyllenhaal?"
Don raised an eye ridge and pushed the image of a cowboy to the back of his mind. The very back. "Jake Gyllenhaal?"
"Well yeah. If he had brown eyes instead of blue, and was a bit younger. But why not? He was pretty cool in Prince of Persia. Had that whole leader, honorable thing going for him, even carried a sword on his back."
Don reached over and playfully tugged on the tails of Mikey's mask. "Jake Gyllenhaal it is."
"I think I'm happier being a turtle."
Don smiled warmly. "Me too. Now go find some mischief elsewhere, I need to get some work done."
"Okay," Mikey agreed happily, hopping up from the chair.
"I suppose I should be thankful you didn't decide to find female counterparts for us as well." Don tensed, regretting the words immediately.
"Liiiiiiight buuuuuulb," Mikey said with a plotting grin.
Donny hid his eyes behind his hand. "I should not have said that."
A/N: So how many of you googled the actors as you read? Be honest now! And if you want to know the specific images I was looking at when I wrote this, lemme know and I'll direct you to them. Thanks for reading!