I had seen him flirt and kiss others before but it never seemed to feel any better each time, I should be used to this I mean it was practically clockwork it had become so customary; the questions and pity looks never failed to prove the point.

"Are you and Itachi, like an item?"

"Why do you let him treat you like that?"

"Man, Itachi scored again tonight, oh shit I'm sorry man I didn't notice you there"

"Why do you let me cheat on you?"

"Where'd those bruises come from?"

"You look like shit, rough sex?"

"Doesn't he love you?"

I had become an expert and making excuses and lies; lucky I was a good liar but pity I wasn't that good I could fool myself. My gut wrenched and I smile and say "Oh nah we're not together it's just a casual on and off thing, yeah" or "Oh I tripped over the coffee table after I'd had a few drinks, un" brush it off like it was no biggie; lying to other's was a piece of cake compared to telling yourself.

That was like swallowing the whole cake.

I swallowed the rest of my vile drink before I excused myself to leave, I'd had enough for one night as I said my goodbyes and gave my final excuses for the night. I disappeared into the crowds towards the entrance hoping I didn't catch his eye on the way out, how foolish was I, nothing got past him.

The cold air was frosty as I staggered out onto the curb in hopes to catch a cab, which would be a considerable wait for this time of the morning. I sighed shivering a little, tonight wasn't too bad of a night; Itachi ignored me for the better part and I didn't get too hammered; I would be functional in the morning.

A high pitched voice sounded from behind me, a high pitched giggly one, I didn't have to turn to know it was him and his bimbo for the night; I sucked up the emotions that propelled in my chest as the pair wondered beside me. "Oh you are so handsome" the blonde tart breathed all over his face, kissing a sloppy trail down his cheek and neck.

I knew he hated it but he allowed it to happen for the satisfaction is given to watch my heartbreak.

She was making it easy to presume that they were a girlfriend and boyfriend; at least that is what she was going for. What a story to add to her notch belt, "I fucked Uchiha Itachi" ha and so did every other girl that flashed him a bit of tits or slip of underwear.

I shifted uncomfortably as I miserably tried to hide the hurt and humiliation he was pushing on me, he smirked at the change in my mood. He gripped her chin and shoved his tongue in her mouth; I looked away bravely ignoring the disgusting moans coming from beside me.

A bright yellow cab pulled up before me and I scurried for the door only to be followed by him, I squished myself up against the door when he slide in that leech sticking to his side like a parasite. He purposely pushed himself right up against me, thigh to thigh.

I muttered the address to the middle aged cab driver as he sped of f down the street, I did not live far but I knew Itachi would come back to mine with his catch for the night because he was a hurtful bastard and liked to see me sink farther and farther to the bottom of the already rock bottom life I lived.

Itachi proceeded to shove his tongue down her throat in a heart wrenching way, but he even went that step further as to cup my dick through my jeans while he tongue fucked that slut. I wanted to just cry but I was better than that, I pushed his hand away and pushed myself closer to the door.

But Itachi was just that cruel he pushed my legs apart with one hand, still throat deep in her mouth and continued to palm my jeans; I bite my tongue and sucked up the humiliation and embarrassment I felt from the erection forming from his hand.

Fate smiled on me tonight and the cab pulled up alongside the curb, I pushed his hand away and fished out the correct change as they climbed/staggered out the door; I handed the driver the correct change $54.95 and followed suit.

They had already headed upstairs and I walked in a slower pace, I didn't want anything more to do with that man again tonight not to mention my jeans ached from his hurtful pressure, defeated and utterly down and out, I headed for my room.

Clothing litter my living room as I entered, I ignored it as best as I could heading for just the bedroom, I want nothing more than to sleep off another night of hurt.

Fuck I am sick of feeling sorry and sad for myself, I need to keep my hopes up high and wish for the best.

"You're so pathetic Deidara, yeah" I muttered to myself as I shut the front door, locking it.

What for I didn't know, the monster was already inside.

Itachi was better than this, I knew him to be; in those rare peacefully moments when it was just me and him and there was nobody else he was perfect but even perfection is not fool proof. He had become an arrogant, manipulative bastard hell bent on getting his satisfaction off causing me pain and hurt.

And I was the fool who continued to put up with it.

My room was colder and emptier than usually but I ignored that and stripped down, I wanted to sleep the night off forget it all and hope the next day would be better than the last; my bed was cold and distant but I welcomed it none the less.

Tonight I was glad for the thick walls and howling of wind outside, I did not hear fucking thing.

•••

Hot pressure erupted in the pit of my stomach as my mind whirled into reality, it was dark and I could feel someone's cold hand gripping my dick; I knew it was Itachi's already; I'd know him anywhere. I rocked slowly back forth into his hand as he lay behind me, his hot breath breathing against the hair on the back of my neck burning the skin there.

I let out a low gut moan as he bite my earlobe, "Where's your slut, un?" I choked out as he squeezed roughly.

"Kicked her out, she was good" He grinned half assed at the hurt I now had; He knew how hurtful the things he said were.

He pulled roughly and my eyes rolled back, I was a fucking idiot but when it came to his touch I was a mess of nothing but moans and agreements.

"I saw the dirty looks you've been giving me all night Dei, were you envious He whispered biting my neck I felt sick because all I could do was moan in agreement.

He smirked and flipped me onto my back; I whined at the loss but soon got over it as he sat astride my hips in a provocative fashion. He rocked himself back and forth in lazy motions as I gripped the sheets in a death grip, I was so stupid.

Tonight was another fucking night I would give into him and he would fuck me senseless into the mattress making me a pile of humiliated whorishness.

"Fucking remember this Dei, if this world ignited into flames you will be right by my side because you belong to me Deidara."

"Hai Itachi."