Bureaucracy expanding to meet its expanding needs


"Oh, phooey," said Buffy, her plans foiled by Morpheus. "And we don't have time to go look for Ethan either."

"Uh-um. W-we could go look for him," suggested Tara. Willow smiled and took a hold of her girlfriend's hand.

"That could work, Buffy," Dawn said. "I mean, we've got stuff we need to do."

"And we know Ethan pretty well. I'll know what kind of things he likes to do," prompted Willow. Buffy deflated.

"…okay…I wanted to skip out on paperwork, but I'll let you go instead," the Slayer said.

"Come on Tara, let's go hunting chaos mages," Willow said, pulling her girlfriend into the elevator. Tara grinned and waved to the Summers sisters as the elevator doors shut.

"I'll go get our paperwork," said Dawn. She rushed into the room and soon came back with a large bag of papers that contained immense proof of Joyce's identity and the identity of her two daughters. Donald Gennaro had told them it would be necessary in order to gain their inheritance. "I think we need Slayer Strength for this one."

Buffy sighed and took the heavy bag from her sister. It wasn't that bad for her, but she sighed at the indignity of it all. Crap, she was feeling like a high schooler again.


This time when they got to the government building, Buffy was not carrying weapons, but they still searched her overly thoroughly and only found five knives and Mr. Pointy. The guard had sighed, taken the knives, returned the stake to her and let her continue on. A guard offered to help Buffy with her bag. She let him carry it, not even considering that he might find it odd that she was hefting it just slung over one shoulder.

Eventually the Summers girls were brought to a couple of rooms. Buffy was informed that she would be asked a series of questions and Dawn would too. After some wrangling, they had convinced the officials that Dawn, as she was still underage, could have Buffy in the room with her. Buffy chose to go first.

Her questioner was a middle aged Hispanic man who, though he had an accent, was still perfectly clear when he spoke English. He clicked a mechanical pen and pulled out a sheet of paper that had some sort of heading written in Spanish. Buffy, knowing about as much Spanish as she did Chaos Theory, had no idea what it said. It occurred to her that a translator might be in order.

"So, please state your name for the record," the man said.

"Buffy Summers," she replied.

"And what is your connection to John Hammond?" he asked next.

"He's supposed to be my grandfather, but if he isn't do I still have to be here?" Buffy countered.

"Yes."

"Crap." He gave her a strange look and then jotted something down on the paper.

"So what is your connection to the InGen Corporation?"

"None yet except grampy owned it or part of it, or founded it or something. I don't really know."

"You don't know?"

"Nope." Buffy answered cheerfully. "Can Dawn and I go now? Well, I know we can, but I suppose I should say may we go?"

"No." He answered quickly without looking up from the paper. "Are you aware of the events on Isla Nublar?"

"Only second hand. Ellie told me last night," Buffy said. He looked rather upset at that. "Was she not supposed to?"

"Why are you here?"

"Well, rumor has it that mom was supposed to inherit something from John Hammond and since she recently died, I'm here to get it for me and Dawnie; I don't know really what it is, but if it's money or things that can be sold for money it's either this or the Doublemeat Palace," Buffy said. She glanced at the doughnuts on the table. "Can I have one?"

"Yes," the man said, still not looking up from the paper as he wrote.

"I didn't even know you had doughnuts in Costa Rica because I thought that it was pretty much US stuff, but I guess that's not all true since you have them down here which is kinda strange considering they're something that isn't all too common even in the states to have homemade doughnuts that aren't made in a factory somewhere, which I suppose means that they aren't really homemade because-"

"Are you aware of any other events involving the aberrant forms that have been seen roaming the hills?" The investigator asked, ignoring the massive run-on sentence Buffy had just spewed out. Even her best Valley Girl was failing to work on this guy.

"Abby-who?"

"Aberrant forms."

"Oh, are you talking about dinosaurs?"

"Yes."

"Then why don't you call them that? It's about as stupid as a certain government agency that I'm not supposed to talk about, I'll shut up now," Buffy said, pantomiming buttoning her mouth.

"Thank you." The man glanced through his notes again and went to the door. "Dawn Summers, please."

Dawn walked in and sat down next to Buffy. The man asked her the same questions and Dawn gave very similar answers in her own style. The man gave no indication of whether he was satisfied or not. He simply stood up and opened the door. "You may go."

Dawn looked at Buffy clearly confused. Buffy shrugged and walked out.