"Oh man, I could really go for some new stilettos right now."
"Perhaps you could get ones that feel as if Mother Nature is slowly massaging your worries away..."
"...Yeah, or that too."
Stacy and Jenny were doing their usual Saturday afternoon window shopping in downtown Danville, minus their eccentric redhead friend, Candace. Both of the girls had been unable to get a hold of her, their numerous calls going straight to her voice mail. It was unusual for either of them to not be in touch for more than a few hours, although Stacy wasn't worried.
"I'm sure she's just relaxing today, Jen. We did have a big day yesterday. Lots of stuff going on," Stacy said, eyeing another pair of shoes in the window.
"Yes, but that's the problem; what was going on?" Jenny asked.
Stacy did not reply, feigning more interest in the pumps. To tell the truth, she had no idea what had happened either. Most of her friends had woken up that morning feeling extremely tired; not even Candace's little brothers, Phineas and Ferb, were exempt. They had slept in until about ten in the morning, according to Linda (something they hadn't done in a very long time). She had stayed in her bed a little longer than normal herself, confused as to why her energy had felt drained.
And that was the worst part; she couldn't even begin to fathom what had transpired. She couldn't remember doing anything especially strenuous yesterday. In fact, she thought as Jenny walked over to the next window, she couldn't remember anything about yesterday at all. It was as if a fairy had just plucked all of the memories of her mind.
Then again, perhaps she was worrying too much. Nothing weird had been on the morning news. Nothing out of the ordinary was said by her mother or her little sister at breakfast. Everyone was a little bit worn out, just like her, but still. It wasn't as if there had been a giant robot running through downtown.
"Hey, look over here, Stacy!"
The Asian teen walked over to her friend, peering into the window that Jenny was at. She could see several teenagers inside the small dojo-like room, being instructed by a teacher wielding what seemed like a bamboo shoot.
"Oh, I know what this is! It's Bōjutsu," Stacy said. "My uncle has his own little studio back in Tokyo. He tried teaching me some stuff when I was young, but I almost ended up poking Ginger's eye out." She glanced at the students, trying to remember her uncle's tips on staff rotations. "This just looks like a beginner class, though; they're mostly just twirling."
Jenny stared as the students were twisting their bōs, trying to build momentum. "Their moves are so graceful, it's as if the wind is gently guiding their movements in a way that only-"
"Well, I don't think Candace would understand; I was more or less thinking of-"
"No, Jen!" Stacy shouted, pointed toward the back of the room. "There's Candace!"
Indeed, the redhead was positioned near the back wall, lazily weaving her staff through her fingers as if she had done it all her life. Her white keikogi was drenched in sweat, sticking to her body in various spots. None of this apparently seemed to bother her, as she had a somewhat knowing grin on her face.
Stacy and Jenny turned toward each other, their surprised looks completely synchronized. Without a word, they sprinted toward the door, entering the shop just as the teacher was speaking to the class.
"All right, guys, that will be enough for today. Take your bō home and practice your rotations. Next time, we'll engage in some light sparring." The woman pointed her own staff at a brunette boy on her right. "Oh, and Billy, you might want to invest in a football helmet. I don't think I've seen one person hit his head so much with his own stick. Class dismissed."
"Hey, Candy," Stacy yelled, waving her hand at her best friend. Candace, standing over her duffel bag, turned around. She waved back at the two girls as they walked up to her.
"Hey guys, what are you doing here?"
"Well, we were about to ask you the same question, Candace," Jenny replied. "You never answered our phone calls."
"Oh, right. Sorry about that," Candace said sheepishly. "The teacher is a little strict about having phones out during her practice. I had to put it in my bag. You should see the girl whose phone rang during the first five minutes."
She pointed toward the front door, and her friends turned to see a blonde teen walking out, a noticeable limp in her stride.
"Yeah...apparently she doesn't like being interrupted. I don't think I've seen an entire group move that fast to put their phones away."
"That's fine, Candace," Stacy said. "It's just that we really didn't expect you to be here, of all places."
Her best friend sighed, leaning on her staff for support. "Yeah, neither did I. But I woke up this morning and I was all bummed out from yesterday, and I felt like I needed something do. You know, besides try to bust my brothers. Dad told me about this class going on today, and I just decided to do it.
"By the way," she said, narrowing her eyes in thought, "What did we do yesterday?"
Stacy and Jenny shrugged in unison.
"Yeah, I don't know either, but whatever it was, it felt like a ton of bricks hit me. I needed something to get some energy back. This seemed like the perfect thing."
"That's all well and good, Candace, but why this? Why Bōjutsu?"
Candace looked down, holding her staff in her open palms. "You're gonna think it's weird."
Jenny put a hand on her shoulder. "It's not weird, Candace, it's just...we've never seen this side of you before."
The redhead frowned slightly, eyes still on her staff. "...I know this stuff already."
Stacy raised an eyebrow at her friend. "You mean, you've taken this class before?"
"No, not that. It seems like...I knew how to do this from the beginning."
Her friends said nothing, still confused about her statement.
"Yeah, I told you it would be weird. It's like...I already know how to do this. I mean, I can twirl pretty well, and do striking and things like that. The teacher said I was a natural. She said she hasn't seen someone that good with so little training in years. It kind of freaks me out a little bit."
"Awww, Candy," Stacy said, half-hugging Candace. "But this is a cool thing to know how to do. Just imagine what you can do with this."
"Yeah, like what?"
"You could beat off all of the girls who flirt with Jeremy."
At the mention of her boyfriend, Candace's demeanor perked up considerably. "I suppose there's that."
"You could also fend off all of the bullies that your brothers are gonna get in high school," Jenny added.
"Pffft," Candace scoffed. "Like they need me to fend them off. They're pretty capable on their own."
Stacy was taken aback by her words. "Wow, Candace, that's...surprising big sister-like, coming from you."
"I know, right? It's crazy. I think I'm going insane."
"As long as you don't go insane with that bō, I think we'll be fine."
Candace grinned. "I don't know, Stacy, I may have to sneak behind you and CHOP ya!" She swung her staff downward in the Asian's direction for emphasis.
Stacy laughed, glad her friend was back to normal. "Although we're going to have to talk about this staff of yours."
"Well, for one, it doesn't match any of your normal clothes. Wouldn't you want a pink staff?"
"I don't know; I think that would be a serious fashion 'bō'-pas."
The sounds of a rimshot filled the air, and Stacy and Candace were confused by the whereabouts of the noise. They simultaneously faced Jenny, who was rifling through her phone. She looked up, seeing her two friends giving her a once-over.
"Sorry. Drummond just sent me a text."
Stacy stared at Jenny for a moment, and then turned back to Candace. "Really? That's what you're going to go with?"
"What are you talking about?"
"There are much better bō-related puns out there, girl. Like...'bō and arrow' or...'Little Bō Peep' or something like that."
Candace let out a small chuckle. "Stacy, please. I think I've outgrown making horrible puns."
"...Then what was that?"
"It was a good one. It was relevant. It was very...apro-'bō'."
A second rimshot rang out, and both Stacy and Candace whirled back around at Jenny, who was now utterly confused at her friends' expressions.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I am so sorry, Internet, for those horrible puns.
Figured I would get out my standard "What happened after the movie?" fic that wasn't a "Everyone mysteriously gets their memories back" because...well, they're not getting their memories back. Hate to break it to you. Also, I think giving the spotlight to someone other than Phineas and Ferb was necessary, because Candace had just as much happen to her during the movie. No better way to do that than focus on her counterpart's ability to kick ass.
As for the identity of Drummond...just think about it for a sec. It'll come to you.
Read and review, if you like. Until next time.