Disclaimer- I don't own Twilight.

MMHMM. That's right. Another one.

I was really bored during work today… I never seem to do any work here.


"Isabella Marie Swan!" he shouted at me, "How could you let your grades slip like this!"

Obviously, he was overreacting. I had great grades. It was a grade he was worrying about. One. Uno. Un. Ena. Anyways, you get the picture.

So I had a D in Biology… I had A's in all my other classes and my dad was just getting all father-y on me. See, my dad had an obsession with grades. It was like that one guy in My Big Fat Greek Wedding who loved Windex so much. My dad loved grades.

"I'm sorry," I said without meaning. I enjoyed Biology, but I spent all of the time we got to use in class ogling Edward. Yeah, very teenage girlish of me, but what can you do? Focus on science with a hunk of eye candy two feet away? Not likely…

"I'm sorry too, which is why if you don't get that Biology grade up by next month, then I'm not going to let you go on that trip to France with your French class this summer!"

My jaw dropped and I sure as hell was listening now.

"What the hell, dad? It's just one grade!"

He glared at me, "Which is why it should be easy for you to get it to a B."

And that's how I got an STD.


"Um… Mr. Banner? Can I talk to you about something?" I asked him at the beginning of class. This put me out because I was wasting precious ogling time.

He sighed, looking up from his boring book, "Yes, Isabella? What do you want?"

"Yeah, I need to get my Biology grade up to a B by next month…"

He gave a small laugh, and talked loudly in that annoying way teachers did so that everyone in the entire room could hear. Including Edward. "Isabella, you currently maintain a D in this class. The only way to raise that to a B is to write me a thirty page paper- single spaced- on the STD of my choice."

Fuck, that sounded like a lot of work. France… France… do it for France!

"Okay, I'll do it."

"Alright, and since I know how you like to use your class time, I'll be assigning someone in this class to watch you," what the fuck did he think I was? "-so that you don't goof off. You'll meet with him four times a week for two hours each at the library."

He looked down at his book again, giving me a silent dismissal. I walked back to my seat, embarrassed that everyone knew of my academic failure.

"Oh, and Isabella?" he projected his voice again and I winced, "I've given you Gonorrhea."

I heard a few people around me snicker and I winced, burying my head in my hands.

Now thirty people thought I had Gonorrhea.

From my teacher.



I got to the library at ten o' clock, just like Mr. Banner instructed me to, and I walked towards the librarian.

"Hey, do you guys have a section for Gonorrhea and STD's?" I asked.

She automatically crossed her legs and gave me a disgusted look, pointing to the back of the library.

"Uh… my teacher gave it to me," I offered as an explanation.

I groaned when I realized that didn't help my case, "As an assignment," I finished off, but by this point she already had it drilled into her head that I was a slutty student.

The tally is up to thirty-one people who think I have Gonorrhea. Yay.

I just hung my head and walked towards the back of the library, looking around to see if my babysitter had gotten here yet. I didn't know who he was, but I was hoping it wasn't Newton.

While I waited for him, I decided to browse the aisles for any informative books.

Gonorrhea and You, Coping Mechanisms.

True Stories about Gonorrhea Sufferers.

Gonorrhea Prevention Ideas.

Gonorrhea for Kids!

On the cover of the last book, there was a smiling child, "Jesus, what's wrong with this library…"

I heard a deep chuckle from behind me, "I agree, it's more than slightly worrisome that someone wrote a book about STD's for children, but I am glad to hear that Banner never actually gave you Gonorrhea."

I whirled around and clumsily dropped all of the books, squealing, when I saw it was Edward.

Fan-fucking-tastic. Now I just made a fool out of myself in front of my crush, who is also my babysitter and will be conversing with me about all the downsides to sex and not the other way around.

This was just not my week… but on the upside, the tally is back down to thirty.

He chuckled again and helped me pick up the books and grabbed a few off of the shelves himself.

"You scared the shit out of me!" I accused him as we walked towards a table.

He snickered and apologized. We began skimming through the books and taking notes.

Correction… he began taking notes while I was half focused on the work and half focused on Edward. Edward's lips, Edward's neck, Edward's hair, Edward's cock… my mouth on Edward's cock…

After about an hour, he looked up and winced, "Okay, so now that we have all of this… lovely information, I'll read off my notes and you can read off yours, okay?"

I nodded and he started talking, but all I could hear was, "Sex…sex…sex…sex…sex…" all of the unimportant words in between went in one ear and out the other.

"Bella? Did you hear me?" he asked.

"Hmm? Oh, yeah, of course."

"What did I say?" he asked, unconvinced.


"Thought so. What I was asking was what you wanted to start with."

I'd like to start with you letting me suck you off.

But since I'm a lady, that isn't how I answer.

"We could start writing the rough draft?"

He nodded, "Okay." He started spouting off all of the bad things about Gonorrhea- and we all know there's a lot- and I winced.

"Bella, you listening?"

I sighed, "Yeah, but this is just nasty."

"I agree, but there's good things about sex too, just remember those," he said with a wink.

Yeah? You want to tell me all of them while fucking my mouth?

But I don't say that… entirely… I just hint at it a little, "I'm starting to forget most of those things," I bit down on my bottom lip.

He licked his lips and leaned forward, "Maybe I could help you remember th-"

"Ew! Mommy, look at those books!" Edward and I both looked to see a little boy pointing to the lovely visual aids in our books. The mother glared at us and pulled her child away.

Great. The tally is back up to thirty-two.

Edward flushed and sat back in his chair, picking up his things, "I better get going… same time tomorrow?"

All I could do was nod as I watched him leave.

I blushed as I picked up the start of my draft and our books, going to check them out. I groaned when I saw that the same librarian was here, setting my books on the counter. I got several looks from people surrounding me-including the librarian.


I grumbled when I realized I didn't have any bags, so I'd have to carry all these back to my car in the view of everyone.

This really wasn't my week…


I got to the library at nine o' clock- one hour early- the next day. I decided that if I wanted to go to France, I'd actually have to do some work, so I had an hour of distraction free time. I even brought three big bags for the books so that I wouldn't have to suffer through that particular public humiliation again. I actually got through six full pages when Edward got there.

"Got here early?" he asked.

"No… not too early, only about ten minutes ago."

He looked over my work and then quirked an eyebrow at me, "You did this in ten minutes," he obviously didn't believe me, but let it go.

He offered me a few suggestions on my work and then we wrote another page together before he spoke again.

"I was looking over your grades-"

"What the fuck," I cut him off, "Are you even allowed to do that?" I asked.

He chuckled, "I wanted to know why you were doing all of this extra credit work. A D? Really? Is Biology just a really weak subject for you? You have A's in all of your other classes."

No, I actually like Biology a lot. The only problem is the amount of time I spend thinking about all the possible ways you could fuck me on one of the desks.

"That class is a big… distraction… for me."

"Why?" he asked curiously.

Because you're a fuck-hot piece of man meat.

"Um… it's right before lunch and I get hungry?" I said it more like a question, but he left it alone.

Again, my lying skills have failed me and he seemed to see right through me. Instead of pursuing the real answer, he chose to write some new information we found in my essay.


I glared at the person who dared to interrupt our non-date by accusing me of having Gonorrhea.

There was a guy about our age, looking over my shoulder and onto the books. Edward quirked his eyebrow at him and I groaned.

The teenage guy wrinkled his nose and walked away from me.

Grand. Thirty-eight.

Edward and I resumed working, but every once in a while he'd glance up at me, a satisfied look on his face.


Since it was Monday, Edward and I weren't studying until four o' clock. I'd already been at school for two periods, and I'd gotten several weird looks from people who'd been there to witness the GI (Gonorrhea Incident).

My day went by very slowly. That is… until third period. I like to call it ogling period.

Edward actually smiled at me when I walked in the room and it made me smile like an idiot. When our daily work was assigned, Edward came up to me.

"Do you need any help?" aw, fuck. Now he probably thought I was stupid because I had such a bad grade in this class.

No, I don't need any help… with school work that is…

I laughed, "Sure," I said, taking the chance to just have him near me. He sat down and started explaining the assignment that I already knew how to do, staring at all of his features.

My hands twitched as I looked at his hair… his sex hair.

My daily assessment was interrupted by Mr. Sex Devil.

He sighed, "Are you even paying attention to me?"

Oh, I swear I'm paying attention to you.

"Of course I'm paying attention to you," I said, because it was true, I was paying attention to him… just not to what he was saying.

He sighed, but kept talking, trying to teach me something I already knew. He's so cute…


"Did you do your Biology homework today?" Edward asked me when we got to the library. We decided to just ride together in his car, but that didn't end well since I kept thinking about fucking him in his car.

I shook my head, "No."

He looked exasperated when I proceeded to explain our assignment in impressive detail.

He blinked, "So you get it… why don't you do the assignments?"

"I'm distracted, I told you."

He grumbled, "Remind me never to get between you and food, you have a large attachment."

Actually… I wouldn't mind you getting between me and my food… literally.

We took our usual spot in the library and resumed working, and we actually ended up getting through twenty pages of the essay. We were both out of it.

God, you're gorgeous… please fuck my mouth… I let my thoughts get carried away, we already did so much work today, I owe it to myself.

My Edward filled musings were interrupted by the sex devil himself and he looked up at me slowly, a wide grin on his face and amusement dancing in his eyes.

"Excuse me?" he asked.

"Uh… what?" I said.

"Do you have any idea what you just said?" he asked, his voice deeper than it was a few moments ago.

"I didn't say anything…"

He laughed and licked his lips, putting his pencil down and looking at me oddly, "What exactly are you hungry for during Biology?" he asked.

Your lips on every part of my body…

I blushed, not really sure how to answer that. What did he think I said? There was a playful look in his eye.

But then it dawned on me. His words and actions… me… oh, shit.

I was talking out my thoughts.

"Holy fuck!" I shouted at the top of my lungs, but then shot an apologetic glance to everyone else in the library.

"Shit," I hissed, feeling a blush rise to my cheeks, "Did I seriously say that out loud?" I groaned and banged my head against the table. "You know what, I have to leave. I'm such a dork. Sorry, I'll uh, ask Mr. Banner for another 'babysitter' because now I've ruined everything by telling you that basically all I've wanted for the past few months is your cock in my mouth and God, I really need to shut up! Uh… bye," I said before picking up my belongings and running out of that library like I was on fire.


Do you remember Fast Times at Ridgemont High? Phoebe Cates is a goddess. An amazing, sexy, beautiful goddess.

I, on the other hand, am as awkward and filter-less as Betty in Ugly Betty.

I mean, would Phoebe Cates tell someone that she wanted to suck their dick?

Well… maybe, but she would do something different afterwards than run away.

Anyway, enough self esteem destroying with thoughts of a topless Phoebe.

The thing was, the Gonorrhea Giver (Mr. Banner) wasn't answering any of his emails and my next study session was going to be in thirty minutes. I'm no fucking Phoebe, man, I can't do that.

I was pacing in my room, debating whether or not I was going to have the guts to show up today. Would he even be there? God, he probably reported me to the police!

And that sucks, because my dad is the chief of police. That would be an awkward conversation.

"Hey, dad, I have charges pressed on me because I'm a shameless hussy that begged to give oral sex to the reason I'm failing Biology."

Yeah, that's not going to happen.

I decided that since I'm not Ms. Cates, I wouldn't go to the library today. The awkward-ness was going over in my head right now.

"Oh… um… hey, Bella."

"Hey Edward, how was your night?"

Awkward pause.

"Um… I think we should talk about what happened yesterday."

And at that moment, I magically turned into Phoebe Cates in a tiny red bathing suit and we lived happily ever after.

I wish.

At that moment, a knock on the door interrupted my inner musings. Maybe it was the cast of High School Musical to come join my pity party because they too have many failures.

But sadly, it wasn't the pathetic cast of High School Musical coming to Forks to feel sorry for themselves. It was the owner of my Dream Cock that I begged to suck on like a lollipop.

Oh, embarrassing.

I felt the universe curl up on a couch with a bag of popcorn and laugh at my misfortune.

The owner of the Cullen Cocksicle looked at me with even eyes and crossed his arms as he looked down at my attire.

Damn, I wasn't wearing pants. Only a pair of underwear that said 'I take it in the back' and a tank top.

The universe laughed.

So did Edward Cullen.

I groaned, "What do you want?" I asked, blushing.

"Well," he said with an amused tone, "- I came by to make sure you weren't going to bail on me today, which by the looks of you, you were."

I groaned, "Can you blame me? Would you commit social suicide by showing up to see someone whose dick you just begged to suck on? Wow, I need a filter."

He chuckled and bit down on his lip, setting his backpack on my counter.

Did I invite you to come in, bitch?

The universe laughed evilly.

"I wanted to-"

He started to talk, but I cut him off, "Nope, it's okay. Don't speak, please. I already know what you're going to say. 'We can be friends, but I don't like you that way, and I don't date girls who drop hints like 'Let me suck you off''. See how I already knew that?"

He rolled his eyes, "Bella, I-"

"It's fine, don't worry about it."

"Goddamn, Bella, listen to me!"

I was silent and I blushed. He stalked up to me and lifted my chin so that I would have to look him in the eyes.

I chewed on my lip and waited for him to humiliate me.

He didn't.

He didn't do anything.

"Well?" he finally said with a quirked eyebrow.

I gulped, "Well what?"

He leaned back on his elbows on my kitchen counter, "I distinctly remember you begging me to let you give me a blow job."

His blatant words sent a rush of desire through me, and I looked at him in shock, "You'd… let me do that?"

He smirked at me, "Yes. I would. I'm just surprised you'd want to. Most women hate sucking dick."

I had to grab onto the counter, "I usually don't, but all I've wanted to do since I met you was suck you off."

He grinned at me, "Who's stopping you?"

No one. At this revelation, I moaned aloud at the thought of all of my fantasies coming true. He grinned and grabbed the back of my neck and crushed me to him, capturing my lips in a domineering kiss. I shivered at the feel of him all over me and backed up about a foot to gather both my breath and my thoughts. Should I…?

He smirked, reading my thoughts, and nodded slowly, leaning back against the counter.

I grinned and sank to the ground, eyeing the bulge in his jeans with hungry eyes.

I unzipped his jeans and let them fall at his feet, and I felt a throbbing in between my legs as I looked at him through his briefs. Not wanting to wait anymore, I tugged them down, letting them join his jeans at his feet.

A loud, audible moan escaped me when I finally looked at him.

"Damn, you're big."

I licked my lips and gripped his base with my hand, blowing on him lightly.

He groaned, and fisted his hands in my long hair, forcing my mouth on him.

I moaned around his head and swirled my tongue around him in appreciation for what he was letting me do, and I angled my mouth so that I could deep throat him. I reached my hands around to his ass to use it as leverage to pull myself forward and back. He groaned out my name and massaged my scalp.

I think he liked what I was doing almost as much as I liked doing it. I rolled his balls around in my hand and moaned around him. He set the pace now, moving my head back and forth and making sounds that went straight to my pussy.

With that hand that wasn't fondling his balls, I reached down and unzipped my jeans and slipping my hand inside.

I whimpered around his dick as I pleasured myself, unintentionally tightening my grip on his balls a little bit.

"Shit, baby," he said in a deep voice I didn't recognize as his, "-are you… are you touching yourself?"

Since I couldn't really nod in my position, I moaned my assent and he shivered, pulling on my hair and pumping into my mouth more sporadically.

I screamed around his cock when I made myself cum, and the vibrations coming from my mouth made him follow my lead soon after.

I felt him roughly pull me up from my position on the floor and I groaned in protest. His dick in my mouth was perfect.

He smashed his lips against mine and thrust his tongue into my mouth, pulling me impossibly close to him, "Goddamn… that's the best blow job I've ever had."

I gulped when he started kissing down my neck, "That's the best cock I've ever had."

He smirked, "So, back to the project…"