DISCLAIMERS: JLU characters and representations are property of Bruce Timm, Warner Brothers, and DC Comics. BtVS is property of Joss Whedon, FOX, and Dark Horse.

Notes: Okay, couple things. Anytime the DC characters aren't in costume, the story refers to them by their actual name. Anytime they are, the story refers to their superhero name.

If you haven't read the Buffy Season 8 comics, it's just important to know that since the show ended, Buffy has a widespread army of over 1800 slayers that she and Willow activated all over the world. In order to support them, Buffy and a group of slayers robbed a Swiss Bank for funding. At the time this story starts, Willow and Buffy are coming back from a mission in which Willow has learned this, and she doesn't like it.

Also, there's this mysterious guy who dresses like a supervillain that-along with the U.S. government-is after Buffy and her army. Buffy and the gang don't know anything about him yet, but Buffy thinks his symbol resembles "a beautiful sunset."

Hope you like! I started this a long time ago, and got through four "issues." Then I stopped for a while, because I got stuck. I just finished issue five tonight. I'll be posting them all. Still isn't done. :-)

Issue One

{Scene: SCOTLAND SLAYER HQ, OUTSIDE TRAINING GROUNDS. Buffy stands beside Willow, the portal her friend had opened just about closing behind them.}

BUFFY'S THOUGHT: At least I didn't eat anything before we left. At least there wasn't FLYING. Again.

{She looks at Willow, who's looking not at her. Awkward.}

BUFFY: You hate me.

{Willow's still not looking at her. In fact, her eyes are somewhat wide. Buffy doesn't notice.}

BUFFY: Okay, I'd hate me, too. If I didn't know the whole...whole. And you don't know. How not easy it was. 'Cause you weren't here, helping with. But it's done and I'm not gonna apologize, and why didn't you say anything?

WILLOW {dumbstruck}: Holy cowl.

{Buffy turns, and a smile begins to spread over her face as she finally sees BATGIRL there.}

BUFFY: Barbara, hey!

{They hug like friends, unaware of the jealousy on Willow's face.}

BUFFY {hopeful, but nervous}: Who flew?


{The giant teenager's laughter reaches them, and rings loud like church bells.}

BATGIRL {smirking}: Guess.

{They all walk around to where the stream is, though Willow keeps her distance, and then there sits Dawn, SUPERGIRL perched on her shoulder, giggling.}

DAWN: She was such a 'ho!


{Buffy and Batgirl crane their necks.}

BUFFY: Repeat nothing of what my sister says to your cousin, Kara.

SUPERGIRL {waving}: Oh hi, Buffy! Relax, Clark has "Super Denial," too.

{On the ground, something appears to dawn on Batgirl. Pun unintentional.}

BATGIRL: Almost forgot...

{Her tone makes Buffy wary.}

BATGIRL {grinning}: ...Xander says I wasn't the only one up, up and away. Boy, is Diana not gonna believe it when I tell her.

{Willow joins them, and doesn't miss the blonde slayer's blush.}

BUFFY: I had exactly choice none...at all. It was completely mission-related, and completely under protest. And if you do, I don't care who your boss is, I'm kicking your bat-

WILLOW: What the hecate is going on! They aren't real!

{Her outburst gets everyone's attention. Supergirl looks offended.}

WILLOW: I know! I'm concussed, right? Buffy, am I concussed?

BUFFY: No concussion, I promise. All real. Um, it's kind of a...well, short story, actually. The way I tell it.

WILLOW: Eve-even the part where my lesbidar booped and beeped a-and says you might be dating Wond-?

BUFFY {semi-annoyed}: Her name's Diana.

{Then the nervousness is back. Her hand rubs the back of her head.}

BUFFY: And um, wow, great "Dar" there, Will.

{Scene: THREE MONTHS AGO, WATCHTOWER CONFERENCE ROOM. Around the table sits WONDER WOMAN, SUPERMAN, HAWKGIRL, GREEN LANTERN, BATMAN, an empty chair, Buffy, and finally an agape, star struck Xander.}

{Obviously, he's there as Buffy's translator. Duh. Her foot kicks him under the table.}

BUFFY: She calls herself what now?

SUPERMAN: Clobber Girl.

BUFFY: Clobber...

HAWKGIRL {eyes narrowed}: Girl.

BUFFY: Seriously?

{Batman leans forward, looking at Buffy past the empty chair.}

BATMAN: It's her decision.

{She leans forward to look at him.}

BUFFY: I don't force any girl to join. I'm just here to let her know why she has the power she has, and that she's not alone. If she doesn't wanna come back with us, fine.

BATMAN: But you did. According to your story, getting that power was never their choice. And now you're responsible for whatever they do with it.

{She glares, then turns to Xander.}

BUFFY {whispering}: I think I don't like him.

XANDER {whispering back}: Ixnay, Buf. For the love of god, ixnay.

BUFFY: I should just spill his secret identity. I saw the movie. And Wonder Woman's really...tall. Basketball tall. Don't you think?

XANDER: Yeah. Heightly. You betcha.

FLASH: Wait, so you've only got super-strength? You don't fly or breathe underwater or-

{He's suddenly in the empty chair, startling Buffy. She looks at Xander like, "Where did he come from?"}

GREEN LANTERN: All you do is run.

FLASH {frowns}: Well, yeah, but...fast. Who can break the sound barrier, huh? Hands?

{His raises.}

{Scene: COMMAND CENTRAL, PRESENT. Willow, Buffy and Batgirl are standing by the mystics.}

BUFFY: They opened the first portal. We ended up right in the Watchtower. {cringes} Dinah came this close to doing that voice thing.

{Then she's over it and shrugs.}

BUFFY: Slayers were "spelled" in alternate dimensions, even. Who knew?

{Batgirl slides back her cowl and lets her hair fall loose.}

BATGIRL/BARBARA: You guys have a laundry room? Costume's kinda sweaty.

{Buffy looks over at a GREEN-HAIRED SLAYER on monitor duty, while Xander leaves his dais of authority.}

BUFFY: Tracy, can you-?

{Xander's there, grabbing Barbara's arm.}

XANDER {smiling}: I'll show ya how it's done. All in the fabric softener.

{Batgirl lets herself be led out, smiling back.}


WILLOW {jealous again}: Are they...?

BUFFY: He wishes. A lot.

{For a few seconds they say nothing.}


BUFFY {playing dumb}: Well, what?

WILLOW {resolve face}: More story.

BUFFY: It's not that-

{Willow's arms fling out, animatedly.}

WILLOW: You're dating Wonder Woman! There's a "wo" in front of the "man" part!

{Every slayer in Command Central is looking at their leader, who's trying to duck into herself, a la, a turtle.}

BUFFY: Let's discuss not here.

{Willow's hands cross her chest-she's standing her ground.}

BUFFY {sighing}: She just wanted to make Batman jealous. 'Cause she liked him. Then it didn't work, 'cause he's a jackass. So she wanted to vent, and wanted me to come with. To her island home. Her "no men allowed" home-kinda a little familiar. And I met her mother, and got tan, and battled some for fun, and somehow we were making out. Really. Me. And a Princess. I dunno how it happened. Can the story be over?

{Scene: CASTLE HALL. Sometime later, a dressed-down Barbara-in a shirt and jeans-and Buffy are walking through, passing slayers as they go. Willow's discreetly tailing them.}

BUFFY: Not that I'm not glad to see you, and Kara makes Dawn forget to be moody, but why-

BARBARA {grinning}: -isn't a hot, six-foot-tall Amazon who was made out of clay here instead?

BUFFY: 5'11. And she doesn't feel like...

{Now she blushes.}

BUFFY: Uh, I mean, why dimension hop? Today? You aren't just here to hang.

BARBARA: We've got a problem. And I had to convince Bruce to let us break it to you first, or you'd hit him again.

{At this, the slayer stops, Barbara with her, and Willow ducks into an alcove, panicky.}

BUFFY: Why would I want to this time?

BARBARA: The Joker knows. About your...world. We think he found a way to come here.

{Buffy looks up at the ceiling and exhales.}

BUFFY: You're right. I woulda hit him. {beat} We had a deal. I keep my demons on my side, you keep your supervillain-y people on your side. I actually borrowed some of Xander's comics, and, how come they never stay in jail, anyway?

{Barbara visibly shivers.}

BARBARA: Don't bring up the "C-Word," okay? It's just weird.

BUFFY: Sorry.

{She closes her eyes in realization, then opens them again.}

BUFFY: I'm gonna need his help-crap.

{They resume walking. Willow does the same after peeking out.}

BUFFY: Tell him he better listen to me, Barbara. And keep a low profile. If people found out you all existed...badness would ensue. Complicated badness.

{Barbara's palms go up, and she shakes her head.}

BARBARA: Don't put me in the middle of this. You can tell him. But even if he does? Listen? Won't matter. The Joker doesn't know the meaning of "low profile."

{Dramatic pause.}

BUFFY: So why isn't Diana here?

BARBARA {smirking}: She's in Brazil. Our Brazil. Speaking at some global conference about conserving the Rainforest.

{Buffy has a pleased reaction to this side of her girlfriend, and then her eyes widen.}

BUFFY: She's coming after, isn't she?

{Scene: "ANDROID'S DUNGEON," MANHATTAN. It's a comic shop. The annoyed OWNER is behind his counter of power, while a BROWSER is at a rack flipping through the merchandise.}

{The owner moves around from behind his counter, walks up to the browser, and taps his shoulder. As the browser turns around, the book he's reading stays in front of his face. It's a near-mint, first printing of "The Killing Joke." The owner gasps in horror.}

OWNER: Do you have any idea what you're holding, man? Unless you got the cash to pay for it, hand it over. Gentle.

{Noises of disappointment come from the other side of the book's cover. Like the kind you'd make pressing your tongue against the back of your teeth.}

BROWSER: This doesn't look a thing like me!

{Then as the book begins to tear in two, it's revealed that this person is THE JOKER. The owner gasps in horror again, this time legitimately. The Joker throws both halves aside.}

THE JOKER: I'll sue!

{Then he presses on the gag flower pinned to his signature, purple suit, releasing his very own gas into the owner's face, who coughs and gags.}

THE JOKER {wide, toothy, evil smile}: After I burn this place to the ground.

{He pats both his pants pockets, then jacket pockets, and just as he grits his teeth in anger, seems to remember. Reaching into the pocket inside the jacket's lining, he comes out with a match, then strikes it on the owner's cheek.}

{He tosses the lit match behind him, laughing with ever-increasing psychotic intensity as he walks away. The flames begin to burn, and the now fetal shop owner's mouth is stretched into an unnatural grin as he laughs uncontrollably, tears streaming down his face.}