FINALLY UTAPRI HAS ITS OWN CATEGORY!
Moi moi! Jo-chan desuuuu~ I bring you a UtaPri fic that was inspired by my own sleepless nights. I actually wrote this in small parts in the dead of the night, hence the title. I always have lots of thoughts stuck in my head, especially those of my *cough* crush *cough*.
Some parts were inspired by the following songs: Aiaigasa by Tegomass, Kataomoi no chiisana koi by Tegomass and Je n'ai pas de nots by Vic Mignogna.
But why Tokiya? Well, he seems mysterious, since he doesn't speak his thoughts much, so I think he would be the kind of person who thinks of a lot of things. (I love Mamoru Miyano~~)
NOTE! I completely made up Tokiya's past. It sounds like something out of a drama, but I think it works. (I must be watching too much Chinese and Taiwanese dramas for my own good.)
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Uta no Prince-sama and it's franchise. But I do own a copy of the manga.
Tokiya lay awake, staring at the ceiling.
He just couldn't seem to fall asleep, no matter what he did. His roommate, on the other hand, had been snoring rather loudly for quite a while now. He tossed and turned under the covers, trying his best to get comfortable, but in vain.
For some reason, he couldn't stop thinking about her. In fact, she was the cause of his restlessness.
He could still remember what had happened earlier that day...
There had been a sudden downpour in the town that afternoon. Tokiya had been out to the store for some daily necessities when it started raining.
He was planning on waiting for the rain to lighten up before heading back to the academy, but, as if it was too good a coincidence, she had spotted him and offered to share her umbrella with him. He had declined, but she had insisted upon it. Being a gentleman, he held the umbrella for them as they walked back in silence to the academy.
It was awkward been the two, walking together under that small umbrella.
"You can come closer if you want to," He spoke, trying to sound as if he was not bothered by the tension between them.
"Oh, okay," she replied, somewhat bashfully, as she moved slightly closer towards him.
"What is it, Ichinose-san?" She looked up, straight into his eyes.
Tokiya opened his mouth, trying to find the words to say, but shut when he couldn't.
"It's... nothing." He mumbled, looking down at the ground.
He wanted to forget about the little things that happen between them, but he can't forget them. He didn't want to forget them.
Covering his mouth with his hand, he grinned to himself. He was amused... amazed, even, at how much he had fallen for her.
What was it about Nanami Haruka that had caught his attention? What was it about her that made him feel attracted to her? He didn't really know the answer.
Perhaps it was her kind heart which never failed to show concern for those in need. He didn't know how, but somehow, she could always tell when he was feeling troubled. Perhaps it was her smile, so dazzling it was like a lone star shining in the darkness of the night. She was like the sun; she had brightened up his life.
Perhaps it was her gentle laughter, a sweet sound that resonates in his heart and makes it beat faster when it reaches his ears. He loved how she called out his name so sweetly; it made him smile.
The first time they met, she had addressed him by 'Hayato'. He couldn't blame her, though. He was Hayato, after all. Then again, he wasn't lying when he said that Hayato was his twin brother.
When he was only four, his parents divorced. His mother, a famous composer at that time, took with her his older brother: the smart, talented Hayato, despite his poor health. Tokiya, perfectly normal and healthy, was left to his father, a kind-hearted man who ran a day-care centre.
Like his father, Tokiya loved children. He may not be as talented as his brother, but he loved singing. He often spent his time helping out at his father's day-care centre, where the children loved to hear him sing.
However, things changed when his older twin brother, Hayato, had passed away when he was in his second year of Junior High. His mother was devastated at the news of her son's death. Hayato was still alive, she insisted.
At the funeral, things just became haywire. The first thing his mother did when she saw him was to run over, calling out the name of his dead brother.
"Hayato! You aren't dead! You're alive!"
He stood there, frozen for a second, numerous thoughts racing through his mind.
"Hayato! Thank goodness…" His mother had cried as she held him in her arms, her tears staining his shirt. "You are Hayato, aren't you? Tell me, Hayato. Tell me the doctors were lying!"
It hurt. It had hurt for him to be mistaken for his prodigy of a brother, whom he was always jealous of, who lay cold and still in the wooden coffin. But it had hurt him even more to see his mother in that state. His mother had always favoured his brother and did not fail to make it obvious, but still, she was his mother after all.
So he chose to put on that mask… for her sake.
His lips slowing turning upwards into a smile, he wrapped his arms around his mother, comforting her as he spoke.
"Yes, mother, it's me. Your beloved son… Hayato."
That was the day he abandoned his identity as 'Ichinose Tokiya' and became Hayato.
Tokiya winced at the memory. It had been painful those years. He even entered showbiz because his dead brother had wished to be an Idol. It was something Hayato wanted, not Tokiya. He wanted to sing. But he can't. HAYATO wasn't suited for singing, his manager had told him.
Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, his mind drifted back to the memories of what had happened earlier that day.
Today wasn't the only day he had failed to tell her his feelings. Even though he had decided, 'Today, I must properly confess my feelings for you', he could never seem to find the words to convey it. But... what if she has feelings for someone else? What if she didn't feel for him the way he did towards her? What if she loved HAYATO and not him? If he confessed... would he still be able to see her smile?
Just watching her from afar... he won't mind it.
Is this what they call a crush, perhaps unrequited love?
Well, it'll be nice if there was an to this unrequited love. If there's no end to it, then he shall protect it. He can never be honest with himself, but that's how he is, after all.
Love is such a complicated thing. It was like a code that even someone as smart as himself couldn't decipher. Speaking of which, won't it be nice if a textbook for love actually existed? If there was one, he would read it to understand how he felt.
He didn't give a damn about what Shining Saotome said about love being forbidden. He was grateful for the man giving him a chance to debut as himself, to sing. However, he wasn't going to allow him to forbid his feelings for her.
Tokiya yawned, glancing out of the windows. Thick layers of clouds were gathering in the sky. He turned, burying himself under the warmth of the covers. Maybe it'll rain again tomorrow... Some part of him knows that wish isn't a lie. As he closed his eyes and let sleep take over his state of consciousness, one single thought ran through his mind.
Maybe he'll try confessing to her tomorrow...
It's not very good, is it now? (buries face in hands) It's like a blanket made of thousands of different scraps sewn together.
Well, I can't grasp Tokiya's character well. I prefer to write 'Idiot' guys like Suoh Tamaki of Ouran or Tsundere ones (like Hijikata of Hakuouki...?), but I don't mind a change of pace.
PLEASE REVIEW! You'll make this author's day brighter!
Jo-chan signing out!