A/N: I wrote this out of guilt for my readers because I've been crap at updating lately. So...sorry! :)
Rating T for: Language
Warning(s): Spoilers for City of Glass. No City of Fallen Angels. Though I do love Jordan...
Jace is OOC. Well, I guess. We never did figure out his reaction to children...
Disclaimer: Cassie said she couldn't picture the MI characters as adults with children. So, what I'm saying is that I'm not her. :)
THIS IS A ONESHOT. THAT WILL NOT CHANGE.
December 31st, 2007
The first time she brought it up, it was New Year's Eve and she was drunk.
"Ja-ace," she slurred, resting her head on his lap, arching her head into the palm of his hand as he ran his fingers through her hair.
"Yeah, Clary?" He smirked down at his girlfriend of three years. Needless to say, he could handle his liqour better than her. Poor thing was going to have a killer hangover in the morning. Luckily, she was staying at the Institute for the holidays, so he wouldn't have to worry about Luke and Jocelyn kicking his ass for letting her drink two years before the mundane legal age.
"Did you ever think about kids?" She murmured, opening her bloodshot eyes and struggling to focus on his face. "Like, having them?"
Jace stopped stroking her hair. "Kids? Being a dad?" He wrinkled his nose, wondering if she was kidding. "Nah. I don't really like kids."
Clary sat up abruptly, startling him and herself. Still tipsy, she lost her balance and fell of his lap and the couch.
Before he could pull her back up, she was sitting up again, glaring at him in an adorable way. Which was no surprise, since she was the most adorable girl in the world, period.
"Why not?" She demanded in a wobbly voice. "You liked Max, right?"
Jace winced. The Lightwoods never talked about the little Shadowhunter boy. In fact, they never tended to speak of the dead, at all. So whenever she spoke his name, it was like salt on the wound. "Max-was mature."
Clary scowled. "Children aren't supposed to be mature, Jace-" she hiccuped-"they're supposed to be happy."
He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her back onto his lap. "I was ha-"
"Nuh-uh." Clary rubbed her face into his chest. "No you weren't."
Jace sighed. "Babe, go to sleep. You're wasted."
She was out before he finished his sentence.
He smiled, and stared at the fire, which was beginning to die out. No, he wasn't ready for kids. Hell, he was just twenty. If he was lucky, he'd live to be thirty. Shadowhunters didn't make good families. Jocelyn couldn't even do it. Maryse and Robert failed, miserably.
Sighing, he rested his head on Clary's, and went to sleep.
October 23, 2008
The second time she brought it up, they were at the park, Jace's back pressed against the trunk of an oak tree, and Clary sitting between his legs, doodling in her sketchbook.
It was chilly, the crunchy autumn leaves blowing into her loose hair. Jace pulled some loose orange leaves out of her curls, humming along to the music coming from his earphones.
With his face pressed into the back of her neck, he felt her throat vibrate, indicating she'd said something. Jace pulled an earbud out, disappointed that he was missing out on his favorite Framing Hanley song. Simon had recommended them, and he'd waited two months before taking his offer, and listening to one of their songs. That damn bloodsucker still held it against him.
"What was that?" He murmured in her ear, resting his chin atop her shoulder. "I couldn't hear you."
She sighed, exasperated. He kissed the spot right below her ear in an apology. "Sorry."
"I said," she turned to face him, "did you see that family, over there?" She pointed.
Jace looked over, spotting a young couple carrying what appeared to be a baby. Gross. He made a face. "Did that just burp all over that guy's face?"
Clary giggled. "Isn't it adorable?"
"Er...no." He shook his head. "You aren't still talking about babies, are you?"
An indignant look passed over her face. "And so what if I am?" She demanded. "What do you have against babies, Jace? I swear, sometimes you just act like you hate kids..."
Jace shrugged. "Some people just don't like kids, Clary. Fact of life."
She pulled away, his arm falling away. She faced him fully, her arms crossed. "Let me get this straight..." She narrowed her eyes at him, her mouth tightening. "You don't like kids?"
Jace gave an uncomfortable laugh. "Well, come on, babe." He reached his hand out towards her, but Clary dodged his grasp. He sighed. "No. I don't like kids."
Clary's eyes widened. "So...You'll never want to have kids?"
Jace ignored his instinct, the Shadowhunter in him and the man in him; To shut up. "Nah."
She didn't talk to him for a week.
February 14th, 2009
Jace and Clary were at Taki's, eating over a blue-ish candle light, courtesies of Magnus.
The subject of kids hadn't been mentioned in months, after Clary had locked Jace out of their apartment on Christmas Eve, in the New York snow. If he hadn't had his stele with him, chances were he may have caught pneumonia.
Clary sighed, staring down at her salad. "Jace...Look at that little girl."
Jace set down his fork. "Clary." He leaned forward. "Can we please not bring this up? C'mon, it's Valentine's Day..."
She frowned at him. "Well, we have to talk about this, today."
He slumped in his chair, his hair falling in front of his face. "The only thing I'd like to talk about is what we're going to do after dinner," he murmured slyly.
Clary threw her napkin at him. "Jace Wayland! Stop being a perv and listen to me."
Jace sighed heavily. "What's so great about children, Clary? They sleep, eat, crap, and waste our money. We could get a dog for that. And that we could tie to a chain without getting arrested by your damn mundie police."
She gave him an injured look. "Jace, there's so much more to having a kid than just that. Don't you want to have a family? Raise a little boy or girl?"
Jace gave her a look. "You're all the family I need, sweetheart," he crooned, reaching for her hands over the table. "Why have a little monster get in they way?"
Clary yanked her hands back, her expression horrified. "I cannot believe you just said that," she whispered harshly.
Jace winced. "Look-"
"No, Jace. You look. Look at me." She stood up, her chair falling to the floor. "Look at me leave. And don't bother coming to the apartment, just check out a hotel. Because there is no way in hell you are coming home with me."
She stormed out, throwing the earrings and sketchpad he'd gotten her onto her plate.
Jace sighed. God, women were complicated.
He turned in his chair, and groaned; That was the girl Clary had mentioned. Looked like a faerie, from the cobwebby-looking wings she was starting to sprout from her shoulderblades.
Her hair was red and curly, her eyes were round and green.
Jace scowled; Stupid fae and their stupidly cute babies. He stood up, tossing his check onto the table, and grabbing his girlfriend's gifts. Then walked out, heading for Magnus and Alec's place.
The Next Morning
Jace yawned as he climbed up the steps to his apartment, not in the mood to use the elevator. Some creepy old guy stood in the corner in it all day, staring at whoever got on with his beady little eyes until they got off. And Jace wasn't in the mood to purposefully avoid him, that morning.
To his surprise, the apartment door was unlocked. Thank the Angel. He was too tired to grovel for Clary to let him in. Though she should know better to leave it unlocked. Too dangerous.
Jace found Clary, instead of in their bed, like any normal person at five in the morning would be, curled up on their squishy green loveseat, her eyes swollen and red.
"Babe?" He hurried over to her, and sat down. "What's wrong? Why're you up so early?"
Clary sniffled and wiped her eyes. "Mom called."
Jace shifted awkwardly. "Oh. Is she alright?"
She nodded, and gave him a wobbly smile. "Yeah. She's great, actually." She gave a water chuckle. "She and Luke are going to have a baby."
He blinked. "Oh. She's not too old?"
"She's only forty-two, Jace."
Jace frowned. "So why are you crying? You're having a baby, just like you wanted."
She pulled away, and slapped his arm. "Goddammit, Jace! That isn't what I want, and you know it."
He stood up, angry. "Why? I don't want a kid. I don't want to raise a kid. I don't want to be a father. That just isn't me. How in the hell is that so difficult to understand?"
"You're so selfish, Jace. You know that? You're so damn selfish. Always taking from me. Well, when the hell do I get to have something that I can take care of?"
Jace sighed. "Fine. If this is about taking care of something, I'll just get you a goldfish."
She shook her head, and started backing away. "I don't...I can't do this, Jace. If you don't want to be a father, fine. I'll have a kid with someone else. Raise it by myself. I won't burden you with something you obviously don't want."
Jace stared at her. "Clary..."
She ignored him and walked back into their room, locking the door behind her.
November 18th, 2010
Jace stood in the corner of the Garroway's house, watching as everyone, including his girlfriend, kept cooing over the bundle in Luke's arms.
Kendall Garroway: Eight pounds and three ounces, with a head thick full of red hair and blue eyes.
Jace wanted to look away as Clary picked up her sister, smiling widely as she tickled the newborn, giggling to herself. But he couldn't. She just...She looked so damn happy. Like she was literally shining. It was beautiful to watch. Clary, not the nasty baby.
"Life-changing, isn't it?" He looked over at Magnus who had moved to stand next to him.
Magnus gave him a surprised look. "Children. Listen, jackass, Clary told me what you said about babies..."
"What?" Jace frowned at him. "I thought she was over that. She hasn't said anything in nine months."
"Because she was at my apartment every Monday and Friday crying about how you hate children." Magnus took a sip of his champagne. "But look at her. She's already got the maternal glow on her, and she isn't even pregnant."
Jace swallowed, refusing to admit anything. "I don't want to be a father, Magnus."
Magnus scoffed. "Bullshit. You're just scared because you think you'll make World's Crappiest Dad."
"I'm not scared of anything, Bane."
"Whatever." Magnus shrugged, and turned back to where Clary had leaned her face closer to Kendall's, rubbing her nose against the baby's nose. The rodent squealed happily, gurgling and grabbing a fistful of Clary's curls.
Jace started, but Magnus grabbed his arm. "She doesn't care, dumbass."
"Anyway." Magnus poured some more champagne into his glass. "I don't think you'll screw up that bad. And if you do, Clary'll always keep your ass in check."
"I told you, I'm not afraid of screwing up-"
"Shut up, I'm trying to help you two out." Magnus gave him a look. "Don't make me regret it."
Jace rolled his eyes.
"Besides, do you think I'd make a good dad?" Magnus asked him, seriously. "Can you picture me taking care of a girl or boy? Feeding them, giving them lots of clothes? Hurting my children in any way?"
Jace shook his head.
"Well, get this." Magnus leaned forward. "My dad used to beat the crap out of my mother and I. In fact, remember how I told you he tried to kill me."
Jace nodded. "Yeah. My-Valentine tried that, too."
Magnus grinned eerily. "That wasn't the first time he'd tried to kill me. When I was four months old, my mother told me how he tried to drop me in a fire. When I was three, he pushed me off the wagon and I was almost trampled to death. If I was human, I might have been killed."
Jace blinked. "Damn. I had no idea. Sorry, man."
Magnus waved him away. "Apologizing for stuff you don't do? Living with Clary's turning you into a soft hypocrite."
"Shut it, demon-freak."
"That's more like it." Magnus went quiet. "Anyway, my point was, can you picture me doing that to a kid?"
Jace shook his head. "No."
"Exactly." Magnus leaned back, satisfied. "Now picture this: Clary pregnant."
The vision came unbidden; Clary, with a round belly and swollen feet, that same glow on her face.
Jace tightened his hands into fists, the yearning that image created made him want to grab Clary away from everyone right then and get her pregnant, just to see her like that.
Magnus nodded, looking pleased. "And I believe she said she'd have a child with another man? Picture her pregnant. Carrying a baby that isn't yours."
Jace had the same picture, but it was different. It made him pissed. Clary having a baby that wasn't his. Being with a man that wasn't him.
Magnus chuckled. "Look at you! You look ready to explode, Pretty Boy!"
Jace scowled at him. "Shut up, prick."
"But you don't want to be a dad, I forgot." Magnus sighed. "Oh, well. I'm sure there are plenty of nice-looking mundies or Nephilim I'm sure would love to have something of theirs inside of Clary-"
"I said shut up!" Jace struck his fist at Magnus's jaw with enough force to snap his head back.
Everyone in the room froze, and turned to look at Magnus and Jace.
"What the hell, Jace?" Alec demanded, hurrying over to check on his boyfriend. "Was that really necessary to do at a time like this?"
Clary gave Jace a disappointed look, which made him slump. Damn, he hated making her mad.
Magnus snickered. "Whipped bastard."
Jace sighed and stood up. "I'll get you back later, asshole," he muttered out of the side of his mouth as he made his way over to Clary. "Hey."
She raised her eyebrows. "Hey."
"Can I hold her?" Jace mentally slapped himself for sounding like such a girl. But hey, whatever made her happy, right?
Clary, instead of smiling happily like he'd expected, looked pissed. "I don't know," she said. "How do I know you won't drop her? You know, since you've grown up killing "demons" and all..."
Jace sighed again. "I won't drop the damn-I won't drop her," he hurriedly amended at her quickly angering expression.
"Fine." Clary held out the bundle.
Jace hesitated, but reached out and lifted her into the crook of his arms.
She didn't smell that bad. And she wasn't ugly, either. She was kinda cute, but her sister was definitely prettier. Always prettier. Jace shifted her a little, seeing how it felt to hold a baby. It wasn't horrible. Kind of relaxing, actually. She was real soft. No Clary-soft, but light and small. He tried to picture her as Clary's baby, and to his surprise, the image came with ease.
Clary was smiling at him and Kendall wistfully.
He wanted to smile back, but she was off in her own head again, and she most likely wouldn't have noticed.
Clary raised her eyes hopefully.
Jace cleared his throat. "Y'know, that guest room we have?"
She nodded, her expression quickly turning excited.
"We never use it..."
Clary gave shaky laugh. "What are you saying?"
Jace looked down at Kendall, and thought of what Magnus said. He wouldn't screw up like Valentine, or Stephen. He wouldn't be cold and remote like Robert and Maryse.
"I guess we could have a kid-" He was cut off by Clary throwing her arms around his waist and pressing her face against his collarbone, squealing.
"Uh, Clary..." Jace looked down at her, grinning slightly. "You're gonna suffocate your sister, babe."
She didn't pull away.
He rested his chin on her head, and sighed. To his surprise, he didn't feel that regretful about his decision.
Magnus coughed, which was startingly loud after the complete silence that had fallen when he and Clary had begun talking.
October 31st, 2011
He turned around from where he was standing in front of the window in their newborn's nursery, looking guilty.
Clary was standing in the doorway in her green velvet robe, smirk on her face. She'd slept from two in the morning to...he looked down at his watch. Eleven a.m. Who knew labor was so exhausting?
"You're gonna have to put her down sometime, you know."
Jace looked down at their sleeping daughter in his arms. Her golden-red head was resting on his chest, and she didn't even snore or whine in her sleep, thank the Angel. She was even softer than her mother. He'd been holding her for the past hour, and even though his shoulders were beginning to hurt, he didn't want to put her back in her crib.
Clary sighed and walked over to them, wrapping her arms around his waist and laying her head on his shoulder. "She looks so much smaller than she felt," she muttered.
Jace snickered. "Poor you. She gets that from her father."
Clary rolled her eyes. "God, you just know how to kill the moment, huh?"
"And she made you scream, just like I do-" Clary made a hissing noise, not wanting to risk pinching or slapping him while he was still holding their daughter.
Jace couldn't take his eyes of her. Her eyes, like her mother's, were green. But she had his features, which Magnus began complaining about, declaring she'd grow up to be as vain as he was.
"She'll still be here when you wake up. Now come on back to bed. We have to take her to Idris in the morning so Luke and Mom can see her. I don't want you passing out in the Portal."
Jace sighed. "I'll be in there in a minute."
Clary kissed his cheek. "You can bring Autumn, if you want. She might get scared, being in here all alone."
Jace released a heavy breath. "Thank you."
She shook her head. "I'm not letting you breastfeed with her, Jace Wayland."
Clary gave a giggle and let go of him, and began walking to the door. "Come on, Jace."
He shifted Autumn into a more comfortable position and followed his fiancee, closing the door behind him.