Sam and Max versus the Dinosaurs

(Based off the 1920's magazine serial "A Dog and Rabbit Battle Things that are Old"!)

A white haired foot violently kicked the door open and an hyperkinetic rabbity thingy and dog in a suit and fedora walked in.

"Wow, what a case!" Max sighed happily while wiping some oil from the robot fight off his fur.

"You said it little buddy. Who would've thought that a simple errand to pick up the commissioner's dry cleaning would cumulate in a galaxy-spanning showdown against an omnipotent AI god for control of the very fabric of the universe?" Sam replied before going over to his desk.

"And I got to keep this awesome portal gun!" Max pulled out a white, tube like gun with three prongs at its end from the mysterious location of his inventory. "I wonder how it works..." He experimentally fired the gun which shot a blue energy beam that created a blue ellipse on the floor. Max fired again and an orange portal appeared next to the original. Without hesitance the lagomorph jumped in and was propelled out the other portal only to fall back in, stuck in an endless loop.

"Max, stop fooling around with that thing; it could give you cancer. Besides it's my turn." Sam got up to snatch the portal gun away from his fellow freelance policeman when the phone began to ring. Both of them immediately ceased their portaling hijinks and raced towards the phone.

"I got it, I got it!" Max screamed as he ran up to the phone. He grabbed the receiver only for his mouth to unhinge, which Sam emerged from.

"I got it!" Sam took the phone from Max's his hand. "Hello? Yes, yes? No, no! Great jelly-beans roasting on an old grill that hasn't been cleaned in fifteen years we're on the case!" He slammed the phone down and turned to Max, who was snapping his lower jaw back in place.

"Who was it Sam?"

"The commissioner, he said there's bad trouble downtown." Sam and Max pulled out their guns and ran downstairs, ready for action. "Since the DeSoto is in the shop, we'll have to resort to... public transit." Max shivered at the mention, their last case involving buses had not gone well. However it could not be helped, and the Freelance Police got on board the next bus to arrive at Straight and Narrow street's bus stop.

As the two go on board everything seemed normal. They deposited their bus tokens and picked a seat near the front, in case they would have to get out quick in order to deliver justice whatever was causing the bad trouble downtown. That was when things, as per the course for Sam and Max, got really weird. A rather large man wearing headphones and holding a CD player began to belt out a garbled rendition of "California Girls", or has he sang it "Chalicornia" Girls.

"I'm dancin' on the le-go, mmhm

You meet in, my jeep. mmh

It wasn't God on the stereo

You can travel the wor-ld

And nothing comes close to the golden clothes

Once your falling and le-arn

Now your falling in love

Oh a oh a oh

Chalicornia girls, were undenettable

D.Z. Dukes, Bikini's on top

Sunkist is so hot

Go macho Mexico

Wa oh a oh a

Wa a oh

Wa oh a oh a oh

Calicornia girls, we're undeniable

Fine fresh beer, we got it unlock

West Coast is the ying

Now put your hands up

Wa oh a oh a

Wa a oh


"Sam I don't know how much longer I can take this." Max said while trying to resist the urge to strangle the man.

"Stay strong little pal we'll be there soon enough." Though as the fat man continued to sing, Sam wondered if his assumption was right.

Meanwhile, Axe Cop and Dinosaur Soldier were having lunch at their favorite restaurant: O'Mc Babies. When the waiter came Axe Cop was ready to order, "I'll have a baby burger please."

"And I'll have the baby-back ribs." Added Dinosaur Soldier. The waiter went to get their orders when a huge crashed happened at the parking lot.

"That sounds like a bad guy, we need to investigate!" So they ran outside with their axe and flute and machine gun ready for a fight. It turned out the crash was caused by meteor that hit the parking lot and killed some people and a few cars but the Axe Cop Police Monster Truck was okay. "This seems suspicious."

Without warning, the meteor opened and a bunch of dinosaurs and gangsters came out and started killing all the people. This made Axe Cop and Dinosaur Soldier really confused, because dinosaurs were good guys. Then Dinosaur Soldier realized what had happened.

"Axe Cop! A bad guy must have pushed the Secret Button that makes you King of all Dinosaurs!" This was bad news, because as a policeman he had to kill the dinosaurs even thought they used to be good guys.

"I'll chop your heads off!" Axe Cop roared and ran into the fight. Dinosaur Soldier stayed back and used a sniper-machine gun to snipe the gangster with. Minutes later they had sniped all the gangsters and chopped the all dinosaur's heads off. "Now we have to find the bad guy who pressed the Secret Button." But more meteors started to fall out of the sky and hit buildings. More gangsters and dinosaurs came out of the meteors and there were too many of them for Axe Cop and Dinosaur Soldier to kill. "We need to make a team."

To Be Continued...