A/N: Okay, this story literally just popped into my head and I had to write it down. If I don't do it now, I never will so here is this story in all its randomness. (This is a side story to The Consequences of Boredom.)

Disclaimer: Black Cat is not mine.

Cat's Don't Dance

Train Heartnet, a.k.a. number thirteen of the Chronos numbers, the ex-assassin, the infamous Black Cat was at this moment struggling with a huge, colossal, we're talking about a gigantic problem here.

Now, this man had been through many things. He'd been through life and death experiences. He had lived through his parents being killed. He had shared a living space with the man that had killed his parents. He'd killed and had been through all kinds of traumatic things in his short life.

But none of them could come close to comparing to the horrible issue that was staring him in the face right now. For the first time in his life, Train felt fear…scratch that, he felt absolute terror. His legs buckled, his fists shook, his mind screamed at him to run as his eyes bugged out of his head. The fact that his gun, Hades, was in his pocket didn't comfort the poor guy in the slightest and we all know that this man is handy with a gun.

Unfortunately, the problem that Train faced could not be solved with a gun.

"Come on Train-kun, what's the matter?" Kyoko asked studying him as he stared at the dance studio in front of them. She was confused by the behavior of her newly acquired boyfriend, but with a shrug she simply started to drag him into the building. Train tried to resist, but the effort was pointless. Kyoko was going to get her way.

Now at this moment you might be wondering why Train is getting all worked up over a dance studio. Well, as the lovely title states a couple paragraphs above this one…Cat's Don't Dance.

You may say, "Ha! That's just a title of an underrated movie about cats," or you might say, "Oh, I watched that movie when I was a kid," or most likely, "why the heck is this crazy lady droning on and on about a stupid title?"

But despite whatever thought may run through your mind, the phrase is quite true. Cats really don't dance and seeing that Train Heartnet is the Black Cat…well you can see the logic in this statement.

Some may argue that Train could in fact dance because he was such a graceful killer and fighter. He was a fierce panther in the night so to speak, but being an ex-assassin didn't mean the man could dance. You see, because he had spent so much of his time being an assassin and then going on the straight and narrow and then going into semi-retirement since the bad guys didn't show up as often, some of that gracefulness faded away and when added with the point that Train had never danced in his entire life, well you get the picture.

So in that particular moment, Train was desperately hoping that Kyoko would suddenly change her mind about dance lessons or at least let him go. After all, they held classes for single dancers. She could go alone and he wouldn't have to face imminent embarrassment.

It's not like Train had never made a fool of himself before, but he really didn't want to make a full of himself in front of his girlfriend when she could breathe fire and burn him alive. Yes, he liked being with Kyoko and all, but sometimes the young woman expected too much from him. She held her precious Black Cat up on a pedestal and he didn't want to do anything that would embarrass her.

Going on that dance floor would surely embarrass Kyoko if he did. That much he knew without having to learn the hard way. Idly he thought back to boring days when he had just been a sweeper lacking anything to do. The times when he had formed a brother sister bond with Eve and had gotten himself into stupid situations that Eve constantly had to get him out of, though sometimes she put him in those situations. He thought back to the night when he spied on Rinslet and Jenos on the night Jenos proposed marriage. Train could still feel the sting of the slap on his face. And he also remembered in disdain the awful scene at the mall where he had attacked Santa Claus. Oh, and lets not forget Train's trip to jail. You know how crazy Train had gotten then.

And all of that craziness had started when he had run into Kyoko.

"I'm so excited!" Kyoko exclaimed as she dragged Train inside. They traveled up some stairs and came to a door with a sign that read, "Ballroom Dancing."

Train swallowed the lump in his throat. "Are you sure about this Kyoko?"

"Of course," Kyoko replied as she reached for the doorknob. With a twist and a push the two lovebirds entered and watched the spectacle of some of the couples warming up. Train figured that maybe he'd be able to survive with minimal embarrassment.

However, just to be safe he checked the room for escape routes. The only one was the door that was now behind him. No turning back.

"We're going to have so much fun," Kyoko said as she drug Train further into the semi crowded room. They walked to the check in desk that was on the side of the ballroom and away from the dancers. The woman at the desk was a pale, blond haired woman with light blue eyes that were hidden behind black frame glasses. She was currently on the telephone and had barely finished speaking when Kyoko and Train sauntered up to the desk.

"We're here for the Beginner's Ballroom," Kyoko stated, a big smile on her innocent face.

The woman glanced up at the two. "I'll have to call you back George." She hung up the phone. "I'm sorry could you repeat that sweetheart?"

Kyoko beamed. "We're here for the Beginner's Ballroom."

The woman nodded. "You're registering as a couple I presume?" she asked, winking and smiling at Train. Our poor hero blushed.

"Yep," Kyoko replied, though now she had a stoic look on her face, obviously brought on by the green eyed monster. "That's what me and my boyfriend are here for."

The woman didn't catch the edge in Kyoko's voice and simply wrote everything down. "Will you pay with check, cash, or credit?"

"Credit," Train stated, taking out a black card. The woman took it and slid it through the card reader. The device then printed out a receipt and the woman set it on the counter. "If you would just sign here please." She handed him a pen.

Train took the pen and signed. His doom was upon him.

"Alright then," the nice blond lady stated. "The class will begin in five minutes, but you are free to warm up if you'd like."

"Thanks," Train replied as Kyoko drug him away, the smile back on her face.

After five minutes the teacher arrived. The second that happened, Train wanted to run.

A tall, slim man entered the room. He wore a black vest that was halfway zipped and tight leather pants and dance shoes. He was tan and muscular and had a brilliant smile that showed off his bleached teeth. His eyes were silver, a direct contrast to Train's eye color, and the man's hair was black, smooth, and silky.

The man posed and began showing off his bicepts. "Welcome one and all to my humble studio," the man started in a thick Spanish accent. "My name is Alejandro."

The ladies swooned and Kyoko suddenly had hearts in her eyes. Not a good sign.

"Wow," Kyoko muttered, the hearts in her eyes tripling in size if that was at all possible. "I've never seen silver eyes before."

"It's not a natural eye color," Train thought bitterly. "Besides, he doesn't look like he's all that into women."

The latter thought was definitely from the green eyed monster.

"Tonight my students, we shall study the Rumba!"

And just like that the class took off. The women swooned over their hot teacher and the males in the classroom either felt jealousy or downright discomfort over the situation. None of the men liked the fact that their girls were swooning over some pimp that could dance.

Train especially didn't like it.

"Dance my students dance!" Alejandro ordered, twisting his hips as he turned up the already loud salsa music.

"This is so much fun," Kyoko shouted as Train tried to twirl her around. He was a bit confused and since he had just learned the steps only minutes earlier, he had no clue what he was doing. After all, this was supposed to be a beginners class.

The music turned up louder and Train couldn't hear himself think. All he could hear was the music. The music invaded his mind and soul like a thief in the night and no matter how hard he tried to concentrate on the dance he could not. The pounding music made it impossible.

Kyoko didn't seem to notice, but someone else did.

The music stopped and Alejandro halted the class. Then without any warning he shoved Train away and took Kyoko from underneath his nose.

"You disappoint me class," Alejandro stated, as he guided a perplexed Kyoko to the center of the dance floor. "Especially you sir." He pointed at Train.

Train in turn sent a deadly glare at him.

"The Rumba is the dance of love, of passion, of lust."

Train did not like where this was going and he especially didn't like that the man's hands were suddenly on Kyoko's hips. The ex-assassin was about to become an assassin all over again.

"Now, when you dance the Rumba," Alejandro began as he reached up to caress Kyoko's face, "you must feel the passion growing inside of you. You must feel the music and become one with your partner."

Train's eyebrow raised as Alejandro's other hand slid lower; down to Kyoko's thigh. There was a very deadly glint to his eyes now.

"Mr. Heartnet, when you dance with Ms. Kirisaki, you have to hold her tightly," Alejandro stated as he started to demonstrate what he meant. Kyoko was a bit dazed out by the gorgeous man next to her to notice that he was starting to get a little too touchy. Seconds later though, he flung her body away from him. "Then you fling her out and bring her back in as you contemplate how you are going to have your way with her."

Train was simply disturbed. He couldn't come up with a single coherent word to say that wouldn't make him sound like a raging lunatic. Actually, it was taking everything Train had not to take Hades out of his pocket and shoot the guy straight through the forehead.

"You must pretend that her skin, her breath, her everything is your reason for living," Alejandro continued. He was starting to get touchy again and this time Kyoko noticed it. In an instant, Train's attention turned to the expression on Kyoko's face. She definitely looked uncomfortable.

"Okay, I understand," Train said as calmly as he could. "Now if you would just…"

"And after…" Alejandro trailed off as his arms wrapped a little too tightly around Kyoko's waist. He was leaning his face toward hers.

"What!" was about all Kyoko could muster. She was just too frazzled.

Train however, did not wait for Alejandro to lean in any closer.

"Haha! Go fish!"

"Oh, darn it. You've gotten really good Paulina."

"Well, I have a lot of time to get good at card games. We are in jail after all."

Train clutched the bars. "Not again!"

Kyoko and Paulina rolled their eyes. "Calm down Train," Kyoko muttered. "You act like jail is a bad thing."

"It is a bad thing!" Train screamed, turning away from the bars of the cell. "What if Charden can't bail us out this time!"

"We wouldn't have to worry about that if you hadn't beat up the dance instructor," Kyoko replied cheerfully. She then pulled out her cell phone. "Want to see the pictures I took Paulina?"

Paulina flipped her blond curls. "Sure, why not. I haven't seen a mauled body in a long, long, LONG, time."

Train sighed. He didn't really get a chance to beat up Alejandro all that much. He got in a few really good hits, but before he could really nail him, Kyoko stepped in and blew the whole studio up, which sent about fifteen people to the hospital. As of now, Kyoko and Train were facing charges such as arson, attempted murder, aggravated assault, and armed robbery. The sad thing is…Kyoko and Train hadn't robbed a single cent from that studio.

"Wow!" Paulina exclaimed. "You burned him up good. Want to play a game of Uno next?"

Kyoko laughed. "Are you kidding? I'm the queen of Uno."

Train couldn't comprehend how he'd managed to become the boyfriend of a raging psychopath who really couldn't control her temper. One thing was for sure though, he never got bored.

From around the corner, a security guard came down the hall and stopped in front of Kyoko and Train's cell. "Heartnet, you can have your one phone call now."

The guard opened up the cell and Train jumped out. He was then handed a cell phone. "Make the call now."

Train wasted no time in dialing a number.

Crimson eyes stared at the T.V. screen in explicit boredom. There was absolutely nothing to watch on T.V., which meant that Eve Vollified had absolutely nothing to occupy her time. Sure there was homework that needed to be finished and chores that needed to be done before Sven got back from sweeping and before Tearju came back from her shopping trip for the perfect wedding dress, but Eve didn't really feel like doing much of anything.

"Maybe I should call Leon," she thought, still mindlessly flicking through the channels. The two of them had been dating for about two months now, and though Sven wasn't entirely supportive of the relationship, he'd agreed that Eve was getting older and that she could date whomever she pleased as long as she didn't get into trouble.

Eve was extremely bored, so she figured that calling Leon would be best. She tossed the remote and got up from the couch and grabbed the cordless phone that was lying on the loveseat across the room. She almost started dialing, but that was when a shrill ring sounded. As the phone continued to ring, Eve narrowed her eyes and let out a deep sigh.

"What has he done now?' she asked herself as she pressed the talk button and put the phone to her ear. Almost immediately she heard Train's screams about how he was in jail and yada, yada. She'd heard all this before.

"Train, how many times are you going to get thrown in jail before understand that you and Kyoko simply can't go out into society without casualties being involved?" Eve asked nonchalantly. "If you keep getting thrown in jail they'll put you in a mental hospital you know."

"Eve, just get down here and bail us out!" Train ordered frantically.

Eve scoffed. "What makes you think I have any cash?"

"Isn't Sven there?"


Train muttered something incoherent over the phone. "What about Tearju?"

"She's out shopping."

Another incoherent mutter. "Come on Eve, I know Sven has a secret stash somewhere in the house."

Eve rolled her eyes. "Train that's for when Sven gets put in jail for doing something stupid."

"This is an emergency!"

A groan passed through Eve's lips. She was starting to get tired of having to bail Train out all the time. Still, she figured that she could get something out of him later if she did him this small favor.

"I'll be there in an hour," Eve told him.


Eve rolled her eyes again. "Train, it's not that long of a wait. Just sit tight and don't do anything stupid." With that, the crimson eyed girl hung up the phone and sprinted out of the room, up the stairs, and into Sven's room.

Train gave the phone back to the security guard and sighed. He didn't think he was going to survive being in jail for all that time. How was he supposed to occupy himself from the walls closing in around him?

"I WIN!" Kyoko exclaimed, slamming the rest of her Uno cards onto the pile. Well, there was always that.

"Dang it," Paulina muttered as she started to shuffle the deck. "That's three games in a row."

Kyoko smiled. "Told ya I was the queen."

Train walked back into the cell, feeling utterly defeated as he did so. He knew that tonight was going to be chaotic, but he never dreamed that he and Kyoko would find themselves in jail again. It was like a never ending cycle now ever since that Santa incident.

Yeah, those were good times.

Still, Train was happier than he had been in a long time, despite the constant trips to jail. He noted that Kyoko seemed happier too. Sometimes she would still cling to him a little too much and she still scared him half to death on a regular basis, but as long as he didn't see that sorrowful look on her face, he could bear the rest. The last thing he ever wanted was for Kyoko to be sad.

Ever since that last dream of Saya, Train had been focusing on learning more about Kyoko. He had noted various things about her in the past two months, like the fact that playing cards was one of Kyoko's favorite pastimes. She knew all sorts of games like Solitaire, Go Fish, Poker, Strip Poker, (which is one Train refused to play since he knew Kyoko would win every game if stripping was involved), Crazy 8's, Spades, Hearts, Uno, you name it she knew how to play.

He also noted that Kyoko had a colorful collection of seashells sitting inside of her nightstand drawer. She told him that she liked to collect them because they reminded her of when her parents used to take her to the beach. She also collected photographs of him, most of them being from times where Train didn't know his picture was being taken.

He knew that Kyoko absolutely detested bullies. When she saw a random mugger stealing from a young child, she'd burn him up on the spot. Kyoko also hated it when her teachers got onto her. Actually, she hated almost everything that had anything to do with school except for her friends and soccer games.

She texted constantly. Train didn't always like that she texted so much, but Kyoko was a Senior in high school with a bustling social life. The girl was going to text one way or another.

Something else that Train hadn't known about Kyoko before was that she loved baking. On Valentine's Day, she'd tried out all sorts of recipes for him. Then he also found out that Kyoko absolutely loved romantic novels. About a week earlier, he'd flipped to a random page of one of them. He only read about three words before his face turned so red that a lobster would have been jealous.

But one of the things Train learned that he had like the most, was that Kyoko could be extremely clumsy.

In the two months that they'd been dating, Kyoko had gotten into accidents…a lot.

The first time was about a week after Christmas when Kyoko came over to his house. Train hadn't expected her visit, so when she came in the house she had found Train relatively shirtless. She'd blushed, tripped over her own feet, and had bumped her head onto the coffee table all before she had even been in the house for five minutes. Kyoko ended up busting her head pretty bad and she had to get some stitches.

Kyoko had been terrified of getting those stitches. She cried a full ten minutes onto Train's chest before they finally sedated her. He had tear stains on his favorite shirt for a week.

The second time was a few days after that. Train had been walking down the street when Kyoko called out to him from her apartment window. Unfortunately, she got a little too excited and ended up falling out the window. Of course, since Train was there, he ended up catching her before his girlfriend could hit the pavement, which probably would have ended up killing her. As soon as Kyoko had returned to her senses, she kissed Train so forcefully that they both ended up falling onto the pavement.

That caused Kyoko's stitches to open, which meant that they had to go to the hospital again.

Over the next few weeks, Kyoko got into more and more accidents.

She fell down the stairs, she almost got mauled by a speeding truck, she tripped over thin air and nearly fell off the top of a building, she cut herself with a knife while chopping up vegitables, and most recently she twisted her ankle after falling up the stairs.

But these accidents only happened when Train was around, when she was overexcited or nervous by his presence. And after Train had saved her from nearly killing herself time and time again, she'd thank him and hug him until Train could no longer breathe.

Likewise, after all of these accidents, she'd tell Train that she loved him. Such a declaration always made Train's heart soar and made him feel like he was needed by someone.

"Train? Why are you staring at me like that?"

Train shook his head. "What?"

"I asked why you were staring at me like that," Kyoko repeated, her brown eyes twinkling. "Were you thinking something perverted over there?"

"No," he replied effortlessly as a sudden idea came to mind. Though he was still squeamish about being in jail, he wanted to make the best of it. There was only one thing he could think of.

Train walked toward where Kyoko was seated and offered his hand to her. "Care for a dance Kyoko?"

She perked up and took his hand. "Really!"

"Yeah," he replied as he pulled her up to a standing position. He then rested his left hand on her hip, while his other hand took a hold of Kyoko's. Kyoko then lifted up her right hand and placed it on Train's shoulder.

Train began to sway, leading her in a dance that was a tad bit uncoordinated, but in some ways it ended up being the most beautiful waltz anyone could have imagined. It wasn't choreographed or planned. This simple dance was just something spontaneous between two people that loved each other.

Kyoko leaned her head against the crook of Train's neck as they continued to sway. She closed her eyes and let Train lead her across the jail cell. Train rested his chin atop Kyoko's head and took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of her dark hair. A goofy smile spread across his face.

"We should get put in jail more often."

Kyoko giggled. "Maybe, but they need to get a milk machine."

"I agree."

From the table, Paulina watched and sighed. "I wish I could have a boyfriend like that…but there isn't a huge supply of quality guys in jail. Oh, well."

Thirty-five minutes later

Eve stumbled down the hall behind an security guard. She had just finished paying bail for the two lovebirds that were going to be dead as soon as she got to them. It had taken all of the money Sven had saved up to bail them out. Not a single cent of the one hundred thousand dollars was left.

But when she and the security guard reached the jail cell where the two lovebirds were, neither one of them could find the heart to interrupt such a precious moment.

I'm just kidding.


The two lovebirds broke away from each other and blushed. "Eve, it's good to see you," Train muttered stupidly. He hadn't had anything better to say.

The security guard opened the cell door. "Take the two of them away."

"With pleasure," Eve replied, motioning with her eyes for them to get moving or face her wrath. The fact of the matter is, Train and Kyoko had no earthly idea how much trouble the three of them were all in. Going to jail was just the beginning.

"This is why cats don't dance," Eve muttered angrily, cursing her bad luck. She knew she was in for a monumental headache when she got home.

Back at Eve's house


Oh, crap.

A/N: And that ends this random fic. Hope you all enjoyed it.