Story by Kyer,
Characters by Sony Tristar, no offense intended ...towards the owners,
anyway. g
This may be archived by Lisa H., the FTP site (who may archive anything of
mine), and

Btw, Last Knight, Janette's leaving Toronto, and The Human Factor never

by Kyer en Ysh September 2000

"Darn, darn, darn!" muttered Nicholas as he stared at the blobby mess on the
floor, agitatedly running the fingers of one hand through his curly blond
hair. He'd have to clean this up fast before his sire returned from his
little 'pleasure trip' or there'd be hell to pay for sure.

His father would be furious of course. His father was *always* furious when
he touched one of the General's personal possessions without asking
permission first.

Even if Nick, himself, had been the bestower of the gift.
Even if the Ancient had asked him to look in on his place while he was gone
(a chore Nick had completely forgotten about until *now* i.e. 'The. Last.
Minute.', but better late than never, right?)
Even if his knocking the thing over with his elbow had been a complete

And that was what was really strange---its even *being* there to be knocked

Nick had been sure *that* particular father's day gift he'd innocently
purchased back in 1975 would have been tossed out by his maker the moment
his son's feet had left Lacroix's abode. And it *had* been innocent
too---not like his sire had volunteered to tell the story of his conversion
circumstances until after Divia had shown up to wreck her personal brand of
havoc. But the fact remained that Lacroix had, for whatever reason,
decided to not only keep the gift, but openly display it in his apartment
despite its unintended reference to unpleasantness.

And now, there it lay... an empty glass and metallic vessel resting upon a
sadly stained carpet.

Oh, Lord.

Maybe he could fix it somehow before his sire got home?

[Hours later...]

Well, he'd tried his best.

At least he'd managed to get the scarlet stain out of the carpet with some
'As Seen On TV' goop.

But his tramping around every discount store and flea market in Toronto had
been to no avail. It seemed that although some places still carried the
darn things, *no one* actually bothered to stock them in chartruese anymore.
So he'd asked for just the needed part. No luck there either. You just
couldn't purchase the 'filling' without the whole shebang for some reason.
Of course he now realized that he *could* have just bought another one and
used it for salvage parts---but he hadn't been thinking terribly clearly
once he'd noticed how fast the minutes were ticking by, and then it had been
too late when he'd gone back. Seemed someone else had picked up the last
possible candidate an hour earlier.

So he'd grabbed a likely-looking substitute substance instead.

At least it was the right shade of red.

Once he'd added a bit of strawberry Kool Aid tm to the mix.

Satisfied that he'd managed to cover his mishap reasonable well, Nick
stuffed the last empty package of Watermelon Bubble Yum tm bubble gum in
with the rest of the wrappers filling his bulging jacket pockets, plugged in
the power to his gift's little gizmo, and left the scene.

According to the face on the Sesame Street Big Bird tm alarm clock (an
earlier gift to his master after his sire had expressed a love for
canaries), Lacroix would be home shortly, and there was no reason to let
his Elder know he'd *just* been in, was there?

[A bit later..]

Casting off his traveling cloak coat with a weary sigh, Lucien Lacroix
smiled as he looked about the safe and familiar environment that was his
current home.

It appeared everything was clean and in order. Nicholas must have taken his
designated chore seriously---the place was spotless. Even the rug looked
newly shampooed.

Except for that empty bit of tin foil left lying on the carpet.

Curious, Lacroix bent to pick up the bit of debris and sniffed delicately.

The unique scent of artificially flavored watermelon hit his nostrils.

That was strange. Surely Nicholas hadn't brought any mortals into his
rooms? Perhaps it belonged to that damnable coroner lady of his. He would
have to speak to the boy about letting his pets galavant in here without his
direct permission. Especially pets with the detestable habit of chewing
bubble gum.

But that could wait until tommorrow, he decided, eyeing the yellowish 'bird'
with the clock where its tummy should be. Right now he was (if you'll
pardon the expression) dead tired. He yawned. Yes, a close up inspection
of his bedding was definitely in order.

Except that that annoying odor of watermelon seemed to be getting stronger.
Nauseatingly so.

Possibly another gift from his son. Likely one of those
aromatherapy devices that were currently so popular with the mortals.

Nicholas had a knack for picking out the most tacky gifts like that silly
alarm clock. Normally he would deposit such things in the nearest trash
receptacle, but the boy *was* his favorite. And gifts from him being
somewhat rare what with their rather volatile relationship, he was a bit
loathe to dispose of them. Lacroix chuckled, eventually, if their current
good moods continued, he supposed he'd have to make a private room for his
collection of 'Nick knacks'. However, he'd best find and put a stop to this
one before its stench permeated his quarters permanently!

Sighing, Lacroix gave up on going straight to bed and followed his nose to
where the emanations were strongest. And was led straight to Nicholas' last
gift after the bowling-ball sized 'Pet Rock':

A red 'lava'd, chartruese-tinted containered, Lava Lamp.


And more so than usual as this was definitely the source of that gods awful

Even the 'lava' looked... well, 'off', as if it too was getting an upset
stomach from the stink. In fact, instead of sending up suprisingly soothing
blobs of lava (considering how he felt about the real article), the stuff
looked downright bloated as it churned upon itself. Hideously pressing
against the glass like that Blob creature in that ridiculous video that
Nicholas had given him in '83. Really... the stuff looked like it was going


Down below in the Raven's bar, Miklos received a call from a rather agitated
sounding Janette. Heeding her instructions, he discreetly grabbed a mop and
other cleaning supplies from a maintenance storage room and headed upstairs.
Janette let him into Lacroix's rooms.

"Remember, Miklos... not a *word* of this outside this room."

Eyes wide, the bartender nodded as he surveyed the disaster area.

The whole place stank like a barbequed fruit salad.

Pinkish red stuff was flung everywhere, clinging to walls, to furniture, to
a familiar figure sitting on the floor cackling quietly over and over: "I'm
going to stake him, aren't I, Misters Flopsy? And you can all be my

Miklos turned hesitantly to his employer. He knew the question would
probably get him killed, but he just *had* to know.

"Why is Lacroix making pink bunnies out of playdough?"
The End
This story was actually the beginning of a CotK Nick & LC Plot Writing
Challenge I started using plot elements supplied by several of the members.

The story must be less than 20kb in length.
The story must deal with the relationship between Nick and LC.
The story should be worded for General Audiences. (..i mean PG, not: The
The story must contain the following four plot elements (not necessarily in

1. red lava lamp
2. pack of watermelon Bubble Yum bubble gum
3. Sesame Street Big Bird Alarm Clock
4. "Why is Lacroix making pink bunnies out of playdough?"