Chapter 1 – A new calling
Remus sighed as he got off the train at platform nine and three-quarters; it had been a long year. James and Lily had finally gotten together and their romance was going strong. Lily had landed a job at an apothecary, and James had gone into the Auror's academy. Sirius had landed a job at Gringotts of all places. Who knew that he was so good with numbers? Peter was off to work for his family business. Though none of the Marauders really knew what that business was. Even Snape was headed off to study under a renowned potion's master. As for himself, he really didn't know what to do at all. So for now it was meet up with his mother and head home.
Remus had just said his goodbyes and was leaving the station when a man in a dark suit called out his name. Remus turned towards the sound of the voice and saw the man in question. The man was wearing a dark blue business suit and was tall and lean. The man himself had piercing blue eyes and balding brown hair. Remus approached the man "Yes can I help you?" he asked in a questioning tone.
The man looked at him for a short while before motioning him forward "My name is Mr. Smith, and I am with the Magical Child Services department. I am afraid I have some bad news young man, so please come with me." And the man turned and walked away.
Remus had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach, but he followed the man anyway. They reached a car and the man loaded Remus's things into the vehicle. He then got into the back seat and motioned for Remus to do the same. "What's going on? Where is my mother?" Remus questioned with a slight edge in his voice.
The man merely signaled for the driver to start the car. After 15 minutes of silence the man turned to Remus with a grim expression on his face "Boy, I'm sorry to say but your father has been murdered by Death Eaters. They found out about your condition and decided to take action against your family. They believed that the idea of a half-blood werewolf attending Hogwarts was socially unacceptable. So they killed your father in your own home. I'm sorry to say that they also got to your mother as well. As of now you are a ward of the British government until your parent's will reading takes place. For now we have booked you a room in Tom's Tavern. You'll be provided with a weekly pension, as well as free room and board. The will reading is in four weeks' time, please be present at Gringott's on the Eighteenth of July at 10:00 A.M. sharp." The man said.
Remus felt his world turn upside down in an instant. He felt tears start to leak from his eyes. He looked down at his hands and saw that they were shaking. Denial instantly coursed through his brain "No" he said in a shaky voice. "You're lying, you have to be. My parents can't be dead, they just can't be. And how do you know that I'm a werewolf? I never told anyone. This can't be true, it can't be." He said in a whisper.
Mr. Smith merely reached out and put a hand on Remus's back "We monitor all the magical children in Britain, and if something happens to a child it is recorded in their file. Werewolf bites, vampire bites, magical transformations, and so on. However no one but us sees that information. Not even the Minister of Magic has the authority to see those records. They are protected even more than the secrets in the Department of Mysteries. As for your parents this is real boy there is nothing you can do but accept this and move on. I can't imagine what you're feeling right now, but you have my condolences. No child should have this happen to them, no matter what species they are." He said in a soft tone.
Mr. Smith looked out the window and shook Remus a little "Come boy we have arrived at our destination. Time to get out." He said.
Remus vaguely recalled getting out of the car with the man and waited for the driver to get his school gear out of the trunk of the vehicle. He vaguely recalled being led into the tavern and up the stairs to his room. The man bid him a farewell and wished him well and then went downstairs for dinner. Tom brought Remus some food and Remus forced it down. He then sat down on the comfortable bed and stared at the wall. Mr. Smith opened the door to the room one last time and Remus turned to stare at him with dead eyes. Mr. Smith closed the door and locked it, he then pulled out his wand and cast a silencing charm on the room itself and left. Before he went down the stairs he turned and looked back at the room where Remus resided "I'm sorry my boy, but maybe there is a silver lining to all of this you just have to be strong and find it." And with that he departed into the cold dark night.
Back in the room Remus just continued to stare at the wall. He said nothing and felt nothing; only the man's words repeating over and over in his head. It was his fault his parents were dead, he was the one to blame. That thought just repeated over and over in his head until he fell asleep.
His dreams were filled with memories of his parents; they were happy memories from his childhood, but every time Death Eaters would come. They would hold him down forcing him to watch as his parents battled for their lives, but every time it was the same. They always lost, and when he was staring at their lifeless corpses struggling to get free from the Death Eater's grip; the death eater that killed his family would lower his hood and reveal that it was none other than Remus behind the mask.
The Remus copy would bend down and whisper into Remus's ear "It's your fault that they are dead. It's because you're an abomination and you dared to think of yourself as something more than the animal you are. You think you have friends, but they secretly despise you for what you are. It's your fault; if you had just killed yourself like you thought of doing so many times they would still be alive." Then the copy would throw its head back and laugh cruelly as Remus screamed until his voice was hoarse.
He finally woke up and looked around in a panic; then calmed down as he recalled the events from the night before. He wanted it to be a dream, and wanted to go back to sleep. Then he could wake up from this nightmare, but he knew that this was reality and that his parents were truly dead. Worst of all it was his fault; he had thought himself as a normal kid with a problem but he had been wrong. All those things that evil Remus said in his dreams were his deepest fears. He had always worried deep down that his friends were making fun of him behind his back. He gave his head a good shake; if there was anything he could take comfort in it was the fact that his friends truly were his friends.
That comfort quickly faded as cold reality set in; images of his parents flashed before his eyes. He would never see his parents again. That damn curse had ruined his life again. He couldn't take it anymore; the dam broke and the pain and misery of the situation came bursting forth. He broke down and cried, long and hard. He kept crying until his mind couldn't take it anymore and he fell asleep once again.
As he slept he dreamed again of his parents and the Death Eater with his face. Only this time when his doppelganger leaned down to taunt him Remus didn't feel the helplessness he felt before. This time he felt only anger and hatred for the creature with his face. So he used that anger and fought the iron grip the other Death Eater had on him, but it was in vain. He broke free for only a second before his captor's foot smashed him face first into the mud.
Evil Remus bent down and lifted Remus's face so that they gazed into each other's eyes. Remus saw cruel amusement in his evil clone's eyes "fight all you want you worthless mutt, you'll never save them. I rule this realm now and you are powerless here. So stay down in the mud where you belong." He taunted.
This only enraged Remus further and he used this anger for one last strike. He reached out and slashed the clone across the cheek.
The clone roared in pain and stumbled back. He regained his footing and stared at the blood on his hand. His eyes became angry and cruel as they turned a sickly pale yellow. Evil Remus returned to where Remus was and started to beat him mercilessly. Remus felt each blow; ribs cracked, bones broke, and blood rushed from his body. "How dare you, you worthless dog. I am your master now; this is my realm where I can break you over and over again until you give in to the pain and misery. You're my toy to do with as I please. You are not allowed to defy me!" he screamed.
He beat Remus for a while longer until he grew tired. "Let this be a lesson to you dog, know your place in the world." he sneered and then vanished along with the other Death Eater. Remus crawled over to his parent's bodies pulled his bettered body to a standing position against a tree. He gazed at their lifeless forms and started to cry. He felt a warm hand upon his shoulder and looked over to see that it was a female hand. He turned his head to see the rest of her, but his eyes were swollen almost completely shut and could only make out a vague female shape.
The female stared at him before she took his hand and guided him to the ground. She fussed with his body until his head rested in her lap "Quiet now, it is time for you to sleep and regain your energy." She spoke in a melodious voice. She ran her fingers through Remus's brown hair and gazed at his battered body. "Your pain is great Remus, but I believe you will overcome it. Your demons are strong and your guilt and self-hatred run very deep. Misery cuts deep into your soul. These are things I will help you overcome when the time is right but first you must see that their deaths were not your fault. Then you can truly begin to recover. Tonight you took the first step; you fought back instead of giving into the pain and allow yourself to be consumed by grief. This is only a temporary victory you must continue to struggle for your survival or your own darkness will consume you and all will be lost. For now though sleep and gain the strength you need to face the new day." She spoke warmly as she stroked his hair.
Remus woke up the next day feeling no better than he did the day before. He was still guilt stricken over the news of his parent's deaths. He briefly thought about writing to James, Lily, and Sirius but he didn't want to burden them with his problems. He found that although he felt no better, there were no tears left for him to cry. Sleep had done nothing for him; he still felt weak and tired, but he heard his stomach rumble. Deciding that he felt good enough to eat he forced himself to his feet with a grunt of pain. He remembered the beating Dream Remus had given him and he could feel the phantom pains of where the welts and bruises from the beating formed on his body.
He slowly but surely moved into the bathroom and climbed into the shower and just stood there under the hot water. He eventually reached for the soap and shampoo that was provided and proceeded to wash himself. After he had toweled off and pulled a worn from some Slytherin in his previous year at Hogwarts and pulled out his razor and shaved off the stubble that had accumulated the day before.
He then proceeded to head downstairs and took a seat at one of the booths in the back and waited for the hostess to come over and take his order. To his surprise Tom himself came over and motioned for Remus to follow him. He sat Remus down in one of the bar stools and sat in the one next to him. Remus shied away from Tom's hand as he attempted to place it on Remus's shoulder.
Tom only looked at the boy and wondered what was going through the boy's head at the moment. Tom was informed of Remus's condition and did not turn the boy away. As long as a person paid for their food and room and didn't cause any trouble they were welcome in his tavern. He glanced around the tavern floor and saw that no one was there. It was still early in the morning and he didn't open the tavern for breakfast until nine in the morning. He looked at the boy who shied away from Tom's hand again and he let out a long sigh "Listen boy, I have an idea of what you're going through. I lost my dad to Vampire when I was ten. I had wondered out into the yard during the night and the vampire attacked. My dad intervened and killed the vampire at the cost of his own life. For months I believed it was my fault and I was responsible; it was only through months of recovery that I realized it was the vampire that took his life. It was the Vampire's fault that my father died not mine. Only after I realized that could I truly begin the road to recovery. Take it one day at a time lad. I'll be here if you need to talk." He finished.
Remus only looked at Tom with a blank face. He could feel the weariness starting to kick in again "I just want to be left alone for now. I would also like something to eat." He responded in a dead tone.
Tom just nodded and got the boy some eggs, bacon and a tall glass of milk. He watched Remus down the food like someone was going to take it away from him. Tom picked up the dishes and watched Remus climb the stairs to his room. He hoped the boy would be alright; he knew from experience that Remus was in a dark place right now.
Remus collapsed on his bed again and fell asleep once again. Soon enough he was face to face with Evil Remus once again and the anger was back. He felt stronger this time, more powerful and more defiant. His clone was in his face taunting him with his parent's deaths once again. Remus tried to block him out and focus on his anger; he felt a surge of strength rush through his body and broke free of his captor. Once again he was slammed into the ground and felt himself being pinned to the ground with more force this time, but he fought back and almost knocked the bastard off of him. He was thrown to the ground once again.
Dark Remus slammed his foot into the side of Remus's face and pain blossomed all through his head. He grabbed Remus's hair and yanked forcing Remus's head to shift violently upwards. "I told you before; that I am the master here, everything is your fault Remus it's because of your curse that they're dead. Resisting me is pointless, soon you will be my slave; nothing more than a rabid dog angry at the world. Then I'll force you to kill everyone dear to you." He laughed aloud. "Your continued defiance will soon end and you will drown in your sorrow and pain. Still though I think a little punishment is required here." he bit out.
Remus found himself standing across from his parents with his wand raised. Remus tried to point the wand away from his parents but he couldn't. He heard the pleas for mercy coming from his parent's mouths and he tried to fight the force holding his arm in place. He slowly gained control over his arm and slowly but surely started to point the wand away from his parents. "No, no that won't do; can't have you gaining any kind of self-confidence." Evil Remus said.
Remus felt his hand snap back into place, and then he muttered the killing curse and two jets of green light hit his parents. He screamed as he watched their bodies crumple before him. In his pain and anguish Remus took back control of his body and smashed his right hand into the side of Dark Remus's face. Dark Remus stumbled back and disappeared. Remus once again was alone with the corpses of his parents.
"How could you do such a thing Remus?" a familiar voice questioned. Remus spun around and saw Sirius and James standing behind him.
"What are you guys doing here?" Remus asked.
Sirius merely glared at him. Then James spoke up "We saw you kill them. I guess you really are nothing more than a murderous werewolf. We have no choice but to put you down." James sneered. Together they raised their wands and let forth red jets of light and hit Remus in the chest sending him flying back into a large rock. Remus stood up but could not bring himself to draw his wand against his friends.
They attacked again and again each attack doing more damage. Remus was on the edge of death when he felt himself start to change. The change came quick fully and painfully; searing pain ran through his body as bones snapped and re aligned themselves. His muscles tore themselves apart and knitted themselves back together. He roared in pain as his limbs and face elongated. Then it was all over, only this time it wasn't the standard primal instinct that he normally felt. No this time he was completely lucid but not in control. He could see what the wolf saw and felt what it felt. He saw his two friends and the wolf treated them as enemies. It knew something was not right and resolved to rectify the situation to protect its other half. The wolf lunged forward and mauled the two boys until they were dead.
Remus turned back to normal and gazed down at his two friend's bodies, two more bodies to add to the pile. This was one of Remus's deepest fears that he would attack and kill his friends. New fresh pain washed over him tearing open the rift that Remus had started to heal. He was once again slammed into the ground and he heard that familiar voice.
"First you kill your parents now your friends, whose next you worthless piece of garbage? Who will you kill next Dumbledore, or perhaps McGonagall? No matter one by one you'll kill them all. I'll see to that and then when it's all done I'll let you put yourself out of your misery." He cackled before Remus threw him off.
"My, my still some fight left in you. Oh well, next time I'll break you a little more. Perhaps you'll kill Lily next time; wouldn't that be fun." He laughed. Then he disappeared.
Remus felt tired again "You have made much progress in a short amount of time Remus. You should be proud; it means that you have taken the first step to recovery. Yet there is still a long path ahead; the more you resist the more he will fight back and the harder he will push. He will try to deceive you with illusions like the one of your friends. Don't let him win; the wolf helped you this once, but he won't do so again. Learn to trust what is real and what is not." The female voice said.
Remus spun around to catch a glimpse of the woman but only saw a flutter of a sheer white gown and a flash of silver hair and silver skin. He found himself on his back again with his head resting on something soft. He gazed into two eyes as bright as the moon and was mesmerized. "Sleep young one. It is time to wake to a new day." She whispered.
With that Remus opened his eyes and shot into a sitting position on the bed. He knew he was in Tom's Tavern, but didn't know what time it was. He stretched his hands and rubbed his chin and stopped and rubbed it again. He shot into the bathroom and gazed into the mirror, shocked to see that he had about five days of beard growth on him. He pulled on some fresh clothes and bolted downstairs. There he found Tom catering to a young wizard. Tom looked up at him and excused himself. He rushed over to Remus and grabbed his hand.
Tom dragged Remus into the kitchen and sat him down "I was worried about you boy. You've closed yourself in that room for six days straight. I ended up bringing food up to you and left it by the door. When I came back the food had been eaten already. What have you been doing in there boy? I was worried about ya." Tom said in a worried voice.
Remus hid his shock very well. He had been asleep for six days, but when Tom brought food to him he had eaten it? That made no sense. He quickly thought up a lie "I was practicing a lot of spells that I needed to work on to pass the time. I wasn't ready to face the world just yet." He said.
Tom didn't look convinced, but he didn't push the issue. "Alright boy whatever you say, I'd recommend a trip through Diagon Alley to get some fresh air and clear your head. How ya feeling by the way?" he asked.
Remus felt better than he had a week ago. He had come to terms with his parents' death but still blamed himself. He still saw the Evil Remus in the back of his mind blaming him for the loss of his parents. "I've accepted that their dead, but they're deaths are still my fault Tom. There's no getting around that." Remus sighed.
"I said it before boy it wasn't your fault. The only ones at fault were those damn Death Eaters. You didn't hold the wand that killed them." Tom replied in a stern but sympathetic tone.
"Maybe Tom, but I still think it's my fault they died just give me some space." Remus said in a tired tone.
Without another word Remus returned to his room. When he got there though he saw something flash as he lit the lamp next to the bed; he bent down and picked up a piece of sheer silver material that most likely came from a dress. Attached to it was a strand of silver hair. Remus thought back to his dream and the flashes of hair and clothing he saw. "It can't be." He whispered. Someone had been in the room with him those six days. They had apparently fed him and taken care of him while he slept. Could the woman from his dreams have been watching over him in this room?
He suddenly felt very uneasy, yet if she had wanted to hurt him she could have done so already. She instead encouraged him to fight the pain and darkness inside of him.
Who was she? And what did she want with him? Remus was still in too much pain from his ordeal to think about it at the moment and pushed the problem to the back of his mind. He then got ready to take a stroll around Diagon Alley to get some fresh air.
That's all folks.
Author's note: Tell me what you think. Next time Remus will still be battling his inner demons and the Lupin's will shall be read. But we do after the will reading. But be careful because some Ministry authorities will be after him for a book that Remus's parents have left him. Scary huh Peace out everyone