A/N: So shame on me for starting a new story! And for breaking my promises of making no new OC's. Well I have a perfectly viable reason. One: James Sirius Potter has no canon relationships and we don't really get any new female next gen characters that aren't related to him. This is originally posted on HPFF, but considering that this story is a lot smuttier in my head, I had to release it's original form somewhere, right? And so, here is my attempt to take a break from the angstiness of La Vie en Noire and dwelve into a bit of, dare I say it? Humor.

Disclaimer: I own nothing recognizable.


I couldn't taste the alcohol on my tongue anymore. Yes.

I smiled in spite of myself. Tonight was going to be great; I was making sure of that. Slytherin had just beaten Ravenclaw not two hours ago and I was already on my way to being pissed out of my mind. Not that I'm an alcoholic, mind you, I just like having a good time. Firewhiskey happens to promote that.

Dominique Weasley, my best friend and fellow Weasley traitor with Albus, took my spiked pumpkin juice and downed it in one gulp.

"My, my, look who decided to show." She clucked her tongue in mock-chastisement as she walked over towards Fred, Lysander, and Wanker. Her platinum blonde hair billowed past her as she air kissed the three boys. I swear, if it wasn't for her last name, no one would suspect that Dominique had any Weasley blood in her.

In case you're wondering, said Wanker's birth name happens to be James Sirius Potter. Yeah, yeah, you're drooling, I don't give a rat's arse, he's the biggest prat the world's ever seen. I'm surprised his goods haven't been infested with the crabs yet, well, who knows actually? For all I know that might have already happened.

"Do you reckon Rose came with them?"

Huh? Oh.

Scorpius didn't give me a chance to answer as he walked past me to join the adorable little posse forming a few feet in front of me. Seeing as I had no choice (social obligations and all that), I poured myself another pumpkin juice and sprinkled a few (or a lot) of lovely little droplets of Firewhiskey. I took a sip, reveling in the mind-blowing numbness that comes from being, well, blown out of your mind, before I sauntered over to the gryfferin clique.

"So what brings you boys to our neck of the woods?" I smirked casually as I daintily sipped from my plastic cup, yes, so feminine.

"Quit the teasing Amelie, we both know how much you love us gryffies gracing these drab dungeons." Fred grinned at me as I bit back a smirk.

"It's a welcome change from having to drag our arses up to your seventh floor tower parties because you can't stop whining about the lack of pretty girls in your house."

Potter rolled his eyes before deciding to direct his attention towards Lynx, resident tease. Poor Potter's been trying to get into her knickers for a whole of three days, and that's a record, the suave bastard. I expect she won't hold out for long though, she's wearing her lucky bra tonight, oh yes, I can tell. Her boobs are no way in hell past a 34B, and right now they're looking as though they might spill out of her shirt.

"Well, you know we do have a thing for you slimy Slytherin girls," Fred announced as he swung an arm around both me and Dominique.

"Don't touch me you git!" She complained as she slung his arm off.

"Have you seen Rose anywhere Fred? I can't seem to find her." Scorpius cut in, searching around for his lovely girlfriend. I have a love/hate relationship with Rose Weasley. On one hand, she's one of my best friends besides Dom, on the other, she's what makes my best guy mate act like a whipped idiot.

"Don't worry mate," Fred slapped Scorpius on the back, "she said she'd be down here as soon as she finishes her Transfigurations essay. A shame if you ask me, why would you be doing your homework when you could be having a perfectly good time getting pissed down here."

Scorpius sighed forlornly as he went to go wait (by wait I mean sulk) on one of the couches for Rose's arrival. I rolled my eyes, how pathetic.

"Now you, on the other hand," Fred continued pointing a finger at me, "need to direct me to the bar so I can join you in your blithering state."

"I'm not that drunk," I mumbled crossly as Fred laughed.

"And I'm not the hottest bloke in this room, anyway, you know if I don't start drinking now I'll just die of boredom down here." he returned as we walked towards the bar.

The students immediately parted ways as they stole glances at us. Yeah, we were a pretty big fucking deal at this school, even if this was a Slytherin party. In fact, other than the occasional Quidditch rivalry (which was still strongly intact, god forbidanyone would forget that, oh no!), Slytherins and Gryffindors (namely my friends and I) got on somewhat well.

It had been more than two decades since the second Wizarding War, after all.

"Seems as though you don't need any help in finding your way around the alcohol Freddykins," I smirked.

He shrugged as he stepped up to the bar.

"What can I get for ya mate?" Our makeshift bartender, Orpheus (yes I know, Slytherins have snotty, weird names.) Finch asked.

"Two shots of Firewhiskey, one for me and the lady in waiting," he flicked his thumb in my direction as I shook my head, leaning back on the bar, my weight on my elbows.

"No thanks, Freddykins, I think I've already passed my limit for tonight."

"Aw, but Eliepoo, how shameful would it be to see me drinking by myself?"

"Go ask Potter, I'm sure he won't mind." I smirked, Fred returned it.

"He looks rather busy at the moment, no?" He winked.

I turned my head towards the common room, spotting his messy hair immediately through the crowd of students. He had his hand down Lynx's shirt. Wow, what a surprise. So much for being a tease, whore.

I smirked. Fred caught my stare and his grin grew impossibly wider.

"Very busy indeed," I mumbled distractedly as I grabbed the shot.

"That's my Elie!" Fred whooped as we both downed the liquid in one gulp. I would say I'd regret that later but hell, since when did I regret anything? (Except for well… no. Now was certainly not the time.)

"Hey there sexy," Dom greeted me by slapping me in the arse as she stuck her tongue out at Fred.

"How's it going gorgeous?" I winked back as I grabbed another pumpkin juice.

"I swear Amelie, it's better if you just drink the shots straight, imagine how many calories you're packing on by depositing them into that sugar-infested juice."

I shrugged distractedly as I took a sip, "mmmm, yummy." I licked my lips for good measure as she shoved me lightly.

I could feel the alcohol working through my brain, munching on my cells like a tapeworm… tick, tick, tick.

"You girls are really sexy when you talk like that," Fred added enthusiastically, downing his sixth shot.

"Bugger off perve, you're my cousin." Dom joked.

He gave her the bird as Lysander (back from his tobacco break I suppose.) joined our group.

He was a good looking bloke, of course he had to be, he was a Quidditch player after all. He was slender with jet black hair and eyes. His smile was pretty goofy, if you were lucky enough to see it anyway. He usually carried a somber expression, why the hell he got placed into Gryffindor is beyond me.

I spotted Rose walking in at the same time Scorpius did. His eyes lit up. The sodding bastard. He was w-h-i-p-p-e-d. He walked towards her before joining her in a vomit-inducing kiss. I didn't even know why I still considered him one of my best friends to be honest. Ever since him and Rose started dating, the only conversations we engaged in went along the lines of "where's Rose?" or something of that nature. Ah, young love, what a sodding piece of…"

"Shit!" Potter hissed as I literally smashed into him, drink and all.

I hadn't noticed I had been walking towards Rose and Scorpius' general direction until Potter oh so rudely knocked me out of my reverie.

"You made me spill my drink Potter!" I growled angrily, before hurriedly taking my wand out and cleaning myself up.

"I did nothing! Maybe if you watched were you were going for once in your life…" his hazel eyes glowered me down as he repeated my wand actions towards his own shirt.

I saw dozens of eyes looking towards us. Nosy gits.

"Maybe if you weren't such a Wanker!" I retorted, before promptly being pulled back by Dom.

"You're a bitch Amelie Laurent. I have no idea why I even bother with you!" He half-yelled before turning the other way, following Fred and Lysander. I continued glaring daggers at the back of his head before seeing Lynx follow him out of the common room. Whores, the both of them I tell you.

"Honestly Elie, can you go more than two minutes before picking a fight with James."

I whipped my head around to face her.

"Take his side then!" I yelled moodily before storming out of her grasp.

"Oh shut it Elie you know I didn't mean it like that, I'm sure he's gonna get an earful from Lys and Fred too!" She reasoned while following me towards the bar.

"Yeah as soon as he's done humping Lynx in the broom closet," I muttered angrily, taking another shot of Firewhiskey.

"Will you calm down with the shots? Jesus Amelie look at yourself! You're making a…"

"A what?" I glowered at her, "a scene?"

"Yes." She hissed before grabbing my arm again and dragging me away from the nosy gits in my vicinity.

I grumbled before obliging. That's Dom for you, always the voice of reason.

"Anyway I don't even know why he got you worked up so much, he just overreacted like he always does."

I shrugged, "must be the firewhiskey." I crossed my arms against my chest before climbing up the staircase towards the girl's dormitory.

Dom giggled behind me, "Amelie Laurent is known to get a little extra feisty with Firewhiskey in her blood system."

I laughed along with her as I threw myself onto my bed, the softness of the comforters lulling me right to sleep.

I woke up with the slightest of headaches and a dry mouth. I groaned softly as I put my palm to my greasy forehead, making the millionth mental note to wash my face before going to bed. I surveyed my surroundings, taking notice that Lynx wasn't in her bed. I snorted delicately.

Dominique was still fast asleep on the bed beside me. I decided not to wake her just yet, it was a Saturday anyway. It was insane how she could look good after a night of partying. Her hair looked perfectly tousled and her makeup was only slightly smudged, giving off a really sexy look. I threw a pillow at her face on impulse.

She let out a growl as the pillow hit her with a soft thud, "What are you on Elie? It's a fucking Saturday." She muttered before violently shoving the pillow off the bed.

I giggled to myself as I headed straight towards the showers.

Dominique was unlike any other Weasley. She was more of a Delacour if you asked me. Composed, beautiful, feminine, and slightly snotty, of course, there where Weasley traits as well. The most prominent being that she had a wicked sense of humor and an uncanny ability in witty banter. She was well-versed in the language of sarcasm.

I sighed against the hot water, letting my thoughts drift to last night. I would like to say that I was surprised that Potter managed to bed Lynx, but who was I kidding? I was strangely looking forward to seeing her face when she decided to stumble back to our dorm. I wrapped a towel around myself and brushed my teeth quickly. I stepped out of the steaming bathroom, drying my hair, just as Lynx opened the door slightly. I had to hold back my smirk.

Just as Lynx came in, Dominique pushed her way into the bathroom.

"Look who decided to wake up." I joked.

She shove me lightly and stuck her tongue out.

I mimicked her childishly, "I'll wait until you get out for breakfast?"

She winked at me before closing the bathroom door, "Don't be too bitchy while I'm gone."

"I'll try," I said loud enough for her to hear me through the door.

I turned towards the mirror nonchalantly as Lynx eyed me warily. After several moments of awkward silence, I decided to grace her with a conversation.

"Had fun last night?" I said casually as I began waving my hair with my wand.

"Loads." She retorted, searching through her drawers, for clean underwear I presumed.

"You do know you're reputation for being a tease is shot to shit right?" I said in the same tone, acting as though she wasn't worthy of my words.

She shrugged, trying to keep it casual.

"It was James." She mumbled, I could tell she was secretly annoyed.

I laughed softly.

She full-on glared at me then. I tried in vain to stop my smile from spreading.

"What?" I said between my giggles, "Did I say something to upset you?"

"If I didn't know any better I'd say you sound jealous." She retorted, crossing her arms against her chest.

I grabbed my tube of mascara, acting as though her chit-chat was an insignificant distraction.

"If I didn't know any better I'd say he shagged you on a bet." I applied a bit to my lower lashes, there, perfect!

I admired my handiwork as I saw Lynx turn red out of the corner of my eyes.

"If you're listening to what Fred and Lys said, they don't know anything." She stuttered.

"Frederick and Lysander know a lot about last night actually," I laughed to myself while reminding her that she wasn't on a nick-name basis with them.

I saw her tighten her grip on her wand.

"Oh don't be such a fool Lynx, if you want to hex anyone it should be Potter, he's the one who messed with your head." I said with a soft smile as I finished the last touches of my makeup.

She muttered incoherently before walking out of the room with fresh clothes in hand, most likely to shower somewhere else.

I hummed contentedly to myself as I replayed the conversation. Had I sounded jealous? I did have a habit of putting my foot in my mouth. Anyway it's not like the conversation was all bullshit, I knew for a fact that Lys and Fred were up to something last Wednesday when they not-so-subtly suggested that James have breakfast with Lynx. It was our day to sit at the Gryffindor table. We switched every other day so that we could all dine together. We were an odd group of friends. Scorpius, Albus, me, and Dominique were Slytherins while Rose, Lysander, Fred and Potter where Gryffindors. No one gave us shit though, everyone knew we were above that house rivalry rubbish. Except for Quidditch, nope, that was still fully on.

I loved Saturdays by the way, you didn't have to wear uniform on the weekends. I decided to change into one of my classic outfits; skinny jeans and a t-shirt with heels. Black pumps to be exact. There was something so fittingly put together yet casual about heels and t-shirts.

I put on my trusty shoes and looked towards the mirror. I tousled my hair a bit and winked at myself. Dom giggled as she opened the bathroom door.

"You are so conceited Elie!" She laughed as she wacked me on my arm. I stuck my tongue out at her as I sat on the bed.

Dom hardly needed anything done to her. She was letting her hair air dry, according to her, damp hair was sexy. And I guess it was, on her at least.

"So where's Lynx?" She asked a little too casually.

I shrugged, "Beats me, she left a while ago, probably to shower somewhere else considering we were hogging our bathroom."

"You told her something didn't you?" Dom narrowed her eyes while trying to hold back her smirk.

"Not really," I answered casually, swinging my legs.

Dom shook her head as she pulled on a light blue jumper. It matched her eyes and complimented her blonde hair perfectly.

"Mhm." Dom answered distractedly as she finished applying her lipgloss.

"Well hurry up, I'm starving." I retorted, falling back on the bed dramatically.

"Honestly, Elie, it's just food."

"And it's sooo yummy!" I giggled as I got up and walked towards the mirror.

We stood there for a while, doing model poses before my stomach grumbled.

"Alright let's go." Dom said as she flicked her hair over her shoulder.

"Yay!" I squealed as we hurried down the common room.

We walked through the halls, which were considerably warmer than the dungeons.

"So Lys was looking pretty hot last night," Dom brought up, not staring at me.

"Really?" I prodded, trying to make eye contact with her.

She shrugged.

"Yeah, I mean, all those extra quidditch practices have been doing him a lot of good."

I tucked that comment in for later, as we entered the Great Hall. The boys and Rose were already sitting at the Slytherin table.

"Ok, we're so talking about this later," I said softly while waving towards Rose.

"Hey girls," she greeted, smiling cheekily.

"I didn't see you at all last night, what's your excuse?" I teased while squishing myself between her and Fred.

"She was rather busy," Scorpius mentioned while kissing her on the cheek. Fred coughed loudly as Rose and I rolled our eyes.

"Honestly Fred, it's been four months." Dom defended.

He looked at her innocently, "What did I do?" he asked.

Dom ignored him as he grabbed the piece of toast she had just put on her plate. She smacked him upside the head as he stuffed the toast inside his mouth.

"Animal" she muttered.

Ja-, I mean Potter, was sitting next to Dom. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Lynx trying to steal glances at him while he pointedly ignored her.

"So I know a certain roommate of mine had fun last night," Dom mentioned innocently while biting a piece of her bacon.

James' eyes immediately shot to mine before going back to his plate.

"Who, Lynx?" I added cheekily, "Oh, yeah, I thought I saw her walking back towards our dorm this morning, can't say she was there last night though."

James shrugged while trying to hide a smirk. Git.

He munched on this toast casually while Lynx continued to, quite obviously, stare at James.

Fred and Lys snorted into laughter as James tried in vain not to join them. I turned my head towards Lynx, smirking.

"Told you so," I mouthed 'sympathetically'.

Her best friend and our fellow dorm mate, Pandora, eyed me with an amused look before shaking her head.

Now, I actually really liked Pandora, or Panda, as I had fondly nicknamed her. She was a gorgeous girl with pretty brunette hair and green eyes.

It was such a shame that she had to be best friends with Lynx. It didn't stop us from hanging out of course, but the downside was that Lynx always had to grudgingly tag along.

Lynx did not look as amused as Panda. She turned a heated shade of red before stalking off. Panda, being the loyal friend that she was, sighed before following Lynx out of the great hall.

James felt Lynx and Panda pass behind him before breaking out into roaring laughter.

"Honestly, you three are horrible, I'm so glad you can't corrupt Scorpius anymore." Rose retorted angrily.

"Nope," Fred laughed, "But we still have Al, don't we?" he nudged the boy in question.

"Sod off." Al muttered, before letting out a little smile towards me.

I loved Al, who was the complete opposite of his wanker of a brother. Al was a little shy when you first met him, but a downright riot once you got to know him. He wasn't very innocent either though, and could handle the playing field on his own. He was a seeker for Slytherin, and the title alone got him tons of girls.

"I think Al manages well enough on his own," I retaliated.

"Yeah? And who do you think he learned it from?" Lys responded with a smirk, nodding towards James.

I rolled my eyes and finished with a condescending smile. Fred kissed me on the cheek.

"Stop looking so pissy love, it's too early for that." Fred nudged.

"I'm allowed to be pissy this early, I'm a Slytherin." I retorted, kissing his cheek back.

He grinned, as he ruffled my hair.

I noticed James was distractedly staring at the Gryffindor table, he had been for a while now but I wasn't going to turn around like a sodding idiot and find out who was distracting him so.

Apparently Rose noticed though.

She smiled knowingly as she turned her head towards James' line of vision. James noticed what Rose was doing and quickly averted his attention elsewhere.

I felt a white heat surge through my body. I attempted to push it down as I drank my pumpkin juice. It was heating up my bones and I had to fight the urge to demand who exactly he was staring at. Merlin Elie, calm down. I scolded myself.

I saw Rose trying to initiate a conversation with her eyes with James. He finally gave in as she nodded her head towards the Gryffindor table.

I looked to my left and noticed that Dom was also watching their exchange.

"Are you going to finish that?" Al asked impatiently, looking towards my untouched plate.

"Huh?" I responded cleverly.

"You're breakfast, Elie, you haven't touched it." Al smirked at my deftness. Just as I was about to respond, I heard James stand up.

"Where you going mate?" Fred asked through a mouthful of food.

"Gryffindor table," James answered truthfully, hiding a tiny smile.

"And he's on the prowl." Lys jested, while him and Fred high-fived.

I saw James strut out of my line of vision while greeting some Slytherins on the way.

"Ugh, you three are, disgusting." Dom fake gagged.

Rose just smiled to herself, looking as though she knew something none of us at the table did. Al had decided to stop asking and willingly helped himself to my breakfast.

"Hey! I was gonna eat that!" I pouted, looking at my stolen food dejectedly. Al flushed a bit before grinning.

"Sorry Elie, I was so hungry though!"

I shook my head as I turned towards Rose and Scorp. "Are you coming with us today?" I asked politely.

Scorpius just shook his head dejectedly. "I have to finish my Transfiguration essay."

"If he would've just listened to me and finished it last night like I told him to…" Rose began

"I had a match yesterday!" He argued.

She just shook her head and kissed him.

I looked away before it got too lovey-dovey, it was sickening sometimes being around them. Fred and Lys were talking heatedly about the recent Puddlemere United game as Dom turned to me.

"What's wrong with you this morning? You told me you were starving not an hour ago," She narrowed her eyes.

"This isn't about…" Dom started,

"Not now." I hissed, finishing my Earl Grey.

"So tonight?" Dom changed the subject, turning towards Lys and Fred.

"Party at the Three Broomsticks, James got the reservations, but remember, seventh years only." Fred stated quite seriously

The last time we hosted a party at Hogsmeade, some sixth years had snuck in and tried to sneak some Firewhiskey out. Needless to say those sixth years were suspended and our group got detention for weeks. I loved being a seventh year.

The privileges you had were insane, you could get away with murder.

"Of course Al, Scorp, and Rose, can go, but you three better not go near an alcoholic beverage." Fred warned, lowering his voice considerably.

"We already know that, there's no need to be a prat about it." Rose retorted while glowering back.

"Just making sure the message was clear, and no inviting any of your minor friends either!" He added cheerfully, standing up with Lys.

"We get it you git," Rose added hotly as they both started walking away.

"Anyway, who's up to spend the day at the lake?" Fred interrupted, looking at us.

"We'll go," I answered for Dom and I, standing up as I ran a hand through my hair.

"Brilliant." Fred smiled.

Al and Rose stood up as well.

"We're going too!" Al included while he waited for Rose to stop snogging Scorp.

Scorp groaned as he trudged to the dungeons by himself.

Rose joined us while she stared after Scorp sympathetically.

"I told him to finish his essay before the party, now look at him!" Rose sighed.

Dom and I giggled as we linked arms, Lys and Fred slightly in front of us kicking each other.

I took the moment to glance quickly towards the Gryffindor table. I felt the white hot heat surge through me again as I took in the sight.

James and Rachel. Rachel Wood. The Rachel Wood. Dom felt the tension in my arms.

"What's wrong?" she muttered before following my line of vision.

She gasped slightly, "He isn't."

I seethed darkly, "He is."

I willed my anger to secede, but it wasn't working, I didn't know why I was bothering to tone it down anyway. It wasn't going to work.

"Stop staring." Dom hissed and I snapped my head forward.

Rose looked at me worriedly.

"I'm fine." I said, surprised at the evenness in my voice.

I tilted my chin higher, strutting off in my trusty black pumps. The ones that once drove James Sirius Potter wild.


So sue me, I have a thing for snarky females. SUE ME. Oh and review, I'll beg if I have to (not.) or, maybe? please, please, please? ;d