I'm Still Here
Full name: Ainslie Lien Clearwater
Name meaning: English - A Wood
Aliases: Bloody Lee
Parents: Jonathon Clearwater (Father), Elizabeth Clearwater (Mother)
Siblings: Winston Clearwater (Older brother, 28), Kendra Clearwater (Older sister, 24)
Hair color: Dark Brown, poker straight
Eye color: Emerald Green
The midnight sky was dark the only light coming from the moon, making the world seem melancholy and desolate. The usually busy streets of London were now deserted, only a companionless woman here or a couple returning home there. The cobblestone streets glistened from the rain that moments ago ended, making the streets come across even more hauntingly beautiful. This is how I loved London, at night, just after the last drop of rain had fallen, cleaning the streets of the disgusting mess it usually was. Perched in my window ledge I gazed upon my surroundings, taking it all in before the cold settled into my bones. The fall air caressed my skin like a lover that I have never possessed, remaining on the surface, teasing me before settling into my bones, goose flesh breaking out.
I smiled to myself before entering the warm, safe aura that my bedroom held. I closed the door behind me, but not placing the latch into its place, leaving my window unlocked. I looked around my bedroom which also served as my mother, Elizabeth's, letter room. She kept all her important documents and parchment here, on the opposite side of the room which held my belongings. I collapsed on my plush bed, suddenly exhausted, my chocolate brown hair falling around me like a dark halo. The sheets felt soft in my hands, and the edge of my journal rested just in reach. I pulled it close to me and opened to a random page.
"… So my dear friend I wonder, why haven't I found a suitable husband as my elder sister Kendra has found. Richard is a wonderful man, any woman would be delighted to have him, and sadly, I find myself feeling horrible about being jealous. But soon I will find someone to be by my side for as long as my parents have been by each others.
Until another night,
Ainslie Lien Clearwater…"
I smiled at this, knowing secretly that no man would ever find love in me and how naïve my eighteen year old self was. It was sad but true. I've be told by my father that I am to reckless, to full of imagination and childish nonsense. But that is what happens when you are raised among books and fantasy literature. Little did my father know the trouble he would cause my future when he read me all these books and gifted me with countless new ones on holidays.
Tossing the leather bond journal to the ground I climbed into the sheets, my nightgown tangling itself around my legs and ankles. I smiled to myself and turned out the candle at my bedside, showering the room in total darkness. Sleep attacked my subconscious making me fall into a deep dream filled sleep.
"Auntie Ainslie!" A voice called my name, I looked at the beautiful landscape around me, on top a rock my brother Jonathon's young son waved to me, beckoning me to come over. I smiled widely towards my young nephew, Aric, running towards him and scooping him up in my arms, planting a kiss on his chubby cheeks. He giggled loudly and squirmed, rolling out of my arms and into the tall grass. Aric took my hand and pulled me towards a Cliffside and leaping off into the water. I laughed and rested my finger tips on my lips, voices of my family beckoned me to join them. They all said many things,
"Come in, the water's fine!"
"My lovely angel, join us!"
Then finally all of the beautiful water melted away and so did the figures of my loved ones. All turning into grotesque creature's who's only origin could be hell itself. Their laughter was so loud and over powering my screams of terror.
I awoke with a start, sweat drenching my back and face. My hair sticking to my face and neck, my heart pounding in my head, echoing uncontrollably. I covered my hand over my mouth, stifling a scream that threatened to burst. Salty tears rolled down my cheeks, and fell onto my lap. It was minutes later till I saw the curtains billowing and the window wide open. Curiosity registered in my brain, dismissing the fear. I crawled out from under the safety that was my blankets and stepped towards the window, my bare feet making little to no noise on the wood flooring. I looked out the window, seeing nothing out of the ordinary before shutting it firmly and locking it into place.
But to my surprise I turned and was face to face with a boy, floating mere inches of the ground. I fell back onto the window ledge in shock, he looked at me curiously, like I was a wrapped present that he had no idea what was inside. Reaching out he touched my cheeks, his brown eyes lighting up, a smile brought to his adolescent face. He looked like he had just won a great prize.
"What is your name," He asked me, still smiling.
"Ainslie," I choked slightly on my words, my nerves sending warning sparks to my brain, "and what is yours?"
"Peter! Peter Pan," He jumped back and stood like a hero winning a great battle, even though it looked no more than a young boy playing dress up. I blinked indifferent, taking in his appearance, dirty blonde hair, blazing brown eyes, and he wore nothing but vines that clothes on his naked body. A blush seeped to my cheeks, and I looked at the ground embarrassed. No man or boy in this case had ever shown himself to me in this… uncivilized way. He approached me once again, this time floating up so he was at eye level, "Ainslie, come away with me."
I stood and looked at him astonished, where would a young underdressed child take me? "And where do you expect to take me? I am to be… married in a few short days time!" the lie flew off my tongue before I could even stop it.
Peter's smile only expanded, it was obvious that he must've caught my lie. "That involved growing up, and I suspect that you don't want to grow up…" he trailed off getting close into my face. I stopped and thought to myself.
"Do I really want to grow up…? This strange child is giving me the chance to live my fantasy out… should I trust him?" I thought to myself before asking, "Where will we go?"
His reply was two words, short and sweet, but still filling me to the brim with childish excitement.
That is when I thought about the possibility that a place called Never Land could exist. "What is in Never Land Peter?"
He smirked, a bold move, his eyes danced with mystery. "Mermaids, Indians, Pirate's, Faeries, and oh so much more. You'll love it there Wendy!" The name rolled off his tongue and he covered his mouth with his dirt stained hands. I raised an eyebrow towards him.
"Did you just call me Wendy?" I asked curious to whom this Wendy girl is.
"Yes, she is my friend, well was, she was also mother." Peter said, suddenly shy, "She gave me a kiss…"
I smiled, "A boy, your age, getting kissed? That's absolutely peculiar!" I snorted back a laugh before catching the look on Peter's face. He hadn't been lying. I lowered my gaze and focused on the ground, but looked at him from the corner of my eyes. His eye's snapped back up and the wide smirk returned; I met his chocolate brown gaze with my emerald green one.
"So what do you say Ainslie?" I bit my lip contemplating my decision, "Will you come away, and escape anything boring and ordinary?" He took his grubby hand in my own clean, dainty one. I looked down at him before he signaled to the window where a small orb of light floated towards us, before I could identify what it was sparks of light flew into my face and was breathed in into my lungs. It tickled the back of my throat and stung like whisky down my windpipe.
Before I knew it he smiled at me and looked at the ground, I followed his gaze and saw that my feet were no longer planted firmly on the ground. And to my amazement I was floating, no I was flying just as Peter was, a bright smile lit up my face and he looked victorious. "Yes Peter, I will go with you." And before my realization I was out of my bedroom window, on the path towards Never Land. The landscape of London disappeared below us rapidly and we were flying into the sky, Peter flew in close to me, our noses touching briefly.
"Hold onto my ankle." He demanded. I looked at him repulsed by the idea of touching his filthy feet. He nudged my hand and I clasped his ankle. "Now, don't let go."
"What?" I yelled, the wind in my ears deafening.
"DON'T. LET. GO." He cried out as we sped into the sky, stars whizzing beside us. I couldn't hold back the scream that filled the air with my sheer terror.
I hit the water, the cold hit me like a train as I desperately paddled to the surface, my lungs screaming for air. Breaking the surface of the cool body of water I felt the bitter night air fill my lungs, giving them momentary relief. The only light I could find was across the water, so it was then I began a long grueling swim towards what I hoped to be civilization.
The water was deep and cold, stinging every inch of my skin. My hair almost black, it stuck to my shoulders, neck and face, and the rest of me was tangled among my night gown. I could hardly move; every limb was on the brink of exhaustion. I fell then, not literally, but mentally, my entire body stopped moving and I slipped beneath the waves. I could feel my lungs burning, like someone had taken a match to them. But that didn't help then fact I knew that I was dying, I had waited so long to finally see it. I'm dreaming, on of the lucid dreams where you know you're dreaming, yet everything you see and feel is real.
That is what was happening to me.
I must've been dreaming that Peter Pan, boy wonder came to my window, promising to take me away. But then when it really came to it. It was all some little fantasy that I had spun inside my head. Insanity. That is all it had become to.
But those were my only thoughts as I could feel a presence looming around me, and a pair of arms encircling my waist as I lost all consciousness.